The most embarrassing part of your illness?

Blitter2014 · Jun 16, 2014, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by r010159

I can be irresponsible in relationships by going for the moment, and then I sometimes have to pick up the pieces. Like today.

Tomorrow's another day. I find irresponsible / irrational can feel like playful fun today, but quite often, with the benefit of 20 20 hindsight, is actually irresponsible. Then comes the forever feeling the need to apologize and so the cycle begins.....

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r010159 · Jun 16, 2014, 01:59 AM

When I was very young with this MI, I felt like taking my clothes off in front of the girl next door thinking it would be fun. Well, we never really spoke after that. LOL

Skitz13 · Jun 16, 2014, 05:40 AM

My hypo periods. I can do some pretty outrageous things that I'm pretty ashamed of.

The embarrassment is terrible when you come down and people talk about it forever. Some things are very hard to live down but I try to take it in stride when I'm with others and laugh right along with them

Are they laughing at me or with me????

Jun 16, 2014, 06:08 AM

Lack of motivation to do housework, then someone comes round unexpected and my home is a pig sty.

Fresia · Jun 16, 2014, 10:14 AM

I get embarrassed by the diagnosis, the preconceived notions, and stigma associated with it. I appreciate some the things that have helped make me who I am but not being able to be open, not being able to be myself, and having to wear a mask at times for how I truly feel, I feel shame and embarrassed by it sometimes.

Silent Void · Jun 16, 2014, 10:17 AM

I can't work. It's very embarrassing. I tell people I'm retired because I'm so ashamed of my illness.

Jun 16, 2014, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silent Void

I can't work. It's very embarrassing. I tell people I'm retired because I'm so ashamed of my illness.

I'm with you. I don't know if I can work or not. Way too many uncertainties in my life right now. I do know, if I was to get a job, I would fall back into the same behavioral patterns as in the past. Which number one would be neglecting my health. I hate dealing with an employer such as hey I need to go to the dr at... Employer : When will you be back? Me : Depends on what dr. says and how it affects my mood.

In fact I hate telling an employer anything about myself period, because it usually comes back to haunt me or used against me.

In fact I hate all employers because they all have one thing to accomplish. Get as much work out of you for the absolute cheapest pay.

Angry1541 · Jun 16, 2014, 10:53 AM

For me, it's the appearance that I don't care...about whatever it is people don't think I care about. Or not hearing when people talk to me...because I am so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I can't focus on their words.

Forgetting important stuff because I am rushing along on a personal jag of some sort or another.

Buying something and being totally into it, telling people I am totally gonna do XYZ, and then a week later being like, nah!

gayleggg · Jun 16, 2014, 10:55 AM

I am embarrassed because I don't have the energy to do anything. I do work but it is an easy job, but after I get home there's no energy for anything else.

nikmart20 · Jun 16, 2014, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RR18

Thinking I'm all that when manic and creating instant embarrassing moments that I can't tell anyone about. Yes, they are that bad.

Honestly, it's like your taking the words from my mouth.

HALLIEBETH87 · Jun 16, 2014, 04:21 PM

The things I text to a guy friend when im hypomanic

Dix888 · Jun 16, 2014, 05:32 PM

Talking 100 mph when in a super manic state

Blitter2014 · Jun 17, 2014, 06:05 AM

The moment you realize everyone's looking at you when you took it just that bit too far....

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icinggurl · Jun 18, 2014, 11:52 PM

I hate that I have a permanent scar on my hand from punching a table during a manic/psychotic episode. I don't even want to remember that stuff (thankfully, I didn't remember a lot of it) but don't need a permanent reminder of it.

Jun 18, 2014, 11:57 PM

Being so excited about your future plans, then another episode hits and its all out the window. I should know by now to keep my mouth shut about what I want to do with my life. It never pans out, I end up sick again everytime. But yet again I will try... this time might be different.

icinggurl · Jun 19, 2014, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

The things I text to a guy friend when im hypomanic

Yep - been there, done that.

icinggurl · Jun 19, 2014, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supanova

Being so excited about your future plans, then another episode hits and its all out the window. I should know by now to keep my mouth shut about what I want to do with my life. It never pans out, I end up sick again everytime. But yet again I will try... this time might be different.

That's great that you keep trying. It takes a lot of courage to do that.

Victoria'smom · Jun 19, 2014, 07:15 AM

Trying to explain why I thought it was a good idea to get into a fight with a box cutter (SI)

Explaining why food/water is unnessicary and I refuse it.

Blitter2014 · Jun 21, 2014, 04:33 AM

Looking normal then ruining the illusion by opening my mouth

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Disorder7 · Jun 22, 2014, 06:43 PM

I have panic attacks. So it's really fun to have one in public. It usually ends with lots of medical personnel and curious bystanders. I'm usually rolling around on the ground, gasping for air, clawing at my neck trying to breath. It's just so enjoyable.

Clementine10th · Jun 22, 2014, 06:54 PM

My most embarrassing is the personal hygiene issues. I won't shower for a week but cover up with perfume and deodorant to save me the huge effort it takes me to get me motivated to shower.

sdguy123 · Jun 22, 2014, 07:24 PM

One of the most embarrassing things is the shifts in my speech patterns. When I'm manic I can talk a mile a minute about a million different topics. It's hard to follow me and I jump from topic to topic. When I'm depressed I mumble when I do talk and it's hard to understand anything I'm saying. These things have been pointed out to me several times which is why it's so embarrassing.

Jun 22, 2014, 09:00 PM

That I can't walk around with a hat saying, "Hey, I'm nuts, happy, sad, angry, funny, talkative, quiet, calm, anxious, sporadic, well planned, organized, slochy, clean, nasty, nice, ugly, and sometimes all in the same day but I do have a legitimate reason what's your excuse" on my head.

Cocosurviving · Jun 22, 2014, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mental reward

Not having a conscience is not a characteristic of BP. It is a personality trait. I can imagine that must be frustrating for many reasons though.

My therapist has never said "my" chemical make up is not affected by the fact. And I've had two therapist. They feel it's part of my grandiose thinking not a personality trait. Basically I feel justified on why the xx I get mad. Therefore do not feel bad afterward. Also feel better than others as though my needs are more important etc..Your entitled to your opinion. I'll stick with my therapy. But yes it is frustrating

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Jun 22, 2014, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zoba

For me, it's making really BIG decisions when I'm manic, and then when I'm normal again having to deal with the consequences or telling everyone that I changed my mind. For example, quitting my job(s), moving overseas, moving to a new town, becoming a Baha'i, getting "saved", deciding that I'm going to go back to school to become a math teacher/Spanish teacher/speech-language pathologist/counselor/feel-in-the-gap here, throwing all my clothes away because I've become a minimalist, throwing all my food away because I've become a super strict vegan. It's come to the point where people don't even take me serious anymore when I tell them about new ideas I have or new plans I have. I find that really embarrassing.

I was telling my brother last weekend which ain't the first time I was ready to move out west from east coast (which I really wouldn't mind) but hensaid why aren't you doing it yet? I should've asked him have you read anything on bipolar like I asked you to do to understand me a little better. Instead I get angry and spout off foul language.

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