[Curiosity77]

I sometimes post statuses that are song lyrics that capture how i'm feeling, and they are sometimes pretty emo. Sometimes i'm not even feeling bad, and i'll post one just because i'm listening to the song. I post good ones too, it all depends. I've had people message to make sure i'm ok, so i try not to do that now.

Other people's happy pics can worsen my depression, but it's fine if i am feeling good. I don't post much of that myself. Most of the time the stuff on facebook doesn't bother me. What bothers me most are ignorant or racist politics and comments. I delete those people

[Skitz13]

It's been a pretty good day then my Aunt called and kinda put a damper on things. I need to learn to not answer the phone.

[Standup2me]

I've had so much fun today
Went shopping
Had a nap
Went to the dog park
What a nice day

[lonelychick]

I had a terrible day with my ED yesterday. I'm feeling kind of dark right now. I was going to try to avoid going to my parents' house tomorrow, even though I do most Sundays because it's a trigger for my ED, but now I have to. My mom does taxes and I just got a letter that the taxes I'm almost POSITIVE she helped me get taken care of somehow didn't go through properly. So now I'm freaking out over that. Letter says they're going to garnish my wages. I could SWEAR my mom helped me get all this taken care of already. I don't want to pay something I already paid. I could barely afford it the first time. I'm really confused.

[tigersassy]

Wide awake again. Have gotten 4hours of sleep this morning. I'm going too go back to bed and try to go back to sleep. If I can't I'm going to try to just lay there so my body can get some rest, but with how my brain is racing I'll probably get bored and have to get up. So much fun.

Low day to day, co-insiding with hormones. Feeling really tired like I need a good few days rest now but have a full week of groups and socialising and exercising ahead of me. The weekend was a bit too full on for my liking. Smoked too many cigarettes, no real other way to socialise in here. I hope I sleep as well tonight as I did last night and group isnt too torturous tomorrow.

[sarahblue]

This week has been a week of broken promises to myself, which was discouraging, but last night I finally kept a promise and went out with high school friends (and some of these folks I haven't seen in 30 years!) to a karaoke restaurant. Had a blast. Only problem was, I was so keyed up from the evening that I couldn't sleep when I got home and ended up staying up until 2 am!

[BlackSheep79]

I've been off of latuda for 8 days now and now I'm on my third day of anafranil. I have extremely nauseous for the entire day, like a serious case of the flu. I can barely eat and I'm scared of that because I'm pre-diabetic, I've tried so hard but I just can't. Probably will get hardly any sleep again. My thoughts are racing also, it won't stop. I hear a song or a word and it just repeats over and over again and at the same time I'm also processing a thought. I'm miserable, hope it ends soon. I'm trying to be optimistic.

[Curiosity77]

I went for a long run at the beach and then went swimming in the ocean. Then i went for popsicles with my friend. So it was a very good day. I'm a little sunburned, but it was worth it.

[TippPatt]

Originally Posted by Roblovescats

Sooo hypo!!! Bed at 1:30am up at 5:30... Plus all the other issues besides insomnia for those who know what I mean...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Jebus, I know what you mean !!

I'm coming off a summer cold - and I mean a bad one - and between the Claritin D and switching back to MOAI's as opposed to SSRI's ....

I'm flippin' out !!!!!!!!!!!

Big time chapped lips over here ---------- ARG !

[TippPatt]

Originally Posted by tigersassy

Meh... wish me luck getting to dream land.

Originally Posted by exclamationpoint

It's 3:00. I can't sleep. Not because I'm hypomanic, because I let my sleep schedule get out of whack.

Now I'm feeling so down, so lethargic, so lonely, so empty and unfulfilled.

That's why we call it Bi-Polar. My teeter totter is the same as you two right now. I feel my butt is on the ground and there's no one on the other side. Ergo - there isn't balance.

But - for the first time in some 25 plus years, I've again started seeing a therapist. Since I've been Bi-Polar for so long, I've simply outgrown having to rehash the crap that got me here in the first place. Well, those things that exacerbated the chemical imbalance problem I was born with, to be more exact. Stuff happens when you can't process properly. Meh.

Now, I'm trying to find a reason to go on. Frankly, at my age, it's not an easy prospect. Couple that with the need to purchase my final resting place and all that accompany the disposal of this imbalanced body, and it's just too much sometimes.

However, I have a really cute place picked out and I have a very healthy knowledge of what I can and cannot do when it comes to that subject. I am not the one who gets to choose which sometimes sucks so badly. However, I've noticed that many Bi-Polar people are extremely honest about what they are 'allowed' to do. Therefore, I'm simply in tune with the band and that's a good thing.

Guess what - I guess on the 30th when I see my ShrinkyGuy again, I will be able to make him happy and take it off the table as he keeps asking me to do. He'll be so pleased. At least that's how I feel today. It will probably change if I don't find a way to actually sleep.

For me, no sleep hurts physically.

[avlady]

i need my meds and can't get them as the doctor is cutting the dosage and i have to wait till tomarrow for a new script which i hope he gives me

[tigersassy]

Up and at em at 3:45 after getting to bed around 11pm. That's even after taking a melatonin. Plus off wake up staying at the wall and lay there like that trying to will myself back to sleep. I'm really needing the new psychiatrist to get into my clinic. My wife is worried that my sleep is going to interfere with my work and social interactions. I have to keep my thoughts in check.

[Curiosity77]

Originally Posted by tigersassy

Up and at em at 3:45 after getting to bed around 11pm. That's even after taking a melatonin. Plus off wake up staying at the wall and lay there like that trying to will myself back to sleep. I'm really needing the new psychiatrist to get into my clinic. My wife is worried that my sleep is going to interfere with my work and social interactions. I have to keep my thoughts in check.

I feel you. It's 2:45 and i'm up after going to sleep at 11, and that's on saphris. I'm hoping to fall back to sleep because i work at 9. And i'm not even hypo!

[Standup2me]

I woke up
The sun was shining
Birds were singing
There was a cool breeze

It felt good to be a part of it

[tigersassy]

Second check in of the day for me. I hate my job. I wish I could just walk out and say eff it all. They keep making me do more and more stuff like I don't have enough going on. Then apparently I'm supposed to be a babysitter for 4 grown men one of which cursed me up one side and down the other last year. I really don't think I should have to deal with them. I don't know if this severe anger I'm feeling is part of an episode or not. I just really want to beat my boss and her boss to a pulp right now. I already punched a steel beam. Trying to meditate for a while to calm down,but hasn't worked yet.

[Moreta]

I'm a failure. Started smoking again.

[Curiosity77]

I got volunteered for a project that I don't want to do at work, and my supervisor seems to want to take over my patients. So kind of an irritating day. I wish I had become an MD instead of an NP, because then I would have a little more say in what I do. Sometimes it feels like I have to do all the stuff that everybody else doesn't want to do. I wish I could set some boundaries or say no to this stuff, but unfortunately that isn't really an option. I have to do as I'm told.

One thing that was interesting today though was one of the psychiatrists at work told me that 1 out 8 people with bipolar disorder will die from it. I imagine that includes sui and accidents during risky behavior while manic. But that still seems pretty high to me. I don't know where he got that stat.

[pawn78]

*Trigger warning for animal lovers.

A raccoon has been tormenting my cat, getting into my garbage and eating my cats food. Last night I waited for him, and when he came onto my porch, I jumped out my front door and stabbed him with a home-made spear, but he got away... Probably mortally wounded.

It wouldn't be the first raccoon I killed, a few years ago one was getting into my house and I blew his head off one night.

Yeah, I know, I am a maniac.

[pawn78]

...damn, he's back on my porch again. Persistent little rascal. He's going down.

[diaryofamadman]

My mood has been bouncing from depressed to mixed a lot lately. Like I can't stop crying and the urges to harm myself are so strong but I feel like I'm on top of the world too. I'm getting REALLY sick of the rollercoaster.

[kala83]

not a lot of mania today but omg wayy too much depressive low swings it seems like.

hmm well acutally no thats not true I have had manic moments today.....

its just the kind that usually end up making me be a real jerk and be super irritable....and I really dis like it. I got into fairly good sized fights with my boyfriend....and on top of that....it seems like my mom wants to try to start **** with me...as well I don't allow her and her attitude to get to me...but her blatant disregard for giving a **** if something she says is hurtful to me or not....is just really really starting to get on my nerves badly.

but all I can do is wait things out and try to get out of here when I can.....which is not now but hopefully it can be soon

Hypo? Been debating it. Sleep's been crap for awhile now (2 am, 3 am, 4 am, take your pick -- not tired) irritability's been running on the high side (hot weather does that to me too though, so hard to say), kind of hard to sit still, not talk etc., but tonight was weird. Was putting together something to eat and scent got really intense, and… not right. Couldn't figure out what it was. Got pretty wiggy. Half the salad got plucked out. There's not anything that would have been "off", but damn. Wth? Is it you, Scallions? Or is it you, Cucumber? Neither one seemed like itself, and… well, it's hard to explain. Suffice to say sense of smell -- rather intense.

Put my migraine meds in the bag for tomorrow. Just in case. Haven't had one for quite some time and the prodromal stuff has been known to change up and throw me. Could be that. One? Both? Neither? Who knows?

[TippPatt]

Damn, just spoke to my best friend from college days and the woman had very little to say to me regarding my current state, which isn't good. She acted as though it were in passing even thought to me I'm in a critical space.

Top that off with having to see a shirnk for the first time in 28 years because of 'the triggers' and man, I feel so isolated from reality right now.

Especially since I have to purchase my final expenses this week and my resting place.

WOW - if Bi-Polar folks are totally misunderstood, my name isn't Patricia and I'm not totally screwed up in the head.

You just gotta laugh while you sob. Damn

[Skitz13]

Today, I'm hoping will be a positive one. I see my T this morning and tonight I have a date for the first time in 5 years.

Iv'e been very uneasy around others and have isolated pretty bad but I was convinced by a friend it's time to get back out there so...I'm getting back out there. Scared as heck!!!