[Roblovescats]

I'm trying to get into shape. Tracking my food on the Lose It app. Not easy staying under 1,400 calories a day. Also starting to exercise more. Hope it helps my mental state too.

Sent from the dark side of the moon

[TheatreKid]

Still feel bad about only lasting 3 hours at my friend's dinner last night. Am feeling decent on my current meds. Anxiety is better.

[Sad&Bipolar]

Not feeling so well. I am having negative thoughts. I don't like myself at the moment.

[Moreta]

I've lost 10 lbs on my diet so far. woot! I just need to step it up a bit more. More exercise. I've just been feeling very uninterested in everything. I'm not depressed, just anxious all the time. My pdoc called me in some klonping, but he only gave me 30 pills and that's going to run out fast b/c I've been taking 3 a day. Maybe I shouldn't work. Who knows? Maybe I just need a job filing paperwork all day.

Just woke up and I'm feeling alright so far, I got good sleep however which is a great thing. Hopefully my day will improve as the day goes on.

[Notnrml85]

I've been so sick for a few months now and I have lost 25 lbs. That's about 20 more than I've lost on any diet. I guess feeling crappy all the time is having a positive effect in at least one way.

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[r010159]

I have woken up feeling OK but a bit anxious and restless. I now have a crisis to deal with. Even though I am just mildly depressed over it, I am afraid that I may spiral into depression. Oh what to do...what to do?

Today I'm having a rougher day than usual in this depressive episode. I can't quite pinpoint why. I think part of it is I'm frustrated with making a lunch date with someone who bugs the ***** out of me, just for the sake of having something to do and somewhere to go. This lunch is going to suck because she's going to ramble on about God and the 12 Steps, and that just doesn't resonate with me now. I think because I met her in a 12 Step program she assumes that's what I want to talk about. Think again, friend.

[tigersassy]

I'm supposed to call my pdoc. Was supposed to yesterday, but was kindda irritated when I called that he doesn't have a voicemail so I didn't leave a message. I'm trying to distract myself and wear myself out so I can "overcome" these thoughts. Its not working. I've been exercising for about an hour solid now and it hasn't done diddly. I should have went to work at least then I'd have other stuff to do. I can leave a message with the receptionist I guess to have pdoc call me back. I don't ready want to cause i'm afraid they'll ask me for details and I don't want that. Grrrrrrrr. Why can't this just go away?

Tig

[Sad&Bipolar]

Today, I am still having those awful negative thoughts and depression. How I long for a manic moment.

[Standup2me]

Today I am okay
The (house) roof is leaking, but I knew it would so
I am thankful that I saved enough money to pay for it

[tigersassy]

I called pdoc and left message after deliberating what I could say. I wound up having to give more info than I wanted to, but anyway said I think I'm having a mixed episode and wanted to know if I could up my antidepressant to overcome. I'm hoping that was enough to get the pdoc to call me back. We'll see. Its 5 pm so I would imagine he'd call soon.

Tig

[swheaton]

Dealing with a lot of anxiety today. I want to curl up and hide.

[Phoenix_1]

I'm still having awful headaches. I haven't got my new glasses yet because they messed up the prescription. I don't think it's that because I wake up with the headaches. I'm going to see my family doc about it next Tuesday. It's been a month with headaches every day. I hope it's not my meds causing it. I don't feel like doing anything and every afternoon I take Tylenol and have a nap to try and get rid of the headache. It helps a little bit. At least it doesn't hurt when I'm sleeping. I hope this doesn't throw me back into another depression. Sigh. :-(

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[r010159]

I went against my own rules and placed a purchased on my credit card. This is for that weight loss supplement that is derived from a berry. I have made this a priority. But I did not wait for my next SSDI check before doing this. I will make sure this is paid back by the next check in 3 days.

[Curiosity77]

Feeling anxious and insecure. My self esteem is low. I feel like everyone can look right through me and see what a loser I am.

[r010159]

Right now I feel good as long as I keep those negative thoughts under control. I am actually looking forward to my appointment with this person who can facilitate my search for a job. He specializes in people with disabilities, including MI. This should be interesting!

[in-balance]

Up at 5 am and feeling refreshed after 8 hours of sleep. Have laundry to do today and a support group to attend at 7 this evening. My anxieties have disappeared by and large, so it's nice to feel secure in my current sense of calm.

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[Flummixed]

I'm adjusting to being taken off Latuda and starting Seroquel XR. I must say the seroquel makes me feel foggy and sleepy right now but my anxiety so far is sloping downward and after dealing with that so much for the past 6-7 months for that I am so very grateful.

Today is the only day this week (including Saturday) that I don't have an appointment, so it's my usual routine of internet, dog walking, AA meeting and t.v. this afternoon. Hopefully I can muster up the wherewithal to put together BLTs tonight with my husband. I wimped out on it yesterday - - just didn't have the energy or right frame of mind.

Today I'm alright, I had to stop taking one of my medication cause it's lowering my blood pressure so I guess I'll have to be put on a different medication along with my antidepressants. My head feels very odd right now and I believe it's due to with-drawling from the medication that I recently stopped taking. Hope this passes soon.

[x_BabyG_x]

Bit further with my diagnosis today. BP 2 x

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[Notnrml85]

Was all lined up to see my new p-doc with my new coveredca insurance. But I missed it accidentally
And... I guess their policy is if you no-show for an appointment, then they refuse to see you as a patient at all.
i'm super bummed, because I picked out the doctor from online that I thought I would really like. I'm really nervous about having a new psych doctor but now I have to find a whole other one through my new insurance because now the first one I can't go to so...uuugh!
I'm so pissed at myself for missing that appointment.

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[redbandit]

Feel like crap does it ever get better?? I'm sick of being depressed all the time

[charo224488]

Originally Posted by Notnrml85

I yelled at my dad yesterday for some f-ed up stuff he's done that's really affected me in my life. He told me I needed to grow up and take responsibility for my own actions and feelings. The physical and emotional abuse I suffered from him as a child and teen are just a small fraction of the things that have happened to me by family members who say they love me, then hurt me. He told me yesterday that he didn't even believe i have a mental illness and that it's all bs. Today he texted me and apologized to me for the first time ever and asked that we have a real conversation about me and what's going on with me. I wasn't expecting this and I had just resigned myself to hating him... But now that he wants to know about everything I don't know if I want to be vulnerable and tell him and then have him still tell me I'm lying and making excuses for my behavior. I don't blame my mental illness for my shortcomings. I feel my shortcomings so deeply that they are a part of my core as a person not because of my mental illness. I don't know what I'm going to say to him. I think I'm gonna try to write it all down.

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Notnrml,
I would not make yourself vulnerable with someone who has hurt you in the past and refuses to acknowledge it. In my humble opinion, you are setting yourself up for another disappointment. I am in a similar situation, as my mom was physically and emotionally abusive my entire life. She died 6 years ago, and she never admitted that she did anything or was wrong in any way. (She had BPD- mean!) Not getting that closure with her still hurts me today, but being vulnerable with her always meant getting hurt. She took advantage. She said I was crazy and didn't know what I was talking about. That is what I'm afraid your dad will do. I know we long for closure in these situations, but sometimes it is not possible. Best of luck to you.