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#726
Jun 23, 2014, 08:12 AM
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Heading to t today. Anxious & worried. Have to do other things while out. Didn't sleep well. Trying to get my Roger Daultry/The Who "Eminence Front" to get out. Awesome concert 4 or 5 years ago.
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#727
Jun 23, 2014, 09:29 AM
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Paranoia is kicking in. Don't like this at all. Memo to self call Pdoc.
Tig
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
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#728
Jun 23, 2014, 10:29 AM
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Feel like everyone is against me. Like everyone hates me, talks about me, laughs at me. I feel so angry with everyone. Maybe this is not a good sign.
__________________
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 Anonymous45023
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#729
Jun 23, 2014, 04:06 PM
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Ahh, everything's fine after therapy. Went and bought a lotto ticket, and hit. As soon as rain quits I'm out to cruise on my new "Fat Boy" while listening to some ole Crue "Wild Side"
In my freakin' dreams. |
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#730
Jun 23, 2014, 05:10 PM
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I fed myself today even though I would have been just as "happy" laying on the couch without food for the rest of the night. And I made it to partial. Stayed the whole day.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| Anonymous45023, lonelychick
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#731
Jun 24, 2014, 03:13 AM
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Felt extremely lethargic today. Couldn't get the energy to do anything. I managed to get some work done but it drained me - probably because I've been up since seven. I never do well on long days. Around nine PM I had just sent a video message to my long-distance boyfriend and was heading over to the local gas station for a hot chocolate when I bumped into the friends I see almost daily. We decided to hit Denny's for desert.
It was there that - according to one of my friends - we spotted my abuser. Normally, I would've been terrified, anxious, possibly have a panic attack, and then insist on leaving. But for some reason, I wasn't afraid. We sat relatively far from him and I sat on the side of the booth that is blocked by a wall. My friend was able to keep an eye on him. I felt confident. Like he couldn't do anything to hurt me. I felt very sure and aware of my own abilities and knew that I could fight him off if need be. But it never came to that, and I was satisfied. I'm really excited about this but the late effects of my pills are begging me to go to sleep eighteen hours after I got up. Oh well.
__________________
"We are more than the worst thing that's ever happened to us. All of us need to stop apologizing for having been to hell and come back breathing. Your bad dreams are battle scars. What doesn't kill you cuts you f****** deep but scars are just skin growing back thicker when it heals." ~ Clementine von Radics Bipolar type 2 complex PTSD GAD Depression possibly OCD |
| Anonymous200280
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 Curiosity77, pawn78
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#732
Jun 24, 2014, 09:50 AM
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Sat with my tea on the deck this morning, and felt the warmth of the sun
Heard the birds singing. I feel like I am a part of this world |
| ceramichornets
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| Roblovescats, sarahblue
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#733
Jun 24, 2014, 10:11 AM
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Was rather hypo last night until right before bed...then felt a bit depressed...but that was likely just being tired.
Today, I am feeling pretty up...and just got a call from the therapist's office, they had been looking to hook me up with a new therapist, but I hadn't heard anything for weeks, then suddenly I get call today confirming my appt tomorrow!!!! Um...okay...I guess!  So we'll see... |
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#734
Jun 24, 2014, 10:21 AM
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Called Pdoc. Still no new Dr, but the one covering will call. Brick wall meet forehead
Tig
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
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#735
Jun 24, 2014, 11:01 AM
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Checking in. Haven't in awhile but I figured I should since I haven't been on here in awhile. I'm doing better today and not feeling as down as I was a few weeks ago. Hope I continue to feel this way.
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| Anonymous45023
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#736
Jun 24, 2014, 11:58 AM
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I keep having intrusive thoughts. Mainly because my body is falling apart, and I'm tired of being in poor physical health. I've been journaling when I think about it, since my t told me to start. Most of it is how I don't want to be here anymore. I hope she doesn't make me go to the hospital. I don't have time for that. I'll be fine. I just feel like crap.
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#737
Jun 24, 2014, 02:08 PM
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It's early but I want to talk about it now. I'm having a hard time leaving my room today. It's noon and I haven't even turned on any lights or eaten. I'm physically repulsed by light today for some reason, and since my mom insists on having the blinds pulled up for the plants, I feel like I'm trapped in here. I don't know what to do.
__________________
"We are more than the worst thing that's ever happened to us. All of us need to stop apologizing for having been to hell and come back breathing. Your bad dreams are battle scars. What doesn't kill you cuts you f****** deep but scars are just skin growing back thicker when it heals." ~ Clementine von Radics Bipolar type 2 complex PTSD GAD Depression possibly OCD |
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#738
Jun 24, 2014, 04:01 PM
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Got a decision to make. Start cutting down the viibryd in anticipation of new Pdoc changing antidepressant. Or refilling at 40 mg and waiting to step down until after meeting new Pdoc. I hate having to make decisions.
Tig
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
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#739
Jun 24, 2014, 10:11 PM
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I've felt ok bipolar wise these last few days, but this ed is totally controlling my life. I did get really good news about getting back in to see the t I liked who went on maternity leave. I wasn't sure I'd be able to go back to her and I hated the new lady. Turns out my good t will be back the first full week of July and I *should* be able to see her sometime around then. It's nice to know there's probable help in sight.
__________________
"I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between." Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath |
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#740
Jun 24, 2014, 11:32 PM
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Went to the mall and seen a movie with my daughters. The day was decent
Sent from iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#741
Jun 25, 2014, 10:15 AM
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Can't fall asleep- 2 full nights now. Even with xanax I just lay there. Finished a novel in 3 nights. I'm so tired.
__________________
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| Anonymous45023, bumble2u, Ziriya2
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#742
Jun 25, 2014, 10:17 AM
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The clouds are weeping
Rainy days always make me so sad |
| bumble2u, Ziriya2
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#743
Jun 25, 2014, 10:23 AM
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A very bad day. I'm not suicidal but I just really wish death would come see me. Yes it's that bad
__________________
Everyone is a little f-ed up. Some are just more f-ed up then others.
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| Anonymous45023, bumble2u, charo224488, Hbomb0903, lonelychick, Ziriya2
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#745
Jun 25, 2014, 03:01 PM
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I'm so lonely today I'm looking at Craig's List. Lord Help Me !!
You know it's bad when.... Thank God I've set an appointment for July 8th with a shrink. I personally prefer a psychologist. This will be new for me since being diagnosed some 28 years ago now. I've only seen the one - God John Bovey. He passed in 2008 or I'd of contacted him again. What the heck, I have to find someone in the same state, and the same astral plane, right? So, I start again on July 8th. Until then, I'm one lonely person - I have to say, thank heavens I have a dog. Buster is keeping me alive right now. If he knew that, do you think he'd run? Nah - he's too cool. I adore him. *sigh* I am truly lonely these days.....
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| Anonymous45023, lonelychick
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#746
Jun 26, 2014, 09:18 AM
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The sun is shining
The birds are joyous The world is okay |
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#747
Jun 26, 2014, 09:23 AM
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Practicing letting go and moving on... Called my step mother and wished her a happy birthday.
Good Karma
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The struggle you're in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow Don't give up |
| Hbomb0903
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#748
Jun 26, 2014, 12:44 PM
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The past three days have been hell. I'm having the worst panic attacks. I believe it is the latuda. My doctor was able to get me in today. I'm hoping he can change my medicine and put me on med leave. I've never been this depressed, to the point of hurting myself which I will tell him about. I'm so tired of trying the medicine merry go round, but I can't keep living this way. I'm willing to go back on seroquel if need be even though I am pre-diabetic from it. I just don't know what to do, I can't stop crying. Maybe I need to go inpatient but I love the doctor I have. I'm lost.
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| Anonymous45023, bumble2u, lonelychick
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#750
Jun 26, 2014, 03:26 PM
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Spent most of the morning in tears, afternoon angry, now I have a headache. Not the best day ever, but not the worst either.
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| lonelychick
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| Closed Thread |
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