[Tucson]

I cannot shake this depression. I tried to will it away with no luck. I have no worries right now. But the anxiety is there too. This does not make sense to me. I want these feelings to be gone. It has been a month and a half now.

[Hopeful Camel]

Feeling overwhelmed with the feeling that I cannot [or will not?] support myself in any meaningful way any more. I just can't seem to work without it driving me to suicidal thoughts. I am the world's biggest malingerer. I wish I could go back into private practice, but keep feeling like I can't, I'll fail, there are too many good reasons not to. Maybe biggest of them all: I'm not well enough.

I wish I could fly.

[surfacetoair]

Optimistic, sad, anxious, and not the good kind. Confused.

[Blitter2014]

Headache, covered in pimples like a teenager from my recent med change, scared of my future and yet bored with my life. Yep another normal day

[Standup2me]

Did a lot in the past three days.
Lots of house chores, and some of those things that I
always put off

It feels great!!!!!!!

[Hopeful Camel]

The usual depression, exhaustion, anxiety. See new pdoc/therapist on Saturday. Am looking forward to it. A small lifeline....

[Tucson]

I am feeling better. I saw my pdoc today. He is increasing my Fluoxetine to 80 mg per day. I wanted to try Lamictal as a mono therapy, but it looks like this is not going to happen for now.

[StayinAlive]

Hanging on until vacation, next week. Yesterday, couldn't even feel excited about that. A little better today. That's something, at least.

[Blitter2014]

I survived today, got a few things done around the house and even spent a little time relaxing. Feeling positive is a work in progress.

[buzz bee]

After two days I think Im finally over the stomach virus. Time to get back to it.

[tigersassy]

Doing well. Ankle hurts more more than it did either that our the pain in my shin has finally dissipated to where I can tell the ankle is injured. Car troubles, think the wheel bearing is going out on one of the tires. I'm tired all the time. Think I haven't been sleeping well since physical activities are limited. Really need to get a schedule and stick with it. But I'm not sure if my hours are going get changed when they hire three new person to do a part of my job that had nothing to do with my actual job. But it gave me a set schedule m-f, most of the time, and 5:30-2:30. If it does I'll have to get a restriction from my Pdoc to have a set schedule as far hours go. I'm still really tired right now. Hope the day goes quickly. Vacation starts Friday when I get off at 2pm. Yahoo.

[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by tigersassy

Doing well. Ankle hurts more more than it did either that our the pain in my shin has finally dissipated to where I can tell the ankle is injured. Car troubles, think the wheel bearing is going out on one of the tires. I'm tired all the time. Think I haven't been sleeping well since physical activities are limited. Really need to get a schedule and stick with it. But I'm not sure if my hours are going get changed when they hire three new person to do a part of my job that had nothing to do with my actual job. But it gave me a set schedule m-f, most of the time, and 5:30-2:30. If it does I'll have to get a restriction from my Pdoc to have a set schedule as far hours go. I'm still really tired right now. Hope the day goes quickly. Vacation starts Friday when I get off at 2pm. Yahoo.

To update this I got wrote up at work and wound up livid. Went off a bit on my HR manager and assistant manager because I still believe the store manager has a hit list. I'm now covering my @ss more than I ever have. I get to leave work early tomorrow because of today's events which is just fine by me because when I get off vacation starts. I'm going to have to deal with an aggressive a hole when I come back, but that's ok if it makes my job easier. Supposed to be sleeping so night all.

[Curiosity77]

I had a productive therapy session. Seems I need to work more on trusting myself.

[bipolar angel]

Feeling ok, not happy but not totally depressed. Anxiety is less today. feel as though future is not bleak...feel like there are good things...somewhere in future

.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Tucson

I am feeling better. I saw my pdoc today. He is increasing my Fluoxetine to 80 mg per day. I wanted to try Lamictal as a mono therapy, but it looks like this is not going to happen for now.

I take 200mg of Lamictal twice a day.
When I say that it saved my life, I really do mean that it saved my
life

[catman1975]

Still up and down with the thyroid nonsense. Waiting for meds to come in the mail so I can start treatment. Mostly exhausted yet still anxious.

[Tucson]

I am here. I was very depressed earlier today. Now that it is 1AM, I am feeling better. I have been going through depressive episode for the past month. Every so often it looks like the clouds lift and I can see the sun in the distance. Still no rainbow in sight.

[Blitter2014]

Got a call from people at Moodswings.net. not sure whether to join their program slash research group or not. Went and did a measure up for work...put on brave face but trembling underneath a professional facade. Still have major doubts as to my own abilities and if I can cope with working unassisted. Feel like a baby again needing its security blanket. Stomach still upset. ...sick of toast.....how long before side effects wear off?

[Tawnya20]

Staying stable and it feels pretty good.

Feeling rather bummed out. Was excited to give a really nice surprise which was met with indifference. (I struggle mightily almost all days getting up. Happened to wake up very early and was really excited to help BF, who's been really busy.) Shouldn't have bothered. All it accomplished was losing sleep (already very small amount), being useless and feeling bad.

I'd like to at least look forward to being at work, but I know what awaits there….

Damn. It all started out so good...

[tigersassy]

Vacation started yesterday at 12 noon. Today we are going to visit me half brother and fiance and stay over there for a few days. Kind of excited but not overly because my ankle still)) hurts, but I think we'll have fun. Have to pack still and get some housework done before we leave. I may not be on lots, of I might be on to much. Depends on activities. Take care guys.

[Standup2me]

Our weather is turning cold (+5 outside), and I just cannot get warm

I miss summer already

[Hopeful Camel]

Saw new pdoc/therapist. She started off by taking a history and then proceeded to start in on changing around all my meds. This always makes me incredibly anxious. Then she said, we will focus on your meds first, then do therapy. I should have told her that it wasn't ok. I am melting down inside and need some support. Back home now. She is taking me off of my Anti-psychotic and putting me on lithium. I'm scared out of my mind. She just met me. This doesn't feel right.

[bipolar angel]

Edgy.workerex few hrs, was ok, usually level of busy. Thn home. Lots to do...could not get up enough energy to do much. I did grocery shop, put it all away....folding laundry, still need empty dishwasher, do more laundry...feeling tired, yet edgy, not full anxiety yet just worrying about what I need to do

[Tucson]

I am here with my month and a half episode of depression. Yay!