[tigersassy]

Still trying... I really don't want to go to work, but I have to in order to afford to live. Depression is winning. Eugh...

[THE16THDOCTOR]

Crazy anxious. Nothing in particular either. Frustrating. Knots in my stomach. Muscles tense. Ugh this sucks. And I have to battle it through work

[RustbeltRoyalty]

Originally Posted by Sinking Feeling

I never get use to people telling me I use meds as a crutch and all I need to do is exercise and eat right to get better. Implying I am weak or stupid. They forget I have gone to the gym regularly for over 2 years, jogged, and ran daily, ate right. I lost 80 pounds. I'm still in good shape. And in better shape then most of those jokers who say this to me. But even then, I still needed help. These imbeciles that say stuff like this have no freaking idea what I go thru or how I feel and how well my coping skills actually are. If they were experiencing the same things I am, they might not even survive, yet I have for over 30 years! Damn they truly P me off royal.

I hear ya. I just had a debate with somebody who insisted I "create my own reality". I tried explaining to her that saying that was invalidating to me or anybody else with mental illness. Most people have no real clue. Granted, we may create, or choose how we manage our mental illness, but that's not the same thing as causing it ourselves.

[Standup2me]

I am feeling quiet today.
I am still shocked by the attack on our soldiers
It just does not happen here

[tigersassy]

I'm feeling better now that I'm off work. We went for a autumn drive in the forest near our house. I love the Fall. All of it and for a little bit I'm embracing the happiness. It may not last, but after yesterday's break down I have to be gentle with myself. I told my wife that this weekend we are going to go walking out in the forest (in safe zones since it is hunting season) and if I fight it she's to remind me that this was my idea. I'm hoping it'll make me feel better period. At least in this moment I'm happy.

[Hopeful Camel]

Another pretty good day. I think the decision not to move was a good one. I need some stability in my life right now. I'm beyond tired.

[Manic Trance]

Have been traveling for three weeks, before that, a month of insanity that drove my marriage to the brink. My wife and daughter had gone to Mexico for two weeks at the end of August, and I got onto this crazy work binge and a CRAZY schedule and partied a lot, and made a ton of plans for September. When she got back, I had planned this insane month, she was so mad about it. Then I had to go on tour, she came, my daughter went to my folks which was good for everyone I think, though I missed her terrible. Just got back on Tuesday and immediately got sick. Spent the whole day in bed yesterday, finally, 6AM today, couldn't sleep anymore, so I am up on here and cleaning the house. Needles to say I've made everything manic for almost three solid months now. I want to ground, I wan to clean the house, spend time at the house, cook, hang out with my family. I need stability.
Wish me luck!
MT

[Tucson]

I have not been asleep. It is 5:30 AM now. I do not know what to make out of this. I feel tired, but still not too bad. I want to get the sleep I need.

[Standup2me]

I am wondering how safe we really are.
I still cannot imagine our soldiers being killed
The world continues to change and not always for the better

ok. mediocre

[Victoria'smom]

Wishing sleep would come and waking not.

[shortandcute]

.....kinda havin' a hard time....school's going okay, but worried about whether or not I'll get a job when I'm done....I'm in my 50's and have a minimal amount of experience because of my MI and chronic pain--so I'm not a real good candidate........

feeling all excited for halloween.

not sure why all of a sudden.. but i just really want halloween to hurry up

my sister carved out a pumpkin for us yesterday, and i've been trying to find some scary stories on the internet to keep with the spirit.

halloween is awsome. i love it.

to add to the good feeling our clocks went back yesterday, so we'll be getting darker nights now. no more of these guilt filled nights (for the moment hopefully?)

only down side is at the moment is that i'm still not sleeping. but i'm kind of used to it. i don't actually remember the last time i had a decent sleep

so yeah things are good..

[Hopeful Camel]

*Another* pretty good day! Not sure if it is Abilify or changing life circumstances, but I'll take it. Finally slept all night, last night. That helps, too.

I want to be more positive, and advocate for myself more.

[tigersassy]

Still way to tired but mood is ok. I'm not up or down too much. I just am. Going to let my wife go fishing for a bit today and hopefully squeeze in a walk in the woods. Maybe might feel a little happy.

Today is horrible. Car battery is dead so no going anywhere. Can't really afford a new battery. May not be able to afford my meds. Or food. I'm screwed and no one can help me because I make reasonable money but the cost of living is outrageous. I'm a horrible person and can't even afford to live.... Fml.

[JigssawFeeling]

Watched Taxi Driver for the first time. Inspiring. Made me feel like my old self a few years ago, with all the isolation, loneliness and anti-social thoughts. The three nights out have made me real tired, but I can rarely sleep during the day, feels like a waste of time.

[Standup2me]

I need to do something to make a change
Any change from my routine
Any change to treat my self better.

I have lost the person I have leaned on for the last 20 years. When I look back, he has been slipping away for awhile now. This time is it. Permanent. I've been filling the void with cookies and music.

[Hopeful Camel]

Bit of an anxious day. Tired again. Tried to nap, but couldn't. Last night I had bad dreams. Haven't done that in a long while.

[43camt]

Diagnosed with BP 1.5 months ago. On 750mg lithium now and zyprexa to calm me down once in a while. Im doing much better.

Im living in ny with my parents but i start a job in the south in two weeks.

My girlfriend came to visit for her fall break this weekend.
We saw dave coulier at gotham comedy live, the lion king on broadway, and the terrible jrt game yesterday. My gf almost missed her flight because of subway train delays.

Im feeling great. So far today ive played Battlefield 4, read (Service by Marcus Lutrell), taken a bubble bath lol (pilonidal cyst recovery), and im about to have ruths chris leftovers for lunch.

LG.

Life's Good..

[4ALittle]

Sort of tired.
Just finished teaching exercise class to a group of kids. Makes me miss my own a little (they are in school today).
Heading to an open AA meeting for a coffee and some company. Then grocery shopping.

[tigersassy]

Work is making my symptoms worse

[Turtlesoup]

Very sluggish this morning-rough night with couple of bad dreams & got up like 4 or 5 times. Bleh-took my B12 so hopefully that will perk me up some. Going for a short hike after while if I can get myself motivated-its a beautiful day here so will try to make the most of it if I can-Peace out

[rrr0407]

I'm back on an upswing after 3 weeks of uninterested slump. It's amazing how fast I can lose my confidence. My husbands step father died last week and now his real father is in bad health in another state. Triggers.
I am feeling much better..

[Hopeful Camel]

Had an anxious day yesterday. Finally took some zyprexa.

My sleep is getting off again. Up at 4am this morning. I want to live in the night.

I wish I could afford therapy right now. I need it. Hanging on....