[Sad&Bipolar]

Today I am severely depressed. I don't know why. That's just the way it is.

[Patsy Cline]

I'm wondering today which I prefer...depression or anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Because apparently it's one or the other.

[Standup2me]

BF is getting on my nerves.
He is one of those people who talk and talk and talk.
This morning, I had to tell him to shut up

[bipolar angel]

Originally Posted by Pikku Myy

Feeling super good

Glad for you!! Always good to hear someone has successful day!

[bipolar angel]

Ok, ...not too depressed, not too anxious, but wait until I try to sleep later-hello anxiety

[Hopeful Camel]

Had a massive panic attack in court this morning. Ended up calling in sick for the rest of the day, after the rest of my hearings were finished. Shaky, still. Took some klonopin and tried to sleep. Not sure if this is from the lithium. Bad hand tremors in court, too. Looked like I was having DTs.

I hate myself.

[tigersassy]

Ok been on vacation for a week tomorrow afternoon. I've started thinking about work already. I'm still really mad about how things went last week before my vacation. My wife says there is a distance between us. I don't think there is, but maybe my perceptions are wrong it happens. I wish I could give her everything she needs, but I can't. I'm not into sex or really physical contact really, but I feel like I have to be. It sucks. Right now I don't really care about anything. I'm just existing. Which I hate. Don't want deal with anything anymore.

[Tucson]

I allowed my daughter to go to her first football game with her freind. I accidentally let my mother slip outside. Fortunately a neighbor called me. I have been depressed for awhile now. Fortunately it lifts by the evening.

[bipolar angel]

Feel worried about more I mportant paperwork I need to do, scared about future. Depressed and anxious about major stress event that we are still trying to deal with...unfortuntely I can't totally get it out of my head

[Love&Toil]

Hugs to all who are struggling. I am doing so-so. The darker weather makes me feel a bit down and sluggish. I am not exercising and I'm over eating. Sigh. I need a break.

[Hopeful Camel]

I quit my job today. Hope it wasn't a rash bipolar move, but instead, was a good thing, something that will help me get more of a handle on my personal life. I'm scared, though. Shaky. But hopefully I will feel better after the shock of it all wears off. I need to keep busy. I need to think positive. This too shall pass.

[Standup2me]

It is getting really cold here, and sun is not up until almost 8am

I am using my light box, but this time of year is so hard

[bipolar angel]

Feeling strange...depressed yet nor, anxious yet nit...like I'm thinling the thoughts hut not having the physical symptoms yet...weird...but what is bipolar if not having feelings and moods that often can't be defined!!

[tigersassy]

Wide awake. Should be sleeping. Wife is mad at me right now or at least it seems that way. I haven't been honest about how I feel with her. Plus haven't been keeping journal entries. I'm going to try to work on a schedule, but I have a really hard time with that. I'm ok 2 more days of until I go back to work from vacation. It could be interesting. New things happening when I get back office moving, newish schedule for things... not sure how I feel about the new things, but oh well. Gotta deal with it.

[Sillywabbit]

Having feelings of depression lately. Embarrassment, shame...I guess the usual when it cycles around. Binge ate all week and now laying in bed feeling fat and disappointed in myself.

[Sillywabbit]

Feeling depressed this last week. Can seem to pull myself out of feeling embarrassed and self shaming. I binge ate all week too so I'm laying here feeling fat and disappointed in myself.

[happywoman]

Went to pdoc after a year ,needed to check in as my GP always shrugs and directs me to the pdoc.feel confident that I am aware of moods mostly. 3 years since last hospitalisation for psychosis.mixed mood,hypo mania (whatever it was) I have to work on self care , connection with friends and balancing work,study, family.went for a swim today .relaxing,

[Hopeful Camel]

Woke up today feeling a lot more calm. I rented a great office, complete with furniture, for $200 month, so very pleased about that. I feel like I can leave the turmoil of the past few weeks behind and start building on something better. The anxiety seems to have lessened. I see pdoc today. Maybe I will learn more about her plans vis-a-vis the lithium. I feel almost happy today.

I feel like crap.

[Tucson]

I almost feel alive! Once again I hope this portends better days.

Having a hard time gauging where I am mood-wise lately. Sometimes clear, but shifting a lot. There is definitely a strong current of (situational) hopelessness running beneath it that I just wish would show some freaking sign of *not* being as hopeless as it feels!! I have been waiting a really long time. It would just make other things a lot easier to bear. I don't ask for much, I truly don't. So I don't understand why and so get looped in on really negative self-assessment. It's total CBT material, but I can't otherwise make any sense of it, so have nothing to counter the thoughts with. Which only reinforces them.

Generally decent. Really, you wouldn't know this other thing is going on in there. Just keep pushing through like nothing's wrong. But it's really taking a toll inside my head. Which is where it's staying. I refuse to put it out there. The couple of times I let but a single sample-sized bit of it out, I really regretted. So, like they say… the show must go on. Keep busy and try not to internalize what, when it comes right down to it, I can't control. Even though it TOTALLY sucks.

Today was alright. It's been kept at bay.

[Sillywabbit]

Today was a calm, neutral day. I loved how boring my thoughts and emotions felt. I had a great dinner with hubby and look forward to my two days off!

[Hopeful Camel]

Saw pdoc yesterday. She upped my lithium to 900mg, now has me taking clonopin during the day instead of at night, and we went over my diagnosis and what part of it she thinks is giving me trouble right now. She seems to think that my constant mood changes are more a function of the PTSD than of bipolar. Am I on the wrong thread? But, as she said, the bipolar doesn't help. I guess it is onward and upward.

[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by Hopeful Camel

Saw pdoc yesterday. She upped my lithium to 900mg, now has me taking clonopin during the day instead of at night, and we went over my diagnosis and what part of it she thinks is giving me trouble right now. She seems to think that my constant mood changes are more a function of the PTSD than of bipolar. Am I on the wrong thread? But, as she said, the bipolar doesn't help. I guess it is onward and upward.

I've noticed it all seems to run together sometimes. I to have issues with PTSD. I don't really feel my PTSD is that present anymore. But I could be wrong.
Mood seems stable don't really feel much unless it's extreme. I feel ok.

[StayinAlive]

Sad. I feel stuck in my live-in relationship and don't have the energy to do anything about it. I'm petrified of being alone. Yes, TDoc appointment this week. Am I the only one here with this fear?