Bipolar Paranoia... Everyone Can Read my Thoughts... Everyone is Going to Turn on Me

I am diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder and have been really struggling a lot lately with some extreme paranoia. My big things are that I feel people can read my mind or know what I'm thinking. A lot of times I have this terrible anxiety and I think horrible things. I always say it's almost like a form of mental turrets.

Then I take it a step further and think everyone is going to turn on me and like one day I'll show up somewhere and everyone I know will be there and they'll all join together to torture and kill me for some of the scary/unreal thoughts I have. Like something out of a horror movie about someone who is unwittingly part of some horrible plot against them.

I also wonder if I'm under some sort of mind control or if I've been brainwashed into thinking things that aren't real or at best very irrational. I have generalized anxiety disorder as well so anxiety and the bipolar disorder can feel like a double-whammy.

Things are actually going quite well with me. All the people I meet are so nice, people tell me they love me, but I can't even enjoy that for the thoughts that they're all pretending to be nice to me, but secretly they're all "in on it" and they're all discussing me behind my back.

I'm fairly functional and I keep all these thoughts to myself. But it's just so bad lately. I've talked some to my therapist about these things, but some of these thoughts are relatively new, so i haven't talked to her about them yet. I even thing that she's part of the conspiracy and when this awful ritual-like meeting happens, she might even be the head of it all! Like all these people secretly know each other and they're all being nice, but plotting against me. It's just awful.

Does anyone one else out there ever have this kind of paranoia/anxiety?

Thanks. I'm new hear. Sorry for this long post!

back in the day i thought this but i came up with something u might like to try

when u get worried they can read head think some of the dirtiest things u can ........the reaction to that will be expressed on the face ( i am talking dirty as in beyond porn )....think roman orgy

if they can read your head something like that would be a shock to the system and u would see the reactions

the other trick i know of is to sign/repeat a saying in your head (marry had little lamb/row row row your boat/camping hiking songs)

the final bit is this if they could read minds do u think they would be hanging around u ....the truth is they would be in casinos /place with powerful ppl / so they could gather info and blackmail the ppl for a better life (greed) ..............we are to low on the food chain for anything like

side note with u thinking dirty stuff if u run into a female that can do it u might get to play some of it out ..........some ladies are freaks in a good way

thankfully I only go thru periods where I get paranoid thoughts. I don't know what triggers it, it lasts a couple weeks and then it is gone for a couple months. mine is an overwhelming sense that I am going to get in trouble. the cops are out to get me, im going to get evicted, im going to end up in court. things that have no basis in reality yet I cant stop obsessing over them. but because I am well grounded in acceptance of the fact that I am mentally ill, I can let the thoughts not have power over me by explaining to myself that this is all part of my illness and none of this bad stuff is going to happen to me.

Hi, welcome. I've had thoughts like that. I've even confronted my T on it.She was so helpful in making me feel like she was in my corner once she knew that she was in on it too. In the end, I moved, she was the only one I trusted.

Right now I use PC as a grounding

trust is hard. Paranoia seems to come with dx. Feel very paranoid at times. Think it stinks, but normally can rationalize way through it.

I get paranoid when I'm mixed or hypo, it's hard I don't want to leave my home. It feels like you can't trust or believe anything including yourself. For me meds help with this but I have to push myself to trust the meds. You're not alone.

Don't stop seeking help from a therapist or I personally believe, a psychiatrist which is what I have. Can a therapist issue medications? I'm a believer in medications. Personally I can not believe all these people, or even a few, have any idea what you are thinking. It's just not possible. Maybe you're at a restaurant and at your table you knock something off your table, and they can see you are feeling upset, but still they can not tell what you're thinking about. If you jumped up and starting cursing, they would have a better idea. I like such people who do not let it upset them, and just smile. However all the many facial expressions can give people a hint, but reading you're brain is for God only.

Now I know that I'm not the only one who goes through and been through severe periods of paranoia. What a great thread.

I mentioned to my therapist a week ago about my last 3 week extreme paranoia spell and all I got was some of us go through it and some of us don't.

When I was in my early 20s, I went through exactly the same thing as Bipolarist described. Exactly.
As the years progressed the fear of mind reading went away, but I was and still am very paranoid.

Even today I'm afraid that no one really likes me. Everyone is taking part in a larger plot to mess me up. Everyone is talking about me. Everyone is looking at me and thinking bad things.

I take an antipsychotic, but even with that I'm still very paranoid.

Had this exact thought crossing my mind at a meeting today. "What if everyone else could tell what I'm thinking just from my body language? Surely they are all able to see right through me." I guess this is just part of the disease. Good to know I'm not the only one.

I suppose I should have read this before posting just now...but yes, I think I can relate. I don't get paranoid about mind-reading/getting in trouble, but definitely experience the 'everyone is in on it' feeling. Your post also reminded me of the many times I genuinely feared my parter was secretly a sociopath who was trying to trick/humiliate me. I posted about these fears almost a decade ago (on a much less savory forum, ie., Craigslist) and was told to kill myself before I end up hurting someone else due to my false beliefs. Needless to say, I never brought it up again (until recently).

Disorder7, I'm sorry you still suffer from paranoia, but just know that sharing that you have gone through the same level of paranoia as me makes me feel at least that I'm alone. And although you suffered these fears of conspiracies against, obviously these fears never came to fruition. I'm just afraid I'll live my whole life this way and never really enjoy life. Thanks for responding!

Apparently, there are meds out there that can help. It just takes awhile to find the right ones.

I used to doubt I was bipolar, that it was all some sort of conspiracy to medicate me. But now I know that paranoia is one of the trademarks of bipolar. Also, delusions can become so extreme they lead to hallucinations.

For me, realizing I am paranoid helped confirm in my mind that I really am bipolar and that there is no conspiracy against me.

( Always look for the positive in situations. It will help you survive. )

I really didn't think there was any one out there who felt the same way as me. I read your posts today and feel much better. Thank you so much for having the courage to post your story. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 about ten years ago and also have paranoia. For a long time I didn't know it was part of the bipolar disorder and sometimes it still seems separate. I just had a manic episode about a month ago and was hospitilized and lost my job over it for missing so much work. I am able to hide my symptoms from family and friends but when I had to miss a week of work for the hospital they were not okay with that.

You said things are going well and people are really nice to you but you feel like they are plotting against you. I feel the same way with people and I wonder if maybe part of that is the social stigma we feel and I think maybe we all have that mental divide of what things look like from the outside and what's going on inside with us. We kind of have to hide a lot of what we really feel, ya know? I totally understand.

I was slowly getting more and more manic running around all over the place having sex, spending money, drinking, my usual manic self and I was very paranoid. I ended up in a hotel room somewhere with my dog and some clothes about to hurt myself when I decided to go to the hospital. But about the paranoia, any time I answered an email at work I felt like the whole office knew what I said in that email or if I had a conversation on the phone I assumed everyone knew what that conversation was at work. Also, if I left my house I felt like everyone knew what was going on with me and was watching me in my car. When I went running I felt like there were cameras in the trees. I even asked my dad if there were cameras in my room in the air vents. It got even worse and I felt like you did and started to think people could read my thoughts and that there was an interconnected network that I wasn't a part of where everyone knew what I was thinking and could watch me and was in on this big joke that I wasn't a part of. I wasn't on my medication because like always I thought "maybe I don't have bipolar disorder and I can do this without meds" but I crashed and burned like always so now I'm on them again and I don't feel anything. I wish I knew what the answer was but it seems to always be a tradeoff with bipolar disorder. The ups are horrible and so are the lows but being on the medication right now I just feel like I'm not moving. I'm so grateful for the honesty of other people like you with this disorder. It makes it easier to know I'm not alone in this.

Thanks to everyone for your comments. I feel like I've been to hell, but I'm pulling myself out. I felt I was getting into serious spiritual trouble, so going to church helped. I felt like everyone was a devil or something. Now I know that was delusional. Everyone tells me how much they love me, why would they all be out to kill me?

So, realizing my delusions aren't real is such a relief. I would like to hear more about all of your stories. I'm sorry it seems most of you have gone through this. it's like being in a horror movie. I just need a day of rest and watching Netflix

Firstly that post is not long. When some of us get going it gets to be like Anna Karenina up in here!

Secondly! OMG Yes! I get that kind of thinking going all the time.

About the everyone is out to get me thing, I mean like ALL the time!

And about morbid uncontrollable thoughts. I have this one thing where I can't help imagining cutting into my own tongue with a steak knife, and I just replay it over and over and I can't stop it. It's terrible.

Anyway, hang in, we are here.
<3
MT

Can anyone know if they have delusions? Isn't part of the problem that the thoughts are believable enough to seem real?

I have had bipolar 1 mania for over 30 years off and on. For decades I thought I was just psychically gifted. I'm still not sure if that is the case, maybe we are all really tuned in (delusions taking over idk?) - but I do know that finally I was prescribed something that has toned it down - I am not schitzophrenic but perphenazine 2mg 2x's a day (generic for trilafon) has helped tone it down. That being said - paranoia, feelings of impending doom and fear are EXACTLY why I looked for - and found this group today. I was fine, having a happy day, when boom - fear began small then stronger - when I noticed it I did call a crisis line to have them help talk me down - breath, walk, task - and then came here. Your title grabbed me and gave me an instant hug. Thank you for sharing!

I had a feeling people were reading my mind, and i became very paranoid. I also became paranoid about cameras being installed in my apartment. It has been two years since this experience happened to me so here it goes.
I had an horrible experience when i discovered cameras and microphones in the ceiling fan of my luxury apartment. I heard yelling and screaming, and threatening comments outside my door after this discovery.
I then had a knock on my door and it was the police who forced there way in my apartment, and out of nowhere said i had a mental illness and needed to be taken to the mental hospital. They would not even look when i tried to show them the cameras and microphones. The doctors at the hospital would not believe me when i told them about the video and audio surveillance going on where i live.
I was forced to take medication against my will, because i became visibly upset. When i was released two weeks later, and got home i discovered an eviction notice at my door. Everything was put back together in my apartment with the ceiling fans. When i took them apart again, i discovered the cameras and microphones were removed.
It turns out i moved into an organized crime community who likes to spy on everybody to protect there criminal operation. The police were obviously involved. This experience has left me permanently on edge. I hope nobody has to go through what i have been through.

Oh. My. Gosh. Wow!!!!

Yeah... i have not been able to get over it. It's not like i could go to the cops, since they were a part of it. Ive been paranoid ever since this happened to me, and had to tear apart my new apartment looking for cameras and microphones. Gladly i didn't find any, and i feel more secure than i did a year ago or more, but i am still paranoid and not very trusting of the police anymore, or people in general. Thats why i plan to stay on the risperidone at 1mg, or maybe .5.

Oh my gosh wow!!!!! Is right!

Thats right sometimes in overcrowded places or someone next to me i can't breath,i have an irregular heart beats and i just sort of go into his thought and that person comes into my thoughts and sometimes get dazzled but i agree they know what we are upto there is no escape face it! and we shake a bit but we don't realise this due to the medication.my question is how do you get unnoticed that you're mentally ill with the rest of the people you mix with day to day people,is it possible or were ill and we have to face the fact were ill and everybody notices it?The other question is if for eg... a plastic bag or something that make noises it goes to my head i start swearing or i think i have given part of my thought away but that person looks or notices of the sound to be irregular and strange even confuses me,gets me worried that am ill and then people are watching me.please if you have any answers share it with me your experience i'll be grateful thank you.

I first was taunted by someone making noise by my door, but no one was there. There were shadows on the wall at night that came and went as if being manipulated. Sounds of my door opening and slamming shut when it was locked. My lock turning slowly back and forth as if being picked, with the whispers of kids. At this point, i grabbed a kitchen knife, crouched by the door, and started taunting them. They got scared, or whatever the noise was, and it stopped. I told the cops to come over when i saw a car parked in the back alley with someone in the passenger seat. The shadows kept moving in irregular was. I was up all night.

I was explaining to my friend how i thought all the paint on the sidewalks from construction workers was actually directions to which house to break into. I still believe some are.

[B] Hey this happens to me!!! & the worst part about what happens to me is myyyyy mind starts thining everyone can ready my mind and then its like my mind intentionally starts thinking HORRIBLE THOUGHTS just to f***
With me .. Like completely jntrusive thoughts I KNOW are are not okay and not me and Its like someone is putting in my head just to tell the other half of my mind to be paranoid others are reading what the other half of my mind is starting to think ..
Its totally crazy and In aware its happening so I can control it on the ourside but at the same time im thinking WTF IF THEY CAN READ MY MIND and everyone knows eachother and knows I'm crazy and knows what I'm thinking.. Its confusing!?!

I take abilify and its helped me a lot, but these weird thoughts started right around the time I stsrted taking it. I am getting msny benefits from the abilify so I want to keep taking it but my mind is out of control with these devilish thougbts almost. Scares me their so bad simetimes./B]