What about bipolar do you hate the most?

I can say one of my pet peeves is that when things don't go right I instantly wish I was dead. What is that?

I hate the instability and being unable to predict how i will feel each day. Also hate mixed states.

I hate the psychosis

The label, stigma

A large part of the stigma is probably mine. I spent years in denial becouse I felt that BP ment I was defective. In large part this was influenced by my growing up deaf. I had spent a lot of time trying to just be seen and treated as normal, I had teachers and bosses who felt I took their valuable time away from normal people who needed their help or jobs. I could accept PTSD because that was from trama but BP I felt like I had a big honking flashing neon sign pointed at me that said defective human.

The extended periods of feeling down. At times absolutely nothing could be done to bring a smile to my face.

The extended depressions lasting from 2 weeks to 18 months. Then the mixed states, longest being around 6/7 months. Sometimes I do wish I was a rapid cycler cos it takes a lot of hard work to cycle back to baseline.

I hate the psychosis and the mania. Makes me not trust the power of my own mind. I can fight the depression but the mania and psychosis do me in.

One of the things I hate most about this illness is the isolation I feel when not manic. I feel that nobody understands me often.

I also hate the shame and regret I feel about the things I've done when manic. Hate not being able to predict what my days will feel like or how I will react to something.

AND I also hate how much I have hurt the people I love during manic or mixed episodes.

The angry man who yells at me.

I could go on for days about the stuff I hate about being bipolar...I am still having such a hard time accepting that this is my life. And it's been eight years...

I'm so sorry, that has to be so God awful, locked into a mood for that long. I really feel for y'all. Being an ultra rapid cycler ain't no picnic either, it comes with its own special wrappings. Everytime I make my mind up its different later I get confused, laughed and looked at. Every cycle, (3 days) is different then the previous cycle. An actual ultra rapid cycler has 3 cycles happening at once at different speeds: intellect, mood, energy. Any combination of the 3 is who you are for the moment. I literally feel like a yoyo. When I'm switching I can be on a happy high one second then a depressed pup the next, then maybe back to the top next if I'm lucky. I wish I can be locked in to one mood and be treated for it.

Either or, it all sux.

Ya I couldn't hsve said that any better..

Psychosis...being completely out of control of my mind and at times my behavior because of my psychosis. Acting completely bizarrely and eccentrically in front of random people and being perceived as insane (well because I am insane sometimes...rarely thank goodness). Mostly being out of control in general. When sane, I am a pretty "together" person.

Feeling like I have it & myself in control & in a good space-working hard to do all the good positive things I need to do & then wham! it comes back & knocks me off my @*% like it's doing right now.

I hate the depression episodes that take my breath away because I'm crying so much.

I feel like bipolar (or my uncontrolled) bipolar robbed me of my true self potential

I am a nurse. ...
But i feel like i would have been globe trotting award winning journalist
A famous writer
A sociologist living with and studying tribes in africa
Learning 100 languages 500 instruments
Going to france to bake
On and on

Hands down, it's the mixed states that I hate the most. That's what I imagine hell to be like. I don't even like to mention them for fear of jinxing myself. Ugh.

The Lies that Bipolar tells. That is what causes so many problems in all aspects of my life.

The irritability ruins me. I'm going thru it right now. I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb, and I have no control. I don't even like to use my BP as an excuse, but I really feel at this moment that I have lost control when I'm going to pop.

The sleep problems are also a big problem for me, up and down and all around. There's more but I'm having trouble thinking straight right now.

I hate all of it. I hate feeling like I have no control over my own mind. I hate the impulsivity and the fact that I do and say every singe thing that is on my mind. It makes me feel helpless, which is a scary feeling.

I hate everything about it, even the name. All of everyone else's answers are spot on. And I hate when I'm asked when I go somewhere, am I not going to lose control? I tell them, it's not like I'm planning on losing control, it just happens.

However you want to look at it, bipolar sucks. It sucks having it and it sucks the life out of you. I told my therapist today that if I don't get it fully under control and remain that way, I will end up dead. Probably sooner than later if I am denied ssdi so I can afford to keep driving for treatment.

The unpredictable onset of an episode. It could be a wonderful time otherwise. Everything's going great in my life, I'm loving school, my job, everything's picture perfect, and wham, hello chaos. You always gotta hope for hypomania, but you could get depression or full blown, delusional, psychotic mania ... or worse even, full on delusional, psychotic mixed. NO THANK YOU.

Mixed. Hell indeed. It still amazes me that i made it through that whopper 2 1/2 years ago.

Everything pales in comparison, but I'd also say that feeling of utter exhaustion--of life, of fighting. Well, then also there's the excruciating level of intensity (the negative kind) there can be at times.

Mixed .. ack ack ack , even typing that word makes me shudder

Irritability, mixed episodes. Struggling with the irritability. I can't control it. I feel so bad when I snap at my son. He has mental/behavioral health problems too, so it starts to affect him. Nothing worse than making someone feel aweful and knowing you are the cause of it. Love that boy so much. In rolls the guilt and next I'll be depressed. Wish I got to experience hypomania more. I spend most of my time either depressed, angry, or mixed. My episodes tend to last extremely long too.