bipolar quiz

well, as some of you know i have been doubting my diagnosis for a while...
i have a bad memory, but i think i would remember having mania....
the funny thing is i took the bipolar quiz and i scored high on the mania side?
how can i score high if i've never had mania?
i believe the ADHD is what is causing this confusion...
is it possible that i am bipolar as hell and just dont know it?
i've had lots of problems with depression, but i just haven't had an episode that is all out mania...
i have periods where i have felt better, not depressed, but definitely not manic or overly energetic....
i had issues with irritability, but i feel like anyone in my position would of been irritable at those times as well...
why am i having problems with my diagnosis?
why cant it be easy to say "You have bipolar!" or "You dont have bipolar!"

Yes, it's possible you're bipolar as hell and don't realize it.
I didn't believe it and went to 3 different psychiatrists.

My mania manifests in irritability, so I didn't think I had ever been manic. But then I did something to someone so bad that I could have...really should have...ended up in jail. That's when I threw my hands up and said "I give"...you win. I'm bipolar. Or some form of cray cray. Give me the seroquel.

In your case, ADHD mimics bipolar so much, professionals have trouble differentiating the two. It's possible you have both.

I knew for years that I had depression I was able to figure that much out
on my own but it wasn't until many years later that I got professional help.
When I was told I had bipolar type 2 I just couldn't wrap my head around it.
The more I educated myself and the more I opened up to that fact the more
I realized that the diagnosis was spot on.
I was bipolar as hell and didn't know it.

For years and years I was diagnosed with ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, and Anxiety. It wasn't until I was hospitalized that a doctor said "Hey, it might be bipolar."

After that I didn't want to accept the fact, so I told all my psychiatrists that I wasn't bipolar (even though every one brought it up as the primary diagnosis).

My mania looks a LOT like ADHD symptoms would, but so does my depression -- inability to concentrate, hyperactivity (in mania), inability to sleep (in mania), etc.

I've never had a full blown, happy, above cloud nine, think I can fly mania either. I just get bad feeling, and than the badness has mania symptoms and psychotic symptoms. It's always just bad feeling for me. Either direction. That's why I like being stable, and if I feel myself getting a little elevated I drink on purpose to stop it, because I know it'll just be bad and make my anxiety skyrocket.

So I honestly have no idea what the hell is going on with me.

I can understand your frustration.

(The only time I've ever had a cloud nine mania was when I was first put on sertraline, so... med induced. Can it happen on its own? Can't say.)

I have no answers for you, I wrestle with this also, but you have to decide if this is working for you, ... my meds and my knowledge I "might" have bp ARE working for me ... and that's enough for now , tomorrow I may feel different but today I am content, ... I really pray you find peace and are able to move on ...

i've never had psychosis.... voices or hallucinations...
when i first went i had an evaluation test with a therapist, it was about 45 minutes long (boy was i shaky after!)
then i had a good first meeting with my pdoc (i thought it was a good first meeting)
i explained my problems, insomnia, anxiety, and at that time irritability (i think i was irritable because of sensory overload)
so i guess with this first evaluation with the therapist (who knows what that test said i was) and the meeting with the pdoc, they said i had bipolar I....
maybe i wouldnt be so skewed if it was bipolar II, but no...

my therapist later talked to me about PTSD, social phobia, panic disorder, and possible adhd... i dont know if my pdoc consulted with my therapist (although my therapist said she would consult with him for me)

it seems that my pdoc is not ok with being wrong about a diagnosis... i dont know how to tell him that i think the diagnosis is wrong and that i think its X Y and Z that are the culprits

i plan on seeing a psychologist for an official ADHD evaluation, in which im also going to ask if he can give me a full evaluation or atleast scan me for bipolar for a second opinion... i think he will do this because he specializes in mental illness, bipolar and adhd...

he is a psychologist though so he can't prescribe medication right?
it is at a hospital center though and i read on the website that you can pick up medications there?

im sorry im all over the place right now...

i am not sure if i can see my pdoc again, i stopped another medication (zyprexa) and he wasnt happy about all the other meds that i have stopped on my own (see signature)
but the only thing zyprexa was doing was helping my severe anxiety... i just dont feel right taking an AP for anxiety...

im still on the seroquel and i dont feel like im cycling or anything close to BP...

once i was convinced i was having a mixed episode(which i did go to the hospital for), but looking back on it i think it was just anxiety coupled with depression...
i went to the hospital and they put me on perphenazine, depakote, and 200 mg extra seroquel during the day, when i was released probably was the closest i have ever felt to being manic... but i wasn't manic, i was just doped up...

it wasn't long after i was released i stopped taking the perphenazine and the depakote, i stopped the cymbalta and the proponalol...

i suffer from severe anxiety and depression.. ADHD... not mood swings

does any of my rambling nonsense, make sense?
thanks for reading, im just really confused...

Maybe you've had mixed episodes? That's how mine presented itself.

i was convinced i had a mixed episode once, i just dont know though... im so full of doubt, i think they convinced me of a misdiagnosis because i was in a really bad place when i sought out help

i was put on SSRIs first from my GPs... they didnt help the depression (they may of helped the anxiety but if its not the anxiety over taking me its the depression..)
it didn't trigger mania though, nothing changed...

If it's bothering you that much maybe you could try to stop focusing on the label and instead focus on the symptoms you are trying to treat. Like anxiety and depression.minhave to be honest when I have severe anxiety and depression symptoms I am usually having a mixed episode. I know that you just can't be sure because they are so similar. I just know the difference because I don't usually have severe anxiety with my depression.

I never believed my bipolar dx either because I never had a happy mania. I thought the Drs were wrong wrong wrong. And I survived well on my own for awhile. Still had periods of depression and what I now recognize as mixed episodes but nothing mania like (I thought). Looking back now with an acceptance of bipolar I can see the hypomania. But I didn't believe it until I had a psychotic episode. Then I was finally convinced.

I know you've said you've never had psychosis. That's good. Maybe you don't have bipolar. Or maybe you do and you will become convinced of it later.

One thing I do suggest though is stop playing with your meds on your own. Going on and off of things suddenly can cause bipolar symptoms even if you do not have bipolar. Not saying you have to stay on a med you don't like, just do it with a doctor's guidance. If your pdoc won't listen to you try to find a new one if you can.

I didn't notice a manic phase until recently, and I've had this diagnosis for over ten years...
Plus ADHD can be a differential diagnosis, so some of the symptoms are similar.
The depression is easy to notice, the mania not so much. And like everyone else has pointed out, it's not always happy, irritability is also a part of it.
The more I educated myself, the better I was able to understand my diagnosis.

Being bipolar 2 I've only had hypomanis, not the "over the top" more extreme manias that can happen in bp1. I typically get very agitated and irritable, snappy, ... almost "itchy" in my own skin. I sleep less though, and if given something to look forward to at that time I'll just take it and run! Lol then the irritability goes away and I get going on a bunch of ideas/projects etc and may spend more money than is sensible in pursuit if this idea/goal (without the ability to consider possible drawbacks).
But what was confusing at the time of dx is that mist of the time it was the aggressive, irritable type. I just thought it was a form of depression that had enough anxiety and stress with it to make me an angry grump, rather than just a sad and hopeless one.

Either way, whatever label anyone wants to tack on to my name, lamictal is working for me. Those symptoms are very much diminished so the docs must b right. 😉
Now to more effectively address the anxiety... 😛

I've never had a full blown manic episode like my mother. She would have days of not sleeping, hyperactivity and so on.

My manic spurts would only last 2-3 hours or a day at the most. Mainly racing thoughts, fast heart and a feeling of Euphoria.

thanks for the responses

i have been obsessively educating myself about mental illness in general...
the more i read about bipolar, peoples stories, cycling.... the more i think i don't have it... its just hard for me to relate to so many, most people...

im trying to get an appointment with a psychologist to hopefully help me clear this up...
maybe i do have bipolar, maybe im just stuck in a dissociation phase, maybe im oblivious to my symptoms, maybe i don't know whats going on
my memory is pretty bad, but i just would think i would remember feeling pressured, manic/elevated, mixed...
i am always tired, never any boost of energy... tired emotionally too
im pretty confused... i just want to know whats going on with me

i understand the feeling of just wanting it two be in black and white. always thought...why cant i get a test like an MRI to scan my brain...say what meds i need, what diagnosis is and wyla all fixed....so frustrating...hang in here