Anyone else have trouble getting out of bed/off the couch and people pissed about it?

Seriously...is this just laziness on my part or is it other people not understanding how Bipolar works? I get so tired of hearing how frustrated everyone is with me because I don't get enough done. Well all I've done today, besides feeding the kids, dishes, and laying on the couch is cry.

I have trouble getting off the couch to. Sounds to me like you did a lot being in a depressed state. My husband wishes I would do more but understands when I can't. I'm lucky he understands. Your husband just doesn't understand how taxing it can be to feed the kids and do the dishes. Have the two of you been to counseling together by any chance? If not it might be a good idea.

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Have you adjusted to the new meds yet?

Idunno, "laziness" seems a little subjective to me based on my experiences and observations over the years. Like even when I am extremely low or starting to lose my marbles, I can usually still force myself to go through the motions of daily life. But, it is very exhausting and also makes me slowly but surely worse. Then mu history shows a pattern where every time, I eventually go completely nuts and my whole life falls completely apart. So the impression I've gotten over the years is that in order to "not be lazy" I need to be ready to sacrifice everything repeatedly, whereas for other people, "not being lazy" means cleaning their house even when they would rather watch a movie. Or something. So I would say it's all about perspective.

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I'm new here (hi!) Name is Meredith. I dont have any help... I just wanted to offer some support.

When I was over medicated all I did for periods of time was to sleep or lay on the couch. To me this doesn't seem abnormal.

Thank you! My hubs and I have not had counseling and it could potentially do a great deal of good. However, he isn't the only culprit here. In fact, it was my mother who sparked this post. I called her upset and in tears and she told me to write down my blessings. I told her I shared my blessings when I prayed and that I never hear her count her blessings to me either. She said, yes, but I don't call you frequently to complain either. When I got off the phone, I could entirely see her point so I called her back, again in tears, to ask if she is always frustrated with me because perhaps I do complain too much. She said no, she is never frustrated with me for that but that she is frustrated with me when I just sit on the couch and do nothing because not having the ability to put one foot in front of the other and get things done is just and excuse.

Thank you! If you are referring to the regular dose of haldol, it has seemed to knock me out of the mixed episode (or maybe I did that on my own because now I am feeling unfortunately depressed) but I did still experience psychotic symptoms while starting to take the drug regularly. If you are referring to the clozaril, thanks to my not so on top of things pdoc, I still haven't started it. I knew this would happen though. I knew it would. We shall see.

Thank you! When I was young and very depressed, my mom made sure I worked; I was never really able to hold down a job until I was 18 (movie theater) because of my paranoia and panic attacks but I wasn't allowed to stay in bed either. It was wretched for me and it caused damage, I think, as I had SO MUCH ANXIETY around working at the time. That said, my butt wasn't on the couch. Then, until I had my psychotic break at 28 (almost 29), I was very capable of working, even when I stayed home with my kiddos, and I did so very well. Ever since then, however, it seems impossible.

I am sorry you are experiencing depression again and I hope it is very short lived and does not effect your job. I know that must be so hard for you. My therapist is very anti no meds. She says she will only see me if I stay on them as was the case for me and, she says, so many others, it eventually causes a psychotic break. I don't know how I feel about that though as there seem to be many around this board who do well with no meds. I always like to think that some day I will be able to try it again. Meds don't seem to work for me anyway.

I don't know how this helps, but it shocked me so here goes...my mom used to be the same way. If I tried harder my house would be clean. Just do a few little things every day, etc. I wouldn't mess up my bills if I were more organized (that one is kind of true but I needed help to get organized). Etc. It made me feel awful.

Then I moved here. For 9 months I lived with my mom and stayed pretty stable during that time. Now I live 300 feet away. Since I have lived in this house I have had major surgery that left me incapacitated for nearly everything for 4 months and on some things for longer. And just about the time I could actually do things physically this episode from hell began and I've been very manic, mixed or depressed since without any real breaks (maybe a day or two twice).

My mom has helped me since I moved in with heavier housework because I couldn't do it physically and then the bipolar made it impossible. But living beside me she finally sees that I may spend most of my time in bed but that this is because I am exhausted and that I get completely overwhelmed by very small things. She knows that if there isn't food I will live on cereal and yogurt. Etc.

Seeing it this close her tune changed. Now she tells me to rest and makes me supper most nights so I get a healthy meal. Right now I'm not getting enough sleep because I can't stay asleep very long despite being so very, very tired from the depression and so instead of helping with dinner yesterday she told me to go take a nap on her bed. And when I tried to just suck it up she really encouraged a nap. Today again we were going to do something and she wound up telling me to nap and we'd do it later and then when I still wasn't up for it she was fine with that.

I don't honestly know how to deal with no-guilt mom. I can't get used to it. But she'd never seen a bad episode this up-close and now that she has she knows a lot more about what I live with, even though I've not said a lot. She even said at dinner that one of the things she is most grateful for is that I'm weeks away from getting the treatment that I need and have delayed for so long.

I don't know how this helps unless you have your mom move in with you and even then it took my mom physically seeing my lights on and me moving around still awake from the day before when she woke up that she started to understand. But I guess my point is that maybe someday she will get it. I certainly never thought mine could and suddenly she's super-mom about this. I have a birthday soon after Christmas and will probably be in the hospital or just out and feeling bad still. In the past she would have made a big thing about my not wanting to do anything until I'm better (I'm turning 40 so a big birthday) and this time she is just completely happy to celebrate in February or March when I'm stablized on Clozaril. Now she understands how hard I am pushing and sacrificing to be home for Christmas. 3 years ago I was IP for Christmas and thought the guilt would never end. No more.

Families are hard. They want to see us one way and we aren't always that way. I think it is mostly denial but it still hurts.

I hope that your dr figures things out and gets you started on the clozaril really soon so you can feel better.

I know what you mean. Being depressed it is so hard to do anything
But I also think it can become a vicious cycle...you will only tend to get more depressed staying on the couch
We feel so much better about ourselves if we manage to get some things done
Christina always has good advice as far as when depressed fo the total opposite of what you want to do
Get out of bed move produce interact

Easier said than done of course. I really hope you get better soon

It's just part of the disease. Everyone with a mental illness is playing with a different set of cards than everyone else. It's hard for my family to understand, and often they don't, I know my friends certainly do not. That being said, they accept me, and If i were to quit both my jobs tomorrow and tell them I'm never leaving my room again they would support me.

This is very true and yes she does give great advice surrounding this. I will say though that most days, the last few years especially, the physical exhaustion that depression brings is enough to hold me down. If I am a crying mess, it makes things even worse.

Welcome to PC! I know you will find much love and support around these parts! Please private message me if you have questions or need to talk!

I'm sorry you're feeling down, I understand the feeling of not wanting to get up and do anything I've been that way all day today. Sometimes just the simple chores of every day life seem too much to handle. Be gentle with yourself and don't let other people's expectations make you feel bad. I think being able to feed your children and do the dishes is an accomplishment based upon how you feel.

You seem to have been suffering for so long
My heart goes out to you
I have to say when a med works for my depression I am a pretty fast responder
I really hope you and your TX team figure things out
Is there a possibility any meds you are on are making things worse
You just don't seem to be getting any relief and no one should have to live that way

Small piece of advice my therapist told me- If I don't like the fact that my mother isn't supportive, then I should stop calling her and asking for support.

This has helped me.

This is awesome advice. A hard pull to swallow.. But good, simple advice. I think just as a female I want this amazing relationship with my mother that my other friends seem to have... And I need to realize that I'm simply not going to get it. It's been 29 years of seeking validation from someone I'm never going to get it from. Enough is enough..

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What do they all want you to get done?

I get this all the time too! "Why don't you get up and ( do this thing or that)? "You just don't WANT to do anything!" "You just WANT to be miserable!" And all these things they say just reinforce my resistance to get up because now I feel even worse about myself than I did before, as if that were even possible! People's lack of understanding about bipolar is just intolerable to me anyway! I can't stand how people think that this is a CHOSEN LIFESTYLE! As if we take great pleasure in making ourselves and those around us miserable! If mental illness were a physical handicap, people would go out of there way to make things more accessible, convenient and comfortable for us! But since they can't SEE it, they readily and easily dismiss it as something we could effortlessly change. Those who don't understand only compound an already complicated situation!

I've had those moments of not getting up off the couch and I only got out of bed for physical needs. It's hard on the people around me, I know, but I didn't chose to be depressed. I'm in a better relationship with a supportive husband, but I know it's hard on him when he has his own medical issues to be concerned about. I hope you get your med situation straightened out so you can get some relief.

I'm usually hypo but I'm going through a severe depression at the moment. I've been on the couch for days. I would always be showered by now but can't. I haven't been like this in years. My husband is very understanding, but he keeps asking questions that I just don't have the answers to. He keeps asking "why are you like this?" I don't know I reply. I can tell he is getting frustrated. I know he will do my chores around the house if I ask him to, and will not be angry. I can tell my BP is taking a toll on him, but I'm really trying. I just don't have the skills to get out of this rut because this never happens to me. I'm sorry that you are going through this. I'm sure it makes you feel lonely, I am right now.

Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. Yes, for the last three and a half years, since my psychotic break, I have had few breaks of stability in the midst of madness. I honestly don't feel like I'll ever get past it. I didn't used to be such a pessimist but it just seems obvious to me. It seems that way to my pdoc also apparently as he has brought up disability to me numerous times. I'm only 32 years old. I'm one quarter short of 40 quarters though so I'll have to work part time at least for at least a quarter before I can get it. I'm not sure when or if I'll be able to do it.

This is true...but she is generally quite supportive. She's always been this way. For instance, she would always tell me I'm beautiful them ask me to put on makeup because it would make me feel better about myself. She is so wonderful to me but there are pieces she just misses...hugely.

They want the house kept and my youngest better tended. But, mostly, and they believe for my own good, they just want me off the couch.