Just got fired for my BP.

I was put on unemployment last time I was fired. I would think this would fall under that category. SSDI doesn't start immediatly, takes months. But emergency funds might be available through your local county health department. The first few months of paperwork and transitioning from a job to disability was awful because I was at my worse and needed to be competent enough to fill out forms etc. I did get my SSDI the first time I applied for it, but was able to show years of how the disability had effected me.

Sometimes it is darkest before the dawn. I know you don't want, or probably need to hear that right now - go ahead and fall apart for a bit. I think it would be natural. Hugs!

I know it's not my place to jump in here, but I'm concerned you're being being really hard on her while we're all supportive. I understand she has abuse issues, but no one is perfect. We all struggle here and there. I'm not saying you should baby her, but goodness. The girl just lost her job! Sheesh!

Took three adds. Done after that. No subs left for a few days but I feel fine. Never had a problem with ativan so no issue there. Still have tylenols but that's to get through the sub withdrawal and NOT to start getting hooked on those. Don't even like how they feel. No obviously my doc didn't know about the adds. I had them before today. I don't plan to further self medicate. All I'm allowed is my seroquel. I think I'll feel the mental anguish from stopping my psych meds way before I feel anything else. That's what scares me. And I promise everyone if I start having dark thoughts I will go to the hospital. But I'm hoping I can sleep this out mostly.

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

I didn't work there long enough to receive unemployment. And after many previous pdocs recommendations, I need to go on SSD. I can't take anymore of this with jobs. It ****ing hurts. I too have years upon years of mental Heath records and history. But a counselor today told me it's better if I go down to the office and apply with a person because they will help me put the right things? Then I've read of people on here doing it online themselves and getting accepted within three months! So wth do I do?! And what do I do in the time being financially? I feel so screwed here.

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

Thank you! I'm really having the worst day of my life. And because of this loss of income, I lose my home in a few weeks because I was in the process of paying off my back taxes.

And yea maybe i didn't help the fact that I lost my job. I was desperate and self medicating to meet the demands of the job and to make it through the days. It was exhausting. But still a job I loved.

And I gave you all enough respect to be honest on here, like I always am on PC. I feel like this is the the only place in my whole life I can be honest with understanding people like me with a MI and struggles like mine. Sad bit this is really the only place. And in this thread I'm getting **** of from a few people because of it.

I just ask for the same respect and compassion I try to give to everyone here when they're going through a hard time ect. As a matter of fact, if you're going to just doubt me or tell me how I had this coming just save your time and move on to the next freaking post. I'm beating myself up enough over this.

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

I'm so sorry what you're going through. I haven't been able to read every post in the thread I'm sorry. I admire your honesty. I don't admire people talking down to you. And na aa is NOT the answer for everybody. When I hear someone defend it so I think they're brainwashed. Sponsors with no credentials in mental health give advice, Is not ok and it's dangerous.
I quit adderall last year, (and all meds), it was making me mood cycle. I was so scared and upset about quitting it because I believed it was the only reason I'd kept my job. But it was not as bad as I thought it would be. I was ok and you will be too. You are allowed toale your own decisions for your body. I think it will be good for the pdoc to get a fresher start with seeing how you are on less meds, then slowly add some back in.
I wish you could just be taking a disability leave rather than losing your job. I may have missed something but isn't that illegal against ADA?

Thank you!!! And yea I told them it was illegal to fire someone for being bipolar. But after the nurse (we don't even have a office manager because even she couldn't take the gossip there). Told me everything that the people and the doctor said/thought about me, I'm not sure I could face those assholes again. So before I left I told them all to get ****ed. Maybe that would get me fired? I even texted the "manager" and told her it was illegal to fire me because of BP. But the things and accusations people were making against me were probably enough to push me out of there one way or another. Even though they were false and discusting. The whole story back to how I got the job there is a long one but story short, a girl and her gang didn't like me and I was warned about this girl. I tried to ignore her and had a panic attack on the job one day. I stupidly told a few people I have a panic disorder and I think they just slowly fed on the week and thought of ways to get me fired. Yet another reason to keep your MI to yourself at some times.

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

Just wanted to vent in my own freaking thread for a sec. After I got fired my dad and bf who don't "believe" in BP said "you better be finding a new job today!" Didn't even ask what my pdocs said. Didn't even care. Cuz to them it's all "garbage and no one needs meds". I yelled something over my dad to stop his yelling and he goes "see?! You're moods change so much it's scary!"... THEN he said "yea I called your last job this happened with and they said the same thing! You were moody. Different each day. Having panic attacks! Then you lost that job!" Well ignorant father who never believed, it's called BIfreakingPOLAR!

So A few hours ago I was thinking about everything and how I'm going to have no support during this. So I texted my dad something like "so what now? Since you took me to my first appointment when I was 16 and they told you I was bipolar, you didn't want to believe it! And here I am struggling to live every day! Every day I hurt myself with my decisions and fears all for what? Fun?! Do you believe now? What more do you need? You didn't listen back then and you're still undermining my illness 12 years later! What will it take for you to understand what my life is like?!" He didn't respond. Maybe he was sleeping. Maybe the phone was in the other room. More likely, he doesn't care.

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

I wish I knew more about mental health rights in the work place. Did they say they were firing you? How long were you there? Had you been given warnings or what about accommodations?
Last year a woman left work basically telling me to **** off cuz I was reviewing her errors with her. She left out the door on her own. Said I'd fired her, we went to the little court thing and she won unemployment. That had nothing to do with MI, but shows some people know how to work the system. Those of us who don't know how it works get screwed.
Get the lawyer for your ssi case & find out if you were unlawfully fired.
If you were my employee, I'd have helped you take a short term disability leave. California always strongly sides with the employee.
Side note: during my today's crisis, I considered filling an old adderall rx. It's probably expired but crossed my mind. I need to get back on track focused with work. I didn't do it & probably won't. Just want you to know I almost did that. And it doesn't make me an addict or have evil ways, just a person struggling with bp symptoms.
I'm glad you told your dad that , sounds like a healthy way. Hope it will get thru to him.

Well at this place there is no office manager. People just make their own rules. However I came in on time every single day and was the last to leave. But a girl named Lina was our last manager but quit from the stress (surprise?) but does payroll now and I guess occasionally makes big decisions. So while the nurse was yelling at me for being so moody and complaining about my pay (I had two paychecks come back wrong!) she was trying to call Lina to see what was going to happen to me. Lina never answered and I was beyond tears at that point so I got my things and left. But I texted Lina and said "look I get mood swings because I'm bipolar and the stress of this job and the women treating me like crap don't help. But I didn't know I could be fired for being bipolar?" She never texted back. However I think they purposely accused me of stupid things for reason to fire me to cover their ***. Things that were not true. Their were many things wrong about this job. 10-11 hr shifts with no lunch. No overtime being accounted for on my check ect. Like they stopped clocking me at 40 hrs and if I went over, too bad. I said something to her a few weeks before and she never fixed it. I think I'm going to do a little homework myself tonight now!

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

I agree with moogs.. this is the time for a dual diagnosis treatment center. You will never get a hold of one without getting a hold of the other. I have an addictive personality as I have spoke with you before about and I know how it lies to us.
Otherwise sorry you are going through all this. It is so hard to deal with life sometimes

So sorry to hear this & you do not deserve to be pulled over the coals over this. I'm sure you know more than any of us that you probably need to stop self medicating to get your moods stable but being in a similar position to you (as far as I could know based on your threads & stuff), I know how hard it is to access proper treatment, not a bunch of residents in public IP in **** conditions. I also get the whole non supportive family too, mine either don't know or don't believe I could possibly have a psychiatric dx, let alone 2.

Sending peace & love

I understand why you want to stay home. I support you in whatever decision you make. But I have to tell you that having just come off of a bunch of Seroquel I know that I could not have done it (probably still am doing it since it's only been a few days since I stopped) without being in the hospital.

I don't mean to tell you what to do but this is what happened for me:

For this kind of situation in my hospital things are different than usual. I did groups until I got too bad and then I tried but was not expected to attend. It took about a week to get to group and stay there after the withdrawl of Seroquel started. They were really great about getting anxiety meds (non benzo) as high as I needed, both routine and PRNs. They gave me stuff to keep me sleeping and emphasized that I was to sleep, whatever meds it took from my PRN supply.

They dealt with my paranoia, agitation, rudeness, tears and general mood swings. They were proud for me when I made baby steps and it helped me see those baby steps. When they realized I didn't qualify for a single room b/c of my suicide risk they kept me in a double but kept the bed empty because having a roommate made things harder.

The whole thing was well, I can't describe all the things I felt. Suffice it to say that I spent a few days curled up in bed except for putting in earplugs and going to meals.Later I spent a bit less time doing that but when I wasn't in a group I was sleepig. But it took a long time to tweak meds to make me sleepy and yet able to be awake; they didn't want me ot be very energetic for a few days and then they let me gradually start doing little things. I wasn't confined to my room, I realized it sounds like that, I just had ot be there to avoid the noise. I could even hear the next unit because I had such bad hyperacuity.

Mostly I was safe. There were days that if the wrong item had fallen into my hands I would happily have been done with it. But of course that doesn't happen and now I don't feel that way so much.

Coming off meds is really hard. Even if there aren't other drugs to get off of. I would not EVER consider doing what I did in the last 2 weeks \anywhere but in a hospital. I hate being there but it got me through this.

Do you live near a city? Usually hospitals that train a lot of residents have nicer facilities.

They are letting me keep my seroquel because it really is the only thing that helps me sleep. I've tried it all! There is a hospital IP around me that I prefer but not for detox. My docs are making me quit everything from Motrin to coffee to all my meds (except seroquel) cold *** turkey. Since I'm doing this I'm also quitting my suboxone addiction cold turkey. I've wrote more detail on that on my thread in the addiction subforum. All I know is that I'm in for one rough ****ing ride. I can already feel the effects of not having my stabilizer and risperdal. I'm feeling angry with others that hurt me. Even sent a few nasty texts. Hey, it was deserved tho. But the real hell will start a few days from now when the suboxone leaves my system. It takes a few days because of a very long half life. I will admit I'm saving something to help with that. No, nothing addictive! But that along with no rapid detox and no psych meds to cope is probably worst then getting hit by a Mack truck. I'm very dizzy from spending all day crying and not eating so I'm forcing myself to eat oatmeal and drink gatoraid right now. Since I'm up so late I hope to sleep tomorrow away. I'm scared of my mental state when I wake up. I'm begging for depression and not dysphoric mania. Dysphoria is too much to handle. So much it scares me. The rage and anger. But I've promised, any dark no no thoughts, I go to ip.

So if I'm not around for a long while it's not Cuz I went back on my word or did something stupid, it's cuz I took my fat juicy seroquel. I want everyone to know that.

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

I have never been IP but I imagine they will help you wean off everything and will help you with the pain of illegal drug withdrawl. Might be helpful and safer than if you try it on your own.

Sorry you lost your job.

Why are they having you get off your mood stabilizer? I understand the other things, but why that? Or why aren't they having you wean off it at least (trileptal right?)? I was just wondering that.

How are you today?

Raspberrytorte, no they're making me ween off all my meds at once. Not sure why. They just want everything out of my system and start new.

Miguel'smom- I'm moody, cold, irritated

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

This was a ****ed up bad ****ing idea to pull all my psych meds at once! All I can do is sweat and cry! I left a msg for the guy I saw at pdocs yesterday saying that the comedown from these uppers is too bad and I need an antidepressant. I know he'll say no. But this is cruel!

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

That's why I would not have done what I did the last 2 weeks anywhere but the hospital---I had a lot of meds at my discretion in whatever dose I needed that particular moment and more meds were available if it got worse. I was physically sick for a day or so and then it got worse mentally but I was given meds that let me sleep through most of it. If I had tried at home I would have wound up IP (which was what my pdoc and I discussed; trying it at home and risking hospitalization or doing it faster and with meds to help a nursing station away; we decided to just do it IP b/c I wasn't going to make it through the lengthy withdrawl OP.)

I don't think you could get an AD to work fast enough to help much at this point. I'm also curious; if it is the coming off the stimulants that is the problem why an AD? It seems like you'd want something calming. I've had great experiences with using gabapentin and hydroxyzine PRN through my changes. Gabapentin works on the same receptors as klonopin without the addictive potential and when we got the dose right it has really made a huge difference in what I've experienced, what I was able to sleep through and how I feel now (and still am taking a bunch at night and PRN in the day but so far I've been too exhausted to need it then.)

I know the hospital sucks but it might suck less with the ability to give you meds that help without raising further issues and with the ability to raise/lower doses rapidly.

I said I'd go to the main hospital for IVs for a rapid detox but they wouldn't do that. I just hate IP beds man they are the worst. They give you sheets and I'm freezing. The IP I'd go to probably wouldn't give me much of anything for comfort. Besides my tolerance for ativan is so high right now it would be useless. I asked for a AD because phetamine abuse depletes dopamine big time. So the come down is real bad. I know that wellbutrin and Effexor raises dopamine so that's what I want. I have like three bottles of wellbutrin if this dr will just give me the ok over the phone but I know he'll just tell me to go to IP. I called my dad. Cried to him. All he said was "yea all those bipolar meds blah blah". He wants me to go over there and stay. But I just want to cry alone. I don't know I'm really weird about being away from my own home. But this weekend both my bf's small kids will be here. I might have to leave then. I had one yesterday and all I did was cry in front of him. I tucked him into bed and said "hey buddy even though I'm sad you made me feel better ok?" All I want to do is cry and chain smoke. Well that's all I am doing. I'm dizzy from not eating but I just don't have the strength to make anything now. And once I get out of bed, my skin is instantly cold. It almost hurts. This is just the beginning. Once the suboxone withdrawal kicks in I'll be too bad to even pick up this phone. That's one WD I never fully made it through. I didn't even tell my pdoc about that one yesterday. But I figure now that I don't have a job I mine as well get this over with. I have Tylenol 4s for when I can't take it anymore. I've been saving those puppies for this for a loooong time now. I stopped crying for now. Thank god.

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

This sounds like a scary experience. And maybe dangerous? I don't know. I would have said no I don't want to cold turkey everything at once! Maybe just the things you were abusing? Or not even those.

I want to give you a hug. I'm sorry this situation is so awful.

Has your doctor's office called you back?

No I called at 8pm so I probably won't get a call back till tomorrow. I've been trying to sleep through the days so I'll probably get a voice msg saying go to the hospital! I just want to scream "but I got the meds right here damnit!" This is frustrating as hell when my bottles are right next to me. The risperdal always helped with withdrawal too but nope can't touch that either. Just seroquel!

Detoxing at home from all psych meds at the moment because of self admitted abuse. Doctors orders and then new cocktail. Just being honest.

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

Idk if it were me I think I'd be honest with my pdoc about the suboxone and everything. I think if you go ip they will help you get off everything safely. I just couldn't imagine going off all meds cold turkey. I think they will help you. I really do.

This. I totally agree with this. No judgments - I have had my own issues with substance abuse. I know you complain about the hard beds IP, but they can give you meds IP that will make the detox more comfortable, especially if they know about the suboxone - you'll be more comfortable than trying to tough it out in your own comfy bed.