Leave me alone; don't leave me

I try to leave my SO bc my head says No, but my heart is so much stronger, then I say Yes. I have broken up with this person 9 times and gotten back together. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have a history of failed relationships. My moods shift like I'm floating in a different sea everyday. So I'm a different person everyday. I don't know what God's will is for me and I'm a wreck.

You may want to bring up BPD with a doctor and see if that fits you. (Borderline personality disorder) the symptoms you describe sounds very much like that and not like Bipolar at all honestly

Sent from my A463BG using Tapatalk

I agree. However, there is a decent amount of overlap btw bp and bpd.

Are you medicated?.

Yeah, maybe Bpd but I've been dxed by 6 different pdocs as having bp1. I'm switching meds again and have been unstable for about six months. I am medicated but it's not working. Everyday is a new mood, a new person. Don't bpd's cut? I only cut when I'm trying to sui but my sui attempts have been for attention. I didn't really want to die.

Not all BPD's cut, it's common though. Doing risky things for attention is definitely one of the symptoms. I would see about getting a second opinion from an entirely different doctor who doesn't know you. Tell him/her everything you have been experiencing and that meds aren't helping. A lot of times doctors just go a long with a previous doctors diagnosing without investigating further and it's misdiagnosed often too. If BPD is the issue that could explain the medicine not really helping, DBT (a form of therapy) is needed

^^^ Exactly what I would say.

I've been researching bpd and it's so like me it's scary. Thanks for helping. Maybe I've been mis-dxed. all these years. This might be true. Maybe this is what is wrong and dbt is the solution, whatever dbt is. This is mind blowing. Thank you

DBT, dialectal behavior therapy. I've heard it's helpful for people with all kinds of problems not just BPD. But yeah switching everyday and unstable relationships especially the leave me don't leave me stuff is signs of BPD. That doesn't mean you don't have BP, like one poster said they can overlap.

I'm doing my second round of DBT now, and it has really improved my interpersonal relationships.


Having a duel dx is quite common, and they can fuel each other... Which is why both needs to be addressed, separately.


Now when I'm going through a bipolar episode, I can at least separate and deal with the bpd individually, so that my head is not an emotional shitstorm, as it actually provides a good amount of relief to be able to untangle the two.

I have BPD too and it's definitely effected many, if not all of my relationships. I'd know in my head that I was in the wrong relationship but my codependency would keep me in a sick cycle of self loathing and self blame. I'm quick to believe others when they point their finger at me in a fight. I take all the blame and hide to lick my wounds. I'm actually in this mess right now...again! But I'm working on my mental health right now and I want to be stable before I do jump the gun here. We both have a lot invested and had big hopes and plans from the start. I want to know I'm making the right decision when it does come down to it.

You may get lots of help in the "relationships and communication" section here as well! That's often where i vent all my issues with this.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks everyone, I've decided bpd is what has been wrong with me all my life and I'm going off bp meds. I'm not going to tell the dr bc he's out of it anyway. I can't believe I've been treated for bp for 15 years and no one saw it. Well actually, one Dr saw it ten years ago along with bp but it was never mentioned again, I didn't even know what it was. Didn't take the latuda or trileptal last night. Going to try and take it down slow but I'm so excited to get off them I just want to quit cold turkey. Decided to get another dr opinion but can't get it until July. Thanks everyone here for seeing between the lindes

Like many others have (and I and others have in similar threads), it is not unlikely and probably very likely, certainly in your case, that you have both BP and borderline traits.

If you take the right meds, it may help you to lay the personality part bare, so that you can develop it into something that doesn't interfere, or maybe/probably even help, with your functioning.

If you don't it might be too much of a mess to untangle and severe mood changes will lead you to suppress your personality, which will make it only worse if impulsivity trumps suppression (which it will). As Trippin2.0 said, a borderline personality highly interacts with BP.

BP-I is not at all unlikely (actually very likely) together a borderline personality, especially with (very) dense mood cycles. It is the changeable anxiety that causes erratic mood swings and these in turn cause borderline anxiety, expression and again anxiety. Highly cyclic, positive (and negative) feedback loops.

And the way you treat the relationship with your psychiatrist and that you stop using meds might very well be exactly (part of) the problem you need to deal with. You'll probably only damage yourself (which is exactly, subconsciously, the point).

I appreciate your input, thanks Icare. Sorry can't write more but feeling overwhelmed by all of this. Thanks for caring.

zijax, I hope things look up for you soon. I remember my pdoc reminding me that "relationships" are a two-way street ( I was going through a hard divorce and my pdoc thought I was putting too much blame on myself).

Be careful dropping your meds. Are you on any benzos? Cold turkey from benzos can be dangerous.

Keep us posted. xo

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk