Questions: Bipolar version

Zyprexa. It was like taking water.

Has any med been outstanding in helping you?

I just take natural supplements right now - Vit D and EmpowerPlus (multi-vit developed to assist with bipolar and other MI symptoms). They've helped smooth out the ride for most of my daily symptoms; they certainly don't remove the highs or lows. The worst parts of my episodes seem to be shorter taking these supplements, though, and I notice a marked deterioration of my mental state if I forget them for several days. So I take them for now, until such time as my symptoms are not bearable with this regimen. I may eventually end up with pharmaceuticals again, but for now this is tolerable (way more so than on other RXs I've had in the past).

Do you notice a continual decline in your mental well being over time (i.e., progression of BP), or do you feel like you experience pretty much the same level of symptoms over time, taking into consideration the 'normal' ups & downs of BP?

(If that's not clear, I'm trying to get at whether you feel your BP is getting 'worse' over time/as you get older...)

Mine has worsened as I got older in some ways and other ways not. Menopause helped with some of the lesser cycling. But I am just now feeling really improved after 2 years of absolute hell. So it goes both ways. It's hard to describe somehow.

Do you experience bipolar as distinct episodes or a more continuous issue?

I've never had a notable period of remission, if that's what you mean.

What's your predominate mood state if you have an episode

Depression
Do you have daily mantra or something you tell yourself to help you stay positive

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"The best way out is through". Not sure if that's considered positive, but it helps for me.

Outside of a pdoc/therapist/SO who/what do you have as a support system for help when you need it during rough times?

I follow a few blogs written by people with bipolar and I consider that to be my other "support network", even though I don't interact with the author. I have found it endlessly comforting to hear about the lives of others with bipolar, and there always seems to be someone who is in a similar mood episode to me that I can relate to.

I feel like I need to ignore how hard it is for me to get by day to day so that I can meet expectations of others. How do you take care of yourself when others expect you to be able to do more than you can cope with?

welcome lost alex.

it is nice to meet you!.

i just do what i know i can manage.. nothing more, nothing less. if people don't like it, then they can deal with it later (or do it themselves)

how often (if at all) do you use a mood chart?

Every day

Question: How has CBT helped you with your confidence?

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I don't think CBT necessarily has helped my confidence. I know we've done some CBT but it's not the therapy of choice for me.

Do you do one kind of therapy (CBT, DBT, ACT, etc) or does your therapist mix and match?

My psychologist mixes it up. There needs to be flexibility in treatment because different things work for different people. I have found CBT of limited use, but ACT has been very useful when I've been unwell. For me it's like it goes back to the fundamentals and non-negotiables of who I am as a person... Its hard to explain...

I feel like no one sees how hard I work just to get by. Have you ever really been able to make someone understand that?

I think my pdoc understands this. We have worked together for almost 20 years.

How many therapists have you treated with and is your current therapist helpful?

I have seen around 20 different counsellors or therapists(including pastors for counselling) and most were hopeless. My current T I have been seeing for over 6 years and he is amazing. We work well together.

What's your worst T experience?

T told me I'd end up dead in a dich or on welfare with 7 kids if I didn't keep seeing her. That was the last time I saw her, I was 14.

How involved in treatment is your family?

Not at all they know I see a Psychiatrist, Community Worker and a Community Psych Nurse other than that I keep it all hush hush. They know nothing of me being off meds like a 100 times, going to Drama Therapy, self harming, suicidal thoughts and actions, going to confidence classes with a Clinical Psychologist running it or the fact I have a Peer Support Worker who I see weekly. I don't think they would understand or would be too understanding (overly wanting to know the in's and out's of my life)

Question: If your BP 1 have your manic tendencies subsided since being stable on meds and if so do you miss the high's?

Improved not stabilized. I do not miss the highs and they are always dysphoric and horrible.

Do crafts/coloring/art therapy help you?

Most of the time it helps. If I'm severely depressed or mixed I don't have the focus

If you wrote an autobiography about your bipolar what would you title it?

Interesting question!
I would call it "Mixed" because I spend ALL of my symptomatic time mixed with some hypomanic and some depressive aspects.

Age at diagnosis, and current full diagnosis?

26
Bipolar I, mixed, severe, rapid cycling
PTSD
GAD
OCD kind of (probably pure O)

Has your diagnosis changed with different providers?

I've only had one t and she started with mdd to bipolar.

What do you wish to accomplish by the end of the month?

I want to start an exercise plan as part of a total health kick.

What is the first thing you neglect when depression hits?

Showering

Do you journal?

I used to but got away from it when I was so bad last winter. I need to start again though.

Do other people in your family have bipolar?

I try to haven't done it in a while.

What was your lunch?

My dad's mother has bipolar. I think my dad might have had it too but he was not diagnosed.

Do you focus on one thing when you're hypo/manic?