Questions: Bipolar version

It felt like add. I was all over the place.

What made you seek treatment prior to being diagnosed with any mental illness?

Threat of a divorce.

What were you dx with before bipolar?

The worst way -- I can't hold down a job.

Major depression disorder.

How many books have you read about self help or mental illness? Which one was most helpful?

A bunch. The most helpful were An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison and The Quiet Room by Lori Schiller (that one helped a lot with going on clozaril--when she did it it was super scary and now it is nothing compared to what she had to do).

Is there a med you fear beyond all others?

I've been on meds with some nasty side effects, but for me it's Lithium. I've never been on it, but I get this imagery of it being like taking a heavy metal The idea that you have to get frequent blood tests scares me that something could go wrong so easily.

Do you have days, out of nowhere, when your mind is so disorganised and scattered that you can't seem to get anything done? I find it extremely frustrating and unpredictable. Would you consider it a short BP episode?

Lithium isn't so bad. Really. The blood tests are just precautions, nothing dire.

Yes, I have those days. I don't really have times I'm not cycling somewhat so I can't say that it is a short episode; I have trouble defining a single episode ever.

Do you follow a strict routine or are you more flexible?

I'm more flexible.

What brings you the most joy?

The happiness of my children.

Is beach volleyball really a sport?

I dunno but women's volleyball in the Olympic has me glued to the tv lol.

How many t sessions do you think are useless? I mean for 1 out of every 5 I feel we hit a major point. The other four are blah blah blah.

I get something out of most of them. We have times that we just chat about nothing important but I need to practice social skills and sometimes I'm just bursting to interact with someone besides my mother so those are good sessions too. Right now I'm getting used to not having huge issues going on every single week which is nice but I think we spend a lot of time confirming that yes, I'm doing a lot better. But I'll listen to that as long as anyone wants to share.

How long have you seen your therapist?

I'm in between therapists right now.

how many therapists have you had?

This new one about a year and a half. She's ok. She seems intimidated by me tho, lol. But I do like her.

What's your favorite kind of music?

Christian.

How many therapists have you had? (question stolen )

I've had a lot bc of the clinics I go to. The best therapist I had was through the college. She was awesome!

What's your favorite kind of music?

Christian music.

Have you ever continued a relationship with a therapist after termination?

Rock. Ac/dc!!!!!!

What is one thing you wish you tell your t, that you haven't behavioral wise.

He thinks I have a form of OCD but doesn't diagnose it because I have never admitted to him that I have compulsions. I don't know why I don't want to share that.

Have you ever continued a relationship with a therapist after termination?

Tried to with the one from college, but I kept treating her like a therapist and not a friend so it didn't work.

What's your favorite Olympic sport?

Figure skating! I'm way too invested in it. Like pay attention year round, even when they aren't competing.

What is the first sign you are going up that you see yourself?

The first sign that I am going "up" is that my motivation increases.

Who inspires you the most when it comes to overcoming/coping with the challenges of having BP?

The people that inspire me the most to keep going and keep fighting actually don't have bipolar.
My mom, my husband, my therapist, and my grandma

My mom and my therapist (and some of the other people close to me, like my husband, my sister, my uncle, a couple friends) are the people who know how DANG hard I work and tell me I'm doing a great job even if there's no visible improvement and bipolar still totally rules my life. It bolsters me when my mom and my therapist verbally acknowledge that I work DANG hard and they know how hard I'm fighting and they think it's amazing. It makes me feel less hopeless, so then I have the hope to keep trying.

My grandma had a vision of sorts a long time ago that left her believing that I'm amazing and my spirit is really strong. Though a lot of people might scoff at that, I believe her and I draw significant strength from her belief in how strong I am.

Are you 100% open with your therapist?

Yes

Do you like your pdoc?

At the clinic I go to they can't hang on to Pdocs but I've liked those I've had Where I'm moving next month...no idea

Does current events affect your mood?

If it's pertaining to my financial situation, yes. For instance, XtrumpX.

Uplifting dessert?.