Questions: Bipolar version

I usually wake up once around 2-3 am and then just stay up after falling asleep at 1am when i'm hypo. when i'm depressed, i sleep through the night.

how did you first know you were bipolar?

When the Psychiatrist told me my symptoms and read what my GP had written in her report on me and why she thinks I have Bipolar.

How do you handle strong emotions like rage and anger and if it's towards yourself how do you cope? What do you do?

isolate myself, lock the door, and either listen to loud music, or, more often than not, give in to what ever it is
describe, in 1 word, your current frame of mind

Disillusioned.

What's one of your first symptoms of a hypo/manic episode that you notice?

my leg shakes. and it won't stop. and then i start feeling like i wanna crawl out of my own skin.

Have you noticed any triggers that send you into a hypo/manic episode? Or is it random?

It's pretty random

How long does your hypo/mania typically last?

Anywhere from an hour to a month.

How old were you when you were diagnosed?

I was 23 when I was first diagnosed.

What's the best complement you have ever received?

My therapist said I'm the most courageous person he's ever known. It took a while to accept that compliment but it means a LOT.

How long are your therapy appointments? Does your therapist stick to the 45 minute hour or not?

I see next week it's my first "real" appointment but I think 50 min.

How often do you see your pdoc?

I currently see mine on a monthly basis.

If you could meet someone famous, dead or alive, who would it be?

walt disney
do you think, in general, your life has met your expectations

... I think that life has met my expectations for the most part. I don't think I have come anywhere close to meeting my expectations of myself.

If you could live absolutely anywhere in the world, where would it be, and why?

I haven't seen enough of it to definitively say, but maybe Costa Rica? Because ocean, healthy food and jungle!!!

What do you do beyond medicine and therapy to help with your disorder?

I have a lot of sensory things I do to help with calming. Weighted blanket, essential oils, noise blockers, etc.

How many hours does it take you to get to sleep?

I'm usually on my computer at night, until I can hardly keep my eyes open. Then, I pass out. I'm on Seroquel as a PM medication (not the extended release), so usually it starts to hit me after an hour or two. Sometimes I take Klonopin too with Seroquel if the agitation is interfering.....so I'd say 1-3 hours on average it takes to sleep once taking my PM meds.

What's one bad habit you need to give up in order to help yourself say well mentally?

Being a couch potato. I really shouldn't be this lazy.

How long have you been battling this illness? And did you have a different diagnosis first?

14 years and one day . Before I was diagnosed with PTSD, GAD and MDD.

Do you get irrationally anxious about silly things?

Absolutely. If our anxiety were rational, it wouldn't be a disorder. Inherent in any disorder is the fact that it doesn't match reality. If our feelings were justified by reality, then there wouldn't be a problem and we wouldn't have a disorder.

A couple of the things I am the most obsessive about our having tons of food in the house, charting my moods, and having advance notice when there will be other people around. When those don't happen, I get really anxious.

I liked your question, gina_re.
How long have you been battling this illness?

12 years.

but i think probably all my life if truth be told. i was never stable, or normal, or happy..

have you ever been released from the hospital and thought it's too soon, i can't be released yet- i don't feel safe?

(i wanted to post another thread about this but ta-da!. i found this thread i've been looking for since saturday!)

No. My hospital is pretty good at keeping you until you feel safe. Last summer I got to a weekend and didn't want to stay for it but still could benefit from the safe place. But the reality was, per the pdoc, that I was not going to feel great for a few weeks. He left it up to me if I went or stayed, either was fine. He just told me to be honest and come back over the weekend or whenever if I felt I'd left too soon. So I kind of had a contingency plan and so I left. In retrospect I should have stayed and waited out the boring weekend days just to have the extra days to rest and be quiet and work on recovering some more.

Do you unconsciously or consciously fight sleep?

Both. Often my head just spins and spins and spins so I can't sleep or I wake up suuuuper early with all the energy in the world.
Times I consciously fight sleep would be when I'm having horrible nightmares repeatedly and when I'm convinced that I'm a master of the universe and time is the key to control.

What do you do to keep a steady rhythm in your life?

I always have a regular schedule, except for holidays. I use google calendar intensely, including color-coded calendars and events. That means I always know what to expect.

Therapy keeps me steady, too. It's like my reset every week. I know that every week I'll be back there for an hour again with someone to help me.

Do you notice any foods making a difference in how you feel bipolar-wise?

Sugar ruins me. I get so wound up.

Do you have any additional diagnosis

GAD it's pretty bad and I hate it!

Do you think some other diagnosis are just a part of bipolar such as GAD for instance!