[bizi]

I really need to get to bed.
nite nite
bizi

i'm feeling angry and frustrated

1 of my best cds overheated yesterday and snapped down the middle right in my hand. okay, so i was able to order a replacement (not that i could really aford it at the moment), but it's a hole in my collection

hoping the weather is cooler today. yesterday was hot. on the positive side though i'm having some of my cooling spray delivered today

yay for having 2 bottles (well 1 full bottle and 1 half)

[John Primo78]

I am with you i hope the weather is much cooler today, in the northeast we have been putting up with one heat wave after another, it sucks and i seem to do worse mentally in this type of weather

the new bottle of summer cooling spray just arived.
yay!

[fishin fool]

A little down but hanging in there

Doing ok, but still depressed.

Earlier today I was pissed off that I paid $60 for a really nice pair of noise-cancelling earphones that kept falling out of my ears. (I have small ears.) I got so mad that I almost smashed them to bits because they fell out every time I put them in! Then I realized they were labeled backwards! Right is left and left is right. Holy s***.

[Coconutzo]

I had to take 6 Ativan to sleep last night.
I still kept waking up with spinning horrible thoughts. Anxiety. Now I'm a pill zombie

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[Coconutzo]

I'm having a severe out of body experience

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[Coffeee]

Struggling to get out of bed today, too many thoughts and not enough responsibilities to make me get out.

[Coffeee]

Originally Posted by Coconutzo

I'm having a severe out of body experience

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That sounds terrifying!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Coconutzo

I'm having a severe out of body experience

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Do you get these often, what brings you back?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Coconutzo]

Originally Posted by bizi

Do you get these often, what brings you back?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I get milder ones more often usually when I'm depressed. Right now I'm in more of a mixed place. I've had anxiety focused racing thoughts, but I'm sort of glued in one place. When I move or type or breathe heavy I get startled by sensation because I've been watching my body and my thoughts. Everything feels suspended in time. When I think about time and recent events nothing makes sense and I get confused.
I took a bath to try and get home to myself but I lost sense of my limbs.
Now I'm laying here in space

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[bizi]

Originally Posted by Coconutzo

I get milder ones more often usually when I'm depressed. Right now I'm in more of a mixed place. I've had anxiety focused racing thoughts, but I'm sort of glued in one place. When I move or type or breathe heavy I get startled by sensation because I've been watching my body and my thoughts. Everything feels suspended in time. When I think about time and recent events nothing makes sense and I get confused.
I took a bath to try and get home to myself but I lost sense of my limbs.
Now I'm laying here in space

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You poor woman! sorry you are feeling this way.
bizi

[Standup2me]

Life is life is life is life is life and life is hell.
But it gets better??? Right???
Promise????

[OctobersBlackRose]

Been sleeping off and on all day, same with crying, and eating. Felt something touch my head early this morning while I was crying, made me cry harder cause I could've swore it was my Grandpa, been seeing his shadow all over the place in my house just haven't told anyone what I've been seeing, since I don't want to admit to it being a hallucination, I want it to be my Grandpa... Right now listening to music to take my mind off things. It does feel like there is an energy gone from my house (since I live with my grandparents), it just doesn't feel right. Hell none of this feels real, I feel like he's going to be home soon, but that isn't the case. It feels like I'm in a movie, from the outside of everything looking in...

[bizi]

I am sorry.
((((((HUGS))))))
be kind to yourself, you are grieving.
bizi

[Wander]

Originally Posted by OctobersBlackRose

Been sleeping off and on all day, same with crying, and eating. Felt something touch my head early this morning while I was crying, made me cry harder cause I could've swore it was my Grandpa, been seeing his shadow all over the place in my house just haven't told anyone what I've been seeing, since I don't want to admit to it being a hallucination, I want it to be my Grandpa... Right now listening to music to take my mind off things. It does feel like there is an energy gone from my house (since I live with my grandparents), it just doesn't feel right. Hell none of this feels real, I feel like he's going to be home soon, but that isn't the case. It feels like I'm in a movie, from the outside of everything looking in...

When grieving the loss of someone it is common to think you see them around the place, and feel them touching you. Especially if you are in the same house. I doubt it is a genuine hallucination. It is perfectly normal. Be gentle on yourself. Sending you love and hugs.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry.
((((((HUGS))))))
be kind to yourself, you are grieving.
bizi

Thank you, I'm trying to be kind to myself, that's why I'mtrying to distract myself from certain emotions cause if I don't I'll try *Trigger* self harming again (I did last night) and I can't keep doing that to myself, my Grandpa wouldn't want me to, intact he'd probably be mad at me, understanding, but mad. So distraction time... (((Hugs))) to you too bizi, thanks for checking up on me with your comments.

[raspberrytorte]

Smoke and a cry. That's always sad.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by Wander

When grieving the loss of someone it is common to think you see them around the place, and feel them touching you. Especially if you are in the same house. I doubt it is a genuine hallucination. It is perfectly normal. Be gentle on yourself. Sending you love and hugs.

Thank you, this really helps to hear.

[Wild Coyote]

I am doing the two steps forward, one step back thing, aka the "cha-cha."
It's progress.

i am trying to find something to say about today but words fail me.

guess i am surviving

[Wander]

Been stable for three and a half weeks now. Such a relief after many months mixed. Still I am mentally shut down, low and grieving - recovering from a horror episode. Good news is my mind does seem to be improving slightly, ever so slightly but it is encouraging. Finding it difficult to do much though. I just want to hide in my flat and rest. Feel so fragile. I guess in time I will recover.

[Coconutzo]

I'm back in my head. I feel motivated, though my body aches with exhaustion.

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[Gabyunbound]

I took my cat in for an ultrasound because she's been having bouts of vomiting and diarrhea and she was found to have a very large tumor in her pancreas. I'm devastated. She also has intestinal issues and low B12 independent of the cancer. I'm taking her back in on Satuday to have a consult with the vet and get all of my questions answered and to get a B12 shot. I also need a tech to teach me how to give pills, because she's just been spitting them out, and she needs them as there's a chance they'll help her feel better.

It breaks my heart. I cried so much when I found out. I alternate between being devastated and heartbroken to being calm trying to figure out what will be best for her. I'm not going to do any surgical interventions, there's no point in putting her through that when there's no cure and she is and will be going downhill regardless.

Vet says she has weeks to around a month to live. I need to be vigilant to know when she's suffering too much and the time has come. I have some pain medication here to give her as needed.

Please pray for or send healing thoughts to Schnookie -that she suffers the least possible.