[OctobersBlackRose]

Finally got a few hours of GOOD sleep for this first time in almost 72hrs, yeah it was during the morning/afternoon/evening, but hey it's sleep, I'll take what I can get... Made some chicken salad for sandwiches, but I think I put way too much mayo in it, oh well I'll see in a bit when I make a sandwich. Did my diary card, and seeing over the past week I haven't felt any joy, idk, I have a psych appointment Monday, so I'll talk to my psychiatrist then, and see where to go from here with my meds.

[hopeless2015]

Went out with some friends last night and had a really good time. Weather was perfect for an outdoor event. Being lazy today

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[Unrigged64072835]

Did laundry and dishes, and worked another module in my project. Anxiety is kicking my butt, though. Had to stop and rest for an hour or two because I was so wound up. Pdoc upped one of my meds, but it has anxiety as a side effect so I wouldn't know if t'll make things worse. I have T tomorrow so will go over this with him again. It's not perfectionism, it's something else. Being overwhelmed, maybe? I don't know. At least I'm not depressed.

Having a meeting with daughter's boyfriend tomorrow. He's living with us after getting assaulted by his dad last year. He didn't do well in school this past term. He needs to get his rear in gear and that's what the meeting is about.

[Gabyunbound]

I'm still very down, low energy, feeling bad about myself, all, I had thought, for no apparent reason. Today I realized the reason and you can add pi**** off to the above list. I have been titrating down Seroquel -with pdoc's approval, though I've been insistent- which had been increased when I had a depressive episode a few months ago.

Whenever I titrate down that med I relapse. Just about every. single. time. If I had been hypomanic, I relapse into that, depression, relapse into that, even if the titration is very slow, which it always had been.

So I'm increasing it to the old dose starting tonight and will continue on it (I think) until I next see my pdoc in a month. I'm so so pissed and sad. I'm sick and tired of meds, meds which in and of themselves can lead to episodes!

I pushed through before to get it to a very low dose pre-previous-depression and hope to once again, with the guidance of my pdoc; in this particular case I don't feel comfortable doing anything else on my own except going back up to the previous dose. I hope we can figure out a way for me to push through a titration again without me relapsing. I. Hate. This.

[Victoria'smom]

I cooked and ate 2x today, slept 12 hrs and am not tired at all despite the fact I have to be up tomorrow morning.

[OctobersBlackRose]

My body was finally tired enough that I got more than 4hrs of sleep in the few days, went on about 5 days with 8-10hrs of sleep total, now yesterday I got about 6-10hrs of sleep thankfully, but it was all in the late morning, afternoon, and evening, woke up around 8pm, so now gotta try and get more sleep, and it's already after midnight. I still think I'm in an agitated depression (my personal opinion/observation), it'd explain the energy, but the not wanting to get out of bed, the impulse to buy things, and the irritability/agitation, and some psychotic symptoms even though my meds should be stopping that. But I'll let my psychiatrist know what's been going on with me ad see what she thinks at my appointment... Hopefully she didn't threaten to have me hospitalized... Also I did put a little too much mayo in the can chicken salad I made for sandwiches, it was still good though.

[bizi]

watched a good movie tonight with friends, called the intern.
just snacked on some almonds.
yum
bizi

[Pikku Myy]

Hmnnnn. Here

Had a good day. Went out to dinner with my sister. It was really good. Then went and got some new blouses. My other nice ones fell apart in the washing machine. That sucked. But I have 3 New nice ones. Was a good day.

i got a bit of a nasty shock today when trying to order something online.

found out that my card had expired

spent the morning trying to order a new card (and with my banks level of customer service, you may as well bang your head against a brick wall)

think they have it sorted now though, i'm going to hopefully start reading the john cleese autobiography this afternoon

[Coconutzo]

Sitting in my reading chair with my head reeling. I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know where to begin.

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[Unrigged64072835]

Waiting for daughter's boyfriend's mother to show up. We're all going to sit down and have a nice little chat with the boy. While I hardly doubt we'll knock some sense into him, I hope he realizes how he screwed up by not completing his class assignments and thus failing the class. This is college; they don't try and pass you like they did in high school. This is going to impact how long he stays here. If he keeps this up he won't be here for long.

Otherwise a quiet day. Went to T and talked about my anxiety, which made me anxious (ha). He mentioned meditation and progressive relaxation, plus my DBT skills. Will have to work on this because it's a real pain to be a ball of nerves every day.

[hopeless2015]

Down today, I've slept most of today. I wish I would quit bouncing back and forth. I think we may need to up the Lamictal

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I had a good day cooking low-sodium. I rarely cook so this was a victory for me. I did the dishes three times as well -- also unusual. Hopefully i can get off my blood-pressure meds eventually.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by apfei

I had a good day cooking low-sodium. I rarely cook so this was a victory for me. I did the dishes three times as well -- also unusual. Hopefully i can get off my blood-pressure meds eventually.

I am happy for you jane!
bizi

[Standup2me]

Another Monday that I called in sick
I wonder when I will be fired?
I want to move somewhere there no people
People are too loud

[OctobersBlackRose]

Didn't get much sleep again last night, had my psych appointment, we're taking me off Abilify cause we think it is contributing to my insomnia, plus I did the gene test and it doesn't matabalize in my body very well (20mg will work like 10mg) and doing very little for the depression, and instead we're putting me on Geodon (which according to the gene test results is one of the top APs that matabalize well in my body), haven't been on that since middle school, welp I'll see how it works for me when I get my prescriptions sometime this week, insurance has delayed them f**k... Now listen to music and laying down after waking up from a nap earlier, wonder when and if I'll get back to sleep tonight.

[bizi]

sorry for your sleeping issues, awful....

I counted over 50 mosquito bite on my legs from working in the yard this weekend!
luckily only a few itch...
bizi

Originally Posted by bizi

sorry for your sleeping issues, awful....

I counted over 50 mosquito bite on my legs from working in the yard this weekend!
luckily only a few itch...
bizi

Sorry to hear that!

Have you thought about putting band-aids over the itchy ones? Those bites usually itch when they rub against something, and the band-aid prevents that because it's covering the bites.

Well, that's what I do. It also doesn't prevent those bites from healing. The bites heal even with band-aids on them

it is pizza day today.

actually think i deserve this more this week as i've been really trying with my eating (not overeating)

[lacerta]

I'm fluctuating between normal and elevated. Took benzo pill in the morning to keep myself calm. Have been able to work. My back hurts, it happens when I'm too tense. Need to schedule time for exercise to stretch it out.

[Wander]

Been back at university three weeks. The workload is intense and combined with my usual paid work I am very busy. I like being busy but the stress is getting to me. My mind and body are really fragile from being so unwell for so long. Today I drank more alcohol than I have in months and I bought smokes (again which I had been off for months). The stress is getting to me. My mood is low but irritable but I don't think I am depressed. I am also very anxious. Just hoping this will pass as I get used to the workload.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Wander

Been back at university three weeks. The workload is intense and combined with my usual paid work I am very busy. I like being busy but the stress is getting to me. My mind and body are really fragile from being so unwell for so long. Today I drank more alcohol than I have in months and I bought smokes (again which I had been off for months). The stress is getting to me. My mood is low but irritable but I don't think I am depressed. I am also very anxious. Just hoping this will pass as I get used to the workload.

Could you maybe think about working in some exercise to help with your stress? A brisk half an hour walk could do wonders for you.
WE are rooting for you.
((((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Wander]

Originally Posted by bizi

Could you maybe think about working in some exercise to help with your stress? A brisk half an hour walk could do wonders for you.
WE are rooting for you.
((((((HUGS))))
bizi

Good idea. I was thinking about walking today but it was raining. Definitely need to start back up. I'm just so tired when I have free time. Thanks for motivating me though. I have a free hour tomorrow and I think the rain is clearing. Hopefully I will go for that walk

Threw up yesterday on my way back from Europe. Feeling better now, but exhausted after 22 hours of straight travel

Was mixed at the beginning of my trip, but mixed no longer.