[scatterbrained04]

I think my blood pressure is back to manageable levels after a couple days out of the office LOL Fairly caught up on work now. Kicking myself for never deleting my work emails when I'm done with them. Seriously took me like 6+ hours in the last few days to go through over 1000 emails. Kind of exhausted and dreading having to take my son to an open gym tonight.

[Unrigged64072835]

Ran a few errands today so I wasn't too anxious. Not sure what to do this weekend. Hopefully get out and see something.

[Nammu]

Mood wise doing fine, physically...not so great. My back has been acting up and moving hurts.

[bizi]

sorry about your back nammu.
does ice or heat help?
bizi

[Coconutzo]

The struggle is real. My moods are everywhere. My behavior is obnoxious though not quite bizarre. I'm elated or cranky. I'd like to will myself into the clouds. My extra motivation is coming in handy, but gosh dang I should stop shopping and masturbating.
Indulgent child!!!

[dangerousanimals]

Didn't check in with doctors. Went to the liquor store today...pretty sure I wasn't supposed to do that. Painting.

[Gabyunbound]

Took my Schnookie (kitty) to the vet and she's doing very well despite her tumor. She also has thyroid and heart problems, for which she takes meds, and they seem to be helping her. It just makes me so happy that she's doing so well, she's behaving like a normal cat and her appetite is back!

Also, my terrible anxiety surrounding work has, after a good year, gone down and now I'm even able to enjoy myself sometimes instead of so often being in a state of terror. At least this is how I've felt this last week, I hope it lasts.

So, all and all, I'm very fortunate right now, I'm stable mood-wise, and good things, or at least not-bad-things, are happening.

[Crazy Hitch]

Feeling good. Had a heart to heart honest conversation with my bf

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Coconutzo

The struggle is real. My moods are everywhere. My behavior is obnoxious though not quite bizarre. I'm elated or cranky. I'd like to will myself into the clouds. My extra motivation is coming in handy, but gosh dang I should stop shopping.......
Indulgent child!!!

This sounds like mania.
Have you spoken with your therapist or pdoc?
sorry you are having a rough time.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[hopeless2015]

Up and had a coffee, working on some cleaning...hope to make progress there today. Glad it's Saturday. Hugs to all and have a good weekend!

[Coconutzo]

Thank bizi!
I tweaked my meds. I still didn't sleep well last night but here's to calming!

I've noticed that goal oriented activity is pretty triggering for me. Funny. The busier I am, the busier I want to be. Example: I've worked thirty six hours in the last three days, worked out all days, went out drinking two. Spent my nights on and off sleeping and making plans. Today I work ten hours. It's early. I've been up for hours drivin aroun in my car with the moon roof open and the bass up. Thinkin about making money and doing things that I know are stupid. At least I know they are stupid. I'll take more sleep meds tonight. Hot dam, the bipolar brain is fascinating!

[OctobersBlackRose]

Went bowling with my sister last night, it was fun, and nice to get out of the house for a couple of hours. Can't bowl worth s***, but it was fun. Right now just laying in bed, lurking around here,xwatching TV, a lazy Saturday.

[p00dlez]

My 2nd oldest informed me that he is going skydiving sometime next week. I tried to talk him out of it but he wont listen. I guess I bugged him too much about it because now he wont even tell me what day he is going. He said he don't want me freaking out that day.

Everyone keeps telling me its safe but I am so afraid something will go wrong. He's always been a wild child and I have the grey hair to show for it. I noticed I have started twisting my hair again to deal with the stress. I wish he would just hurry up and grow out of stuff like this.

[Unrigged64072835]

Quiet day today. Still had midday anxiety. May need a Vistaril to knock it down. Made a good dinner of cashew chicken. Spending time with my husband and waiting for my daughter to get off work.

[Icare dixit]

Instability. I think I prefer it.

[bioChE]

Productive day, did a lot of yard work. Been really busy lately, so I think I'm pretty stable. Glad to keep my mind on other things.

[dangerousanimals]

Have a cold/flu or something, but my brain is still trying to be kinda manic. So I have huge bursts of goal oriented activity, and then drastic nap time....then awake and busy again.

yesterday i found a website that lists all the theme parks in orlando, and when you click on them they display the wait times by each of the attractions- and for those of you who know, I am obsessed with reading wait times around the world. just watching it at diffrent times of the day- so i spent 2 hours of my day yesterday, 2, watching the feed for universal studios (obsessed much?). I never even plan to go to florida or any theme park for that matter.

anyway later i found you could register at the site and talk to other fans of florida theme parks, so guess what i did?

yes, I did. i registered at the site and i all ready posted 3 times.

no sleep yesterday. ended up watching some commedy sketch show (not that good), then overeating (yes, overeating)

today feeling frustrated at the internet, and at the fact the site i use to check queue times for spain and denmark is down (bet you the bill on the site's not been payed)

so i'm going to cook my roast today, that's about it

[gina_re]

Two days in a row spending time with my nephews.
Now I need to work on cleaning this mess of a house that I've neglected. We'll see how much progress I make because I'm ready to go back to sleep.
Trying to control this anxiety. Vistaril seems to work better than Atarax, which seems to do absolutely nothing. Can't wait for this lamictal taper is done so I can see if buspar works.
I continue to overeat in the meantime.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by p00dlez

My 2nd oldest informed me that he is going skydiving sometime next week. I tried to talk him out of it but he wont listen. I guess I bugged him too much about it because now he wont even tell me what day he is going. He said he don't want me freaking out that day.

Everyone keeps telling me its safe but I am so afraid something will go wrong. He's always been a wild child and I have the grey hair to show for it. I noticed I have started twisting my hair again to deal with the stress. I wish he would just hurry up and grow out of stuff like this.

I've been skydiving. It was an amazing experience!! But your concerns are valid.

[Gs550]

Still in this - I'm not entirely sure what - state of mind. Yesterday I didn't have racing thoughts or grandiose ideas, but was reasonably productive. Except for an hour or two I couldn't stop fidgeting. I put on music while cleaning and I was dancing doing the dishes.

I'm sick of sitting in my apartment and I overslept and missed an opportunity to socialize this morning. I guess I didn't really want to go all that much because I could have gone and just been late.

Tomorrow I have a pdoc appointment and a job interview. My current/old job is having me work a final two weeks which is really helpful. I'm so sick of sitting around.

Continuing in weird headspace (high anxiety, low motivation, other). Did nothing but stay in jammies and bed, watching dvds all day. Oh, and a shower. Haven't been particularly depressed though.

Today I'm determined to get up and do some stuff.

We had a very troubling incident recently in our little complex. It leaves solemnity and a lot of questions in its wake.

Possible trigger:

It was apparently a felony domestic violence. The apartment's been abandoned, and eviction date having passed, inside had a number of troubling things... including a sui note by the victim. We'd kind of assumed she'd gotten to a safehouse after calling police, but now we really don't know, as what she said method-wise is not precluded. We had no idea there were problems.

It makes me very sad. I hope we can learn more, if only for closure. Meanwhile, all I can do is see how I can help in any way.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by gina_re

I've been skydiving. It was an amazing experience!! But your concerns are valid.

I've gone skydiving. Incredible experience. Incredibly safe.

[Coconutzo]

Innerzone, scary! Hope you can stay calm in that chaos!

I crashed so hard last night. All of my thoughts spilled out of my head and I couldnt will myself move or eat. I just laid in a pile in the dark. I got so anxious because of the nothing that I felt like I couldn't breathe. Woof. I made it through, slept twelve hours and now we continue with our regularly scheduled programming.

Side note: The nothing. Is anyone else insanely triggered by the movie "never ending story" where "the nothing" is slowly closing in on a beautiful world. The whole movie is a race to stop it. It's very clearly a metaphor for depression and it hits me SO EFFING HARD.

when i went to have my roast today i realised that i don't actually have any batters left.

Should have thought about that on wednesday when i do my grocery shop.. oh well, i'll deffenetely get some next week

though i got to have lamb and potatoes (even some mint sauce), it's not really the same without the beloved batters