[gina_re]

I have a good day and bad days all in one, pretty much everyday. I felt depressed this morning so I decided to take a nap. I woke up from my nap in a great mood and went outside and did some yard work. But now I feel somewhat flat. And the irritibility and anxiety over the same period, my goodness!! Can't wait til this drug is all the way out of my system...

Years of research and reflection on this disease has culminated in a single question:

Why me?

I mean, WTF?

It sucks. I feel that lately, I get more mixed than depressed.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Years of research and reflection on this disease has culminated in a single question:

Why me?

I mean, WTF?

I hear you.

[p00dlez]

I think I am getting chickens today but dealing with this person has been hard because they are acting flakier than a buttermilk biscuit. 3 days of dealing with them and no chickens yet.

So today if they have another excuse for why I cant get the chickens I am going to tell them I no longer want them and find someone else to buy from. They have pretty much ruined the experience as this was supposed to be fun for me.

We did clean out the chicken house and do some repairs to it so I am ready for them. I am going to be retro fitting the whole thing soon and making it better. Still its not bad considering it was free.

We got most of it from a old barn that was hit by a tornado and had collapsed. The guy that owned the barn was just wanting rid of it so we got enough materials to make a chicken house. I like to recycle things because they have a history and a story.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Went to the place yesterday to see.if they had me on record for my neuro-psych testing wasn't the right one, but they did direct me.to the place that ended up being the right one, we were in the right building, but the place I went to moved, so we went to the new location and I was on record and being seen there, now all they have to do and hand pull my records out of their archive, and if there is no unpaid balance then we pick them up (with my luck there is an unpaid balance that I was never notified about). Idk how long I'll have to wait for my records to be ready, but I'm just glad we found the place.that had my records. Thank the universe!. Also went over to my Dads for dinner yesterday, and got a new good pillow, breaking it in is going to be a while, but eventually it'll get softer.

Waiting for dinner go get ready, and then eat, take my meds, and lay down. Got my DBT group, and individual therapy session tomorrow.

[Fuzzybear]

Listening to Dylan

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Years of research and reflection on this disease has culminated in a single question:

Why me?

I mean, WTF?

Oh my.....I went to therapy from Aug 2012-July 2013 just to "try" to deal with that question. When I'm going through mixed my mind brings it all back. Right when I "thought" I laid it to rest my racing thoughts center on that question. Then I start thinking about everything I lost to the condition. How tired I am of pdoc appts, meds and dealing with damn insurance companies..worrying about if I'd have the money to buy meds when I had no insurance. I now have Medicare but it's coming out my check and I'm responsible for 20%. Hang in there

[hopeless2015]

Stayed home sick today. I just feel like ****....I hope tomorrow is better

[Unrigged64072835]

Another quiet day. Looks like it's going to be the norm for a while. When I can concentrate, i work on learning how to make Web pages and sites. I don't know why I'm doing this other than to keep busy. I was still anxious and didn't take a nap. Made chicken and dumplings for dinner. A little hectic but it still went well.

I'm feeling really really hopeless

I am quite sad.

[p00dlez]

Feeling like someone has hacked my computer again. I don't know if anyone did or not but its just a feeling I have. Also feeling like people don't want me around (even here) and it gives me anxiety. I am not sure why I feel this way but I may have to take a break until I feel better.

Originally Posted by p00dlez

Feeling like someone has hacked my computer again. I don't know if anyone did or not but its just a feeling I have. Also feeling like people don't want me around (even here) and it gives me anxiety. I am not sure why I feel this way but I may have to take a break until I feel better.

Sounds like paranoia

I want you around here. I think you're a cool person with a nice personality.

But yeah, take care of yourself. Take as much time as you need until you feel better, although I think it might be worthwhile to talk to your therapist/pdoc about your paranoia.

[hopeless2015]

Feel much better today than yesterday. Work is stressful today but I'm managing to keep my cool and recognize that I can only do what I can do...I'm just one person

[OctobersBlackRose]

Went to my DBT group, and my individual therapy session, and then did a creative workshop where I painted pumpkin. Have some homework that I did, and some that I have to do that I'm nervous and frankly scared about doing, cause it means I have to confront people, obviously in a way that isn't threatening or attacking them, but I have to write letters to these two people about some stuff that they said. So idk when I'm going to do it, I'm kind of putting it off until I get fed up with myself and my anxiety over it and write the stupid letters. So that's what is going on with me today, other than that a little headache, and have my cat laying on my arm making it numb, he's thin but muscular for a cat. Still love hime though.

[Tucson]

Giving my mother a shower today. Haldol for her to the rescue. Perhaps not WW III this time with her. I have purchased a cheap computer which I will receive next Tuesday. My mother has been behaving herself, for the most part. Sanity is returning to myself.

Tucson

[Unrigged64072835]

Went to the park and took photos this morning. Haven't looked at them yet. Did some cleaning and a load of laundry. It was warm today so I was sweating a lot. I now have a headache but I don't know if it's dehydration or sinuses.

Made chicken enchiladas and cheese sauce for dinner. It was really good.

I've been hallucinating intermittently all day and I'm not sure why. I don't feel like I'm in an episode, though... or maybe an episode is just starting up?

My pdoc told me to take extra Seroquel until we talk again on Friday. Oh well. Not like I have many choices at this point. C'est la vie.

[gina_re]

I feel frozen in anxiety. Motivation to do anything is nonexistent. I'm thinking of going on short term disability..

[Espurr1989]

I've felt so needy this week. I got my wisdom tooth removed Monday and my dentist was super nice to me and made me feel validated about the pain I was feeling and supported. I've been taking care of myself because of the minor recovery and also researching self-compassion and soothing. I have been craving attention and wanting people to talk to online and off. I also feel at times like nobody can provide me with the support I want or need. I probably don't actually need it, but I really want it. I feel like such a child for feeling like this, since usually I judge other people for feeling this way. But now that it is happening to me, I'm wondering what is so wrong with it.

[bizi]

((((((HUGS))))))
to all of those who need them.
bizi

I can't tell what my mood is anymore. I'm extremely irritable, aggressive, and reckless, and to top it off, I'm still hallucinating. Maybe it's just a mild mania, as I can't sleep, not even with Seroquel! I've taken 5 seroquels within the past 12 hours. Nothing.

Hopefully this feeling goes away soon. It's not a fun feeling.

I went to Scrabble club tonight for the first time in six months and i just may have made a friend and playing partner! So excited! I won all my games and got six bingoes!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by apfei

I went to Scrabble club tonight for the first time in six months and i just may have made a friend and playing partner! So excited! I won all my games and got six bingoes!

I am so happy for you jane!
bizi