[Nammu]

Being without my zolpidem is starting to get really bad. Another night of no sleep, managed an hour at 10am.

[CloserToTheMid]

Coming out of mania. Sweet relief. Sorry if I upset anyone.

[Unrigged64072835]

Usual day. About out of one my psych meds. Not sure how to last the weekend.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Usual day. About out of one my psych meds. Not sure how to last the weekend.

call tomorrow for a refill. The pharms can usually get you a 3 day supply of your meds.
bizi

[Moose72]

I went to choir at church. Recorded one piece down in the sanctuary. Since the phone was right in front of me it's mostly me. Lol. Someone will record us for real though when the time comes.

Still elevated mood!

3 hrs, 1min of sleep tonight! Damn... Me no sleepy at all.

On the bright side, I'm getting lots of work done like a pro right now

difficult memories regarding our family again.

actually saw them in the room with us this morning.. it was pretty scary! (dang helusinations!)

spent most of yesterday evening online to technical support

finally cleared up my issue (even though for 2 hours, I was told it couldn't be fixed)

not really sure how i'm feeling at the moment

[hopeless2015]

At work it's only 9 am and I can't concentrate on anything....going to be a long day....**** this ****

[Moose72]

Study lady came by to talk with me about what to do next. Paid me part of the money. Watching "A Madea Christmas" on TV. It's not as funny as I thought it would be.

[CloserToTheMid]

24 hours level. Fingers crossed for a level afternoon.

My friend told me a joke last night. This guy is walking down the street and almost trips on something. He turns around and looks at it and goes, that looks like poop. He learns down and sniffs it and goes "it smells like it too".....then he tastes it and decides it's poop. He says "thank god I didn't step in that"

I feel like I'm stuck in an Olympic sized swimming pool filled with crap. I stepped in it, sniff it and can taste it and I want out! But I must wade through and wait.

[CloserToTheMid]

good one. but a pool of crap sounds pretty miserable. Sorry, ElsaMars.

Originally Posted by CloserToTheMid

good one. but a pool of crap sounds pretty miserable. Sorry, ElsaMars.

Things are pretty miserable....I'm fighting some horrible thoughts and watching my son implode and all I want is to hug him and make it all go away. But I can't. I can just wade through the crap and hope they drain the pool and clean it soon. (((Hugs))). I had an appointment with my PDOC yesterday and therapy next week so I'm doing all I can right now. my son will get better....he always does. I have to stay hopeful. Thanks for understanding.

[CloserToTheMid]

ElsaMars,

I know what it's like to watch my children implode and feel helpless. At some point, the day after I put my son in the hospital for a too close for comfort suicide attempt, I remember hiding on the side of my house so no one would see me smoke. The pain was too great to bear. I couldn't get the images out of my head. But in a moment of clarity, I decided to just go ahead and let it happen. Let it go. Give it up as if it had actually happened. I found peace. And anytime he or my bipolar daughter suffers and begins to implode, I just let it go. It's really out of my control. I do what I can and leave the rest to greater powers than me. Maybe I needed to say that more than you needed to hear it.

[Faltering]

Yesterday my counselor called and asked how I was doing. I said fine even though I'm not sure if I am. I keep alternating between thinking I'm okay and I don't have a disorder to thinking I need help. I told him I'm just going to wait until my pdoc appointment to get meds instead of calling the hospital. I couldn't sleep last night because of racing thoughts and I heard voices again today. I don't know if I care anymore.

[Unrigged64072835]

Getting dishes cleaned up and ready to cook again. Tried to take a nap as I didn't sleep well last night, but mind was racing. Feeling a bit on edge this afternoon.

Originally Posted by CloserToTheMid

ElsaMars,

I know what it's like to watch my children implode and feel helpless. At some point, the day after I put my son in the hospital for a too close for comfort suicide attempt, I remember hiding on the side of my house so no one would see me smoke. The pain was too great to bear. I couldn't get the images out of my head. But in a moment of clarity, I decided to just go ahead and let it happen. Let it go. Give it up as if it had actually happened. I found peace. And anytime he or my bipolar daughter suffers and begins to implode, I just let it go. It's really out of my control. I do what I can and leave the rest to greater powers than me. Maybe I needed to say that more than you needed to hear it.

Thanks Daniel. I'm really struggling with if I made the right choice. It's a big struggle. There were 3 possible choices to make and I had 4 other people all there and helping me with the decision. They all feel certain with the choice. I'm all wavy and go between all 3 of them and thinking each would have been best for a different reason. I have to have faith I made the right choice and some moments I do, am at peace with it then it eats my stomach like a pacman and feels like I have battery acid or drano in my gut. In time it will work out. Thanks again.

[Standup2me]

It is very cold here, -42 outside. I filled the bird feeder up and the little chickadees were
sitting on the tree branches singing "thank you"
The music of nature is so beautiful it brought me to tears

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

It is very cold here, -42 outside. I filled the bird feeder up and the little chickadees were
sitting on the tree branches singing "thank you"
The music of nature is so beautiful it brought me to tears

Awwwww! So nice!

[Coconutzo]

I'm getting the headaches again. My brain is speeding up? I'm sweaty. I'm over exercising. I'm a genius. I'm creative. I'm never tired. I'm going to fix everything that was ever wrong.
???
I'm probably just spinning and the headache is probably just from dehydration from working out for two hours this morning. The plans to fix my problems are legit, cause dang, I've got problems. The sweating is the heat.

Loops loops loops.
Fruit loops.
It's not time for breakfast cereal.

Warmest regards to the American mainland's polar vortex from overcast Honolulu, where yesterday began with a massive federal drug bust in Kalihi, today's bank robbery has been the fifth since last week, and police nabbed a burglary suspect today after locking down an entire Kaneohe neighborhood. East Oahu

Cops. We are the new Wild West.

Yesterday, at the conclusion of a four-hour-long Chinese acupressure seminar, a septuagenarian "human potentializer" life coach slipped my friend her business card, on which was printed the URL for a German corporate precious metals brokerage. She disclosed that the shower at her home had three separate nozzles. In a dazzling lapse of judgement, my friend gave the human potentializer his phone number. A strange and sinister game is afoot, and each Bipolar Check-in could be my last.

[LadyShadow]

I am doing okay, although my room is in one big mess. I don't even know where to start. I just feel like getting a few beers and saying F*%* it.

[Moose72]

I need lunch but am too lazy to go get it or make it.

[Unrigged64072835]

Still plodding away on software, plus doing two loads of laundry. Went grocery shopping with the whole family. It was like a scavenger hunt during Black Friday. Made a lot of pancakes so we'll be good with breakfast leftovers for a while.

[Moose72]

Pancakes yum.

I did go to the store for groceries. Not quite the madhouse I'd envisioned but still very long lines.

Waiting for my son to get home so we can go to a concert