Questions: Bipolar Version 2

I'll answer the last question.....getting a kitten. Just a couple more weeks.

Are you fidgety?

Yes. Have a hard time focusing. Especially in meetings. Immediately start wondering if people notice I'm fidgety/on another planet. Sometimes I count or make lists or do puzzles.

Do you go to BP meetings?

no.
do you think weather affects your mood?

(I know for me, I really struggle to cope on warm sunny days)

For me it's cloudy days. Where I live cloudy WEEKS are common in late-fall & winter. I use a light box to simulate sunlight.

Have you ever had a period of time when your therapists quit/moved in rapid succession? It makes me feel like I have to start over again.

I've had some fast changes before...near the end of grad school my pdoc died and I saw his replacement once and then had nobody. One of my therapists moved to another country with 4 weeks notice. It was hard. Now I've been with my pdoc for 14 years and my therapist 11.

Do you ever wonder if your pdoc or therapist comes to PC and knows you on here?

yep, I do.

in fact sometimes I see someone online with their name and can't help hover around their profile to watch their location (I love you can do that)

I've had that thought with family too

so do you ever feel guilty about posting something on here?

(I know i've posted stuff I then regreted because it's too much)

Yes, sometimes I feel like I'm posting about stupid stuff or that what I'm talking about isn't important when viewed as part of life. I often feel unsure about posting what I write and don't post things probably 50% of the time.

Do you ever do phone sessions with your therapist? Do you find it helpful?

No no phone sessions but short phone calls yes.

Do you feel like your Pdoc might read your blog?

No. Way too busy. I referred to her on the blog as "Dr Brain" and once accidentally while having trouble with oversedation from a med sent her an email intended for someone else. She wanted to know who Dr. Brain was (in context it was obvious) so I mumbled something and let it go. I was not very happy with myself though. Oops.

Do you feel you should have a private life beyond what your therapist knows (beyond intimate details like sexual stuff)?

same

countless times I've wondered the same thing

why am I posting something so unimportant?

but I learnt that actually, what may mean very little to someone else, may mean the world to you- so you have the right to post it.

someone told me that after I posted about crying over the last episode of downton abby

I don't know

I guess it would be nice, but then again, I am getting so used to being open and stuff, I don't think it would last long (either i'd be asked about it, or i'd just tell them)

are you more of an optimist or pesimist

pecimist

I find it hard to see the good in most things

(probably because my life has been so much like a horror movie)

god dam it... I forgot to ask a question

what is your song of the moment and why?

Eminem's 'Bad Guy'. Because I am so pissed off at my pdoc and it has triggered many other hurts too. The song is about revenge.

Are you happy with your pdoc?

no not really
I feel embarrassed by her a lot.

what's for dinner today?

No idea what's for dinner. Probably a frozen dinner.

What was your last med change?
(Me: Double rexulti to two mg.)

Started taking lamictal again after quitting and getting super down

What'd you dream last night

Getting fired in 2009.

Does your therapist do phone sessions if you can't make it in person?

no,

but quite often she lets me call her for a chat (not really a professional session)

she'll say something like- well I'm free between such and such hours, you can call me then if you want

do you have any current therapy goals?

No. I'm on a therapy hiatus.

What's your favorite vacation spot?

The Outer Banks.

Do you struggle with catastrophorizing?

sometimes I guess

do you like the rock band queen?

sometimes.

back in the 1990's, bohemian rapsedy was sort of my signiture tune (and I still love it now)

what is something positive that has come out of january

(and yes, go me for reviving this topic)

on the subject of queen, it just came on my sterrio

yay

I started college 30th Jan

How do find endings like ending therapy/1:1's etc.... I'm struggling so just wanting your feedback