[Theresa1991]

When depressed, I am not the kind of not-getting-out-of-bed person. Yes, I sleep in, and yes, I put my alarm on snooze, and yes, mornings are the worst, but I keep performing what everyone expects me to, no matter what it takes. Depression for me mostly is being UNABLE to do what I know will make me feel better. Which is: Get up in the mornings, go out, get to work, do sports, eat healthy, contact friends, do something creative. I become petrified and cannot exit my cycle of dark thoughts, suicidal ideas and self-harm. I am running low on energy and don't want to talk to people because my concentration sucks. But that is it. I won't stay in bed all day, ever.

How does your depression show?

[JustJace2u]

I am almost exactly the same way as you. I hide it pretty well.

[Moose72]

Last time I was depressed in the psych hospital I just looked down flat over all slow. That's what they kept telling me. . and they said I was depressed but I wouldn't believe them.

[Unrigged64072835]

I don't stay in bed all day either, but I do take more naps during the day. I find I have no energy or motivation to do anything. My thoughts are negative and usually harming.

I'm the same. I get out of bed, but have thoughts of worthlessness and hopelessness and other dark things. I get suicidal and (want to) self harm. I become irritable and unpleasant to be around. My concentration sucks and I can't focus. I isolate and don't want to talk to anybody.

[MtnTime2896]

I sleep more. Stay in bed when awake and watch Netflix, even though I'm not really watching. I get on the computer, read things and then shut it off because I can't concentrate. I try to get help on PC, but then realize that it doesn't take away the SI, so I get offline. I ignore my friends when they want to hang out. I pretend I'm sick so I don't have to be around people. I usually end up self-harming in some way shape or form. I purposely pick fights with my fiance in an effort to make him leave me, so I don't feel so guilty, which makes me feel more guilty so I don't know why I do it. I listen to music and end up going back to sleep.

^^Average day during severe depression for me.

However, I'm depressed right now, but it's not severe. Therefore, I'm doing everything very normally, while quietly having very negative thoughts and being irrationally angry.

[Theresa1991]

Wow, so this has been diagnosed as severe depression? I think due to that I must have been suffering about 30 - 40 episodes of severe depression (way more than hypomania). I end up questioning everything, wondering why I don't just jump out of the window, incapable to speak to my friends, crying and sleeping a lot, and even going to the shower seems to be an unmanageable task. I get very anxious and aggressive too. It is awful and everytime it happens I just stick around until normal or hypo sets in. That is also why I welcome hypo so much.

[LifeInProgress]

I tend to isolate. I avoid people.

I also lose all motivation and energy.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by Theresa1991

Wow, so this has been diagnosed as severe depression? I think due to that I must have been suffering about 30 - 40 episodes of severe depression (way more than hypomania). I end up questioning everything, wondering why I don't just jump out of the window, incapable to speak to my friends, crying and sleeping a lot, and even going to the shower seems to be an unmanageable task. I get very anxious and aggressive too. It is awful and everytime it happens I just stick around until normal or hypo sets in. That is also why I welcome hypo so much.

I welcome hypo with open arms. It feels so damn good compared to the hell of depression. Now, I'm not experiencing either extreme. I don't know how I feel about that, yet. Stabilizing is kind of new to me.

[CarriB]

Originally Posted by LifeInProgress

I tend to isolate. I avoid people.

I also lose all motivation and energy.

This is how I get, as well.

[raspberrytorte]

I haven't been severely depressed in awhile. I don't really remember what it's like. I forgot how it feels to be depressed or elevated when I'm not.

I remember pacing a lot and not eating and losing a ton of weight. That's all really.

Oh, and I get really suicidal and think things like my family would be better off without me, etc.

I know it feels bad. It feels like my bottom drops out (if that makes any sense.).

[Wander]

It depends on the severity. Mild depression I can just slog through it and carry on with life. Moderate and I find it hard to get off the couch, socialise and have to drag myself to work. I feel very drained and my mind is much slower than usual. Severe depression and I cannot function, hardly eat or shower, call in sick to work, stay in bed for hours once awake and then get up only to crash on the couch most of the day. I feel dead inside and have SI. My brain hardly works at all. I find no enjoyment from anything, even things I usually love and my concentration is shot. I will surf the net while watching TV and not absorb any of it. My Mum tends to cook for me and do my washing or I wouldn't eat or have clean sheets/clothes. Really bad times I end up IP. Usually for me my depression turns into a mixed state and that is even worse due to agitation, SI, racing thoughts, very low mood and extreme irritability.

[xRavenx]

I usually keep away from others, stare at the ceiling a lot, try to watch things, but nothing holds my interest. My pdoc and T observe my voice becomes flat, and I have trouble focusing. I cry a lot, or on days where I don't cry, I feel numb. I stay in my bedroom a lot and refuse to go out with friends or do tasks that I should be doing. My life seems "grey" and that it will always stay that way. Depression feels "heavy" and weighs you down. I lose hope more and more with each day when I experience it. Eventually, it becomes like a dark tunnel with no light.

The impulsivity, severe racing thoughts, and self-destructive behaviors start to set in after going through a low energy state of depression, where it starts to become a Mixed Episode.

[VerMOZZica]

I don`t want to get out of bed in morning and I don`t want to leave the house.I have no motivation.Even taking a shower seems like monumental task for me.I can`t concentrate and everything makes me want to cry.

[Theresa1991]

I just do the opposite of all things that would possibly make me feel better. I plan to do sports or go out in the mornings and I just stay in. I drink. I sleep longer then I intended, call in sick at work from time to time. Totally got the "losing my bottom". I always say: I am falling off the world. Everything gets so heavy, that when outside my legs feel like made of lead and I just want to sit down on the asphalt and disappear. Often turns into a mixed state for me as well, which is way worse.

[Nate7907]

Depression is when I loose all of my creativity and my whit. I become dull, all I do is sleep. Those times make it so hard for me to keep going, being awake physically hurts. Depression is a real *****. Suicide seems so rational during those times.

[MusicLover82]

Originally Posted by Theresa1991

When depressed, I am not the kind of not-getting-out-of-bed person. Yes, I sleep in, and yes, I put my alarm on snooze, and yes, mornings are the worst, but I keep performing what everyone expects me to, no matter what it takes. Depression for me mostly is being UNABLE to do what I know will make me feel better. Which is: Get up in the mornings, go out, get to work, do sports, eat healthy, contact friends, do something creative. I become petrified and cannot exit my cycle of dark thoughts, suicidal ideas and self-harm. I am running low on energy and don't want to talk to people because my concentration sucks. But that is it. I won't stay in bed all day, ever.

How does your depression show?

My depression shows up as obsessive thoughts and anxiety. It's confusing because I don't FEEL depressed, it's more questioning everything, worrying about everything, obsessing, blah blah blah. It's awful, but I know it could be worse.

HUGS to you!!

[Wild Coyote]

I am often in a lot of physical pain. This exacerbates depression.

When severely depressed, I will sleep late, have difficulty getting up and staying up, everything seems like a major undertaking (including walking across the room). I want to stay in comfy clothes, on a comfy bed and sleep or zone out. I isolate. The psychological pain and sense of hopelessness runs deep. Everything is difficult and suicide makes perfect sense.


WC

[Shazerac]

I get extremely irritable and unable to make even the slightest decision. I snap at my husband, isolate and stay in bed. I pretend to be sick claiming a headache when I can't handle being around other people. I tell myself I'm useless, and don't deserve anything that I have even my life. Did I mention I HATE being no depressed

[gayleggg]

I get out of bed and do the things that are expected of me but only that. Doing anything more tires me out just thinking about it. So most of the time I lay around and watch tv or sleep. My depression shows as a sadness and lack energy.

People seem to recognize when I am down. I get a lot of 'are you all right?' do you want to talk?' along with efforts to help get me out and about.

A very real sign of Depression coming on is my lack of creativity. Friends and family are aware I do a lot of art. When suddenly I am not, they get very concerned.

[Ocean Swimmer]

I'm in bed or on the couch all day. It's hard to shower or leave the house.
No drive or motivation. No goals.
Don't really care about seeing or calling friends.
That's how depression manifests in me.

[annabelle_01]

Low energy, loss of interest, isolating and excessive use of alcohol. I just want to sleep. I have a hard time concentrating. I try to have a plan in place if I find myself in a depressive state (ie:call my therapist or force myself to watch something stimulating on the televisio ).