[xRavenx]

I officially took a break from therapy and notified by therapist. She did not get back to me yet-- I left a message. I just felt I got enough out of it, and I no longer feel like talking out my issues, because I sometimes feel judged and it's expensive. I can talk to other people without paying the co-pay, plus my pdoc does a little bit of her own counseling. I'm not really "stable," but as I've said, my pdoc is there for any issue. My T wasn't really an expert in Bipolar anyway. She was more psychoanalytical about my childhood, which didn't jive with me since it's not helping me develop any skills or "great insight" that is of any help. Hopefully I'm making the right decision.

[VerMOZZica]

I`ve done absolutely nothing all day.There is a pile of clean clothes waiting in my laundry basket waiting to be folded at put away.I just don`t feel like it today.I don`t know what`s wrong with me I guess I`m not having a great day.I feel useless.

[Wander]

Day two of fluoxetine (prozac) and I feel awful. So depressed. Doubt it is the drug, just my mood in general. It 8.45am here and i dread the day already. Don't know how I am going to study. Just want to curl up and hide. just hoping the med kicks in asap. Depression is hell.

[jacky8807]

Changed my avatar. Kept getting confused between me and moose and figured whose else will pick this ugly bouncing ostrich head?

[Wander]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

Changed my avatar. Kept getting confused between me and moose and figured whose else will pick this ugly bouncing ostrich head?

I love the ostrich

[Nammu]

Looks like it's laughing at something

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Just cannot conquer this depression.
Too many complications (medical).
Cannot function.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

WC

I am so sorry for you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Naynay99]

Well mood is sort of still crap. But. I vacuumed all 3 rooms, hung up my closet clothes that have been in a pile for weeks. And am still doing and folding laundry- I am on load #4 I think? Next, i am about to clean the bathroom. And change the linens on the beds.

I am actually functioning and getting stuff done like crazy today. Move over depression, dont fuuck with me- I am awesome. I think the great spring weather today and some good music may be boosting my mood a little bit as I don't feel the urge to self destruct.
Anyway. I am not sure how I am gonna make it thru a week living w my folks- no privacy. No comfy bed. 1 tv to share. It could get ugly. Lol.

I am saving watching homeland for when I am mostly done with these chores. Gonna call it quits in a few hours. I am feeling done but still have some stuff to do. Having company takes effort. I will say, tho, it is a nice feeling to see my place clean. It's been a long while.
Have a good week everybody. I hope that I do.

[Standup2me]

Shadows follow me
But that must mean that I am walking toward light
Shadows in my heart
Shadows in my head
But I am stronger, and light calls to me
Giving me hope and the ability to fight on

[bizi]

you are very busy nay nay.
hope you don't hurt yourself!
have a good week!
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[AmandaBroken]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Shadows follow me
But that must mean that I am walking toward light
Shadows in my heart
Shadows in my head
But I am stronger, and light calls to me
Giving me hope and the ability to fight on

Thanks for sharing that. It touched me and made a lot of sense.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by AmandaBroken

Thanks for sharing that. It touched me and made a lot of sense.

Amanda, you have such a good heart, I admire that in you.

[AmandaBroken]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Amanda, you have such a good heart, I admire that in you.

It doesn't cost anything to be kind. It's the least I could offer. Thank you. Hug...

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by AmandaBroken

That makes absolutely no sense at all...

Poor you, of course it depends on what you MEAN on 'that', right? I'm always absolutely on my mean time when I see a *****y feet like that. You wanted a explanation? You ain't ****in Entitled to anybody's explanation that's dumbed down to your likings, you weren't asking, and according to english.stackexchange.com, you made a very clear strong statement without any backings. Maybe you text too much or something, get off those electronics, and think like a real human, you sound like a replicant that'll expire while searching for your own specs, did the major choose you or did you? Either way, you ain't amount to nothing in the future, You was ****in rude, human 101, I respect myself, don't nobody getting my post twisted, get your **** straight before you talk to me.

Amanda being Broken cannot construct a reasonable rational argument, that is what I'm guessing. I engineer languages, words are puzzles to me on a blank canvas, try not go get on my sporadic nerve, you'll be served with my servitude, my backings, the backbones are here, PC which I wouldn't mind call home.

Explained ankle:

[bizi]

nice.....

[xRavenx]

....I can't trust a lot of people in my life. I don't know whether certain people are my enemies or my friends. It's hard to accept. I'm leaning towards enemies. I should just lay low.

[Sunflower123]

Feeling pretty good today. Have a lot to do today so I'm apprehensive and wary about that considering my track record.

[bipolar angel]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I officially took a break from therapy and notified by therapist. She did not get back to me yet-- I left a message. I just felt I got enough out of it, and I no longer feel like talking out my issues, because I sometimes feel judged and it's expensive. I can talk to other people without paying the co-pay, plus my pdoc does a little bit of her own counseling. I'm not really "stable," but as I've said, my pdoc is there for any issue. My T wasn't really an expert in Bipolar anyway. She was more psychoanalytical about my childhood, which didn't jive with me since it's not helping me develop any skills or "great insight" that is of any help. Hopefully I'm making the right decision.

I think its ok-you did notify your t and sounds like you have a plan with pdoc.
I will just say i have done therapy off/on for almost 18yrs. I have times whn i stop/do well. Then i use this site and some support groups to keep in control,whn i start feeling out of control/stressed,etc i usually get new t/sometimes back with same ine. Sometimes i want change therapist because i have new ossue to handle,so want t with different experience. I now foigle my therapist-read their training,where worked soecialties,customer comments..tgen i xall. I tell them want talk 10minutes on phone about bipolar,style,etc-because i can usually tell-after 18yrs-if i think we will jive.

[scatterbrained04]

On vacation from work. Not going anywhere just hanging out with my kid. Trying so hard to relax. People from work keep calling/texting. I feel like I should be working or cleaning instead of relaxing and recharging my depleted mental batteries.

[Naynay99]

It's the first day of my spring break.
Started out a bit rough- my cat woke me up this am- I was sleeping in the guest room. And the pillow at the very top of the bed against wall had poop on it! Eww!! Gross. I guess he didn't do a very good job in the litter box. Bleh!! I jumped out of bed at 7 and threw the pillow case in the wash.

After that my day improved. I got the garbage out in time for pick up (can't put it out night before bc of bears). Then headed off to a dr appt. after that I got breakfast and came home and mopped the kitchen floor and then took a bath. My parents are due to arrive aroun 12 or 1 pm today. I have a gyn dr appt at 3 pm today. Then I am free from any and all obligations until Easter. No work is a glorious feeling! I'm gonna read lots of books and sit outside and write and listen to music and drink lots and lots of iced coffee.

Mood has held steady at pretty okay, which after this depression feels pretty damn good. The warm 70ish F spring temperatures the last 2 days are making me hate life a lot less. Ah- I love the sunshine. I have missed it so. I'm not sure if my sudden burst in energy is Spring or panic after days of procrastination or what. I know it's not normal to do nothing for weeks and then clean the entire house like a nut, but apparently that is how I roll. I am not gonna question the mood gods,gonna enjoy this temporary kick asssedness for however long it lasts.

Anyhow I wanted to wish everyone a good week. Keep kicking asss and taking names... take care.

[bioChE]

Enjoy your break. You've been depressed long enough that you deserve a break from your symptoms and from work.

[Alokin]

Rapid cycling. One moment I feel gregarious and the next like people are plotting against me....

[Daonnachd]

Hey, all the best to all of you.

The past three weeks (today included) I haven't been at the top of my game. That said, I had a moment of peace and beauty this morning. I was walking the dog when I realized a deer was standing in a thicket about 40 feet away just watching us. It hadn't even moved when I passed by on our way home.

[Moose72]

Feeling like I need Klonopin but don't have any. Even telling Pdoc of my paranoia she said my reaction is normal.

[hopeless2015]

Home sick still. Actually just woke up and feeling like I might be getting past the worst of this. Finally!