Bipolar and Alcohol

So I have been okay lately, just wanted to check in with all my bipolar friends who are struggling with alcohol. I had some wine and beer on Friday night to treat myself after a long day of work.

It hasn't been so bad though, to all those who are struggling, big HUGS!!

I am not struggling with it right now only because I am still in the honeymoon phase with a fresh resolution, 3 weeks sober. I don't backslide right away; my trouble comes months down the road when I have evidence that maybe I could keep it in check this time. Yes, I have been here before and more than once...

I haven't had a problem with alcohol in a long time nor do I struggle with any urges but I want to warn of something. My husband recently told me "you got much more severely ill when you stopped drinking. Looking back, he's very right. I truly drank to self medicate and it actually worked quite well for me for a long time. I was a very functional drinker and it helped me to decompress for a long time. It also caused me problem sometimes so it was like playing Russian roulette if I drank and I'm not a gambler. I guess I want to warn that if someone decides to stop drinking and has been using it to truly self medicate, get support because you could get far worse before getting better. I think it's in most people's best interest to not drink with mental illness but it's important to have lots of other coping mechanisms in place when stopping. (((Hugs)))

Alcohol destroyed my life I have 6 months sober and no desire to drink today.

Oh yeah. In my early twenties I had a serious alcohol problem. I would wake up in the morning and take a couple shots of vodka, every day. I used to drink an entire bottle of vodka over the course of the day. It was bad. I got a DUI eventually and went into treatment and got better.

I was definitely doing it to self medicate.

I'm 7 days sober here, I've been going to online SMART meetings and doing some of the exercises there and they have helped tremendously. I've actually been going for a month, have slipped up but still trying so at 7 days continuous abstinence but more like 25 for 30 for the month which is a new record for me.

I had a pretty good manic uptick after I quit which seems to point to me self medicating. I wasn't taking my meds properly but after a few days back on the cravings are much easier to resist. I lost a good job to alcohol and if I can get my self together I'm told I can have it back. The last month for me though, it's been some of the best days in a long time. I like to think that one day I'll be capable of having a healthy relationship with alcohol but by that time I won't even care to.

I think mindfulness is key here. In accordance with ElsaMars said, I went sober for almost 10 months and landed right back in the hospital for being completely crazy and manic. I did the same thing, self-medicated so I can bring myself down off of the natural "high" of mania.

I know sometimes we can go a bit overboard with it, but I know from experience that a little bit of a depressant isn't so bad at times. I am not excusing alcoholism in any way, nor am I downplaying those who really have a problem. What I am saying is, sometimes we need something to just mellow us out, and if you can control the binging and the craving and have a drink every once in a while, it's not so bad.

But who knows? It varies from individual to individual. Good job to those who have made it sober though. I am very proud of you!

Hi there. Yes I struggle with alcoholism myself. I'm not currently sober but want to be. Alcohol just makes me more depressed and cry non stop but i still crave it. I don't drink nearly as much as I used to thank god, but still not where I want to be as far as sobriety goes. Good luck with you and your sobriety.

I have self medicated on rare occasions with alcohol. Short term great...long term bad. I have the utmost respect for the people posting here in various states of sobriety. I imagine it's very, very difficult. Best wishes.

Congrats to all of you who are making attempts at being sober. I'm still a bad alcoholic -- just one who has been in recovery for quite a few 24 hours. My two serious attempts to OD both occured when I was "stupid drunk." I can relate to what ElsaMars refered to as drinking being like Russian roulette; I view it the same way. For me, my MI & alcohol - not to mention mixing with meds - are a BAD combination.

My family were always big drinkers. My parents would buy me alcopops to drink in house before I was of age. So it was never rebellious for me.
But I got self destructive and had my first episode at 18. Alcohol made my thoughts spin faster and made me think of memories. So I had to give it up for a while. Its not easy at that age and I was very reluctant.
I haven't had more than four ciders for a few months now. Used the proper way alcohol is great to help you relax and socialise.
After my second major episode, I was so lonely and alcohol helped to numb my painful emotions. The doctors said I "abused" alcohol. I drunk everyday, about 8 tins and a half of spirit. It never led to drugs. People say people who smoke marijuana never die or get into fights but it can cause psychosis, so I have never been "high." I am schizoaffective for crying out loud, don't need chemical help. I self medicated with alcohol, for my mood, as I had not been put on anti-depressants yet. I had no idea where my life was heading, if I would ever work again, without purpose I felt useless, unwanted, un-lovable.
I had no trouble giving up the alcohol. I just decided one day I couldn't be bothered and bought some sweet and sickly ice cream and ate whole tub and I was fine.
I can drink sociably and in house I have, one or two so I can chill.
I mean you could either eat ten doughnuts a day or have ten beers and both will shorten your life.
My doctor said I could still drink with my medication, none of my doctors ever question my drinking habits. They would be happy I was on nights out.

But yes MI and drinking isn't wise if you are "unwell" as I have drunk while only stable. I drunk when I tried to cut my meds and it made my breakdown worse I knew I shouldn't have used it while stressed.

Thank you for this thread! I'm still not in a good place with alcohol. It calms me. Helps me sleep. However I'm not drinking till I black out anymore.

Prayers for all that's struggling.

I drink 3-5 beers every night.
bizi

Since I have been working I have been drinking more. Not something I am proud of. But I find myself with a few glasses of wine on a Friday night. Last Friday was pretty bad because it was really hot, and all the alcohol did was make me feel hotter and worse.

I really need to kick the habit :/

If I drink 250 calorie beers and drink 2-4 of them every night, that is 500 or 1000 extra caloies, gaining 1-2 pounds every week doing that.
No wonder I have gained a 35 pound beer gut.
sigh
bizi

I just posted this over in addiction. It clarified to me where I stand with the idea of controlled drinking to write (type) it down:

I need to accept that my "controlled drinking" inevitably leads here. That's hard because every time is different - I can tell because I looked at the calendar. Seriously, I keep looking at it as more experience and knowledge about where the land mines are so I will avoid them instead of mounting evidence that proves I can't. It's hard.

That's an interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing! I think my drinking is controlled because I usually just go once a week and have a few drinks. But I feel absolutely terrible after. Let's see what happens this Friday!

hugs to those who suffer.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

((Hugs))) everyone

I got through the weekend, and now I am just waiting for Friday to come around again to see if I would binge again on the wine. It's really tough. I have therapy tomorrow, so I might drink again. Ugh, the pressure is on. I just need relief, I wish I could break free....

I have a weird relationship with alcohol. I don't drink when I am home, but when I go out all bets are off. It has been making me feel really bad recently. Like when I drink, the next day, I feel absolutely awful.

Also, when I drink, I get really sleepy and just go to sleep. So what's the point?

Ugh! I wish I could kick this habit!

I drank every weekend for about a year and a half. This past summer I was drinking three to four times a week because I wasn’t working. I continued this up until August 12. On August 13 I started depakote, which can mess with your liver, so I quit drinking. I was sorta stable, so I didn’t really miss it.

Well, at the beginning of October I started running again on the weekend. I KNOW it’s bad for me because of the depakote but I just keep doing it. I just get soooo bored or so stressed or so hypo that I want to drink. And I seem to have no control over it if it’s a Friday or Saturday. And I can’t just have one drink. Once I start I don’t stop until my alcohol is gone or I’m drunk enough to see double. Like you, ladyshadow, I generally just fall asleep. On New Years I drank two bottles of wine in two hours and passed out at 11.

I don’t want to wreck my liver. But I just get so bored by myself on the weekend, or my sister in law is here and she’s drinking and I want to have fun. I just talk myself into it.

I fortunately (or unfortunately) don’t get hangovers unless I drink liquor, so I stick to wine or spiked seltzer.

I know I can’t go on like this on depakote. I’m hoping I’ll control myself this weekend.

(((Hugs to you WildFlowerChild))))

I totally can relate. Liquor usually gives me the worst hangovers and I generally just drink because I want to have fun. It's sooo hard to kick the habit of it.

I have been good the past couple of days. I managed to get out of the house and not have a drink which is really rare for me. Another thing I picked up? Smoking. UGH! If it's not one bad habit it's another. I am not quite that addicted yet, but after a large meal I just want a cigarette so badly, or when I have a couple of drinks. the two seem to go together so perfectly.

I don't know. It's been another manic day and I just want to sleep and I can't. It's almost like I NEED the alcohol to knock me out of my mania.

The scariest part? I was sober for 10 months before I ended up in the hospital. That's the scariest thing ever because I talk myself into saying I need the drink to battle the mania when the meds don't help.

IT just feels like a vicious cycle.

Before my BP II diagnosis and meds... unsuccessfully treated for MDD...horrible reaction to AD's...I drank heavily every day for years. Self-medicating! Proud to say I set that bottle down 7 yrs, 6mos ago and have never picked up since...

And today it's 4 months!

But as I said in the earlier post above, I have been here before a few times and slipped further down the road so I still have my guard up.

I have to say I haven't touched alcohol over the past few months. I don't have a need for it. I had a few beers a week ago and a pina colada a few days ago but that's about it. I don't have a need for it like I used to.

I have been struggling with alcohol for a long time and I feel like I am finally making progress!