Do you ever?

...just want to refuse treatment. I'm stuck in this place where I'm not functioning the greatest but feel like there's no point in getting help. I have an appointment with pdoc next week, and I've been constantly thinking about cancelling. I know I am not well, but I feel like I can't be helped. Sorry to keep whining to you guys.

their have been times where I have refused certain meds, because they have just not helped.

their has also been times where i've refused therapy, i've simply said something along the lines of, what is the point of seeing you?. I don't remember our sessions, and to be honest I feel like crap afterwards

i'm never going to be perfect, i'm never going to be MI free

I think at times I do feel like you

who gives a **** about treatment

it seems like every 2 or 3 weeks you start something else anyway which is just another dead end.

yes a lot of the time this is something i really struggle with but i am trying to keep accepting treatment i hope you do too.

I'm very attached to my pdoc. He is also my therapist. We have worked together many years. That's the key, I think: working together. We both keep giving it our best shot. I am sure he gets frustrated, too. We have an agreement to work on it together.


WC

Early on I wanted to give up treatment. This was especially true as I was starting to get better on medication. My wife told me I would probably be on medication for the rest of my life. I don't want that for anyone, including myself. I thought about quitting the medication because I don't want to be sedated.

When I'm leveled out, there isn't much that can get me to dip one way or the other on their own. I worry that I'm not going to display emotion and be a robot. At times I feel like I am. When I'm cycling I feel alive, but the emotions scare me because they are extreme highs and extreme lows.

Yes, a few months ago I was having g trouble with the pharmacy and the pricing on my Latuda so I just went off for a couple of week's....didnt work put so well for me!

Oh! Thanks for mentioning this. I am thinking about quitting Latuda, too, because it's so very expensive for me. Maybe I should not be so quick to drop it?
Thanks for sharing this.
Made me stop and think. Again.


WC

I never quit treatment or meds but I had to go through many therapists and psychiatrists to get to the strong support system I have today. I never think about quitting my meds...just not something I think is a good idea but I tell my pdoc quickly when something isn't working.

Yes, I had an experience recently where I was taking Rexaulti but it was too expensive so my doctor took me off it since it's now spring thinking it would be ok. A few days later I almost went IP. I'm on something more affordable now which is actually working better.

I'm thinking about quitting meds and therapy right now because I feel so good. I keep thinking I could do this on my own, but without the fatigue and extra weight. Also part of me doesn't feel quite like me on meds. I also hate therapy. In short I have no "good" reason to stop treatment but I struggle with it daily.

Yes. I often feel like I should just quit one treatment or another, ECT, meds, even my T whom I love. I just feel like I'm not extracting the benefit I should from my time with her.

Right now I'm off one of my meds because of a problem with insurance not paying and $1100 being slightly out of my range.

I wonder if people like myself become hypersensitive to mood and the over all sense of wellbeing. What does the average person do that doesn't experience a disorder of any kind? Perhaps caffeine in the morning to get moving. Maybe an alcoholic drink in the evening or nothing at all.

For me and my diagnosis, I have the ability to influence my mood all day long and I am always seeking perfection. I never quite find it and much of what I ingest is for preventative measures. Avoiding mania and depression. Trying so hard to stay well balanced and yet, I hate it. Balanced is safe and yet it is boring.

Would it be great to be normal (no disorders?) I don't know that I can answer that. Seems that people are always seeking something. In a sense I realize I am normal. I just have the opportunity to experiment with different compounds and I think I take it much too serious at times. It's not necessary to feel perfect all the time. I seem to forget that.

Now that I know what abilify can do for me, and that I could be major episode and paranoia free; I worry about this a bit. In 10 years, how do I convince myself I still need meds that require 2-4+/yr supervision, even if I am episode free. Will I remember what its like to assume everything important is wrong and backwards from reality, that everyone that wants to help, is really out to capture me for use as amusement?

That my keys to avoiding that feeling, are also the people I will assume the absolute worst about, as soon as the med's effect fades?

Kinda sucks..

I've wanted to quit meds because they weren't working. I'm now on a good regimen so not so much.

I'm thinking of taking a break from my T because we've run out of things to work on and it's become more of a BS session.

Scatter, You're not whining at us. We are here for exactly this reason. It's so easy to forget that we are all here for each other when we are the one in need. I do it all the time. And I feel like a dork when I do.

That said, I have only refused treatment in the form of CHANGES and only when manic. pretty typical.

I have taken therapy breaks, but only when things are going really well for a long time. I've been seeing the same T for twelve years and we go on and off sometimes. I always see a doctor regularly and always take my meds as prescribed.

I have no insurance and have on occasion been unable to afford therapy, meds, or recommended hospitalizations, but I think that is different.

I no longer think I "don't need" treatment for my bipolar or that my bipolar is not really a thing. Not since 2010 when I had a severe dysphoric mania. I simply cannot forget something so dreadfully severe and life-threatening.

I'm in this mode where I am reading every possible side effect of my meds and "looking for problems, " making me want to discontinue meds. I think I am making myself psychosomatic. Seroquel side effects, in particular, scare me with all the Parkinson's symptoms that do not go away. I keep thinking about asking my pdoc to discontinue it, but it's the only thing (so far) that helps me sleep and is working in other ways. I honestly don't know what to do. I know I need meds for life, but I do have thoughts of just giving up and being done with it all when it comes to treatment. I guess it's a battle within me.

As far as therapy goes, I'm on a break. I think this break is actually helping for now.

I think like this when I am very depressed. Not functioning, what's the point, nothing could help me anyway. You're not whining, scattered, it's just how it feels when we're not doing well sometimes.
P.S. Keep the appointment.

If I was having problems finding the right cocktail to work on my symptoms. I'm sure I'd be ready to throw in the towel. However when I first started having symptoms and started taking meds (2012). It did not take long for finding the right ones. I do get tired on taking meds but I can acknowledge that what I'm taking does help me. I've excepted the fact I will always be on meds....there is no cure for bipolar one. I'm a very symptomatic person so it is what it is. I really hope you find help to feel better soon. Peace and blessings

I'm the opposite, maybe because I've only been diagnosed for 6 months. I've fought and fought to get any support but received none. After my diagnosis I wasn't given any information about BP, not even a leaflet so everything I know is self taught.
I've been prescribed medication and that's it, though finally after 6 months I've been told I should have an appt with the psychiatrist to see how things are going (I believe there's more than BP), but I haven't been given a date yet.
That said, I can understand why people feel like giving up on treatment as I've had days when I feel fine and convince myself there's nothing wrong. I then remind myself to go and read through the symptoms of BP and to have a look at the situation it's put me in and then I feel more inclined to stay on the meds.