Anyone never get better?

It absolutely can get better. It has happened to me a few times. Really good. But it never seems to stay that way. I hope we all find happiness.

I feel stuck and I can't get out of it. I don't think I'm going to get better either.

I find myself better for a few years in a row and then something goes terribly wrong. Then it takes me a couple years before I begin to stabilize. Part of the problem is going to a public facility for my pdoc and meds. Appointment usually are three to four months apart despite significant med changes. I want to be permanently cured. The missed opportunities. I was doing quite well by my late thirties. Where would I be now that I am in my fifties if MI did not begin to dominate my life as much as it has. Everyone I know in my past is doing very well with allot of money in the bank. More importantly, I do not think I will ever be well enough to confidently take full time employment. Something is very likely to go very wrong once every several years like it has with me in my past.

Do I think there are those with BP who get better to where they can function at a high level for the rest of their life? Sure. But even when I was doing well, I still had periods of significant down time as I would think they would also have. So what to do about this? The SS regulations do not help much either. If I were to try to give some of the opportunities that come by me a try, I would jeopardize SS. Only one genuine attempt could remove me from SS with me having to reapply a few years later. At least that would be my fear.

What would have to happen in order for me to take a chance? One would be a good and very responsive pdoc. How can this happen in a public setting? Another wouod be a good support network around me. This will take me time to develope but still worthwhile. I would have to try out a job before risking being kicked off of SS. How can this happen? I would need some money in the bank to mitigate some of the risk. How can this happen?

I have been thinking. I think it would be a good idea to make a list on what needs to be in place for you to be willing to take risks in the job market. More important, there are the contingency plans. Maybe look at it like that of a business plan would be productive. Only then can you intelligently way the risks to the benefits and come to a decision. As far as wellness is concerned, that has to be part of your plans, particularly with when things go wrong. I personally would never consider employment unless I was well for several years in a row.

Just some thoughts.

[QUOTE=Jennifer 1967;5664020]

After I developed my symptoms at 15 I spent over 5 years going between plain rapid cycling and ultra rapid cycling. I thought that was gonna be the rest of my life. I've been stable since November, but I'm not sure if that's all going down the crapper now. I try to take it day by day and not think about tomorrow.

Neither can I, nor do I want to. A friend nagged me to try meditation for a full year. Mother of Mary.

I don't expect to get better, and if I think I'm getting better, it means I'm not getting better.

Haha lefty. usually when I think I'm "getting better" It means I'm not getting better too lol

but right now I am doing better! for real this time!

Please help me guys. I'm so scared.

Lefty, come back and help me please

Please tell me it can get better guys. Please.

Things can always get better.

Can you tell us what is going on so we can be more specific?

Hi Elsa - fight through it - tomorrow will be a better day!

Call a friend or find someone to talk with. Take a walk. I sometimes just try to go to bed and sleep through the worst of things.

Keep the faith - it will get better.

I don't know what is going on. I'm sensitive to sounds. I feel like someone is doing something to me. I need help and I'm begging anyone on here who can help me to do so. The meds don't seem to be the answer. People are saying things to me and not remembering saying them. It's all so bizarre. I'm deeply sorry for getting pissy on the board. I thought I was standing up for myself but I now see I was being a jerk. Please help me.

I never saw you get pissy or being a jerk.

When I get really sensitive to sounds I am usually mixed. In fact my therapist uses my reaction to sounds to identify where I am.

Could you be mixed? Are you getting sleep? Eating?

I’m thinking of you, Elsa.

Things always change. This we can count on with bipolar disorder.

This, too, Shall Pass. I remember this during hard times. It has been true, IME.

I am sending positivity your way.

I'm sleeping and eating. Don't think I'm mixed or bipolar. Just a person who made poor life choices and who is desperate for a second chance and to be allowed to keep my family intact please.

Hi elsa, I'm sorry you're struggling. What can we for you?

Dear ElsaMars, I've felt scared I'd never get better, but now I am better. Do you have a GOOD support system???? A psychiatrist, a therapist at the very least? Those were the two that really pulled me through, but I have a strong, supportive sister, too, who was there for me. And believe me, I was in TERRRRRRRRRRIBLE SHAPE last summer. I can't let my brother in on my pain (when it's real bad, which it isn't now) because he has major depressive disorder and MY pain brings pain TO HIM. He loves me very much, and is a great brother. I also have a very kind and patient boyfriend. I wish I had some close women friends, and am hoping to find a few. I'm joining an elders' support group this week. It's not a mental health group. I'm a little scared because I don't know what I'll be getting into. It's a peer group, with two well trained peer facilitators. The people in the group have been meeting for years, and it's a little scary walking into such a close bunch, you know what I mean? Anyway, as for wondering if you might not get better, my impression of bipolar disorder is that it is real, it is a permanent "condition" and it fluctuates. So I work hard to remember that no mood lasts forever. I'm a rapid cycler -- you? My psychiatrist suggested that my therapist and I work out some things for me to DO/try when I get real bad depressed. We came up with about ten things, and I made a chart in Microsoft Excel so I can check off which ones I try. Some of mine are: calligraphy; working algebra problems and I know this is unusual, but there are other types of puzzles to work that people do such as crosswords, jigsaws, etc? Playing my guitar and singing; going to the fitness center to work out; yoga. I'm also careful about what I eat, and don't eat junk food. Sorry to talk so much about "me" but maybe some of this will give you ideas? I'm in a good space at the moment, and you know I am sure that I've been in very bad space at times on the forum! On my chart are three pictures I found in google images/clip art: a thunderstorm; partly cloudy; and a sunny day. They are at the top of each of the pages of my chart and are pretty and make me feel hopeful just seeing that I can move from thunderstorm (severe depression) to partly cloudy (feeling slightly better) to sunny. MOST days, the chart can pull me out of a depressed mood, and I do various things to try. I don't do the same things every time.

Yes, it will get better. However, not sure what you mean by "it" -- the mood will get better. Is/Are there thing/s you can do to improve whatever the situation is that is perhaps causing your mood right now?

Lots of things to think about that you've written, Tucson. And I know exactly what you mean about the problems with getting your mental health services through the public health system. I had very good care in the public system for years, then it all went downhill FAST FAST FAST. I found a private psychiatrist who takes Medicare. I know someone who recommended her, and I am very fortunate to have a great pdoc now. I wonder if there are any good private pdocs in your area who would take whatever insurance you have? Just an off-the-wall question, sorry.

Hi, Elsa. How are you doing currently?

I have chronic pain in my back and neck. I had surgeries in my thirties, but I have advanced disk degeneration and I know I had six bulging discs after my neck and back surgeries (I had two herniated discs replaced). Gosh, it’s been so long since I had my surgeries and I’m definitely getting worse. I’m in pain 24/7. I’m level 7 out of 10 right now.

I have some days where I am in less pain then others, but I won’t get better physically, no. I’m not giving up, however. I tweaked my back last week and I immediately started implementing all the things I knew to help...it all adds up.

I also have IBS, sinusitis and migraines. They are painful, too. But my back and neck problems are the worst. It is depressing and if I’m in a depressive episode...it makes my depression worse.

On the mental illness front, I need to preface that I have an excellent psychiatrist. I am treatment-resistant, unfortunately. I have never had anything close to a remission. My pdoc cares about me (he told me so) and I receive excellent care, he’s one of the best psychiatrists in my area.

It’s been several years, but two years after he diagnosed me he brought up perhaps he should refer me out. To another psychiatrist and not be his patient anymore. I was shocked and scared. He said he wanted me to get better and we’ve tried so many med combos....he said, “I’m by no means perfect, there might be another doctor out there that has treatment ideas that I don’t.”

I was in tears. I asked him to please let me stay on with him as a patient. Actually, I pleaded with him because I did not and do not think I can get better care. (I have other diagnoses in my signature, but the bipolar has always been the arch nemesis, by far.)

I asked him not to give up on me. He was very empathetic and said I could stay on. He did have me get extensive testing at a neuropsychologist and the testing and evaluation were the same diagnoses, including very severe bipolar disorder.

I’ve never had remission. I have never had the word remission uttered to me. My boyfriend hasn’t ever had remission for his bipolar 1, either. Actually, the other day he asked me, “is it true that some people truly get better and their bipolar goes into remission”? I said yes.

There was a guy at my support group who went to my bipolar support group and he was a patient of my psychiatrist. He only takes Lithium and has been completely symptom-free for ten years. Super nice guy.

My psychiatrist testified that I will require medication for the rest of my life for my bipolar disorder. He also stated that I could not work, would not be able to work for the foreseeable future....and that I was likely permanently disabled. (He’d never told me this and this was during my divorce.)

I’ve been inpatient many times and I’ve never been given a med combo that worked. He and I would/do tinker with gradual med adjustments afterwards.

I’ve been on the best med combo we’ve come up with for several years (but still no remission)....and it’s failed and I have to start a new med today. I’m not doing well at all. I didn’t sleep one minute last night, either, mixed episode.

We NEVER give up hope. I’ve just always figured I’d be managing my bipolar and it has gotten worse, definitely. That seems to be the trajectory for me, unless one day there is a cure.

Now, my PTSD....I am in therapy for that right now, it’s very severe. I have a good therapist and I am optimistic I can get a lot better. I think that will greatly lower my anxiety and especially my agoraphobia.

My anxiety is a disaster and I have had therapy for it, DBT the most helpful.

Perhaps my bipolar might get better if the other conditions are under control? That would be awesome! Remission, though? I doubt it, but I do my best every day.

I am going to be moving and will have a new psychiatrist. I’m .... trying to not think about it. Hopefully, I’ll find someone good.

Hope, Elsa. Cope and Hope, that’s what I do. And Radical Acceptance (DBT thing).

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. You are a wonderful person and I admire you for wanting to make things right. Not many people have the courage, strength, energy, or willpower to do that.

Have you reached out to any person in real life? You deserve help and support. A therapist could potentially help you make things right so that you DO have a second chance. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance, but sometimes we need the assistance of others to help us get that second chance.

I believe in you. I believe you can do it. You are a bright individual and you can work through this.

Where was this thread?. Who was hiding it from me?.
I am living proof that things get better (mentally) and I can't say it?.
Elsa, you know I love you.
If I could take some of your suffering from you and pass it to me. you know I would.
Depending on your mindset, things will start to change.
One little good thing brings another little thing. Then they start to grow and get a little bigger.
Life does not have a status quo. You either go up or go down. Try things that take weight off your chest. A little distraction always helps. Do something a little different. Learn something every day, and pick of a hobby that is fesiable (sp).
Try not to take to collect Ferraris.
Just, beautiful things will do. Nature has many. FREE!.

I practice what I preach. I'm into gardening now, for instance. Something I considered sissy a few months ago. I don't buy plants (no dough) but try to keep the ones we have alive.
Sounds like a stupid thing, but is rewarding. Seeing them grow and flower. Because of me.
Because of my effort of getting up and using the sprinklers at 3 or 4 in the morning. Avoiding the inspectors. Something illegal that won't land me in jail, hehe. Perfect.
Althought I already got a vaiolation (SP), I like to play with fire. Cheap too. I got a warning.
This keeps me entertained without too much risks or expense. I think the fine will be 100 bucks if I get cought the 3rd time. And I have found ways around it. Besides, I got time now to go city hall and fight.
Nothing like cat and mouse. Well, maybe sex, but that's another topic.
Get well and post more often. I MISS YOU!!!.

What kind of fire do you play with? Why can't you use the sprinklers?

Today is better I think .......maybe things can improve? I don't think I have bipolar, I don't know but don't think. Something is happening but I don't know what it is.

Glam, I'm so sorry for your pain. Mine has been better. I learned recently that I never knew real pain until now. I thought I did.....and yes, I have known it, and being tired but now it's something different. It's getting better maybe. I don't know. I'm sorry you suffer so much. I can't imagine and I'm deeply sorry. I wish I could make it all go away for you.

Thank you for the kind advise guys. If you can help me somehow, please do. I will be forever grateful.

I feel stuck too. I've been mostly depressed for few years now. I still hope I'll feel better some time, but it's looking less and less probable as time goes by.