 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
May 31, 2017, 03:04 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
So here I sit and it's 1:00pm. I am still in my nightgown and am nauseated from taking my anti-anxiety drug, Gabapentin. I'm half watching a baseball game.
I am overweight and am doing Optifast. I cheat a LOT. I am in danger of having diabetes. I had a blood test yesterday and am waiting for the results. I stay on the couch a lot. It is my comfort zone. I don't get dressed unless I am going somewhere. I have a nice supportive yoga teacher, but I haven't been going. I can walk around the neighborhood, but I don't. Strangely enough, I am not depressed. I just feel like a loser. I am so tired of trying. I went to my support group yesterday and it was okay. I just want to lay down. The good news is my husband is doing better. Is this going to be the rest of my life? I feel so fragile. 
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
 Anonymous45023, Anonymous55397, Anonymous59125, BipolaRNurse, cashart10, Daonnachd, gina_re, Hairball, jacky8807, markmcc21, pirilin, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
|
#2
May 31, 2017, 03:23 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It sounds like you can't see outside this bubble at the moment. I took my daughter to the eye dr today (productive) but I also let my younger son stay home from school and we had Wendy's for lunch. (WAY unproductive!) And btw, I wish someone would prescribe me gabapentin! I have nothing when I get anxious. I'm also overweight and have been skipping the gym recently. Ugh. Must go tomorrow. So no, this won't be your life forever.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg  Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| Wild Coyote
|
 lilypup
|
|
#3
May 31, 2017, 03:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Some times I sit in my nightgown for days at a time and move from the bed to the couch and back. Haven't been doing that lately but I know how it feels. I'm glad your husband is better. Hang in there. It will get better for you too. Best wishes.
|
| Wild Coyote
|
| lilypup
|
|
#4
May 31, 2017, 03:51 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
The world is so unnatural and we live lives so unatural to our biological directives. It causes a lot of pain and confusion for some of us. You are not a loser, you are just lacking in purpose right now. I keep a piece of paper and pencil next to me and write down things I want to learn that would bring me joy. Like making the best, ooiest, gooiest cinnamon rolls from scratch, life goals or inspirations. I need to now wrote a list of the ingredients I will need for my cinnamon roll adventure. It's not like making cinnamon rolls can change me into the productive person I wish I was but it's a start, and I think it would be fun and my family will appreciate it. Maybe you could make your own list. I've been working on mine for several weeks and only have a few things on it but each one is something that will bring me personal joy and satisfaction and I think that is what I need more of in my life. Finding joy has been hard but it's vital for me. When depressed it's impossible but even when depressed I sometimes think of something I'd like to learn and that gives me a tiny goal which is something. Good luck.
|
| Wild Coyote
|
| jacky8807, lilypup, Wild Coyote
|
|
#5
May 31, 2017, 03:51 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
What would motivate you to go out?
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#6
May 31, 2017, 04:03 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I think Elsa is on to something. finding an interest or explore a passion you may have once had or a new one could open up a gateway to positive feelings.
making a list is a great idea. it's something I really need to do myself. between work and kids I have lost myself. I'm not in any mood episode but I really need to feel passionate about something I use to write but I have lost my touch I feel like the words only come to me now during hypo/manic episodes. idk what I'm saying but I'm saying I feel where you are coming from!
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| Wild Coyote
|
| lilypup
|
|
#7
May 31, 2017, 04:03 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The list that Elsa talked about is good.
If I felt a bit more energetic I could go lots of places. I could definitely go to the gym for the treadmill as it's getting hot here. I could go have lunch with friends. I could travel around in-state. We have the money but my husband is hurt right now. I just feel so useless...I wish I had some purpose and was needed, but I am too undependable to volunteer. I thought about staffing a "warm line" like one hour or so a week. I am a good listener. But all the warm lines around here are paid positions. So that wouldn't work. And I just come back to how tired and unmotivated I am. The cinnamon rolls sound so good.
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#8
May 31, 2017, 04:07 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
| Anonymous59125, jacky8807, Wild Coyote
|
|
#9
May 31, 2017, 04:17 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Lillypup, I feel like I'm dying of a fatal illness daily and I'm just sitting around waiting to die so I can relate and I'm sorry. I'm depressed and it sounds like you are too. That doesn't sound like the actions of a mentally well person. If you aren't being kept down physically, you sure are emotionally by the sounds of it and it sounds like you are overwhelmed too. When unstable I become overwhelmed very easily and you've had lots of overwhelming to anybody situations recently. Please be kind to yourself, you are dealing with so much. (((Hugs)))
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#10
May 31, 2017, 04:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Lilypup I am right there with you. I turned 60 this year and feel like I have no purpose and I have no interest in being social. Gosh, I sure have changed alot!! It is very scarry sitting around and waiting for something to happen with my physical health as well.
|
| Moose72, Wild Coyote
|
|
#11
May 31, 2017, 04:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Tired and unmotivated has been the face of many of my depressions.
I think it sucked even more because I wasn't actively feeling depressed, just checked out of life, and didn't know how to check back in or where to get the energy to do so. My point is, don't be so quick to dismiss what you're experiencing, IME, it causes me to get stuck there. As they say, nothing changes if nothing changes.
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#12
May 31, 2017, 04:53 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
How would you feel about exercising indoors? I enjoy doing workouts that are offered for free on Youtube. A good one for people of all fitness levels are any of the walking workouts with Leslie Sansone, and there are several available for free on Youtube. That way you get moving and don't even need to leave the comfort of your home!
|
| Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#13
May 31, 2017, 05:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thanks scared and everyone else for the ideas and support.
I just got back from my pdoc. She increased my gabapentin and said I could take Klonopin. She says to think "happy thoughts" and be grateful for what I have. That I can walk, that I can breathe, that my daughter has two good jobs, that my son is doing so well (like a miracle) on Lexapro, and that my husband is getting better. Sometimes I want to slap her as it is hard to think "happy thoughts". She also says I need variety in my life. Get this: I should clean out my spice cupboard and maybe a closet, and write a book. Gee. I need to get out more. No kidding. I'm really not stupid. I know I need to get out more. Today I did go to the doctor and to the drugstore. This story gets better. I have a birthday coming up in June on a Friday. This is the day of my regular therapist's appointment. This is also the day my CBT therapist can squeeze me in due to her summer hours. It's also the day I need to see my pdoc again so she can monitor my gabapentin and give me rexulti samples. (The pharmacy rep comes on Friday mornings so we get the samples. It saves us a ton of money.) So I will see three psych docs on my birthday. This is my life.
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
| Anonymous45023, BipolaRNurse, Wild Coyote
|
|
#14
May 31, 2017, 06:11 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I've had doctor's appointments on my birthday, my husband's birthday, and our anniversary. Not fun.
Gratitude may seem like a sucky thing when you're in the pits, but it's been known to help. I have a few hobbies that have fallen by the wayside. Ones that can take up hours of my time. I'm going to school for one of them. Is your hubby doing well enough to do things on his own? My husband was so frustrated after his hernia surgery because he couldn't lift anything and was on some serious pain killers. He kept trying to do things and I had to tell him to sit down. |
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#15
May 31, 2017, 06:19 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Husband is doing much better. He drove me to the doctor today. Still sleeping in the recliner, however.
He won't take any pain pills as he is afraid of addiction. I guess breaking ribs can take a few months to heal.
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#16
May 31, 2017, 06:52 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You do not have a worthless life.... this is Bipolar lying
The only thing that Bipolar is consistent about is it Always cycles, always. It will spit you out the other side. ((((hugs))))
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#17
May 31, 2017, 07:25 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Text me if you need to talk, hon.
__________________
DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#18
Jun 01, 2017, 11:28 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I woke up irritated this morning and decided to fight a little bit. I am in the middle of three loads of laundry and I got a shower. It's better than nothing.
Husband works from home and is on his computer. He is doing better.
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
| Wild Coyote
|
| BipolaRNurse, ~Christina
|
|
#19
Jun 01, 2017, 12:11 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#20
Jun 01, 2017, 01:03 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Sometimes we can put up a fight!
And when we can, we do! Congrats! WC |
|
#21
Jun 01, 2017, 01:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Good for you !!!
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
|
#22
Jun 01, 2017, 01:29 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
This is a wonderful suggestion! Your suggestion reminded me that body movement and posture can change our emotions. I'm going to check out Leslie's Youtubes. Thanks! WC |
|
#23
Jun 01, 2017, 02:47 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
awesome! 
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#24
Jun 01, 2017, 03:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Good news...I do not have diabetes.
The measure for pre-diabetes is 5.6 My level is 5.7 My weight doctor assures me as I lose weight this level will go back down to normal. It is such a relief!
__________________
Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
| Anonymous45023, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
| BipolaRNurse
|
|
#25
Jun 01, 2017, 03:25 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Yay!
 WC |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
