[liveforsummer]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Feeling depressed. At lunch with friends. Food no here. Almost 18 yo through it in my face and took off down the street from the restaurant a group of us are at. Nobody is noticing me any way. It's too loud to here for one thing. I don't know the way home. Yeah.

Hey Moose you ok? Safe?

[hopeless2015]

Motivation is leaving lol, only 2 more hours though. I'm ready to start my weekend. I skipped lunch and we are meeting friends for dinner, I'm going to eat like a pig!!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Hey Moose you ok? Safe?

I just feel numb in the pit of my being. Home now. Waiting for youngest to get home an hour and a half after I told him. At least he answered the phone. He's almost 16 I know he needs his freedom but I'm a worried bipolar mom.

I'm safe yes but just anxious. And never any Klonopin. Sigh

[liveforsummer]

Possible trigger:

took a nosedive this afternoon. Wanted to drive my car off a cliff just to feel free soaring through the air. Frustrated. Want to throw things and break things. At this moment I just don't give a flying s**t about anything.

I really don't like when summer is coming to an end

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Possible trigger:

took a nosedive this afternoon. Wanted to drive my car off a cliff just to feel free soaring through the air. Frustrated. Want to throw things and break things. At this moment I just don't give a flying s**t about anything.

I really don't like when summer is coming to an end

Please stay safe.

Any plans tonight? This weekend?

You are on my mind.

WC

[wildflowerchild25]

So, I went to get a physical for my new job. Shocker, she wouldn't clear me due to my mental health history. I'm so pissed. I need to get my pdoc to fill out a form saying I'm fit for work. Of course she's not in until Monday. I was supposed to start training on Wednesday but at this rate I won't even be able to start when school starts! I hate disclosing my mental illness. I even lied and said depression not bipolar. I should have lied outright and not even put down that I was on meds.

So I wanted to get a tattoo or piercing but i decided not to be impulsive and just made a consultation appointment for my next big tattoo. This one will cover the scarring on my right forearm and I can finally put that hell behind me. I've got hundreds of scars everywhere else but it's my arms that I see every day and that other people stare at sometimes.

Oh, and there's a water main break down the street so I have no water. Hopefully we will have water by the morning.

[xRavenx]

I seem to be getting increasingly depressed. People at work must wonder what's wrong with me. I see signs that they are picking up on the fact that I am tired all the time, I talk slower, walk slower, don't feel like talking much or being around people. I'm just so....blah and feeling down. Things I thought I've moved past are popping up again in my thoughts, and I'm having bad dreams. I think I'll just stay away from everything this weekend.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I seem to be getting increasingly depressed. People at work must wonder what's wrong with me. I see signs that they are picking up on the fact that I am tired all the time, I talk slower, walk slower, don't feel like talking much or being around people. I'm just so....blah and feeling down. Things I thought I've moved past are popping up again in my thoughts, and I'm having bad dreams. I think I'll just stay away from everything this weekend.

That describes me when I was hospitalized a few years ago. I had no idea I was depressed until they told me so and pointed out my symptoms.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Possible trigger:

took a nosedive this afternoon. Wanted to drive my car off a cliff just to feel free soaring through the air. Frustrated. Want to throw things and break things. At this moment I just don't give a flying s**t about anything.

I really don't like when summer is coming to an end

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Are you going to be ok? I'm here if you need to talk.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Possible trigger:

took a nosedive this afternoon. Wanted to drive my car off a cliff just to feel free soaring through the air. Frustrated. Want to throw things and break things. At this moment I just don't give a flying s**t about anything.

I really don't like when summer is coming to an end

(((Hugs))) so sorry that you're struggling. Please take care of yourself.

[Altarian]

Another day in purgatory....

[bpforever1]

I am tired. I've been working almost daily and need a rest. Today, I have a day off but need to do chores. I like being busy but at times would like to do nothing. I am working on Sundays too. I am ok with it as long as I don't have symptoms which I don't. I am plain exhausted though. May be, it is a good tired. I am not that stressed. I have so much to do now. I feel blessed about this. Five years ago, I was fighting for my survival on the streets. Now, I just keep busy and am doing fine. Life is not bad. I am grateful for what I have. I cannot complain. Despite having some problems with some aspects of Japanese society- being ripped off, I am doing quite well. I am doing everything on my own. Nobody in my family is in Japan now. Sometimes, it is lonely but I don't feel alone. I am so busy I don't even think about being lonely. Also,my having two lovers is nice too. hahahahaa One of them came by last night. We had fun. I am having a good time here in Japan in general. I am hoping I can last through the "busyness". I sometimes worry about feeling stressed but am not so far. Just tired. I am 50 years old and realize my age is creeping up on me. hahahahaaha I'll be ok though. I am happy overall.

[Wander]

After TMS I spent the day out of hospital with my ex-husband (long story) on day leave. Although I am really depressed right now it was helpful getting out, going out for lunch and walking on the beach. Now the day is over the depression is rushing in again. Tomorrow I have to study then have visitors and might even make it to the gym. Keeping busy seems to keep the dark thoughts at bay. Yet, it also exhausts me. Having to interact, study and do things really burns my brain out, leaving me more depressed. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do.

[liveforsummer]

Rough morning but okay now. Have my pdoc screening with nurse this week to see if all my symptoms/ups and downs warrant seeing the pdoc. This appt has been a long time coming.

And I'm happy with my tattoo.

[hopeless2015]

Stayed out till 2am, I'm to old for that ****. Went out to lunch at 1 and got groceries done. Time for a nap

[Unrigged64072835]

My birthday was a lot of fun. Spent a whole day with my husband. That doesn't happen much anymore.

My nerve block yesterday was only a trial run. I'll get the real deal mid September.

I'm withdrawing from one of my classes. Both classes require a lot of mental work and I can't do that with using muscle relaxers.

Mood's been good. Hope it doesn't go to crap tomorrow.

[liveforsummer]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FHARRAIGE

[wildflowerchild25]

I had a good day today. Usually saturdays are boring as hell but I went to my brother's house to drop something off and ended up talking to my sister in law for a couple of hours. Took my son to lunch, cleaned the house, and then my other sister in law came up. Second weekend not drinking. It was strange but doable. I also did much better with cigarettes today. A little over half a pack. Much better than a pack and a half.

[bizi]

I ended up getting a back facial. Which was really nice. They give you a back massage too!
I was a happy girl.
Monday I will cancel my treatment at the spa.
I am not ready to spend hundreds of dollars just yet.

We went to a gathering tonight at jeffs best friends apartment.
He made chicken and sausage gumbo(the gumbo was very good!)
and we met a new faculty member and his wife.
They were very nice people. I had a few beers so my social anxiety did not get the best of me.
bizi

Carbamazepine!

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

My birthday was a lot of fun. Spent a whole day with my husband. That doesn't happen much anymore.

My nerve block yesterday was only a trial run. I'll get the real deal mid September.

I'm withdrawing from one of my classes. Both classes require a lot of mental work and I can't do that with using muscle relaxers.

Mood's been good. Hope it doesn't go to crap tomorrow.

Happy Birthday!!!

I think you made the right decision to drop a class. Less stress and more chance to do better in your other one. What class is the one you are keeping?

[jmariah001]

Feel a little better then I did when I posted my last post on here. Still having problems with sleeping and dreams. I don't see my pdoc until September 15th. But I will tell her about the change in my mood. I hope she will adjust my meds. I know I don't want to take ambien again. It left me feeling hungover the next day. Fall coming has my mood dropping like a stone. I usually get this way in the middle of September but this year it has already started. Should go and try and sleep now. Have a baby shower to go to later today. Good night all.

[-Astral-]

meant to be going to church soon **** knows if am going to be able to keep my mind on the service

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Assonance!


Anyone who tells you I quit vaporizing trim is lying.

Is "vaping trim" a euphemism?

[wildflowerchild25]

Already down today. Questioning my life choices. Wondering how I ended up a thirty year old single mom living with my mom, watching everyone else my age start their lives with their partners in their own houses. I've got nothing. Not true, I have my son and I love him. But other than that....

I don't even want to start my new job.

I'm tired of not knowing who I'll be in the morning. It's like I'm hungover but I didn't even drink. So I guess Sad Sunday is just my thing.