[sonjaward809]

I'm doing okay-ish today, I'm having some severe lower back pain. Other than that I just started watching Game of Thrones .. and omg it's soo good! I can't believe I waited soo long to start the show. I'm just chilling at home today, not much to really do since I cleaned everything yesterday. I see my pdoc in a week and I'm kind of nervous to tell him what I'm experiencing. Hopefully he increases the dosage on some of my medications, I think that will help with my residual symptoms and anxiety. Nothing has worked on my anxiety though, so maybe he will change that medication completely.

How is ya'lls day going?

Originally Posted by Nammu

Mum is in their hands. Nothing to do but wait while they do the procedure and maybe put more stents in. They've made this pretty routine but mum is 89 so it could be tricky. Trying hard to distract myself with my iPad. Mahjong is a great game!

I'll m thinking of you and your mom Nammu. Please keep us posted. (((Hugs)))

[Nammu]

She's out. The procedure went fine, they found some blockage but decided not to do the Sint. So in about and hour or so she'll be discharged. We'll be going back to my sisters as she's supposed to stay within 30 minutes of the hospital tonight.

[Guiness187055]

Originally Posted by Nammu

She's out. The procedure went fine, they found some blockage but decided not to do the Sint. So in about and hour or so she'll be discharged. We'll be going back to my sisters as she's supposed to stay within 30 minutes of the hospital tonight.

Glad everything worked out!!

[scatterbrained04]

Bit of a rough day at work. Had a panic attack. So much going on right now between work and my son going back to school. He's been going to a behavioral school since 2nd grade. Now not only is he starting middle school, he's going back into a regular school. I'm sure he'll be fine though. I'm on overwhelm right now just trying not to lose my s***.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Thanks, after all this time they just finally took her back. Should be over with and an hour and a half. All this waiting is what is hard!

I felt that way with my husband's hernia surgery. I didn't even go back until all the other people in the front went home. Hope your mom feels better and has a smooth recovery.

Been tired and with a headache all day. Last night my husband saw a bug bite on my shoulder blade. I hope that's not the cause. I also had my eyes dilated this afternoon, so being light-sensitive didn't help either. Whatever this is I hope it's over tomorrow as we have stuff to do.

Mood is down because I'm not feeling well. I hope this will pass soon.

[bizi]

Tonight will be the first night that I choose to not drink any alcohol.
bizi

Originally Posted by bizi

Tonight will be the first night that I choose to not drink any alcohol.
bizi

Way to go Bizi!!! You've got this! I'm super happy for you and glad things are leveling out. Well done!

[xRavenx]

I almost felt like I was dissociating on my way home from work driving. I have this built up rage, and it's hard to even have an outlet to release it. I have been getting teary at different points during the day, and it's embarrassing, but luckily I was in private. Everything is so overwhelming lately.

[Lifeischallenging]

I wonder what life would be like if we had no mental illness such as Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, etc. or what it would even be like in a world without physical illness such as cancer, AIDs, etc. Other than my negative thought here, things have been pretty good. Work is going pretty well for me. Haven't had much chance to look at colleges over there and here. Mainly because they are also on. I still don't accept the idea that they "live" with me. Right now, I am watching a movie. Might calm me down. I mean I've done a lot of research on colleges and there rooms, but I would also like to request info. The only time I ever get to go on is now. Half this stuff with me is mine. The computer is mine. The tv and cable are mine. I still have plans for that, but right now they are on hold. Other than that, I have been fine. My depression is under control and my mood tends to flare up sometimes.

I broke my phone today....probably too much posting. I got to talk to my son for the first time since dropping him off and it was wonderful. When I dropped him off last week he said he didn't want visitors and now he's looking forward to me coming to visit this weekend.....I can't wait to see him. My son is making more sense now and making plans for the future that are reasonable. A complete 180 from a week ago. It's too soon to know if a lasting change will happen but I'm ever so grateful to hear the sweetness back in my sons voice. My heart is singing. The last few weeks have been hell on earth but today all the fighting I've done to get my son help proved fruitful. Thank you so much for the hugs everyone whose given them....they mean more to me than you probably even realize. Kindness means so much to me. (((Hugs)))

[Wander]

Saw my T today. He believes I'm hypomanic, I know I'm a bit up but not sure it's that much. We talked about my coarseload at university. I'm enrolled in two units but feel that plus work may be too much after being so ill. We decided I go to my second unit this afternoon and see how I felt. After ten minutes I knew I would be better off dropping the unit as it will require a lot of me both emotionally and mentally. It is Poetry. So I'm going to stick to advanced grammar and spend my free time healing.

Still IP but hoping to get discharged early next week. The pdoc and T want me stable for a few days before letting me go home. I miss being at home, I miss the beach and I miss my beautiful bed. Really hoping I stabilise and don't crash into deep depression as has been my pattern over the last few weeks.

[bizi]

It sounds like you are thinking things through the enthusiast!

I am happy for you elsa...Have a good weekend visiting your son!
Take care of yourself, you have been through so much.(((((HUGS)))))

Sending you some good thoughts today wander.
bizi

[Sunflower123]

Still having a tough time with my daughter's move to college. I know, enough already. Just adjust and move on. She is my only child and has been my sole purpose for all these years. It has kept me alive. We're fighting more then usual...she thinks I'm acting weird and I think she is. My pdoc and tdoc were certain I would have to go IP when she left. To everyone's surprise, I've been hanging in there. I guess I should be grateful for small victories.

It seems like so many of us are struggling. Sending big hugs

[hopeless2015]

Well it's 3:20 and I've almost made it through the day. Still spending a lot of time checking psych central throughout the day. I've decided I'm going to stop and get a haircut after work today, actually excited about it. I wore my hair down today and it just looks terrible. So over grown and thick!! I don't even remember when my last haircut was, it's been a long time though. Anyway, hugs to everyone!!

[Unrigged64072835]

Hugs to all who need them.

Classes and books are paid for. Monthly church donation is sent. Spent a lot of time on the main campus. It was really weird, and I felt the pangs of a panic attack coming on. Just trying to work through it. My husband was there as well, but it didn't help much.

Dinner is on the stove. It'll take over an hour to cook but I started early so it'll be okay.

Mood is, well, moody right now. Just a jumble.

[gina_re]

Back from IP. They kept me for about a week and upped my meds. It was much needed, I wasn't safe to be home. But now that I'm back, the stress of life is coming back at me and it makes me want to cry.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by gina_re

Back from IP. They kept me for about a week and upped my meds. It was much needed, I wasn't safe to be home. But now that I'm back, the stress of life is coming back at me and it makes me want to cry.

Welcome back. Readjusting to real life can be tough, especially when you're adjusting meds at the same time.

[Sunflower123]

I have a friend who passed away from a boating accident Sunday when he came into contact with the propeller while wakeboarding. This was a really great, very much loved guy who didn't deserve to go out that way or go out so young. I'm trying hard to process it but I'm really, really upset about it. The celebration of his life is tomorrow. I feel terrible for his family and keep wishing if only someone could turn back time and do things differently. I know it doesn't work that way but I can't get it out of my head. Thanks for letting me get some of the pain out.

[Lifeischallenging]

Originally Posted by TheHPEnthusiast1987

I wonder what life would be like if we had no mental illness such as Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, etc. or what it would even be like in a world without physical illness such as cancer, AIDs, etc. Other than my negative thought here, things have been pretty good. Work is going pretty well for me. Haven't had much chance to look at colleges over there and here. Mainly because they are also on. I still don't accept the idea that they "live" with me. Right now, I am watching a movie. Might calm me down. I mean I've done a lot of research on colleges and there rooms, but I would also like to request info. The only time I ever get to go on is now. Half this stuff with me is mine. The computer is mine. The tv and cable are mine. I still have plans for that, but right now they are on hold. Other than that, I have been fine. My depression is under control and my mood tends to flare up sometimes.

I know I sound selfish on that part, but it is true. They are supposed to be getting their feet back on the ground and finding a place. My mom is the one who makes it seems as though they live with me and they don't.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I have a friend who passed away from a boating accident Sunday when he came into contact with the propeller while wakeboarding. This was a really great, very much loved guy who didn't deserve to go out that way or go out so young. I'm trying hard to process it but I'm really, really upset about it. The celebration of his life is tomorrow. I feel terrible for his family and keep wishing if only someone could turn back time and do things differently. I know it doesn't work that way but I can't get it out of my head. Thanks for letting me get some of the pain out.

(((Hugs))). I'm so sorry for your loss, Jennifer. That is so tragic.

Today has been a rough day.....I'm so easily overwhelmed in life.....my ability to serve myself and my future has been compromised for far too long and nothing I do seems to change it or increase my ability to function past the frustration. I get overwhelmed and can't do even the simplest of tasks no matter how much coping and positive self talk I engage in. It's too much....I'm angry about it. I know I can't help it so being angry at myself isn't where I go......I feel angry at random weird things like aliens, people who have nothing to do with my current situation, people in general, life as a whole. Why am I here? Not on PC but this earth? Who is to blame besides my parents I wonder? What is the meaning of all this and why can't I be privy to the information I seek? Who the heck put us here and are they torturing me intentionally or am I looking to blame when it's all just random blobs of randomness? Why do I over think everything? Why do I care so much....why why? Why, why, why? I got a new phone and I'm lucky but it's such a pain in the arse to figure out....I lost valuable data on my old phone because I'm too stupid to keep a backup or important information. It will work itself out I imagine but my body hurts from all this tension from being overwhelmed....I hate being angry.....nobody is inclined to want to help angry people and I'm not stupid enough anymore to think I can make it without help. I need to go to my parents tonight to write a letter to my grandparents, informing them my parents can no longer take care of them. They need to go into assisted living and that is breaking my heart. I don't want to do it but I really need to. *SCREAM*. I need to scream......to get this ugliness out of me. I wish it were safe for me to drive but it's not safe when I'm upset.....I'd like to drive to the country and scream and cuss and stomp and curse. Thank you for letting me vent. Sorry I needed to unload. I think I need another hot bath to calm my nerves and soothe my bones and muscles.

[porcelainboy]

I've been straying way too far from my diet lately. I think I've gained back all the weight I lost or even more, but I'm too scared to check for sure. My nutritionist will be upset with me in 2 weeks.

My girlfriend and I went through a rough patch recently due to a huge misunderstanding on both of our ends. I think we've resolved it now, but I made a huge mistake by not telling her I was slipping again. She thought I was sleeping all the time because I wanted to avoid her, and it hurts to know that she was hurting so much and I didn't know. I want to help her feel better.

I'm "breaking up" with my second therapist tomorrow, the one that insisted water and coconut oil can cure bipolar. I'm trying to collect my thoughts on what all I need to say.

[bizi]

5 more clients to see today then our mini vacation to the beach!
(Friday thru sunday, 2 nights)
I see multiple bush whackers in my immediate future.
Was Alcohol free last night again = AF
It feels so good having control over this.
I did not get on the computer last night(more self control) after getting in from visiting a girl friend in the evening. I chose to go snuggle with Jeff before bed.
I went over to Susans house and we talked a long time.
Then we watched part of an old movie "Anne of Green Gables"
So far I really like the movie!
It is 3 hours and 15 minutes long, we watched an hour of it.
We each had a 100 calorie bag of pop corn,(more self control).
I like mine burnt a little.
lol
I have to get ready for work this morning.
Have to leave in 45 minutes so have some more time on here.
Have a good day Yall!
bizi

[liveforsummer]

I'm home, I'm home, "there's no place like home"!
I have to stop denying my fragile mental health. That was the most anxious and stressed I've ever been on vacation. I did have some good days but I gotta sort myself out before I ever consider going away again. It takes everything in me to not lose my s**t when sitting on a plane waiting to take off as well which compounds it all. Got home last night and completely fell apart. Was bottled up for 12 days.
Hugs hugs to everyone in need !