[bizi]

Hubby has prepped for tonights cook out for friends.
BBQ Pork kebobs and separate veggie kebobs, store bought but he created a marinade and he has been basting them every hour or so. Lots of garlic smells wonderful. Store bought pasta salad, he sliced strawberries and added raspberries and blue berries.
Yummy!
Our guest come over at 6:30.
These are newish friends of ours.
They have either given us food or have had one of us over for dinner. I felt we needed to have them over.
I think she is making a blue berry cheese cake...It will be very hard to resist since I am on a diet!
bizi

[Nammu]

Did laundry yesterday. Tomorrow go over to my sisters so mum can be closer to the mayo clinic where they're going to do a heart catherizaion Tuesday morn. I'm trying not to worry about it, but mum is 89 and the risks go up with age. The heart doc said her tests showed she's had a heart attack at least once since last year. She's the heart of the family, without her we'll just drift apart. Breathe, breathe, in out........om om omm

[Guiness187055]

Sending out thoughts and prayers Nammu!!

[soundofhumm]

hey long time lurker here for maybe 2 yrs. im feeling very down everything just seems to not be going well. first time ever posting. hi guys. it feels strange posting for once. and hopefully the other lurkers will come out the shadows

[xRavenx]

Drained. I've been crying, in a lot of emotional pain, so much anxiety, especially panicky feelings in my chest. I took a Klonopin, and I'm feeling tired, but not in a way where I can just go to sleep.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by soundofhumm

hey long time lurker here for maybe 2 yrs. im feeling very down everything just seems to not be going well. first time ever posting. hi guys. it feels strange posting for once. and hopefully the other lurkers will come out the shadows

Welcome sorry you are having a rough time.
Glad to see you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Did laundry yesterday. Tomorrow go over to my sisters so mum can be closer to the mayo clinic where they're going to do a heart catherizaion Tuesday morn. I'm trying not to worry about it, but mum is 89 and the risks go up with age. The heart doc said her tests showed she's had a heart attack at least once since last year. She's the heart of the family, without her we'll just drift apart. Breathe, breathe, in out........om om omm

I am sorry my dear.
Will be thinking about your mom and sending good energy her way.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by soundofhumm

hey long time lurker here for maybe 2 yrs. im feeling very down everything just seems to not be going well. first time ever posting. hi guys. it feels strange posting for once. and hopefully the other lurkers will come out the shadows

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Did laundry yesterday. Tomorrow go over to my sisters so mum can be closer to the mayo clinic where they're going to do a heart catherizaion Tuesday morn. I'm trying not to worry about it, but mum is 89 and the risks go up with age. The heart doc said her tests showed she's had a heart attack at least once since last year. She's the heart of the family, without her we'll just drift apart. Breathe, breathe, in out........om om omm

Will be thinking of your mom and you.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[bizi]

Woke up achy this morning. and did not sleep as well.
I only had one beer last night and went to bed early.
Got to sleep right away.
Maybe I should just chalk it up to menopause.
I was hoping that I would wake up feeling great again....
oh well.

Have a shrimp boil to look forward to tonight.
With some colleagues of jeffs. should be fun.

bizi

[bpforever1]

I was sleepy most of the day and slept until I had to go to work. Thankfully, I had only one class tonight. I am doing ok otherwise. Ever since I was bitten by mosquitoes, I've been sleepy. I hope it wears off. I don't have any other symptoms. I am just sleepy. I don't think it is anything major. Also, I feel pretty good now. I hope tomorrow I am not as sleepy.

[liveforsummer]

I seem to have found a sense of stability on this vacation. Still looking forward to going home Wednesday though.

[hopeless2015]

Well it's Monday and I always struggle with Monday mornings. I'm doing ok though, just don't want to be here at work but that's not unusual for me. Trying to just power through. Husband had to nudge me to get out of bed this morning but I did it lol. I was starting to think bad thoughts and think about not getting up. Once I was showered and out the door I felt ok though. Many times I've let those thoughts take over so I'm glad I just got up and moved on today. I missed 2 days last week with that cough and ended up at convenient care so I really don't need to miss any more time this pay period. I'll probably have some unpaid time on my next check as it is. I'm totally rambling on here lol

[bioChE]

My Monday has gone pretty well thus far. Got up, showered, and came to work. I've gotten quite a bit done today, which is always a good thing. My facility is being inspected by Korea, so that's always a busy time around here. Went to a baseball game with the family last evening. We had box seats that a friend had gotten for us, so that was cool. After the game the kids got autographs. They really enjoyed it.
Looking forward to a good evening at home with the family.

Holy Mixture of States! Lefty's a mess, and for once, Lefty isn't lying. If LEFCON 0 is "Call 911." and LEFCON 10 is "Call 911.", I'm oscillating between LEFCON 3 and LEFCON 7, and that isn't any fun. I still feel cheated by my unreasonably brief hypomania after nine months of depression, but I'm certain that to those around me my descent feels just fine.

I can accomplish the occasional burst of physical exertion but I often start crying for no apparent reason, a past hypomanic symptom which isn't a good look for a middle-aged man. We are paying someone to complete all the dangerous and unfinished projects that I had planned on addressing once my energy returned, because here you are only allowed one fall. Seroquel gives me bad dreams every single night. I'm going to ask my psychiatrist if there is a road back to the dreams of lithium.



A carved schist head of Gautama Buddha, Gandhara, an ancient kingdom situated in the northwestern region of Pakistan around Peshawar, 3rd-4th century.

As well-illustrated by this image, Gandhara is considered the meeting point of Eastern and Western sculptural styles.

[Guiness187055]

Pretty good day. The wife got a new job so she quit her current one. It will be a lot less stress for her. My mood was pretty stable for the most part. I have a little anger creep in from time to time but I know how to deal with it without it showing. Went shopping and cooked bbq ribs for dinner tonight. Gonna kick back and watch baseball.

I've been doing dangerous things....thinking dangerous things. I upped my dose of AP but not seeing the point since I won't make it anyways. I was never meant to be here and people keep reminding me of that fact. I try to make things better....try to improve things for myself and others but I just make them worse. Thoughts turn to actions and I'm trying to think positive but they won't allow that. They want me to die. That won't end no matter what I do.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm trying to look at the responsibility I have made for myself. I can't back out of now. I'm scared but can not show it. My husband thinks I'm fine. He doesn't do well knowing I'm ****ed up. We have 3 days to clean the house and fix the toilet. I have to be happy, outgoing and social for about a week this is to much for me. why can't I be hyper right now. I hate BP stole my life.

I'm sorry about my post earlier.....I took a bath....had a good deep cry and got some feelings out and now feel a smudge better. I'm really suffering badly but wrote my doctor, increased my meds and will wait and see. Things with my son have improved and he is staying in the programs......I think I've been getting by on pure anxiety filed energy....now I'm depleted and my body and mind are bottoming out.....I need to ride this wave until smooth waters rise again. (((Hugs)))

[Wander]

Still IP and slightly hypomanic. Was almost locked up on the weekend but I suddenly cycled to hypo with no med changed late Sunday. Weird how my brain is doing this to me. My pdoc won't discharge me until I stabilise enough to be safe. I am fed up with hospital but know I need to be here. At least the last two days have been much better. My nurses and pdoc think its a little too much better but I will take it over depression any day, as long as I don't go full blown manic.

Had my first class at university for the semester today. (it actually started last week but I missed it due to my health). It went well. I was overwhelmed by the workload and having another class tomorrow frightens me as I wonder if I can deal with the pressures of studying and working. I am thinking of dropping a unit. Will talk to my T about this tomorrow.

As for me right now, all is well. I feel great, hopeful even.

[-Astral-]

Very low really struggling to the point of suicide ...had my meds put up could take a month before they take affect

[hopeless2015]

Really struggled to get out of bed this morning but I did it and I'm glad I did. I feel ok now that I'm showered and at work. I wish I liked my job better, I gave great co worker's just don't like my job very much. Like I have said though, I'm kind of stuck here. Don't get me wrong I'm grateful that I do have a job, just whining I guess. Hugs to everyone!!

[Nammu]

Mum is in their hands. Nothing to do but wait while they do the procedure and maybe put more stents in. They've made this pretty routine but mum is 89 so it could be tricky. Trying hard to distract myself with my iPad. Mahjong is a great game!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Mum is in their hands. Nothing to do but wait while they do the procedure and maybe put more stents in. They've made this pretty routine but mum is 89 so it could be tricky. Trying hard to distract myself with my iPad. Mahjong is a great game!

I hope the procedure goes smoothly and that your mom is okay. Thinking of you.

[Nammu]

Thanks, after all this time they just finally took her back. Should be over with and an hour and a half. All this waiting is what is hard!