Questions Bipolar Version 3

I'd guess a lot based on posts here in the past. I don't have any. I have a big birthmark that always seemed close enough.

What is the first sign you are getting manic?

A crash in appetite and an inability to sleep.

Shouldn't the plural of Valium be Valia?

Sounds good.

Q. How many times can your mood switch in 24 hours?

Now - several weeks without a switch
In mirtazapine hell - every couple of hours

Were you diagnosed bipolar at the very start of your treatment?

Nope. Anxiety + depression

Q. How do you know for sure what your true thoughts are?

I struggle with this quite a lot.

what are my thoughts, and what's the illness?

I think for me, 1 thing that helps is trying to step back... trying to think well hang on a moment, what's happened so far in this situation, and would I, want this to actually happen. do I have this thought out. do I have the strength to do this?
also, how much attention i'm actually paying to the situation at hand

is it a fleating, quick thought?

or is it staying their. is it longterm, am I taking it seriously?

when you are irritable, how do you tend to show it?. do you show it through actions, or do you show it through another way, such as distruction

When I'm irritable I have a very short fuse and yell a lot. Luckily since my lamictal I barely feel grumpy like that anymore.
Q: have you ever tried going med free?

Yes, I have tried to go med-free.
It's not in my best interest. I honestly don't think I'd live very long.

Question: Have you made some close friends online?

Most definitely! There's so many kind, supportive and caring people on PC

Q. What's the biggest screw up a doc has ever done with your meds?

probably not giving me enough of what I need, so then i'm at a point i'm struggling even more and don't have an appointment for ages.

do you feel embarrassed about taking medication?, or do you accept why

Not embarassed of the antidepressant but unsure. I just thought I was dealing with depression and I havent accepted the bipolar possibility completely yet I think the need for a mood stabilizer is more embarassing for some reason.

Do you have bipolar in your family?

No not in my immediate family. But my Mum's Cousins 3 times removed their kids have bipolar so it runs through my Mum's side. Nothing on my Dad's side

Question: If you can't take Anti-Depresants due to sending you manic how do you manage the depression?

I like to play online games with my friend tara.

it's not a complete cure, hell... it's not even close, but she has mental illness as well, and when 2 MI people get together, it's magic- when we can help each other.

trust me, I know.

when I used to talk to Bethany, not only did she introduce me to so much during the highs she had, but during the lows, all we had was each other, and it meant a lot to both of us to give support.

question: when someone you like or who helps you is away or not around to talk, how do you cope with that?

i'll answer (I originally posted because tara is away this weekend celebrating her birthday and I am struggling)

anyway, in the case of tara being away, she's given me a cd with her singing on it (and she sings beautifully!)

anyway, listening to her sing the sound of music helps me cope (I like to pretend she's next to me too!)

as for anyone else, just keep in contact with other friends that know them... so I know they are okay.

I used to have a real problem with letting people go away for weekends and stuff, because I always got the impression they'd never come back (i'm doing a bit better with it now though), and as long as I know someone who knows the person, I guess it's okay.

question:

have you ever just got rid of your meds (thrown them out, in the trash, what ever), because you just didn't want to take them

more times than I can count

Do you think this disorder can go away by itself. I mean, I don't see a lot of 70-80 year olds dealing with it and I have worked in long term care before.

to be fair, I've never actually heard someone say,

"I used to deal with bipolar disorder"

I imagine it's just how well it's handled

you know.. it's still their, but because it's handled really well, you don't really notice it
question:

how do you feel about stability?. do you think you're going to reach a day when people don't even notice the illness you have?

I have reached "periods" of wellness and stability but they just don't last forever like you think they will when you are in them.

Do you notice a total sudden shift in thoughts and the way the world appears when beginning an episode or are you plunged blindly into one?

usually quite sudden

actually quite alarming at how fast it happens

(and I agree with your other answer)

question:

what has been the most pointless thing you have purchased while manic (and do you still have it?)

Hmm gotta jog the memory for that one. Its been a while since I was full manic and I would find bags and bags of stuff tucked away after the episode had come to an end
Pointless? a lot of things. the first thing off the top of my head would be hundreds of dollars spent at the party store for a Mardi Gras party I had no plan in having but got stuck with a lot of weird purple and gold decorations in to look at when the depression hit.
I planned a lot of spur of the moment parties that I would buy and buy for and not have. Spent crazy money on too. sigh. Not the biggest but definitely pointless. Like what do I do with all these st patricks day hats and fake green leprechaun moustaches now? Its the thought that counts lol


is your manic spending limited by your income?

Yes, definitely. I'm a single mom living mostly paycheck to paycheck. When I was younger, I used to put it all on credit cards. I ended up with about $19,000 in debt. Have been paying on it and still owe $12,000. So I really watch it now and no longer have credit cards.

What do you do during the night when you can't sleep?

most of the time I end up watching tv, or I read

that's if i'm not having issues with helusinations or what ever

(I have seen so many infomercials at 3 A.M in the morning)

question:

how well do you know your triggers?. do you know them all or are their still ones you've not quite figured out

Still learning them. Some songs, sometimes movies/tv , overstimulation or taking on far too much but it still seems more often than not nothing in particular, other than maybe someone found my on/off switch.

Q. Anyone in your life know you are on PC ? Family , friends, pdoc? Are they supportive of it as a tool?

yes.... and no

I try to keep my use of the forum a secret, I know if certain people found out they would.... would well, hurt me

some people know that I use a forum, and I've shown a few people the site (while I've been logged off)

nno one knows my username though so even if they did sign up, they wouldn't know which posts are mine

is psychcentral the only internet forum you use for MI support?

Yes. First time I've ever particated in anything online. Only my husband knows but he doesn't know my username etc (he's never asked) he likely doesn't remember the name of this forum.

Q. How much would it affect/bother you if your identity were revealed to the people in your life? (I think I'd be fine, that it would almost be cathartic to say look, this is the real me and here's people that understand and support totally on PC )

I think it would affect me a lot and send me in to constant panic.

when you start to crash, what helps you know that you will come up again eventually.