[scatterbrained04]

Feeling somewhat depressed today and feeling very anxious. Having SI and urges to SH. This all came out of left field.

[Naynay99]

Slowly cleaning up. Feel a little bit better today. Taking a break before re I tackle the dish disaster that awaits me in the kitchen. But I want to make spaghetti squash for dinner tonite and can't until I clean the kitchen so hopefully that will help motivate me.

Hope everyone is okay.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m short on the medicine which is the only thing that helps me sleep at night. I’m short because of my gastric issues (I throw them up and have to take them again). I haven’t slept at all for two days now but feel fine (not sleepy or tired). Insurance will pay for it October 10th so that’s two more days without sleep.

I’ve always questioned my diagnosis because I’ve not (to my knowledge) experienced hypomania or mania. I’d hate to find out the hard way that that’s not true by going 4 days without sleep. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Sorry you are going through this.
Have you tried Benadryl to help induce sleep?


WC

Still feeling down.

The intensity of my depression fluctuates during the day. Sometimes I'm "okay", but other times, I have severe suicidal urges that are hard to fight off. (And when I say "okay", I mean only slightly depressed, but still depressed nonetheless.)

I took a 3.5 hr nap today because I was too tired to stay awake and the suicidal urges were growing more intense. I figured I'd just kill two birds with one stone. The nap gave temporary relief.

[bizi]

Blue, I am sorry you are struggling.
what does your pdoc say about your Suicidal urges? How long has that been going on...sorry I have been gone for 8 days and can't read back.
bizi

[bizi]

It has been an errand day:
trimmed fingernails
picked up3 prescriptions
picked up framed original watercolor from florence Italy at micheals
2 loads of laundry
paid 2 bills
Refilled work supplies
got a TB test needs to be read 48-72 hours
Target for a gift card and 11yo birthday card and delivered to her mail box.
T-coons for brunch...yum
Good Car wash inside and out...bugs galore from the trip
2-year auto inspection sticker
filled up with gas

Left to do:
check book reconciliation
Business bank deposit
shower

Jeff is due home between 7 and 7;30 if he doesn't run into any delays.

bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

It has been an errand day:
trimmed fingernails
picked up3 prescriptions
picked up framed original watercolor from florence Italy at micheals
2 loads of laundry
paid 2 bills
Refilled work supplies
got a TB test needs to be read 48-72 hours
Target for a gift card and 11yo birthday card and delivered to her mail box.
T-coons for brunch...yum
Good Car wash inside and out...bugs galore from the trip
2-year auto inspection sticker
filled up with gas

Left to do:
check book reconciliation
Business bank deposit
shower

Jeff is due home between 7 and 7;30 if he doesn't run into any delays.

bizi

Welcome back!
Missed you!
So glad you've had a fun trip!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Hugs all around!


WC

[bizi]

Holy crap! I forgot to do the august check book reconciliation!!!!!
bizi

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Sorry you are going through this.
Have you tried Benadryl to help induce sleep?


WC

Thanks, that’s a great idea. I’ll try that and some klonopin.

[wildflowerchild25]

Felt great at the AFSP walk and afterward, but feeling down about some situational stuff now. Nothing that bad, which is why it’s so annoying. I shouldn’t be getting myself upset about it. But oh well I guess.

Teacher in service day tomorrow, 6 hours of math training. Ugh. I hope I sleep tonight because otherwise I’m going to be fighting to stay awake.

[Cocosurviving]

My day has been decent. Yesterday I made a “to-do-list”. I tackled a lot yesterday and will continue working on the list this week. My mood has been ok. I had a Netflix night with my oldest daughter yesterday. Today I had a Harry Potter marathon with my youngest daughter. It’s been about two weeks since I’ve had my Zoloft increased. I’m not feeling sad or suicidal. I just feel blah at times or anxiety will kick in.

[dangerousanimals]

Haven't been on here in a long time, but things are getting bad. I think a huge depression episode is starting up. I slept 14 hours today, 12 hours yesterday. Feel like I want to disappear again. Can't do anything to distract myself because my brain is telling me I don't deserve to feel better. All my violent intrusive thoughts (plus some new ones) came back a couple days ago. Can't even smoke or get drunk because that might be entertaining.
I need to schedule therapist and med management appointments, but worry that if I actually go to those they'll want me to go inpatient and I can't do that because I only have 2 weeks left at work before my last day there.

[bizi]

It has been an errand day:
trimmed fingernails
picked up3 prescriptions
picked up framed original watercolor from florence Italy at micheals
2 loads of laundry
paid 2 bills
Refilled work supplies
got a TB test needs to be read 48-72 hours
Target for a gift card and 11yo birthday card and delivered to her mail box.
T-coons for brunch...yum
Good Car wash inside and out...bugs galore from the trip
2-year auto inspection sticker
filled up with gas

Left to do:
check book reconciliation
Business bank deposit
shower

I forgot to do the august check book!!!!!
Had to transfer Monies....
I don't know how that could have happened, just careless I guess.
I hate it when I get that close to bouncing checks....
deposit made, finally took a shower.
Will take my meds and head to bed.
bizi
I did every thing that I wanted to do today.
So am happy about that.
I hope I sleep tonight....

[Naynay99]

Well I did manage to do the dishes. Did some laundry. The house is still a mess but looks much better. Nothing to climb over on the floor anymore! I made dinner. Folded 1
Load of laundry. Grade some papers- not all caught up but getting there. Gonna go make some lunch for tomorrow and then try to go to bed by 12.

Have a good week everyone.

[VerMOZZica]

I`m feeling pretty down today. I woke up late today.My Mom bought me lunch and some of my family came over and I enjoyed chatting with them.When they left I went straight back to bed. As you can imagine I didn`t get much done today.

I’ve been doing very little. I did manage to cook something simple, just a spaghetti-like dish, but that was something. I have the psychiatrist to see in the morning. I don’t have much to say to her. I want to hear the lithium blood draw results. Anxiety and depression are better than last time I saw her three weeks ago.

I so want to feel better

[Lifeischallenging]

I've had a good few weeks. I was only short $1 tonight which pleased me. I still feel conflicted about my sister and brother in law here. They don't seem like they want anything in life. I've noticed no one on here has replied to any of my post to offer support and that makes me feel a little dejected.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Originally Posted by Lifeischallenging

I've had a good few weeks. I was only short $1 tonight which pleased me. I still feel conflicted about my sister and brother in law here. They don't seem like they want anything in life. I've noticed no one on here has replied to any of my post to offer support and that makes me feel a little dejected.

Im sorry you feel no one is offering support. I find on this thread I just read and give hugs and if someone posts their own thread I try to respond. No one responds to my posts on this thread either so I just make my own when I need to and get plenty of support that way. I hope you will consider making a new thread and in the meantime sending hugs

[Spyders129]

New member. Read outline of how to use this forum but I have a hard time concentrating so I'm just gonna jump right in here.

I hope I am in right thread - here's my check

I have recently been diagnosed as bipolar and I am furious. I'm 54 yrs old and I have spent my entire life thinking I was just a bad person when it turns out I'm bipolar.

I've been in/out of therapy for 30 yrs with every diagnosis, every SSRI known to man, starting with Imipromine. I have worked hard to be normal and happy.

I now know that will never happen. I will have black depressions and hyper, embarrassing social nightmares the rest of my life which have led me to my current status of isolation and agoraphobia. I've been suicidal since I was 17 and took 90 flexiral last year. My mom called the fire dept.

Here's my check: I'm exhausted. I hate myself and my effed up horrible life. What is there left to do? What is there left to say to a therapist. Is there more meds other than the 9 pills I take every morning. How do I do another 30 or so years? Who even wants to me hear me whine and moan when I can't stand it myself?

[bpforever1]

I am feeling down but took a shower and feel better. I don't want to do anything. It is apathy or depression. I just feel like blah. I wanted to go to the market but just going down the street will be an achievement today.

[bpforever1]

I'm feeling better now. I went out to McDonald's and ate. Then, I bought some milk and cereal at the local store. I will be ok!!

[bpforever1]

I talked to the man who I was dating and has bipolar too. I did not talk with him for awhile and he was also depressed too. Weird!!! I was hoping he would find someone new. May be he has and is not telling me. But, for now we will continue talking. The problem is that he has erectile dysfunction on top of other problems. I will think about whether I will see him again. He is a really nice man but has many problems like me. May be like attracts like.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

I wish I could stay home from work today. I wanted to wake up feeling as great as I did yesterday. That didn't happen. I'm going to take a shower and get myself moving. Hopefully things will improve.

[hopeless2015]

I didn't sleep at all last night, it dawned on me at some point that I took my morning meds instead of night. Duh!!