Dealing with triggers

Now that Im sober Im starting to have issues when I get triggered and no where to escape too. Usually these triggers send me to gamble or go into fetal position in bed, but have avoided both going on 5 weeks.

I have three new main things that trigger me. I can be moving along quite well in my day and they happen and I just get so upset and my mood goes bad. A few hours later I feel better.

I really wish I had some tools to deal with these triggers, but I have no idea and Im sick of letting them get the best of me. I wish I could ditch them, but they are now part of my life and they will come up at least 5 times a week so need to figure how to deal with them.

How do u deal with your triggers in a healthy way?

I go to Recovery International meetings. You don't have to join as a member to go to meetings and they operate on a donation basis at the meeting (a 5$ donation at each meeting is encouraged but not required). You should check to see if there is one near you. It's basically self administered CBT. Trite little sayings you repeat to yourself that make a big difference. That's an oversimplification.

I’m confused (but that’s my normal state).

You write that you are “sober.” Did you have an alcohol abuse problem previously? Is gambling an issue, as well?

What exactly happens when you confront one or more of the three triggers? What do you mean by “my mood goes bad”? Why are these triggers “part of (your) life”?

I know that I’m answering a question with more questions, but my triggers tend to slay me if I allow it, rather than disrupt my day, and my coping methods may not work for daily triggers.

Thanks Ill check this out.

No I dont have an alcohol problem, but may have a weed one. I refer to being sober in gambling as I have a serious problem and it has an intoxicating effect on those who quit but Im past that stage and in daily maintance phase.

When one of these triggers happens such as having contact with a certain person who is driving me crazy or a bad customer encounter while working I just get really upset and kinda obsess about the problem. They are simple issues, that I should be able to brush off in a second, but instead I let it ruin my day.

Odd. Weed has been my salvation - for chronic pain although the two strains that I use both have a calming effect, not a ‘high,’ though. I’m very pro-weed and, if I am to stay off opiates and opioids (christ - more criminalization for chronic pain sufferers, now), then weed is my medication. I would be interested in why you think that you ‘may have’ a weed problem. Cannabis is not thought to be ‘addictive’ (oh, now I have issues with that word!) and ‘withdrawal’ symptoms are very, very minor. I think that ‘cannabis use disorder’ is a load of crap and that it will go the way of homosexuality as a disorder.

Gambling, then. The only non-substance addictive disorder recognized in the newest DSM. Gambling certainly falls within the spectrum of risky behaviors in a manic phase. But that’s no longer a problem for you?

Okay, so the triggers are ‘contact with a certain person’ or a ‘bad customer encounter’? You get upset. How? What do you feel when you’re upset? Anger? Why do these encounter ruin your day? What leads you to obsess over these encounters? If they aren’t triggers for gambling (or are they?) what kind of behavior or feelings might follow these encounters?

Again with the questions, I know. I’m just trying to understand your triggers as they relate to bipolar disorder. I’ll offer a personal example: when I receive large sums of money I go into manic mode and spend it foolishly and then I’m broke again. I mean to say that large sums of money put me in full mania and the spending might be the only observable symptom.

Your response to these encounters might not be BPID centered. As you’re responding to social encounters with others it would be helpful to know your thoughts and feelings.

I still have hypomanic episodes but I have friends that I can call who will talk me out of spending thousands of dollars on Amazon. My ‘support network,’ if you will. If you have a frustrating customer at work, do you have a workmate that you could talk to? Just thinking aloud...

I think I may have a weed problem because I use it as an emotional crutch, I eat to much when I smoke it, I spend to much money on it and since its so powerful I sometimes cant work cause I cant drive. Ive tried to quit many times, but struggle doing it. I have cut down from like 20 grams a week to 3 so there has been improvement, but Im considering quiting all together to solve some of the things listed above.

Gambling is not a problem for me now, but Im only 31 days clean and its a life-long disease that needs to be worked on forever. I have over 30 years of gambling issues and will be attending GA for the rest of my life if I want to stay sober.

When I get triggered I get pissed and angry. In the past when I get pissed and angry I would go gamble. Weed does change it for me as when I smoke weed I get happy and forget about my problems, but I cant use weed when Im working. So when I have bad encounters with customers or when that one person gets under my skin I try to let it go but for sometimes I get angry and dwell on it for hours, maybe the whole day.

Id just like some strategies so I can process these negative feelings better when they happen as they are the types of things that most normal people would let go after a minute or so.

If it relates to my BP I have no idea. Before my BP manifested at the age of 30 I didnt get upset as much and go off the deep end like I have since the BP took over.

“Twenty grams per week”? That’s more than my monthly use! Three grams a week doesn’t sound as if it should be problematic but as cannabis use is negatively effecting your life I would urge you to quit. You may go a few nights without sleeping but you’ll be able to drive!

As for gambling - do you see a therapist or psychiatrist? Gambling addiction (I think I wrote?) is recognized as a psychiatric illness. I have no love of 12-step programs - and I was forced to attend well over 9,000 various 12-step meetings over a three-year period. I know that getting that 30-day chip can be gratifying but, jesus, 31 days isn’t a long time, is it? I get a bit nauseous when I read that you believe that you’ll need to attend 12-step meetings for the remainder of your life - that’s what we anti-12-steppers call ‘trading one dependency for another.’ You are dependent on gambling for gratification, right? A psychiatric illness that suggests that psychiatric treatment might be better than picking up a white chip every couple of months.

If possible, were I you, I would put your cannabis savings toward seeing a good therapist and only guardedly attend the GA meetings.

NOW you’re expressing what you feel! I can understand getting pissed and angry at others when they are disagreeable (or just stupid). I don’t think that the calming effect of weed is worth the negative aspects that you’ve named, though. I would still urge you to toss the bong. Is there any specific disagreeable behavior that others exhibit that sets you off? As I’ve written previously, my anger trigger is stupidity, primarily. I cannot abide ignorance. I am infuriated by, for instance, ‘holocaust deniers’ and (in general) the ultra-religious. So what, specifically, makes you angry about these encounters?

It also sounds as if you internalize your anger? I realize the extraordinary difficulty of telling a customer that they are making you angry but, with others, do you ever respond with an “It makes me angry when you...”?

That response - acknowledging my anger openly - is one of my coping stratagies. But you can’t do that with a customer, I know. Do you have a co-worker that you could talk with, saying “This customer really made me mad because...”?

So now I’d like to know the specifics of what pisses you off in these social encounters. I’m no doc so I can’t say if increased anger is symptomatic of BPID. I can say, from personal experience, that internalizing anger (or using any substance to calm yourself) can lead to some disastrous issues.

Let’s keep talking, okay?

Yah 20 was out of control. I was working from home at the time and I couldnt smoke in my place due to landlord so would walk around smoking one gram pre-rolls from the store. Im glad to cut down as it was to much, but 3 grams a week is reasonable. Im going to ponder more if I will quit will not in the future but for now will keep doing what Im doing.

No I dont see a therapist, my options are limited due to my insurance but may have new coverage next year.

33 days in not a lot at all, and sorry to make u nauseous, but people experience things different ways. Ive gone to meetings on and off for 25 years. Ive been forced to in the past, but now Im going on my own accord and I really like it. I have made many friends and Im taking it very seriously. Maybe I wont need GA for my lifetime but Ill have to address it until I die. Therapist are good, but Id much rather choose to heal with those who really understand the addiction and going through the same ordeal and its free and I dont need an appointment or deal with insurance.

The meetings also help with my BP as Im not isolated.

Id say if I had to go to 9000 meetings in three years like u did, which equates to almost 9 a day Id have a negative attitude about it, but since I go to three a week I find it quite enjoyable and rewarding.

I dont have any co-workers, Im an independent contractor and yes anger has something to do with it. Im very angry person as everything has been taken from me and I live in a city that I dont really want to be in separated from my family and friends. Im always broke, Im injured, Im sick, my insurance is going up 36% because of that orange POS and countless other things, but glad to say the last few days Ive found a nice calm and havent been letting that person or customers get to me, so happy to move forward and hope it sustains.