Yesterday morning I was a MESS. The pressure cooker that is my life just exploded. Raging, crying, might as well admit it here... stabbing the wall with a knife (not too many times --I can fix it. Won't be the first time.) I was OVER IT, can't do it anymore, flashing SI over and over...a mess. Things that had all been already going on all came together at once in the most agitated way.

Fortunately, I had a T appt. scheduled in the afternoon. I was still ... not good, but apparently the agitation had worn me out or something, because I was exhausted.

She was assessing where I was at and we went over a safety plan especially as the weekend was upon us. Also emailed my prescriber as she swapped a med 3 weeks ago, and I don't think it's quite cutting the mustard. I don't know if switching back will stop this, but I'd sure like to find out(!) Normally, I'd just switch it back myself, but am trying to do the right thing. (If I don't hear back come Monday though, I will.)

Not great, but holding steady so far today. Been on the forums here for hours. Going to try to do some things now.

[Moreta]

Oh glorious sleep. Slept a nice 12 hrs last night. wooo. I feel so much better today.

[bizi]

Got home from working out of town at 4;30 and we had dinner of chicken with indian spices/chick peas that was good along with half an avocado and a sparkling cranberry water. I need to drink more water! my phillips caplets are not working....I may have to take something to get going
After dinner we went to a musical show, lots of christmas songs performed as if it were a USO concert for soldiers. Very patriotic, I loved it!
5th day AF.

bizi

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Yesterday morning I was a MESS. The pressure cooker that is my life just exploded. Raging, crying, might as well admit it here... stabbing the wall with a knife (not too many times --I can fix it. Won't be the first time.) I was OVER IT, can't do it anymore, flashing SI over and over...a mess. Things that had all been already going on all came together at once in the most agitated way.

Fortunately, I had a T appt. scheduled in the afternoon. I was still ... not good, but apparently the agitation had worn me out or something, because I was exhausted.

She was assessing where I was at and we went over a safety plan especially as the weekend was upon us. Also emailed my prescriber as she swapped a med 3 weeks ago, and I don't think it's quite cutting the mustard. I don't know if switching back will stop this, but I'd sure like to find out(!) Normally, I'd just switch it back myself, but am trying to do the right thing. (If I don't hear back come Monday though, I will.)

Not great, but holding steady so far today. Been on the forums here for hours. Going to try to do some things now.

I’m sorry you are having such a tough time. I hope you feel better soon. Thinking of you.

[Sunflower123]

I’m not depressed or happy. I just feel numb right now and that’s rare for me. I’ve found myself posting much less over the past several days but I’m around with my hugs and lots of best wishes and care.

I see my tdoc tomorrow and my pdoc Thursday so we’ll get it straightened out.

Big hugs to those that are struggling.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m not depressed or happy. I just feel numb right now and that’s rare for me. I’ve found myself posting much less over the past several days but I’m around with my hugs and lots of best wishes and care.

I see my tdoc tomorrow and my pdoc Thursday so we’ll get it straightened out.

Big hugs to those that are struggling.

I have been feeling very tired and have not been posting much (yet have been reading). I have been wondering how you are doing, Jennifer. Thanks for letting us know.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with appts and medical issues. Also just found out 2 of my 3 main doctors are retiring in 2018. We have worked together for over 20 years in each case. I will miss them.

My mother is doing great. She is out staying busy socially.
She just needs to follow through on her PT now. (Hip replacement.)

Does anyone else get bored with cooking dinner every night?
I do.

Love to All!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

Got home from working out of town at 4;30 and we had dinner of chicken with indian spices/chick peas that was good along with half an avocado and a sparkling cranberry water. I need to drink more water! my phillips caplets are not working....I may have to take something to get going
After dinner we went to a musical show, lots of christmas songs performed as if it were a USO concert for soldiers. Very patriotic, I loved it!
5th day AF.

bizi

Congrats, Bizi, on 5th day AF.
Glad you'd enjoyed the concert and, as always, thank you for your service!
Thanks for being you!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Yesterday morning I was a MESS. The pressure cooker that is my life just exploded. Raging, crying, might as well admit it here... stabbing the wall with a knife (not too many times --I can fix it. Won't be the first time.) I was OVER IT, can't do it anymore, flashing SI over and over...a mess. Things that had all been already going on all came together at once in the most agitated way.

Fortunately, I had a T appt. scheduled in the afternoon. I was still ... not good, but apparently the agitation had worn me out or something, because I was exhausted.

She was assessing where I was at and we went over a safety plan especially as the weekend was upon us. Also emailed my prescriber as she swapped a med 3 weeks ago, and I don't think it's quite cutting the mustard. I don't know if switching back will stop this, but I'd sure like to find out(!) Normally, I'd just switch it back myself, but am trying to do the right thing. (If I don't hear back come Monday though, I will.)

Not great, but holding steady so far today. Been on the forums here for hours. Going to try to do some things now.

(((((( Innerzone ))))))

Wishing you Peace.

WC

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling much better today. Went and got my hair cut and did grocery shopping. Haven't put pressure on myself to do much of anything today. That's pretty rare for me.

I'm actually eating today too. Lately my stomach has been such a mess. Every other time I eat I get bad stomach cramps and diarrhea immediately after eating. Sorry if TMI. Probably caused by stress and anxiety. Been dropping weight.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Feeling much better today. Went and got my hair cut and did grocery shopping. Haven't put pressure on myself to do much of anything today. That's pretty rare for me.

I'm actually eating today too. Lately my stomach has been such a mess. Every other time I eat I get bad stomach cramps and diarrhea immediately after eating. Sorry if TMI. Probably caused by stress and anxiety. Been dropping weight.

Sounds uncomfortable and inconvenient. Have you seen a doctor? I hope you are okay.

I hope you have a good week!

WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Came down with a cold today, and still depressed. At least we didn't have anything to do today that couldn't be put off for later, as we only have a few appts. this week. It's finals for everyone, though, so I will be the only one not cramming on the computer and books.

Tomorrow is a tough day emotionally, though, so I hope I pull through it.

Been down but hopefully will feel better soon.

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( Fharraige ))))))

A big hug for today and for tomorrow.

WC

[xRavenx]

Very, very mixed manic. I know it's not just grief. I went to bed at 6 AM today for a few hours with the help of medication. I called my pdoc yesterday asking if we should increase my meds, but she never answered my message.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

Very, very mixed manic. I know it's not just grief. I went to bed at 6 AM today for a few hours with the help of medication. I called my pdoc yesterday asking if we should increase my meds, but she never answered my message.

I am sorry you are going through this.
Glad you are pushing to get some sleep.
Hope your pdoc responds soon.

(((((( xRavenx ))))))

Thinking of you, hoping you have an easier night.


WC

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with appts and medical issues. Also just found out 2 of my 3 main doctors are retiring in 2018. We have worked together for over 20 years in each case. I will miss them.

My mother is doing great. She is out staying busy socially.
She just needs to follow through on her PT now. (Hip replacement.)

Does anyone else get bored with cooking dinner every night?
I do.

Love to All!

glad that your mom is doing alright!
yes I get bored cooking as we always cook the same thing!
love bizi

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am sorry you are going through this.
Glad you are pushing to get some sleep.
Hope your pdoc responds soon.

(((((( xRavenx ))))))

Thinking of you, hoping you have an easier night.


WC

Thanks WC. I texted my Therapist (I am just getting back to therapy for the first time in months) to see if she has sooner availability, but she has not had any cancelations, so I must wait until Monday.

My cousin is supportive of me, and I talked to her, but she is very sick herself right now with her addictions, so I don't want to overburden her.

[emgreen]

I'm sorry both of you are feeling somewhat down, Jennifer & WC. You two are consistently helping others, so take some time to yourself & do what it takes to feel better.

[Moreta]

I didn't sleep well last night again. I'm so damn antsy so I decided to start crocheting a scarf and of course I'm getting help.



But man do my hands hurt now. damn.

[99fairies]

I`m feeling pretty good today. All my kids are healthy and in school . So I have been cleaning and scanning the board. Got up at 4:30am again, I don`t know why I can`t sleep longer than that...oh well, I still feel fine with lack of sleep.

[Daonnachd]

All yous are always on my mind, but I don’t post cos I don’t feel I have owt important to say. For example, my car’s gonna cost $290 to replace an oil valve. Otherwise, I feel ok.

[Daonnachd]

Double post. Apologies.

[Nammu]

Just plug'n along. Kinda fustrated with my back, it keeps me from doing much and not doing much keeps me from losing weight and not losing weight keeps my back bad.....just a never ending cycle.

[Victoria'smom]

My CP is getting worse by the day. I can hardly walk it's painful and even then I'm walking extremely slow. I need to loose weight and exercise or by this time next year I'll be wheelchair bound. This is not cool it hit me all at once, I thought it'd be slower. I know I've gone almost 10 years past what dr's thought I'd be in a wheel chair but it still sucks. The whole thing sucks.

bad case of the christmas blues.

I'm okay in myself, I guess

but I just an struggling with christmas and all the memories it brings up.

taken to overspending to comfort me- not a great thing to do, but it seems to be working