There is nothing more effective for me that zyprexa. It knocks out mania or hypomania like nobody’s business for me. And it is fast-acting. But I eat until my stomach feels like it will burst. I can’t handle it.

I had to call and shake a prescription for Zyprexa out of the back up pdoc once to knock down my hypomania. I took it for a month, refilled it, and stashed the refill away for the next time, if it ever happens again. I hope not; I hope the lithium prevents any more problems.

I mean, along with therapy too, to deal with my broken way of thinking about things.

[bizi]

going to bed finally feels safe....
bizi

[hopeless2015]

Doing pretty good. Super busy st work and actually handling it pretty well. Hugs everyone!

[emgreen]

I absolutely feel Zyprexa is a drug that works on symptoms & helps you sleep well, but I got fatter than a cow on it...Gained 60 pounds! I'd never take it again.

[Daonnachd]

I’m meeting with my T today. It’s a regularly scheduled appointment, nothing’s going on.

All the best to all o’ yous.

[251turnaround]

I posted yesterday about how I was doubting my therapist's assessment of my mood.

I'm starting to think she was right. I think I'm definitely on my way up. I know that I'm gonna crash in a few days, maybe even tomorrow. Thankfully my meds are keeping this from escalating out of control. It's a mild elevation, not true hypomania yet, but it's somewhat distressing nonetheless. I've become obsessed with music in the meantime and I've taped up about a dozen pages of hastily written notes to refer to on my wall haha.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by 251turnaround

...I've taped up about a dozen pages of hastily written notes to refer to on my wall haha.

Just write on the wall. That might change your diagnosis.

[Unrigged64072835]

Another morning with little sleep. Humidity dropped and my sinuses went ballistic, even with steam from the CPAP. I didn't take a nap and I went to physical therapy, but I had to take a lot of ibuprofen to bring down the pain.

Mood is kind of shot at the moment. Just trying to get through the day and hopefully get some decent sleep tonight. Pnurse is thinking about taking me off Lunesta but I might have issues with withdrawal. May have to use something else, or just get really tired.

Hope everyone is doing better. Hugs to all...

[Moreta]

I could go for a nap. My face is all broken out for some reason and all i want to do is pick at it, so I've been crocheting instead. Man my hands hurt. Finished a scarf yesterday and almost finished with another one today. Taking a break rn to let my hands rest. Going to donate all the scarves I'm making to the homeless. At least something good will come out of my OCD. heh.

[Nammu]

Day three of sinus headache, head banding is starting to sound good right about now. Made toll house cookies anyway. Wish I had a huge soaker tub, I'd submerged my head under the hot water for as long as I could. Back to bed sounds good. Take care everyone.

[xRavenx]

I just started getting these intense feelings of self-hatred and wanting to self-destruct out of anger. I have no motivation anymore.

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I just started getting these intense feelings of self-hatred and wanting to self-destruct out of anger. I have no motivation anymore.

xRavenx

[liveforsummer]

Slept 11pm to 12:15am. Wide awake now (it’s 2:04) Took imovane, it may as well have been an m & m. That was over an hour ago. Watching 80’s music videos on YouTube. Feel like I might as well get up. Do something. Frustration. Or maybe I’ll succumb to the Ativan. Despise this. Sorry just feeling pathetic and sorry for myself

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Slept 11pm to 12:15am. Wide awake now (it’s 2:04) Took imovane, it may as well have been an m & m. That was over an hour ago. Watching 80’s music videos on YouTube. Feel like I might as well get up. Do something. Frustration. Or maybe I’ll succumb to the Ativan. Despise this. Sorry just feeling pathetic and sorry for myself

I woke up awhile ago, thinking of you. I had not had a chance to check-in on Thursday. Signed in and here you are. I hope you are able to sleep.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Day three of sinus headache, head banding is starting to sound good right about now. Made toll house cookies anyway. Wish I had a huge soaker tub, I'd submerged my head under the hot water for as long as I could. Back to bed sounds good. Take care everyone.

I hope you feel better soon!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Another morning with little sleep. Humidity dropped and my sinuses went ballistic, even with steam from the CPAP. I didn't take a nap and I went to physical therapy, but I had to take a lot of ibuprofen to bring down the pain.

Mood is kind of shot at the moment. Just trying to get through the day and hopefully get some decent sleep tonight. Pnurse is thinking about taking me off Lunesta but I might have issues with withdrawal. May have to use something else, or just get really tired.

Hope everyone is doing better. Hugs to all...

I hope you feel better soon.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moreta

I could go for a nap. My face is all broken out for some reason and all i want to do is pick at it, so I've been crocheting instead. Man my hands hurt. Finished a scarf yesterday and almost finished with another one today. Taking a break rn to let my hands rest. Going to donate all the scarves I'm making to the homeless. At least something good will come out of my OCD. heh.

What a loving thing to do -- making and donating the scarves.
Beautiful!

WC

I'm very upset. I placed an order for my mom for Christmas for something she really, really needed, and the merchant never seemed to ship it. I ordered it 3 weeks ago during pre Black Friday sales and I never got a tracking number. (I didn't realize this until now.) Now I'm wondering if I'll EVER get it in the mail.

Thankfully I paid via Amazon Pay... because those bastards at that company took money out of my account already! I thought Amazon Pay didn't allow this? Ah well... at least I have a middleman to complain to.

From now on, I'm going to use Amazon Pay or Pay Pal for everything so that I don't have to file a claim with my credit card company if this crap happens again.

Otherwise, doing so-so. Still depressed. F_ckin hate life. Pdoc appt today where I probably get yelled at for being non-compliant. Guess I deserve it.

[99fairies]

Last night was rough, but I'm doing much better this morning. My oldest is flying to a different province today for 5 days. He is very excited. I hope it goes well and he does not have any mental health issues while he's gone. I'm sure he'll be fine, I just worry too much.

[liveforsummer]

Again slept 1 hour then awake for 2. Took the imovane which finally worked after almost an hour of waiting and actually got 5 hours uninterrupted sleep. I feel mental illness would be a little easier to handle if only sleep were natural and normal. Why is it sooo many of us struggle? Except it seems when I’m in a severe depressive state. Have to admit my best sleep this year was during my worse depression. I could sleep 24/7 and as bad as this sounds I miss that sleep!

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Again slept 1 hour then awake for 2. Took the imovane which finally worked after almost an hour of waiting and actually got 5 hours uninterrupted sleep. I feel mental illness would be a little easier to handle if only sleep were natural and normal. Why is it sooo many of us struggle? Except it seems when I’m in a severe depressive state. Have to admit my best sleep this year was during my worse depression. I could sleep 24/7 and as bad as this sounds I miss that sleep!

I'm with you 100%. I can't remember the last time I had an uninterrupted sleep...except when depressed. I'm of a mind that a lack of sleep makes you sick. A few months ago I was only getting two hours a night. After two weeks I felt physically ill. The hypo suddenly wasn't worth it.

[xRavenx]

I am at work and have a training soon. I hate meetings, I like how my job typically entails being in an office by myself. I also have a hard time sitting still. Today I'm hanging in there so far, but still very depressed. I meditated last night, it helped a little bit. I can't wait for therapy on Monday. .....Hugs to all.

[hopeless2015]

I haven't gone in to work, called and told them that I would be in later. I may not go at all. I drank and gambled last night. My gambling is out of control again. My checking account is in the negative again. It's been quite awhile since I've done this but the last 3 weeks I've gambled hard. I've last control and I feel terrible.

[251turnaround]

I was bad and forgot my meds again and only got two hours of sleep last night. Couldn't fall asleep until 3 AM. I'm feeling even more out of control today. Not overly happy, but I'm just all over the place. I don't know what to do. There are so many things I could get done but I can't focus enough to do any of them.

To add to this mess, I heard demonic growling behind me while I was walking down a quiet street earlier today. Great. Maybe it was just the wind, though.

[Unrigged64072835]

Got a little bit better sleep last night. I put the CPAP on a higher setting and I felt okay. My husband also set up the humidifier so it wasn't so dry. Back still hurts, though, and I'll have to keep doing exercises until Tuesday.

Mood is still kind of iffy. Just trying to go with the flow. Of course I had to do something impulsive and buy my daughter yet another present. She's going to have presents out her ears this year. This is for the stocking because I wrapped everything else and they're too big.
My husband asked if I was serious about taking the bottom branches off the tree so we can fit presents underneath it. He bought some big-ticket items for me and the kids and I wish he hadn't.

I have T on Monday so I'll write some stuff down and talk to him about it.