[bizi]

I am sorry you are feeling triggered today. What helps you cope?
bizi

[hexacoda]

Am really looking forward to Christmas! We are celebrating next weekend as my mom works on Christmas day. She always spoils us so I don't buy many presents. I only buy a few for her. We have dinner here but it's just her and me, husband, and kids, so no pressure. She even cooks the dinner for us, at our house. I am really blessed.

I have a coworker who recently went on anti-depressants. She mentioned them as her "crazy pills". I kind of thought ok, she should be more open-minded if I have another episode, but I still didn't mention my bp. I take my anti-psychotic at lunch time now, when everyone in my pod is in the cafeteria. The Dr has me taking vitamin D and suggested a sun lamp.

[xRavenx]

I saw my pdoc again. She upped my Seroquel and my Gabapentin. I have not been sleeping well. I have time off of work coming up, but if it isn't enough, she is wondering if maybe I need to go out on medical leave for psych reasons. We'll see.

[liveforsummer]

50 mg seroquel last night did nothing but give me vivid dreams, woke up often and ended up with a massive headache all day that is finally starting to lessen.
Wanted to stay in bed but had a family commitment this afternoon which was a good thing as it got me up and out of the house. Still not ready for Christmas. Have done zero baking and don’t feel like it. I’m just tired of everything right now.

Tomorrow is another day...I will try to make it better. Hugs everyone

[Victoria'smom]

Questioning life may take an ambien to keep myself safe and I don't say something stupid.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Questioning life may take an ambien to keep myself safe and I don't say something stupid.

Does this mean you are going to bed right now?
worried
bizi

[wildflowerchild25]

Made “Christmas Crack”, which I hate the name of because I think it trivializes addiction, but whatever. It’s saltines, homemade toffee, chocolate, topped with m&ms. It’s delicious.

I was in a decent mood until I took a nap and woke up to my son mopping the dining room floor....after he had been painting with acrylic paints without my knowledge. I had to jump up and clean up the paint from the floor before it ruined it. He also ruined his pants, shirt, AND ****ed up his iPad by getting it wet. The sound only works with headphones now. This is what happens when I fall asleep. To be fair when I went to sleep he was also taking a nap.

I didn’t get much done around the house but I got a little done and that’s better than nothing.

[bizi]

got 2 loads of laundry done and hair colored and cut.
WEnt around and bought my hubby a bunch of different gift cards for christmas including a new place in town called Dragos, a seafood restaurant that specializes in char broiled oysters, our favorite!!!!!
I think they are in season now.
Still alcohol free.
happy about this.
bizi

[Victoria'smom]

Does this mean you are going to bed right now?

I'm going to try to stay up until 11pm/est. So no one thinks anything of it. Then I'm going to put lotion on and go to sleep. I may just take the extra 5mg of zyprexa tonight instead of the sleeping pill.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm going to try to stay up until 11pm/est. So no one thinks anything of it. Then I'm going to put lotion on and go to sleep. I may just take the extra 5mg of zyprexa tonight instead of the sleeping pill.

I was worried that you were going to stay awake/up after taking ambien. You have to go to bed right away when taking that.
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Lots of insomnia lately.
The lack of sleep compounds both pain and mood issues.
Triggered a lot by recent headlines of sexual assault/harassment, etc.
Started a thread in the PTSD forum, if others are also feeling triggered by this.
Depression not at it's worst right now; yet, easily impacted for the worse.

Love to All!

WC

[Guiness187055]

This insomnia is killing me. I am only getting about 3 hours of sleep. The seroquel is not working.

had a panic attack this morning (kind of a bad one)

threw me off balance, now all my MI psymptoms are playing up

[bpforever1]

I ate another burrito with peach soda. Tomorrow, I'm thinking of eating Indian curry again. I am happy. I took my medication this morning again. I have to get a refill soon and am thinking of calling my doc for an appointment this week. I am doing fine. The weather here is cool and windy. I told my family about my online man I'm meeting next week. I thought I would tell them just in case something happens. I don't expect anything drastic to happen, but still I've never met him and don't know what to expect. I'm just being safe. Also, I have to clean up the apartment some more for his visit. I am meeting my college friend this week too and am excited. I have not seen her in 20 years. It should be fun!!

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling very burned out these days. Like I literally have nothing left to give. Burned out at work. Burned out on being a single parent. Kind of depressed, but it doesn't feel like a bipolar thing. Worried the stress might throw me there. Been a little more snappy than is normal.

In a relationship now. Worried about how all this might effect things. I just don't have much to give. I care very much about this person, and I know I'm not showing it at the moment. Fighting hard the urge to break things off but only as a way to protect him from me. Funny how being bipolar makes you think that. Screwed up, isn't it?

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Feeling very burned out these days. Like I literally have nothing left to give. Burned out at work. Burned out on being a single parent. Kind of depressed, but it doesn't feel like a bipolar thing. Worried the stress might throw me there. Been a little more snappy than is normal.

In a relationship now. Worried about how all this might effect things. I just don't have much to give. I care very much about this person, and I know I'm not showing it at the moment. Fighting hard the urge to break things off but only as a way to protect him from me. Funny how being bipolar makes you think that. Screwed up, isn't it?

Yeah, stress is a b_tch sometimes.

Would you be ok with opening up to your partner about how you feel? Maybe he or she can support you or offer you empathy.

I'd strongly suggest that you don't break things off without at least talking to him/her about what you're going through. Relationships are all about communication, trust, and teamwork, and they don't work without any of those things.

I think being honest and open will help you. If they're not supportive, well, that says a lot. But what if they are supportive? Maybe you'll be able to cope with things better and be overall happier. So I think it's worth a shot.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Feeling very burned out these days. Like I literally have nothing left to give. Burned out at work. Burned out on being a single parent. Kind of depressed, but it doesn't feel like a bipolar thing. Worried the stress might throw me there. Been a little more snappy than is normal.

In a relationship now. Worried about how all this might effect things. I just don't have much to give. I care very much about this person, and I know I'm not showing it at the moment. Fighting hard the urge to break things off but only as a way to protect him from me. Funny how being bipolar makes you think that. Screwed up, isn't it?

Congrats on the relationship. It's tough to feel like we have much to give when we are feeling "burned out." We can only be ourselves in authentic relationships. Authentic relationships are the ones that last and can lead to a more "unconditional" love.

You do have a lot on your plate. Be gentle with yourself.


WC

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Yeah, stress is a b_tch sometimes.

Would you be ok with opening up to your partner about how you feel? Maybe he or she can support you or offer you empathy.

I'd strongly suggest that you don't break things off without at least talking to him/her about what you're going through. Relationships are all about communication, trust, and teamwork, and they don't work without any of those things.

I think being honest and open will help you. If they're not supportive, well, that says a lot. But what if they are supportive? Maybe you'll be able to cope with things better and be overall happier. So I think it's worth a shot.

I just feel so incredibly guilty right now. I don't really want to unload my **** on him. I NEVER tell anyone this kind of stuff except you guys.

[WildcatVet]

Been seeing a therapist for almost a month now and not seeing the point. All we've talked about is traveling to Scotland and our pets.
Did see the psych nurse on Friday...finally...but that was just filling out paperwork. She did say she might be able to help me get back on track with my meds...fingers crossed.

[Sunflower123]

I feel like I’m spiraling down into a depression. It’s around this time that my SAD kicks in so maybe that’s it. I had hoped to avoid it or alleviate it this year. I’m supposed to go to a Christmas concert put on by the symphony today with my daughter and my mom. If I can actually force myself to go I think I’d feel a lot better but it’s going to be really hard getting out of this chair.

Sending big hugs to all those that are struggling.

[Gabyunbound]

I've been sad and weepy lately. Hadn't felt like this for so long, I had forgotten what it felt like. I don't know if it's because of my Lamictal dose: my pdoc sent the wrong dose to the pharmacy and I was taking a bit less than usual for some 4 days. But maybe not. I just don't know. Now anxiety is added, as I go to work tomorrow and have to put on a normal face.

[scatterbrained04]

Blah...I think I have been in denial for the last couple months. I think my "burnout" is actually depression. The symptoms have been in my face for a couple months and progressively getting worse the last couple weeks. I've been told two or three times by the same person lately that I "seem off". So much for denial. I don't want to be unstable. I've been unstable like this whole flipping year.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I feel like I’m spiraling down into a depression. It’s around this time that my SAD kicks in so maybe that’s it. I had hoped to avoid it or alleviate it this year. I’m supposed to go to a Christmas concert put on by the symphony today with my daughter and my mom. If I can actually force myself to go I think I’d feel a lot better but it’s going to be really hard getting out of this chair.

Sending big hugs to all those that are struggling.

I hope you are able to go. If not, I certainly understand how depression can keep us down.

(((((( Jennifer ))))))

Be kind to yourself.


WC

[99fairies]

My daughter and myself are both sick this morning. But I did forgot to take my geodon last night, so that might be why I feel sick...I don't know.

[Unrigged64072835]

Daughter's boyfriend won't know until Saturday what hours he's working Christmas Eve. Argh! Just want to know so I can figure out the rest of the day. I have a lot to do and timing counts.

Have back pain again so not doing much of anything. Supposed to do dry needling again on Tuesday for physical therapy. Ugh, ugh, ugh...thankfully it's two days of PT and a dermatology appointment, plus a run to get rid of all the hazardous stuff we've accumulated over the past few months.

At least everyone likes the apple pie, though I find it too rich for my taste. I can hardly eat any of it anyway. Don't know how to deal with that and homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Probably plan for a long walk.

Just want this week done and over with already. With med side effects and back pain, I'm a bit of a grumpy bear.