[bizi]

17 this morning. BUrr!
The roads will be slick. the sun melted some of the ice as did traffic. The sun is not really out yet and I have early morning appointments so have to go out before the sun has the chance to melt the ice again like yesterday when I left the house at 1230.
I put hot pockets on my socks again this morning, worked yesterday, my feet were nice and toasty.
My car had a bit of a rough time starting yesterday. wonder how it will do today?
The high will be near 40!
Hard to believe it will be 70 by sunday!
I see my pdoc this afternoon, want to check in with her earlier because I was so emotionally charged for a few days.
Doesn't a full blown episode last a week?
mine lasted 3 days.
bizi

I have had coffee, hot tea and milk to drink this morning.

[BPQuestions]

Started a new medication today so we will sse how it goes. Feeling slightly down today and alone. I know Im not but it seems that way. Im sad that ive caused so much wreakage. Well life can only go up from here so. Cheers for the day!!

[GoldenSnitch]

Saw t this morning. She thinks I’m rapid cycling. Can’t get ahold of my doc. Running out of options here.

I am feeling good- despite the usual lack of sleep sinario

missed seeing my therapist last week as she canceled on me at the last moment- so hoping to at least call her this week.

not much news in my boring life. :d

[wildflowerchild25]

Very high anxiety today. I found a job I wanted to apply for - the ad was pretty unconventional so I figured they’d be ok with an unconventional applicant. However the hours won’t work for me. I won’t be back in time to pick up my son. If my brother hadn’t just had a baby I could ask him to pick him up three days a week but I can’t do that now. I’m going to have a lot of trouble finding a job that fits my schedule. Aftercare only runs until 5:50pm. My mom works until seven three days a week. I don’t have anyone else to help me. I’m discouraged.

I haven’t heard back from hr for my current job regarding intermittent fmla. I’m thinking they are not going to approve. I can’t make it through 4.5 months without being able to take a day off. It’s just not happening. I’ll make it maybe a month. Then I’ll be right back where I was, super stressed and depressed.

I’m going to snuggle with my weighted blanket for awhile. It will help me keep calm.

[LadyShadow]

My irritability has been low, despite being so angry for most of the week. Things were just not going right, and I was getting really angry about it.

Today seems okay. I am glad I woke up at least in the afternoon instead of late at night. I don't know though, I just kind of feel flat at this point.

[Standup2me]

I am so proud of myself. My abusive brother called me, yelling and shouting about some issues with my mother
I told him that I was not going to listen to him yell at me, and hung up
Every time he called back I told him the same thing
After several hours of me not picking up, he finally gave up
GO ME!!!!!!!!!!
I AM AWESOME!!!!

[bizi]

I saw my PDOC today and gave her a good report.
She was very happy with me.
I am stable and feel so good about that.
pinch me is this real?
bizi

[bpforever1]

I am doing well and still taking my medication daily. I feel fine. I turned down the interview to work in the rural area. I am doing ok. I have two interviews for part-time jobs. I will turn down one of them because they require I divulge information about my mental illness. It is unfortunate but some companies want to know everything about their employees. I don't think they will hire me if I am honest. Also, they don't pay for the doctor's exam and want me to pay for it. Are you kidding? I don't need a job that badly. I am sleeping a lot still from boredom and lethargy. I get tired easily from walking all over the city. I will be ok though. Life is not bad. At least the weather here is not bad. We have no snow here in the city but just rain and wind. I like it here in general. Nobody bothers me. I do what I want and nobody cares. Of course, like I said before, this could be bad thing too. But, I like it this way. I am all by myself but feel as if I can make it still. This is a good thing. I hope everybody who is feeling miserable will feel better soon. I have been in the pits myself and would not wish it upon anybody else.

[99fairies]

I've been up since 2 am. No idea why I can't sleep. Tomorrow is gonna suck if I can't get some shut eye.

[incogneo]

So my anxiety is at an all-time high as I wait to hear back from a perspective employer. I had a final interview over Skype yesterday morning and now my future rests in the hands of the hiring managers. My hope is that I have made enough of an impression that they want to take a chance on me and move forward with my application. The job pays more than I make now and is doing something I have enjoyed doing far more in the past than the type of work I am doing right now.

Thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

[bizi]

I turned off the alarm at 7am, just got up so am thinking about canceling my 830 appointment.
yawn
bizi

[incogneo]

I want to go home.

[bizi]

11-28-17 day 1 AF
11-29 AF
11-30 AF
I made it AF all of December!
1-1 AF
1-2 DD
1-3 AF thru1-19 AF (51 days AF, 1 day DD)
The DD was great fun!!!!!
well truthfully it was fun until I got sick and threw up!

bizi

[BPQuestions]

Im doing well. I took the day off from work I needed a mental health day. Im gonna buy stuff for my new apt. and maybe a home gym. Its a new life for a new me.

[jmariah001]

I saw my pdoc and she wasn't to pleased with me. I go back in 3 weeks to see if my meds need adjusted or changed. She thinks I am depressed even though I don't feel it. I am a diabetic and should be testing my blood sugar at least once a day. I haven't been doing it and the doc asked me why I just told her that I just don't. She said it's gonna kill you don't you care I basically told her no. I'm not afraid to die. I won't kill myself but I'm not afraid of it. Because I told her that she thinks I have anhedonia (the inability to feel pleasure) and so therefore I am actually depressed. I know what depression feels like doc and this isn't it. I got a little irritated at her although I stayed nice. She has only been my doc for not even a year yet. She probably just doesn't know my baseline yet. I'm pretty stable right now. Just because I'm not afraid of death doesn't make me depressed. I know my chances of living to an old age aren't good not with having bipolar and diabetes, and other physical health issues. I just accept it. What's wrong with that? To me nothing.

[hopeless2015]

Hugs to everyone!!!

Ready for the weekend, supposed to meet friends for dinner tonight. Shooting for another weekend of not gambling

[wildflowerchild25]

I literally slept all day. From 9am until 3:30. It’s because I didn’t sleep until late last night. Because I slept until noon yesterday. My sleep
Schedule
Is totally thrown off! I’m going to have to force myself to get up at a normal hour tomorrow so that I can get back on track.

[LadyShadow]

Having a bit of trouble getting going, but I need to eat and shower so I need to get my butt in gear. I am having a good day though, I feel like I am finally accomplishing something. I have had much worse days, so this is one of the good ones.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I literally slept all day. From 9am until 3:30. It’s because I didn’t sleep until late last night. Because I slept until noon yesterday. My sleep
Schedule
Is totally thrown off! I’m going to have to force myself to get up at a normal hour tomorrow so that I can get back on track.

God this is the story of my life! It is so ongoing it is ridiculous! Wishing you a good night's sleep!

[Tucson]

I am very depressed right now. I have been living out of my bedroom. I looked at my funds and saw that I spent a few thousand dollars that I shoudn’t have. The money I have left from my line of credit is all I will have for the foreseeable future. I have a home equity line of credit that is supposed to be used only for home improvements. I have been using it for other things. I did get the living room and hallway carpeting replaced. I already have the monthly payments up to $300. This is all I can afford to pay for this. I do not have any money for a car, therefore I cannot hold down a job.I need to hold down a job for I really need the money.

Otherwise, everything is OK.

PS The home equity line of credit has insanely low interest rate and monthly payment. I also used it to consolidate my debts. But if I spend it mindlessly, like during a period of mania, I can end up where I was before the loan However, this means owing $50,000 instead of my previous debts of $12,000.

[Unrigged64072835]

Got my labs done and meds picked up. Thought it was going to be a quiet day from there. Nope. Daughter's boyfriend forgot his work keys, so husband drove out to drop them off. He then went to urgent care to get a few things checked out. Turns out that in addition to the sinus infection he has pinkeye and a fungal rash on his leg. Poor guy. Tried to wash his pillow--it was totally heavy from all the water and I don't know if I can get it all out before bedtime.

I did do some more homework and now just need to study for the first exam. My professor mentioned that some people are working ahead so I might do that too.

Feeling calm at the moment, though, except for the background worry about my husband. The last time he was this way he got shingles on his face and had to stay in the hospital for a week. Joys of having MS and a suppressed immune system to counteract it.

[Daonnachd]

Scrubbed kitchen cabinet shelves and kitchen floor. Heigh-ho, what’s next?

[scatterbrained04]

I've really been doing overall better this past week. Hope the trend continues. The SAD crap is kicking my butt in the evenings though as far as low energy and making me want to go to sleep really early.

Hugs to all

[sonjaward809]

Well I have a cold now, probably from when I walked to the store in 6 degree weather. I took some alka-selzer daytime medicine but it knocked me out. I ended up taking a 3 hour nap. My sleep has been off for the past few days and it's messing with my mood. But I don't feel anything so I'm not sure what's wrong yet, just that something feels "off". I did manage to clean up the house today though, so that's positive. Hopefully this cold goes away within the next few days and my sleep regulates.