[Wild Coyote]

Trying to have a good day despite an anniversary of a trauma (see thread on this, if interested.)

My 80 y.o. aunt visited for the weekend. She sleeps in late, so I made brunch again this morning, before she'd left. I hope she comes to visit again.

It's a bright sunny day here today, thankfully.

Love to All!

WC

[liveforsummer]

Drizzly day here. Mood pretty stable, ok to a mild depression so that’s alright. Only prob now is it doesn’t take much to set off my anxiety. Need to bring this up at next pdoc appt as can’t carry on like this.
hugs all!

[Unrigged64072835]

Well, it's done. Told my current T that I'm going to stop seeing him and see a new T. (Okay, that sounds a bit blunt but I was more tactful than that.) He was rather shocked. I've seen him over 6 years and I've changed a lot under his care, but we're now stuck and it's time to move on. I think that's the longest I've been with a T. If all goes well with a new T I'll have one final appt. next month. He's grown real fond of my husband and I and I'll miss him, but a different approach than what he offers is needed. I feel like I need to take the reins of my life and gallop off into the sunset years. The other thing is it's hard to talk about "women's issues" and I don't have a magic wand to turn him into a female T. (I'm sure he and his wife are grateful for that.)

It took a while to wind down (I've been hyped for a couple of days), but we did a bunch of grocery shopping afterwards and I'm now knackered. I also didn't sleep well so I hope to go to bed early tonight.

I've talked my husband's ear off this morning about various things. He thought I was pretty hyper the past few days. I sure hope this isn't hypomania. That would be a kicker.

Have a couple of hours before making dinner. Making beef stroganoff tonight.

Mood is slowly calming down.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Drizzly day here. Mood pretty stable, ok to a mild depression so that’s alright. Only prob now is it doesn’t take much to set off my anxiety. Need to bring this up at next pdoc appt as can’t carry on like this.
hugs all!

It's great to hear from you!
I think of you often, hoping all is well.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Well, it's done. Told my current T that I'm going to stop seeing him and see a new T. (Okay, that sounds a bit blunt but I was more tactful than that.) He was rather shocked. I've seen him over 6 years and I've changed a lot under his care, but we're now stuck and it's time to move on. I think that's the longest I've been with a T. If all goes well with a new T I'll have one final appt. next month. He's grown real fond of my husband and I and I'll miss him, but a different approach than what he offers is needed. I feel like I need to take the reins of my life and gallop off into the sunset years. The other thing is it's hard to talk about "women's issues" and I don't have a magic wand to turn him into a female T. (I'm sure he and his wife are grateful for that.)

It took a while to wind down (I've been hyped for a couple of days), but we did a bunch of grocery shopping afterwards and I'm now knackered. I also didn't sleep well so I hope to go to bed early tonight.

I've talked my husband's ear off this morning about various things. He thought I was pretty hyper the past few days. I sure hope this isn't hypomania. That would be a kicker.

Have a couple of hours before making dinner. Making beef stroganoff tonight.

Mood is slowly calming down.

Congrats on taking that, sometimes, very tough step of changing therapists.

Your accounts of your relationship with your husband reminds me of mine with my husband. We are very close, too.

Glad you are around!

WC

[scatterbrained04]

Worked from home day. It was actually kind of nice not to have to worry about going anywhere, though I tend to prefer to be in the office. Also paid bills. My muscles are so sore today after all the housework I did yesterday. I'm going to try to put away some laundry tonight and keep up on the areas I cleaned yesterday.

[wildflowerchild25]

Feeling down today. I think my sister in law is mad at me. We were drinking last night and I may have said something to upset her but my memory is hazy (yeah I drank way too much) and I don’t know for sure. But she hasn’t replied to me all day. She could just be hungover but I really hope I didn’t say anything hurtful. I need to lay off the alcohol. I say that all the time though. I bet today’s depression is related to the drinking as well.

I need to give up drinking for good but I just can’t seem to do it.

[Cocosurviving]

The day started out rainy then it stopped raining and felt pretty cool outside.
Me and my youngest daughter had a great lunch out. I stayed within my
calories. I even have leftovers for dinner. After eating we went to get
more supplements and vitamins. I’m trying get motivated to go
workout this evening. I think I can do it.

[Standup2me]

My mother dying has lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders.
She was a very bad person and it feels good knowing she is gone.
I sound cruel and heartless, but if you knew the whole story you would
understand.

[pirilin]

Truly peachy-peachy!!!.

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Well, it's done. Told my current T that I'm going to stop seeing him and see a new

I've talked my husband's ear off this morning about various things. He thought I was pretty hyper the past few days. I sure hope this isn't hypomania. That would be a kicker.


Mood is slowly calming down.

I condensed the post obviously, but wanted to specifically address the hypomania thing. Like, can you tell when it might be starting? And it's interesting what you've said here. I've been talking a lot more like this with my own husband, but also with my parents, siblings and just being more social in general. I still have a bit of this low mood at the same time, but the socializing and the engaging in several projects as a result kinda has me a little but alert on this as well. I hope to get out of my low mood but at the same time do not want to escalate any mania. It's too draining going up and down. I kinda feel the Latuda is helping this. Just wish it would help a bit more with the low stuff.

I also like that you shared the "play by play", that your mood settled again. I've got this similar thing, which has my pdocs wondering if its something more than just bipolar (a personality disorder), but so this has kinda been why im talking more with husband and folks, so we can all be on the same page about whats going on, of course while still maintaining our own perspectives, but i think sometimes my folks/husband dont really know what im going through. They simply see my behaviors and not the whys (which is sometimes just me reacting to their neurosis. Haha!)

Anyway, yeah I wish you well with the new therapist. I almost got a male pdoc, but kind a relieved my NP encouraged me to wait and speak with the female, because I do have pms/menses related issues.

[bizi]

55 years old and hot flashes have resumed....
sigh
bizi

[Cocosurviving]

I did it!!! I made it to the gym. Then home and to the shower. I ate dinner and did not go over my calories for the day. I’m very happy. I also walked the dog.

[wildflowerchild25]

Sometimes I feel like I’ll never be able to heal from this trauma. I thought I was doing pretty well but it turns out pretending you don’t have any feelings just turns you into a robot. Now I feel even worse because I can’t even muster compassion for people in my life anymore. I pretend, but in my mind I’m thinking horrible things. It’s part of the reason I can’t be a teacher anymore. Teachers are supposed to care about kids and I just don’t.

My go-to defense mechanism has always been deny, deny, deny. Don’t feel the negative feelings you don’t want to feel. Is it a wonder that the mania is held at bay by medication but the depression keeps returning time after time??? Depression for me is feeling dead inside. That’s what I feel on the daily.

I’m so damaged. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to live life again. I want to date and genuinely care for someone else. I don’t want to be this unfeeling monster.

**** you, mike, and what you ****ing took from me. Hope the high was worth it.

[bizi]

I am so sorry that Mike did this to you.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[stahrgeyzer]

Idk where the energy comes from suddenly but been feeling hopeful past few days. I get a headache just thinking about this stormy roller coaster life. At least things are okay tonight.

[bpforever1]

I am still psychotic but not delusional anymore. May be, I will recover soon. I took my medication today and have been taking it always daily. I slept a lot today and am resting. I am hoping to survive and to enjoy life once again. The weather is nice here. It makes me happy.

today I have been setting up my new telephone (cell phone)

all good.. for now, just got to figure out how to do certain things with it. it's keeping me busy

I'm excited because I managed to set up a trivia game for this forum (well the bipolar forum really), and I just hope people decide to play it

[Cornucopia]

I quit smoking in January, and I started taking Seroquel less than two weeks ago. Everything is fine, except I feel like a magnet for fat- it’s like everything I eat just stays put inside me converting itself to fat

Sigh, maybe I need to be careful what I eat for a period and see if that helps. I don’t think I have eaten more than normally, but maybe I have. I feel stuffed.

It’s only a couple kg, but I was rather small, and everything is storing in my belly and boobs…

Lol, other than that: I am doing great. I really want to keep it this way, I don’t want the weight to become a reason for me not being able to be on this medication.

Ps: I just had dinner, and I feel bloated, I’m just whining.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bpforever1

I am still psychotic but not delusional anymore. May be, I will recover soon. I took my medication today and have been taking it always daily. I slept a lot today and am resting. I am hoping to survive and to enjoy life once again. The weather is nice here. It makes me happy.

If you are not delusional anymore why would you say that you are still psychotic?
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Idk where the energy comes from suddenly but been feeling hopeful past few days. I get a headache just thinking about this stormy roller coaster life. At least things are okay tonight.

I would encourage you to seek a pysch doctor and a therapist to help you work out your feelings.

I am glad that you are feeling hopeful and that things are okay for you last night.
Getting a proper diagnosis instead of guessing can really help you to better understand yourself.
That is if you want to know of course.
It was a relief for me to finally get a diagnosis, to explain some of my behaviors over the years.
good luck to you in your endeavors and welcome to PC.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[wildflowerchild25]

Anxiety is incredibly severe today. I feel like I’m having a heart attack. If I didn’t know it was anxiety I would be at the ER right now. I don’t know wtf my problem is. I don’t know if the alcohol destabilized me or if I would have been here anyway, I don’t know. I do know I have pledged to give up drinking beyond one glass of wine at least until my birthday (April 4).

I feel like my sister in law is mad at me. She still hasn’t responded to my texts. Maybe my messages aren’t going through though or she’s sick. I don’t know. She hasn’t posted on Social media either which is very unusual for her. I’m worried about her. I’m worried about everything. I’m scared for my life right now. Everyone’s life.

I’m at a professional development day for my district. My next workshop is drugs and alcohol. It will be very triggering for me. I shouldn’t have signed up for it. Maybe that’s part of the reason I’m such a big ****ing mess right now. I don’t know.

I can’t eat today. I feel like if I do I will throw it back up shortly. I drank a protein shake just to get something in my stomach.

I have therapy today and I usually feel better after talking to my therapist so hopefully I will feel better soon.

[BPQuestions]

Im ok. Thats where I want to stay. Im taking my meds and trying to be the best I can be today.

[251turnaround]

Stable as can be right now. I think I have been for the past month and a half now. I like it. I don't think it's ever lasted this long for me before. Of course I still have some little blips of ups and downs but they are very manageable.

My biggest problem right now is getting over my stimulant cravings. I've been trying to make do with lots of caffeine but it's just not the same.