Depression and relationships

For those of you close relationships, do you become emotionally distant with your partner when in depression or dealing with other symptoms/fall out from bipolar? Or are you open about what is going on?

I have a tendency to withdrawal and be really distant with people when I'm dealing with stuff. This in turn makes them think I'm upset with them. Then I get incredibly anxious when they ask me what's wrong and just shut down to where I can't speak.

Didn't know if others went through this or had any input.

Not currently in an intimate relationship and don’t see any prospects for one on the horizon. I don’t plan on disclosing my dx or med to my next partner, if there is one, nor my history. At this point I’m too tired to start another relationship.

My H knows about my diagnoses. He and I have talked about them (for years) and how they impact our relationship. He has a DX of BP II; yet, is much more treatable and, thus, stable than am I. I have C-PTSD in addition. We are both very open with one another and our relationship is still going strong after 20+ years. (Knock on wood.)

If either of us feels the other withdrawing, we usually initiate a conversation about it. We know one another, and one another's moods, very well. We are both very compassionate toward one another.

Granted, a relationship where two are diagnosed with a condition may be unusual? It likely gets much more complicated if only one partner has a DX, and/or a history. It can get complicated, I am sure. If I were dating, it would feel very complicated to me.

I do think it's possible to reach a point of trust with another, in which sharing openly is safe, even nurtured.


WC

I am totally open about things. If anyone I have no reason to distrust does ask they will find out. I'm not in a relationship but do have a huge crush on someone. She already knows I am in treatment and was impressed by my candor about it. I have a few others that I make certain know I am bipolar so that they might be helpful if they recognize symptoms. Hopefully they won't do as my ex did and abuse the situation with manipulation. I never could count on my parents to look for symptoms, because they have no clue. One's a massive narcissist that knows everything (aka nothing) and the other isn't acute enough to notice. Great couple, eh? Don't get me wrong, I do care about my parents.
If I'm in another relationship and I trust her enough, she'll be invited to my sessions at some point. Yes, I'm that brave. I've taken friends in before because I needed someone. Sucks those friends died or moved away, but those things happen.

Based on my last relationship where what I disclosed was either twisted and used against me as a weapon or used to mirror/mimic me as a way to try to emotionally connect to me, and as per the advice of my t, I am not going to disclose anything to anyone I may date in the future. Honestly my last relationship was so damaging that I am no where near ready for the next one.

Yes it's like a vicious cycle - I just go into myself, eventually to the point where I can't even stand to be touched. C-PTSD though, depression is just one manifestation - this is really about attachment and abandonment issues for me, the closer I get to someone the more scared I get about losing them which fuels the depression and downward spiral.

I really miss love though, and yet when I am in love it comes close to killing me.

a serious relationship scares the hell out of me for many different reasons. But at this point I don't know if I would want to live with someone EVER even if It was basically serious. I may be stable or flying high when I met him but then what? He will be left wondering what the hell happened once the depressions sets in (and it always sets in)
depression is not pretty

Thank you for this topic! I was having the same thoughts. Relationships are the last thing in my mind. The meds I take absolutely destroy my ability to have intimate contact (sex) with anyone. I know that as a man that puts me at a significant disadvantage to the point I've not dated in years. Not to mention, my cycling moods puts others off to me (my perception). Right now, I'm just living for the moment...not even able to hold down a job. So frustrating.

I realized last night/this morning that any relationship I'll ever be in will have at minimum an air of seriousness to it. Even the couple of "casual" relations I've had were still very serious. I'm for real and real isn't casual, it's serious.

I told my therapist yesterday I feel like a leper (I make myself a leper), I have tended to stay away from relationships these days because I feel the pain of attachment is too much and I'm also too shy to initiate anyway - plus what it does to me I don't feel I should inflict myself on others

but I still miss intimacy - it's not painful because I don't like it, particularly in the right 'dose'' - just that I don't handle it well in the long run. I think that's why I am slightly in love with my therapist as she is the only person I know that not only really gets this but that I am able to be that intimate with (obviously non sexually).

I literally just started a relationship and I shouldn’t have. I’ve been hypomanic af for a couple of weeks now. This lead to me disclosing bipolar on the first night we were talking :-/ and basically my entire life history within a few days. He disclosed some things about himself too so I don’t feel alone but I am worried what will happen when I inevitably crash into depression. Will he still be understanding? My husband was never understanding of depression. Which is some ******** because he had psychotic depressions himself. I just hope I don’t crash too hard. I do what you do, withdraw into myself and not want to talk to anyone. It almost hurts to smile. My husband used to just yell at me for it.

Both my husband and I were pretty open from the get-go. He has MS (and depression related to it), and I have my handbasket of MI diagnoses and medical nuisances. He's typically concerned about what mood I'm in. His second most-used phrase (besides "I love you" of course) is "Are we cool?" If I'm withdrawing he's going to ask about it. I may be annoyed by it at times, but I know his heart is in the right place. We've talked a lot about our conditions and things to look for. We have a numbering system of 0 to 5 for our moods.