[Secretum]

I feel like I can't do anything correctly. I literally mean everything; I can't drive right. I can't communicate effectively with others. I can't even think right. I wonder why my friends and family put up with me, when I have nothing to contribute. I wonder why God made me; it seems that he designed me to fail. I have feelings for someone (a triumph because I had been too depressed to be interested in romance for a long time), but I know that I can never have a relationship with her because she is nearly perfect and I am a loser.

I'm just sending this out to the universe. Anyone else feel this way? Hugs are greatly appreciated, as are tips on how to be more confident.

[Confusedinomicon]

I think you're thinking right because you're writing coherent sentences. If you haven't gotten in an accident, you're probably driving right.

What problems are you having with communicating?

Are you feeling confused at all?

[Trippin2.0]

You write right, I understand you just fine. You drive right too, you're alive, so I'm right. I'm nearly 28 and refuse to get behind the wheel. My depth perception is SO off, THAT aint right, it's so ****** it's not even funny. I don't want to endanger anybody. Might try a motorcycle tho. Regarding your love interest: DON'T put her on a pedestal. She's got the same amount of chromosomes as you and I, with her own set of flaws. Doing so will just reinforce your percieved disadvantage. Percieved? Yes you read right, (another thing you do right) percieved bcoz she didn't say 'Secretum I'm perfect and you're not, therefore we can't date'. Btw, if she did, I'd say 'run forrest run'! For me, self-confidence starts with self love... Sending soothing hugs your way dear one

[bluematador]

I get lost in my negative thoughts sometimes to. I beat myself up. Our vulnerabilities are what makes us lovable and are what makes intimacy possible. It's true we aren't perfect, we have our flaws but we have our gifts as well. Everyone has a gift to offer the world. Sometimes it's hard to see when the darkness consumes us but it's there.

[faerie_moon_x]

I agree you are writing okay. I can tell that I'm not doing great because my grammar and punctuation are so bad. I used to be a grammar master. But its easy to understand your writing, so that's not bad.

I know how it feels to think that God just created me to be a loser. I feel like that a lot. When I was younger I thought I was "magically special." Now I feel quite the oposite.

And it isn't true you will never have a relationship. The negative thoughts are all your depression trying to drag you down. I'm sure she's not perfect. Thinking that way will surely cause you to be disappointed when you learn she's not. Best to love an imperfect being as an imperfect being than nothing at all. You deserve love, too.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

When I was younger I thought I was "magically special." Now I feel quite the oposite.

Me too, wow!.. In a non-religious way, but still. Gosh, it was such a long time ago.

[DaveyJones]

Originally Posted by Secretum

I feel like I can't do anything correctly. I literally mean everything; I can't drive right. I can't communicate effectively with others. I can't even think right. I wonder why my friends and family put up with me, when I have nothing to contribute. I wonder why God made me; it seems that he designed me to fail. I have feelings for someone (a triumph because I had been too depressed to be interested in romance for a long time), but I know that I can never have a relationship with her because she is nearly perfect and I am a loser.

I'm just sending this out to the universe. Anyone else feel this way? Hugs are greatly appreciated, as are tips on how to be more confident.

Yes, I'm afraid I'm like this a lot… it's like I'm afraid to do anything because I'll f*** it up.

It gets really old. It's gotten to the point to where I've pretty much given up on any kind of dreams. I'm just happy to make it through the day. Well, happy is probably too strong a word.

I had written a bunch more along these lines, but I didn't want to hijack your thread… I just wanted to say that I know how you feel, and it's really starting to kill me inside… so, I guess if you manage to find your way out, give me a holler… I'll be right behind you! And many hugs your way. Man–hugs of course!

[BlackPup]

I think its a warped, negative view of yourself thats the problem. With depression its easy to see everything about our selves in a bad way. We forget the reality that everyone is flawed and can only see bad things in ourselves. Try to challenge thoughts that say that everything is bad about you and start trying to see some good things. Maybe get a close friend or family member or your T to help find good things to focus on.

[bsnatched]

I wish I could help, but I am feeling the same way. It sucks!

[bsnatched]

The thing is, I'm older, I know I am all that, Lol. Really, I'm in better shape, look better, have realized my good qualities & my bad with confidence. Have taken a lot of chances on me in the last 6 years, just to end up crazy as a bed bug & depressed. In the last two years I have had to except that people are really not nice & who you think they are. Wow, I started 6 years ago confident and excited about starting over after 47 years just to end up finding out in the last two years that you shouldn't turn your back or fall in love because everyone is basically out for themselves & will hurt you for know reason at all. Having a hard time excepting that I was delusional all my life & reality sucks. My heart hurts & it won't stop & dont think it ever will. If I have to pop pills just function, wha'ts the poing.

[faerie_moon_x]

I was thinking you know the saying "beer goggles?" Well we get "depression goggles" and "mania goggles." Our brains produce or don't produce the chemicals which gives us these preceptions that are false.

[Secretum]

Wow, what an incredible amount of support when I needed it most! Thanks, everyone. I'm sorry that I took so long to reply to all of your wonderful comments and hugs. I really did appreciate it all. I'm feeling a little better now. My pdoc added another AD (Lexapro) to my cocktail, so hopefully I'll be feeling even better soon. I hope that you all are doing well; hugs to those who aren't!

[Ciaran]

I would look at how often you choose to communicate the message 'I get everything wrong' to others. Is this something that you are regularly relaying to people around you? Do you convey this message in a number of different ways?

Should you discover that you are consistently giving over this message then you will most likely have a way forwards, as the role of 'the failure' is perhaps the game you play in order to find your place amongst others. We all have our games and identifying them and the desired reaction from those around us is fundamental to change. How is it you want others to react? How else could you ask them for what you feel you need.

[Afina]

Originally Posted by Secretum

I feel like I can't do anything correctly. I literally mean everything; I can't drive right. I can't communicate effectively with others. I can't even think right. I wonder why my friends and family put up with me, when I have nothing to contribute. I wonder why God made me; it seems that he designed me to fail. I have feelings for someone (a triumph because I had been too depressed to be interested in romance for a long time), but I know that I can never have a relationship with her because she is nearly perfect and I am a loser.

I'm just sending this out to the universe. Anyone else feel this way? Hugs are greatly appreciated, as are tips on how to be more confident.

I feel exactly like that, except driving is about the only thing I can do well enough to get around. Everything else I suck at. I have trouble getting along with people because one day I can remain calm and patient and the next day I can't. Sometimes I seem to be right on cue when it comes to being sensitive to other's feelings and other times it seems like I'm offending everyone and making them mad and I don't mean to. I just can't always keep my mouth shut when people say offensive things. Some days I know how to deal with it appropriately and other days I sound too harsh when I speak to them and I'm overly emotional. I've been asking God all of my life what my purpose is and can't seem to find anything I am good at. I'm on disability, but I'm not stupid or crazy. I used to make good grades but chronic health problems or whatever else is wrong with me that I inherited, makes it hard for me to think well enough to do much. I want to find something I can study and be good at but I search and search and it eludes me.

Everything I consider seems to be something I think I could never do and not because I lack confidence, but because I realistically look at what I have been capable of over the years. I can see what problems my mental disability causes and not sure I am fit for anything but have the desire to try something, even if it's hard and I fail. If I could just find something I like well enough, I thought maybe it would inspire me to want to work hard to become something, but I have no clue what that is.

You would think after praying about it for years now, I would know by now but I don't. Sometimes I feel like God created me to be nothing more than a person that can't do much of anything so I will forever have to contend with people that hate me for it so I will learn some kind of life lesson and have to show them love anyway. I can find no other purpose in life other than this. Either that or somewhere down the line I ruined myself so I will forever suffer for it.

I haven't had any kind of romance for many years either. I won't settle for someone not good for me, but I don't feel like I have accomplished enough for anyone to be interested in me that I feel is worth dating. Plus I am trying to get well first so I will be healthy enough to have a relationship. I feel like I need to do something with my life first but I don't know if I can ever do that so I just keep taking it day by day doing what I can.

I try to take care of the housework and help my daughter out with my new granddaughter. If I could hold down a good job then I think I could help them out better so I am back to square one and the reason I got on the computer tonight in the first place was to get some good ideas but it still eludes me. Hope things get better for you. I am sure we all have some kind of purpose. I just wish I could figure out mine. I wish I was more capable than living off the government to support myself because I am disabled. Most people don't understand that. It makes me feel awful and people mistreat me for it, but I've had difficulties that make holding down a job seem impossible to me. Thanks for letting me vent. Don't give up hope and I won't either. I have to keep believing my God is powerful enough to do something with someone like me in Jesus' name, Amen.

[secretsover]

Hi
I read your post "I cant do anything right"
I am suffering from the same problem. I cant either drive properly. I thought I could drive so I ask for my friends two wheeler but after one round he said u cant ride it. Its so heartbreaking and insulting. I dont where I am going wrong. I also like this guy but in front of him I am loser. I also cant dance properly neither cook. I have no talent. Neither no one finds me attractive. No one messages me on watsapp. Never!!!
If you have found solution for your problem plz do share. Plz help me out!!!

[Shazerac]

I know how you feel. I suck at being a human being. Sometimes I’m not quite sure I am. But I know I’m not a llama or and elephant. So there is that small comfort. Hang in there

[~Christina]

This Thread dates back to 2012 Shes been doing much better LOL