[wildflowerchild25]

Hopeless I am so sorry

[Tucson]

I am here. I am very unhappy, and I do not know why. I am thinking of spending some money that I really do not have to spend. It is related to something I really do not need. It would be another toy for myself. I do not think this is a mixed episode. Buying new toys makes me happy until I cannot afford my groceries. Right now I am on Depekote which I think has been keeping my hnds in both pocket. Maybe sitting on them would be better?

[wildflowerchild25]

I found a vape pen with cartridges. I have been drinking tonight. It’s all a big ball of terrible ness. I will hopefully see clearer tomorrow/

[Victoria'smom]

Unwell. Took an ambein.

[Cocosurviving]

I do not celebrate the 4th of July. My oldest daughter was off work and was really low yesterday. Yesterday was her ex-BF’s birthday and he past away from suicide in Feb 2018. I told her she needs to talk about it in therapy. Yesterday she also had a big test to take for a potential new job. She was stressed that she may not have done well. Today I called her up and told her to get dressed. We went out to eat and to see a movie. Both of my daughters enjoy theirselves.
I did as well.

[Torq]

I dunno how I feel... Didn't work the holiday at all which is extremely rare and I did not work like a madman on my projects. I relaxed but I felt very uneasy and stressed out all day. I had severe racing thoughts in the morning and late in the afternoon.

[Pookyl]

Major cock-up (for me) with meds today. Forgot to take morning AND midday meds. That’s been enough to trigger an episode in the past. Didn’t realise my mistake until 3pm.
Oh well, have taken some meds now after consulting with the community nurse.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

I think my marriage is over. I'm so heart broken.

My heart goes out to you.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

I had met my new pdoc on Monday. She seems nice. The intake interview, so far, is very intense, in depth. Very triggering for c-PTSD. Flashbacks, 24/7.

Love to All.

WC

[Erti]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I had met my new pdoc on Monday. She seems nice. The intake interview, so far, is very intense, in depth. Very triggering for c-PTSD. Flashbacks, 24/7.

Love to All.

WC

I find my intake interview with a trauma counselor was exhausting. The intake interview for my current counselor was simple and less invasive. Of course she doesn't specialize in trauma.

I'm concerned about a certain PC persona's obsession with K-pop idol Lee Soon-Kyu, not that it's any of my business. I've had access over the last nine months to inside information as a Korean technical editor with access to chaebol, entertainment agency and photaku technical specifications, test protocols, research studies and internal correspondence. K-pop idols are constructs made from whole cloth, as real as Max Headroom. Someday we'll all be in love with perfect animated images devoid of reality, but someday hasn't come yet.

yesterday I went on 7 cups, and spoke to a really nice person.

more often than not, I don't find 7 cups that helpful- but the girl yesterday was really supportive and really helpful

kind of made my evening that someone was out their and listening, and caring to what I had to say

I am off to get mcdonalds today.

cooked all week... need a break, and I could do with the trip- not been out all week

Can't think straight or clear. My liver is struggling to remove the toxins from my system.

I know that this is the bipolar check thread. But these toxins are messing with my mood.

I feel like sleeping but the circus won't shut the heck up in my head.

Today's pic from the same walk I did. I had to drink 3 redbulls to make it back home..

Possible trigger:

I took all the doses I skipped of Clozaril a couple nights ago. I think I passed out in the bathroom but I don't remember

so I'm not feeling very manic today. I haven't called PHP to say I'm done, but I'll do that tomorrow. I need to shower so badly. I was starting to get paranoid too, thinkiing my work poisoned me and someone was following me home

[Rainbow Child]

After a fabulous Fourth of July, I’m not feeling well at all today. I’m extremely irritable and down. I’m not okay with where my life is. I’m not okay with how I’ve been maintaining basic duties. I’m not okay with family and friend relationships. I’m not sure I have the energy nor focus to fix all of this. I want to cry, but I’m too pissy. I want to be left alone. That’s not happening. I’m going to clean my kitchen now.

[pirilin]

I can't complain.....It won't help.

[Unrigged64072835]

Didn't want to come home, but we did. Husband had a sleep doctor appointment so we came back early. It was fine until we crossed the state line and people were driving like idiots again.

Daughter's ex is moving some of his stuff today, and putting the rest in the garage. We already changed the locks and daughter has the garage remote. Husband wants everything gone in a week. We'll see if that actually happens. I'm really anxious but trying to keep a calm attitude. Biggest issue is whether daughter will get back the car and what shape it's in. She has to deal with that.

On the plus side, daughter's friend has a new job and they're moving to a smaller apartment on Aug 3. We should have enough time to clean the upstairs before the contractors mess it up again.

Also trying to rework the budget as this trip took a big bite out of it. Worth it though, and felt better for a while. We should still be okay, just tight for this month.

I'm exhausted but okay.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

I think my marriage is over. I'm so heart broken.

I'm so sorry to hear this, Hopeless.

[Scooter9]

Holding on today. Expecting some bad news at work tomorrow - just hope they're not outright ending things.

I keep thinking of how things were - when I had motivation, when I felt secure, when I liked who I am. I want to feel like that again. All I feel now is depression and more depression.

[Daonnachd]

I have ECT tomorrow. We're leaving for the hospital at 6:15am. Maybe somebody cares, but I doubt it.


I haven't been feeling well. I sure hope this makes a difference.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

I think my marriage is over. I'm so heart broken.

I am on marriage #4 now, and finally have the right one.
Maybe the right one is in your future?
Never give up

[Blueberrybook]

Mostly, OK. Had a scare today where an irate driver tailgated me ages. My daughter was in the car. I don't know how I avoided a panic attack. Anyway, I wrote a separate post about it should you want to read more about that. I am still shaken up by it.

Tomorrow, my daughter has a playdate with one of her 2 best friends from school. It is the craziest thing, around other people, my daughter is an extreme introvert. Both her best friends are very, very extroverted. Hopefully, it won't rain tomorrow, and the girls can go swimming.

[Standup2me]

Hubby said "I wouldn't mind if you stopped at the gym on the way home"... hmmm I wonder if that is a hint
Although he did comment on how good I am looking lately

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by vertigo

I have ECT tomorrow. We're leaving for the hospital at 6:15am. Maybe somebody cares, but I doubt it.


I haven't been feeling well. I sure hope this makes a difference.

I am glad you are able to go to your ECT appt and I also hope it gives you relief.


WC

[Pookyl]

A bit out of sorts today. I guess it’s to be expected following the shenanigans with yesterday’s meds.