[Tucson]

I am here. Knocking on wood, my MS may be working. Time will tell. However, I am below what appears to be the theraputic range for the med. I did purchase a blood pressure wrist device for about $35. I am using it to validate my heart monitor of my sport watch. So I hope this does not lead to a spending tree.

I do have orthostatic hypotensiom. It is worse some days compared to other days. I think my meds are making it worse. When the day starts out with me getting really dizzy, possibly almost passing out, I will take my blood pressure through the day. I take it laying down, take it sitting up, and then take it standing up.

As an aside, I went through three cardiologists before I ran into one that understands this type of BP check. I told him about this, and asked him why other doctors could not figure this out. He told me this should of been the obvious thing for them to do. Scary.

I could have sworn I took my evening meds with dinner at 7 pm, but apparently I didn't. I almost never forget them on time. But time kept passing and I wasn't tired at all, so I went downstairs and found my Thursday evening meds still in the box at 11:45 pm. I took them then, but Seroquel XR doesn't seem to make me tired until 3 hours after taking it. I'm still wide awake and it's after 1 am. I watched late night TV then wrote a thank you communication to my state's governor based on something he said in Stephen Colbert's show. That doesn't mean I'm hypomanic, but my energy is higher now than during the day. I think it usually works this way, but am wondering if the pseudophedrine I took earlier for my severe sinus headache is a factor, too. Also, I see a new prospective therapist tomorrow (today) for the first time. My psychiatrist forbids me to take pseudophedrine, but on rare occasions I confess I do if my headache is severe and persistent. It's the only thing that helps in such cases. I don't want to suffer!

I will eventually fall asleep and then I won't be able to get up with the alarm. It's a drag!

[bpforever1]

I am tired and did not go out today. I am apathetic and a little depressed. I don't know the reason why I am so tired. I did not do much this week. It is annoying to be so tired. Oh well, I slept all day. I have much to do and will to my chores once I feel more energetic. Also, I have no reason to be depressed but wonder if it is coming from my perimenopausal condition. I get hot flashes occasionally and just feel like burning piece of coal. I am not happy about this.

I might want to give up on this amazing job opportunity. I just don't want the job anymore. I mean, I have all the reason in the world to take this new job, and yet... something is holding me back. I don't know what. I just have a gut feeling that it's a bad idea.

Maybe part of these feelings is because I feel slightly depressed right now, but I don't want to move all the way from Massachusetts to Cali just to find out that my gut feeling was right.

I slept for eons. Took a nap from 3pm to 5:30pm yesterday. Then went to bed at 9:30pm and woke up at 5:30am. Then I went to bed at 6am and woke up at 9:30am.

So that's... 2.5hrs + 8hrs + 3.5 hrs... Total of 14hrs.

[Tucson]

I am here. I still am waiting for my leg to heal so I can resume my daily activity, in particular, my exercise. My leg still is hurting, however, I have not taken any Tylenol. I want to become more active. I am thinking of volunteering. Perhaps with Pima Animal Control where I would walk dogs. I think this would be theraputic for me too.

on wednesday evening I think it was (yeah, wednesday evening), I had a really rough time with flashbacks and memories. it was my fault, I guess, I should have known when to stop, but it was a hard night and I felt trapped.

yesterday was just a blah day... " yeah, I'm here, I'm alive, so what?" that kind of thing.

today is slightly better, and I did manage to get out for a bit this morning to the park while my anxiety is on a good level

[Lifeischallenging]

I haven't been manic or depressed yet I am still overdrawing my checking account. That is the worst part about this disorder. I hope I'll be able to do good in college because I feel like the stuff I learned in high school has already leaked out of my head. I'm looking at other colleges, not just here or international, but on my continent. I think it would be a good change for me if I went somewhere different. Its nerve wracking, though, trying figure out college tuition and cost of living. I know I can do it as I was able to manage money before as a kid. My anxiety hasn't really kicked in for a while which is good. I have a new medication which is actually taking the place of my Risperdal. Zipraysidone if anyone has heard of it? I'm ready to explain to you guys my fear of social situations and why I don't trust people. I don't how I should tell you on here though.

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by Tucson

I did purchase a blood pressure wrist device for about $35. .

I recently bought one of those for my 84 year old aunt. I was told by a cardiologist that the most accurate one goes around your arm. She, the cardiologist, said the wrist type is not reliable. I was surprised because I asked the pharmacist before getting it but I trust the cardiologist more.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I got my tattoo done! It looks gorgeous. Covers up the scars very nicely. I think I managed to attach a photo of it but I’m not sure if it worked. If it doesn’t oh well. I’m very happy with it and so glad I got it, even though it was quite painful. No more painful than what I put myself through I’m sure.

Lovely tattoo!

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I might want to give up on this amazing job opportunity. I just don't want the job anymore. I mean, I have all the reason in the world to take this new job, and yet... something is holding me back. I don't know what. I just have a gut feeling that it's a bad idea.

Maybe part of these feelings is because I feel slightly depressed right now, but I don't want to move all the way from Massachusetts to Cali just to find out that my gut feeling was right.

I slept for eons. Took a nap from 3pm to 5:30pm yesterday. Then went to bed at 9:30pm and woke up at 5:30am. Then I went to bed at 6am and woke up at 9:30am.

So that's... 2.5hrs + 8hrs + 3.5 hrs... Total of 14hrs.

Could it be because of your grandma's condition as well/

[Unrigged64072835]

Daughter's cat is fine. She does have yeast and bacteria in her ears but not more than normal. She's getting ear drops as a preventative and her ears need to be cleaned every other day. Daughter will start that tomorrow morning, as she and the guys will be staying at the friend's house tonight. Friend's dad is buying him a car tomorrow, so they're all going to check it out.

I've had a pounding headache since yesterday. Ibuprofen stopped working early this afternoon. I'm taking more in about ½ hour. Still making dinner despite the pain. At least it'll be quiet now except for the cats.

Daughter's boyfriend didn't get the bank job. Don't know if he'll be looking for other jobs.

I'm tired but not as bad as yesterday. I would've taken a nap if it wasn't for the pain. Trileptal seems to make me tired, but I rather be tired than have akathisia and TD. I just hope it's not causing the headaches as well.

Hugs to those that want them, and double for those who are struggling.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Daughter's cat is fine. She does have yeast and bacteria in her ears but not more than normal. She's getting ear drops as a preventative and her ears need to be cleaned every other day. Daughter will start that tomorrow morning, as she and the guys will be staying at the friend's house tonight. Friend's dad is buying him a car tomorrow, so they're all going to check it out.

I've had a pounding headache since yesterday. Ibuprofen stopped working early this afternoon. I'm taking more in about ½ hour. Still making dinner despite the pain. At least it'll be quiet now except for the cats.

Daughter's boyfriend didn't get the bank job. Don't know if he'll be looking for other jobs.

I'm tired but not as bad as yesterday. I would've taken a nap if it wasn't for the pain. Trileptal seems to make me tired, but I rather be tired than have akathisia and TD. I just hope it's not causing the headaches as well.

Hugs to those that want them, and double for those who are struggling.

(((((( Fharraige ))))))

Hoping you feel better, pronto!


WC

[VerMOZZica]

I didn`t get much done this week because of my depression. I did go to one group session but didn`t go back again this week. I just felt/feel so tired. I also had some anxiety creep in. Not a good week I guess.

[Tucson]

I am here. Did not accomplish much, but I may clean up the kitchen. Maybe do a load of laundry. Watch some more TV or Netflix. Maybe walk around the complex once. I do not know. Oh yes, maybe go to a iHob and have their hot chocolate.

BTW iHop now calls themselve iHob. This means something like Itnernational House of Burgers. They want to appeal to both the lunch crowd and their breakfast crowd. This is a marketing ploy.

[wildflowerchild25]

Had a great day today. Unexpectedly got to see NV again. It’s rare I get to see him twice In one week. All we did was take a nap which I know sounds lame but it feels so good to sleep next to someone after so many years of sleeping alone. Now that he has his own room he’s renting I may be able to spend the occasional night there, so that’ll be nice too. As of right now we haven’t been able to do that bc my son comes in my bed every night and NV lives with his aunt who won’t allow him to bring girls into the house because of his young cousins. Yeah we’re losers I know. But he’s getting out. My only concern is he’s moving into the city and I’m a bit afraid of the city, although he’s not moving into a particularly violent area. But still, it’s pretty deep in there. I hope I will be safe. I have no worries for him, he grew up in Brooklyn so he knows how to handle himself. I am a typical suburbanite though.

I’m getting soooo upset with the state of this house. I’m really going to try harder to make it nice looking. I kind of gave up cleaning for awhile because it’s so discouraging to clean all the time and feel like nothing is actually getting cleaned. Like it looks horrible no matter what I do so why bother? I hate living here. I wish I could find a job. I wish I didn’t have to give up teaching. That would have made things so much easier on me, at least financially. But my mental health is more important than money. What good is money going to do me if I’m hospitalized every six months in a breakdown?

My prescription COBRA coverage still hasn’t come through so I don’t know what happened with that. The letter said I had until July 31st to elect and I elected on like June 4 and sent a check. The check hasn’t been taken out of my account and my insurance hasn’t been reinstated. So right now I’m paying out of pocket. I’m using GoodRx and hopefully will be able to keep the total cost under $200. I won’t be able to get my son his inhaler though. But the doctor said he only “might” have asthma and probably doesn’t even need one, and I still have his rescue inhaler if he does start coughing a lot. Obviously if it was a necessity I would find a way to pay for it but it’s not. It’s horrible that an inhaler costs $250 per month though. And that my meds will likely cost that as well, even using the GoodRx coupons. And the fact that they’re generic, you would think they’re cheap but not at my pharmacy. I’m going to try to find a different pharmacy where they might be cheaper.

I took my son to the carnival today and spent a lot of money there but it was for one night of fun. I figure we have to have fun sometimes. He wanted to go to the water park on Sunday but I said I just spent a bunch of money at the carnival and we would have to wait on the water park. I should be getting my first unemployment payment soon. I got notice that it was approved. So hopefully that comes through.

I just checked in so hard it hurt.

I haven't spoken with my brother in a year. We are only siblings and our parents died. It's better than it sounds.

anxiety is high today.

so is depression

blah

[Tucson]

I am here. My injured leg is still hurting, sometimes allot. I think this time I may have actually damaged something in my knee. I have been avoiding taking Tylenol. My friend called me to tell me he is closer for getting the money from his new client. When this happens, we have planned to go yachting for a couple weeks on the Great Lakes around Michigan. I need to get out of Tucson. So this will be a nice vacation for me.

[Unrigged64072835]

One great thing about not having kids around is that I can unload the dishwasher at 4 AM and not worry about waking up anybody. My husband is usually in the basement with all kinds of white noise running so he doesn't hear me. He tends to wake up early with muscle pain so he goes downstairs until he can sleep.

Along with the dishes I swept the kitchen and vacuumed the living room and master bedroom. I'll have to sweep the hallway again tomorrow but it won't be much. It felt good to get rid of some excess energy. Will have to start working out soon.

Kids will be out late tonight playing D&D, so this evening will be good as well.

After waking me up at 2 AM, the headache has finally gone and while I still have some pressure it's not as bad as throbbing sharp pain.

I'm doing okay, just a little tired.

Doing alright.
Been pretty mellow yesterday and today. Mostly puttering. Walked to the grocery store today. Supposed to be hot tomorrow, so will probably stay inside and watch dvds. I have a bag I am aiming to sew. I really want it to be done, and hope it turns out (just did a bit of sketching and started cutting ), but my sewing machine is broken, so it's slow going by hand and I'm tending to procrastinate.

Oh! And reading the forums a lot. Obviously.

afternoon/ evening:

had a seizure

drank a bit of coke

struggled with ****ing flashbacks

I want it to stop... but I can't make it stop because the grounding box isn't helping me

[Blueberrybook]

Went to a family reunion today. Gag. Most of the people I didn't know. Some of those I did know, I wish I didn't. Got lucky and won a stupid mirror made by the aunt I hate and her husband. Already threw it away. Purged for the first time in forever It's been at least 8 or 9 YEARS. Did it practicially automatically too, without thinking about it. While I had been diagnosed with anorexia, purging type, in college, nearly all of the purging was through exercise, not by throwing up. Today was like one of those few times when it was automatic and easy for me, and I hadn't even eaten any of the foods that had been easy for me to throw up or overeaten (ate a normal amount). Go figure.

Stupid family reunion. I don't know the lady who volunteered to host the thing next year, and I don't think I will be going.

Long drive there & back. Exhausted now. Wish I could just go to bed, but it's only 5 PM. We have to eat dinner soon, but I still feel blah. I didn't even overeat at the reunion and still have no appetite. On the way home, my daughter had one of those glow stick things someone had given her at the reunion break and get all over her and the backseat of the car. FYI, those things smell terrible when broken, sort of like vinegar but worse. Got to clean that up too.

[Wild Coyote]

I had gotten out a bit more over the past 2 weeks. It's been good to get out and to not feel on edge or in fight/flight status.

Saw a local band last night. Enjoyed them at an outdoor concert.

Going through med changes. Transitioning with doctors -- a couple of them, at the same time.

The weather has been gorgeous!

Love to All!

WC

yesterday night was bad, but not as bad as I originally braced myself for

it was just a case of not sleeping and having a few flashbacks (I was expecting a lot worse)

today I have a tummy ache for no apparent reason, (nothing obvious causing it), but feeling okay mood wise

anxiety a little high because family are trying to start some drama on email, but trying to ignore it

quiet day really.. just got to cook my roast later on

[scatterbrained04]

Haven't been on PC too much last week or two. Hope everyone is doing ok. I've had a lot going on with me since a giant cut back on trileptal. My body has been wigging out. I've gone to the ER twice. Initially I ended up with what we think is costochondritis, which started within a couple days of the cut back. This week I got real lightheaded and dizzy and my muscles are twitching and having spasms. Felt really weird for a bit. This sucks. My anxiety has been horrible. But I don't disagree with the cut back because my sodium was so low. It has slightly rebounded. Plus side, since the cut back, my depression is loads better. Hoping things will calm down soon. Never increased my Latuda with all that's been going on. May not need to now since my mood has improved.