Drove to work today feeling drunk. My meds just messed with me this morning... I was halfway there when I suddenly got double vision.

I ended up driving with one eye closed since, well, I'm stubborn. It was really dangerous what I did, though. I don't want to do that again. Now I have a headache, too... Wonderful. At least the drunkeness has worn off.

Anyway, tomorrow is my appt with the neuropsych lady. Hopefully it doesn't last too long or piss me off, as I really don't want to do it anymore. I thought it'd be okay, but nahhh. I don't care for it anymore. She's just going to diagnose me with some sort of schizo. That's what everyone else says.

[251turnaround]

I'm crashing from the mania but I'm still having psychotic symptoms from time to time. I'm really concerned.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by Tucson

D&D is still being played by teenagers?

Well, they're kind of out of teenage range (most are 21, a couple are older than that.) Not like my brother who's 54 and still playing with friends.

Sorry to hear about your leg.

I want my T to like me so I haven't told him what I've done or what I'm up to, which seems counterproductive.

[Unrigged64072835]

My husband and I talked about moving again. We figure in order to pay for repairs and have money to move we will have to stay here another year. I am so down, because I want to get out of this state, never mind the house. Nothing I can really do though, it's just the way it is on a fixed income.

I swept the floors this morning along with a few minor chores. My husband is mopping them now.

I'm really bummed.

not doing too bad... anxiety was bad this afternoon, so, so bad

still was able to eat dinner and watch some tv... eventually..

now feel depressed because I've just found out I've been removed from a mental health eamil group for " not being stable enough"

I'd take it as an insult, but actually I do know what they mean- and it's more an attitude to life thing, less about psymptoms

I'm all over the place. All I feel like doing today is sleeping.

[bpforever1]

I have to work today and only slept about five hours. It is ok. I'll come back and try to sleep before my next gig. I feel fine but admit my mind is like rice crispies- snap, crackle, and pop. I will probably talk a lot today and say some nonsense. Hypomania is my state of mind. I am becoming hyperactive but will survive. I took my medication so I should be ok.

I've heard that people cling to their anger because once they stop, they'll have to suffer their underlying pain. I'm fresh out of anger, and here comes the pain.

[zijax]

Back to work tomorrow. I'm a massage therapist and I work on-call at a spa. It's part-time and I took 6 weeks off and they still want me back. I thought for sure I'd lose the job. They're really great people to work for. I stayed busy all day. My husband made a box for me in his wood shop for my art supplies. It is gloss black with a white interior; it is beautiful. I am so grateful I met him.

[Blueberrybook]

I had a hard morning today, very volatile mood, snapped at my daughter a bit. I think (hope) it is PMS. I expect my cycle in 2-3 days.

This afternoon, I had an annual exam & well woman exam with my primary care doctor. They lately started doing well woman exams at my family doctor's, and that is nice, one less co-pay, and you can get 2 annual exams out of the way with one appointment. Annual exam went well though I had to go over the ulcer surgery with the doc since I hadn't been in to see her since that had taken place. I was smart this time around and had bloodwork my pdoc had me do in May faxed over to my PCP (I knew the insurance wouldn't cover it twice). She told me to eat more green leafy vegetables because my iron is low (it always seems to be low) but that everything else looked fine. I told her about having to change pdocs because of my old one of 10 yrs is retiring; she knows my new pdoc and said he is very good. I have been seeing my PCP since before I got married, probably around 15 years now and followed her when she changed practices because good doctors are hard to come by!

She did the well woman exam, and I got a pap even though I had one last year, but I think that is due to having ovarian cancer on both my mother's & father's sides of the family (aunts of mine). Not much fun, but at least, it's done. I got the written order for the mammogram and bone density scan (history of osteopenia from the ED, and it's been over 5 years since I last had a scan).

My daughter is bored and bugging me constantly, wanting to read over my shoulder as I type, which annoys me to no end. I wish she'd use the energy to clean up her room and get rid of toys she's outgrown and never plays with any more.

Currently very triggered and have been for 2 hours now. Feeling quite like a panic attack and I can't calm down. Heading home on the bus now and will try to work some grounding skills. (I was trying to finish work after reading it, so haven't really been able to work the grounding skills.)
I almost never get triggered by the boards here, but a whopper just broadsided me. Never saw it coming.

[GoldenSnitch]

I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. I got released from the hospital and then the sale of my new house closed. We almost completely gutted the house so it’s been a ton of work.

[Scooter9]

Congratulations on your new house GoldenSnitch!

I'm still depressed. I wanted to stay in bed today but responsibilities toward my visiting son and mother in law got me out. I dragged myself around but I was 'happy' to see my son even though he ended up leaving pretty early.

I put 'happy' in quotes because it's just a momentary happiness. But I'll take it over the months of depression I have been in.

I'm looking forward to sleeping tonight - get some relief from this gray cloud. The increased dose of lithium isn't working yet - it has been 3 weeks now. I read someplace that it can take 6 weeks to get the full effect of lithium.

[wildflowerchild25]

Had an ok day today. My unemployment payments came through. That was welcome. Now I have some money in my pocket. Hoping that means I was approved but I assume it does. They wouldn’t pay me if I wasn’t, right? Like pay me and make me pay it back? I hope not. SSI did that to me once, they overpaid me for months and I didn’t know and then all of a sudden they wanted like $2000 back. Hello, I’m on SSI, I obviously don’t have $2000 for you. They took my tax return that year.

But anyway. I cleaned the dining room totally. It looks much better. I want to get the extra chairs out of the room and into the garage. Then I want to clean the living room, like really clean it. Move stuff, sweep, etc. again, move stuff into the garage. I think I’m going to go into my son’s room with a big trash bag and take all of his toys out if he doesn’t clean it. I will warn him but that’s my plan. I’m tired of looking at the horrendous mess. He doesn’t even play with most of the toys anyway. Mostly just his easel and paper and crayons/markers and legos. I’m gonna whip this house into shape.

Only problem is my back hurt pretty bad after I cleaned the dining room. I will only be able to do one room a day. And by the time I finish one, the other will be messed up again. I hate cleaning. At least I have chiro again tomorrow. I haven’t gone in like two weeks because it was conflicting with IOP. Now that I’m FINALLY done with that I can go back to chiro and PT. It was really helping.

Still looking forward to the bbq even though the forecast says 93 degrees for that day. I’m ok with it because I love the heat. My son will be hanging out in the basement downstairs because he hates the heat lol. But it will be fun.

Mood stable, maybe a tad on the hypomanic side, but not anything to be concerned about.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

Congratulations on your new house GoldenSnitch!


I'm still depressed. I wanted to stay in bed today but responsibilities toward my visiting son and mother in law got me out. I dragged myself around but I was 'happy' to see my son even though he ended up leaving pretty early.


I put 'happy' in quotes because it's just a momentary happiness. But I'll take it over the months of depression I have been in.


I'm looking forward to sleeping tonight - get some relief from this gray cloud. The increased dose of lithium isn't working yet - it has been 3 weeks now. I read someplace that it can take 6 weeks to get the full effect of lithium.

A few years ago my pdoc increased my Lithium to 1800 MG. It still did not help with my depression. I went on Lamictal and once I reached therapeutic level it really helped. I hope you have better luck with your Lithium increase. It may work for you.

[Cocosurviving]

I slept a lot today. I’m feeling better after a rough night. Me and my younger daughter went to Panera. Then I came home and took a nap. I spoke to my oldest daughter. She had an interview today and it went well. Tomorrow she has another interview.

[Wild Coyote]

Beautiful weather!
Went for a drive in the mountains.
Gorgeous scenery!

Love to all!


WC

[Victoria'smom]

I took a shower tonight! !!! I'm finally getting back to being myself. Well for the most part. I know that it'll take a week or two. We'll see my husband's the Wednesday. It looks like I'll be going to my sister's wedding alone. My husband can't miss volunteering and my son has class besides there'd be no one to let my dog out. It sucks but it's what we have to do. Now I have to imform my sisters and get a dress. I think I'll wait until closer to the wedding because I don't know how much weight I'll lose now. I'm just hoping I won't lose my mind.

[Lifeischallenging]

Morning all. Had a good sleep. Actually woke up kind of early, my pdoc is probably going to increase my lithium on me. I'm already on whole ton of medication. Just gone watching one of my favorite shows. Fed my cats. Have work in a few hours. Probably going to go out and get something to drink and eat.

[pirilin]

I will come back soon. I miss you guyz.

Well, today's the day of the neuropsych appt. The lady better not ask me to bring sh_t home to my parents to fill out because I don't trust them. They are liars about lots of things (maybe that's why they get along so well...) and/or they'll blab about it to everyone. They're just awful in that regard. So yes, I have 0 trust in them to do the right thing. And people wonder why I don't always get along with my parents!!

And no way in f_ck am I asking someone else to fill out paperwork or interview with the lady. Besides, I keep to myself and want it to stay that way.

[bpforever1]

I am happy about myself and life. I taught today and it went well. I feel good about myself, not because of work but because I am doing ok. I took my medication and feel fine. I will rest and relax the rest of the evening.

[Victoria'smom]

So it's 7:15am I have sent my husband away so that I'll stop talking and get some sleep.

I had a lovely experience today- relating to anxiety

I went to the shop to buy myself some cola and started having a panic attack in the shop. the person behind the till spotted me and what was going on,
and stopped what he was doing just long enough- so I could calm down, pull myself together, and get what I needed

I left that shop in tears- it's so rare people do that sort of thing, their is so much stigma usually

I wanted to share that

really helped the day be positive