[giddykitty]

kinda lurking

but since I'm here, and this is weird so I've gotta tell somebody. I'm smelling bubblegum when the shower runs. when i showered, i didn't use any scent like that. and i didn't think my husband had anything like that and i could smell the shampoo he uses as something different. Very strange. Too bad nobody else had to shower today to test whether this happens everytime. And I've never smelled this before. Ok, weird post done.

mood is kinda cranky (pms). seems i haven't had this for a few months, but it's back this month. hmm

[hopeless2015]

Haven't checked in in awhile. Things are going good. Vacation day today and I've really enjoyed it. Going to cook out with some good friends we don't get to spend much time with. Its supposed to be a beautiful night.

Got my groceries done and treated myself to a dollar tree visit. $11 dollars and I'm tickled with all I got lol

Sending HUGS to you all

[Daonnachd]

It's wonderful to have my son home. That's the top of my day.

My T wants me doing more exercise, of course, so I went out for a bike ride. It's been a long time and my legs felt quite weak. Sometimes I wish I didn't live on a mountain.

I also wrote my T about putting together a WRAP plan thanks to a post here that discussed them briefly. She thinks it's a terrific idea. I'm a little intimidated as it seems like a rather ambitious undertaking.

[Wild Coyote]

Met with my new pdoc again. I like her. I just don't know how much I want to divulge, beyond what I have already shared with her. I guess time will tell. She was very apologetic about our initial sessions having been so triggering. I think she is both very intelligent and very compassionate.

I am very anxious lately. Needing klonopin throughout the day.

I am very tired today. Did not sleep much last night.

I hope everyone has some fun this weekend.
Love to all!


WC

[Row Jimmy]

I'm bouncing off the bottom right now - I didn't talk to my wife for two days because of something she said to me. My dad died a few weeks ago. I stopped taking my Celexa because it pisses me off. Other than that, things are hunky dory.

[Nammu]

Off to Iowa tomorrow for a "done with chemo and the tumor is gone" celebration for a 7 year old who is related to me. All good the weather is supposed to great and my sister and BiL are picking us up on their way down. Political talk is off the table so don't know what I'm gonna talk about, the great weather I suppose? Tell me, how to I make the weather last a couple hours? I have nothing in common with these people! Ok, maybe O positive blood but that's not much of a conversation

[Cocosurviving]

I had my appointment with the Gastrologist Specialist. I hate filling out paperwork answering all the questions. The nurse looked over my paperwork. Then she said “you have bipolar disorder” and I said yes. She told me her husband has bipolar disorder. We had the most pleasant conversation about meds and psychiatrists. I’ve never went to a non-mental health appointment and felt comfortable speaking to a nurse about bipolar disorder. The weird thing is my re-evaluation is next month. I received paperwork to complete today.

Bipolar, garden variety. Check.

There's been a hefty surplus of intrigue, suspense, calumny and plain bad manners in these parts. I didn't come out the good guy in the end. Bipolar creates a shame tolerance, and I live gratefully free of shame. Whatever I've done, I've done so much worse.

Mother lithium, antipsychotics, anticonvulsants, mood stabilizers and dolphin tranquilizers.

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

I don't want to jinx myself, but I think I'm coming out of my longest depressed state for over a year ****

If I don't update tomorrow it means I'm dead again.

Meh. Doing the norm...but a anything is better than being depressed. I think it's stRange to feel better now.

Rubbing good vibes to all.

Soon I'll be back to annoying everyone on PC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

Meh. Doing the norm...but a anything is better than being depressed. I think it's stRange to feel better now.

Rubbing good vibes to all.

Soon I'll be back to annoying everyone on PC

I am glad you are feeling better.

WC

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am glad you are feeling better.

WC

Thanks WC

[Miss Laura]

It's the weekend... all is good. Last night (Fri) we had torrential rain and thunderstorms. I love this weather. Since the end of June Scotland has been experiencing a heatwave the whole of the UK has. This is very unusual for us. I love the heat as we are so not use to it. I have a nice tan lol. Last night was the first proper rainfall in a month. Stunning pictures from all over Scotland.

Today I'm spending it with my parents.

Seen a notification and am now posting because I can lol

yesterday we had rain and thunderstorms

oh were they needed!. it was a welcome break from the heat (though now it's hot again)

doing okay..

panic attack this morning because of insect related stuff, and another night without so much as a lie down

all that aside, feeling pretty upbeat..

[yellow_fleurs]

Feeling a bit better. Decreasing the Lamictal dose plus not being right before my period plus sleep plus being around people and socializing was enough to get me out of that really dark kind of dangerous place. Yesterday I met up with a cousin and spent the day showing her around town. Lots of walking, spending time in the sun, and socializing which put me in a good mood. Still had to block these dark, intrusive thoughts. My doctor should call me on Tuesday and I will tell him I think this is the Lamictal doing this and I should stop it. I know he thinks this is just the illness, but the increased effect on the higher dose before my period is enough evidence for me. He seems very surprised by intense responses, but I am not. I am surprised by the specific reaction, but my body is very sensitive to minor things and my moods, hormones, even chronic inflammation are all connected. It is a gentle balance for me and I think most meds available will be too much. In the future, if meds are more able to be tailored to individuals and fine tuned it might help, but perhaps not right now. Not giving up on meds yet, but thinking they are making me worse than baseline so far.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

I had my appointment with the Gastrologist Specialist. I hate filling out paperwork answering all the questions. The nurse looked over my paperwork. Then she said “you have bipolar disorder” and I said yes. She told me her husband has bipolar disorder. We had the most pleasant conversation about meds and psychiatrists. I’ve never went to a non-mental health appointment and felt comfortable speaking to a nurse about bipolar disorder. The weird thing is my re-evaluation is next month. I received paperwork to complete today.

That is awesome. Not having to go to a gastrologist of course but that you could talk freely to a nurse about bipolar.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm doing OK this morning. Not much happening just yet today. I did take a jog/walk this morning. Too long again and too late; the sun was so hot. I still have bad anxiety about our financial situation. I am trying to read a book for my book club meeting and just not getting far into it. So many people like it too. It The Alienist by Caleb Carr. I don't know if it's just the writing or if it's me. It gets tons of stars on Amazon, and one lady in my group posted on Facebook that she read it and loved it. It's also a bit of a long book. I will give it until page 100, I think.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Feeling a bit better. Decreasing the Lamictal dose plus not being right before my period plus sleep plus being around people and socializing was enough to get me out of that really dark kind of dangerous place. Yesterday I met up with a cousin and spent the day showing her around town. Lots of walking, spending time in the sun, and socializing which put me in a good mood. Still had to block these dark, intrusive thoughts. My doctor should call me on Tuesday and I will tell him I think this is the Lamictal doing this and I should stop it. I know he thinks this is just the illness, but the increased effect on the higher dose before my period is enough evidence for me. He seems very surprised by intense responses, but I am not. I am surprised by the specific reaction, but my body is very sensitive to minor things and my moods, hormones, even chronic inflammation are all connected. It is a gentle balance for me and I think most meds available will be too much. In the future, if meds are more able to be tailored to individuals and fine tuned it might help, but perhaps not right now. Not giving up on meds yet, but thinking they are making me worse than baseline so far.

Congrats in working at countering the depression via activity/distractions. It's very wise, in my humble opinion to do so if/when we can. I was wondering how you are doing. Thanks for the update.


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Finally done with moving our daughter out yesterday. I'm hurting all over. Surprisingly, for being so out of shape I did really well. I packed the rest of her stuff, helped move the friend, helped move her (she had dining room furniture plus her stuff), made lasagna for dinner for everybody, plus drove around while my husband drove the moving truck. It was really weird that when driving I was anxious but not panicking. I handed the keys back to my husband in relief.

Today we dropped off her cat. Our daughter is tired and frazzled. Her roomie had to work so she was trying to put stuff together by herself. We offered to help but she refused. Her monkeys, her circus--that's what I have to repeat to myself.

We still have some cleaning to do upstairs plus my husband is bringing her old bed to the basement. I'm not looking forward to that as I'm sure I'll be roped in to help.

Lots of love and hugs to everyone!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Finally done with moving our daughter out yesterday. I'm hurting all over. Surprisingly, for being so out of shape I did really well. I packed the rest of her stuff, helped move the friend, helped move her (she had dining room furniture plus her stuff), made lasagna for dinner for everybody, plus drove around while my husband drove the moving truck. It was really weird that when driving I was anxious but not panicking. I handed the keys back to my husband in relief.

Today we dropped off her cat. Our daughter is tired and frazzled. Her roomie had to work so she was trying to put stuff together by herself. We offered to help but she refused. Her monkeys, her circus--that's what I have to repeat to myself.

We still have some cleaning to do upstairs plus my husband is bringing her old bed to the basement. I'm not looking forward to that as I'm sure I'll be roped in to help.

Lots of love and hugs to everyone!

Wow! You have done a lot! I am sorry you are paying a price today.
I hope you recover easily.

WC

Wow, Fharraige! AND you made lasagne?! That's crazy impressive!!!! Hope you recover quickly (I remember our last move --owie)

Things are going ok here except it's been super hot, which I can't really handle. So I've been getting stuff done early before it starts up. (6:30 am yard work, anyone? Lol.) Had a PRNish (on again/off again) med added back in the week before last (Abilify), and it really seems to be helping with motivation (which was non-existant).

Hugs, everyone!

[Moose72]

I got up and went to Starbucks for a minute this morni g. Had to get going to judo. On the way there I realized that I didnt have gas so I stopped at the only station I knew of. (Of course I had to finish my coffee about an hour before judo starts so i dont have to pee during...) I was ahead of time which was good because I had to fill out some membership paperwork at the Y. I had just enough time to do that and go change into my gi and get to class a couple minutes early. Class itself was good- I relearned lots of stuff. Its all relearn at this point. It wasnt too pphysically hard which I was thankful for.

My friend fancies himself my good friend these days. Hes married but acts and expects more like a boyfried- evenTHOUGH he once said that wasn't the case. So yesterday we were at starbucks talking about tattoos and he said hed pay for me to get one. He thought it should be a heart. I thought an anatomical heart would be cool. Then I found one of two naked people inside an anatomical heat- looked like they were coupled . so we went to a tattoo shop- my favorite- and looked through artists books. Decided on one. Talked to him. He quoted a price. Talked placement. Recovery time would be 3 weeks. Three weeks off judo. Hmmm.... So we get in the car and he says "Are you ready for this type of commitment?" Freaked me out!! I dont feel that way about him and hes married. So there is a 4 hour block booked in a month and its a $400 tatto and a 50$ nonrefundable deposit was paid by him. Any and all opinions are welcome!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I got up and went to Starbucks for a minute this morni g. Had to get going to judo. On the way there I realized that I didnt have gas so I stopped at the only station I knew of. (Of course I had to finish my coffee about an hour before judo starts so i dont have to pee during...) I was ahead of time which was good because I had to fill out some membership paperwork at the Y. I had just enough time to do that and go change into my gi and get to class a couple minutes early. Class itself was good- I relearned lots of stuff. Its all relearn at this point. It wasnt too pphysically hard which I was thankful for.

My friend fancies himself my good friend these days. Hes married but acts and expects more like a boyfried- evenTHOUGH he once said that wasn't the case. So yesterday we were at starbucks talking about tattoos and he said hed pay for me to get one. He thought it should be a heart. I thought an anatomical heart would be cool. Then I found one of two naked people inside an anatomical heat- looked like they were coupled . so we went to a tattoo shop- my favorite- and looked through artists books. Decided on one. Talked to him. He quoted a price. Talked placement. Recovery time would be 3 weeks. Three weeks off judo. Hmmm.... So we get in the car and he says "Are you ready for this type of commitment?" Freaked me out!! I dont feel that way about him and hes married. So there is a 4 hour block booked in a month and its a $400 tatto and a 50$ nonrefundable deposit was paid by him. Any and all opinions are welcome!

Simply and politely be honest with him.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

I don't think anyone around me in real life can fathom how hard I am trying.
I think most, if not all, of us likely experience this disconnect.

Love to All.

WC

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I don't think anyone around me in real life can fathom how hard I am trying.
I think most, if not all, of us likely experience this disconnect.

Love to All.

WC

I'm so sorry. I think a lot of us feel this way too. I think unless you have been there yourself, you just can't understand. And even when you've been there...we all have different histories and backgrounds and life stressors on top of mental illness.

I hate the most how stigmatized mental illness is, but they will be choosy. For example, bipolar, depression, schizophrenia, panic disorder, PTSD, that's all bad. But then talk about eating disorders (and I'm leaving out EDs that lead to obesity because I feel people judge them differently), and if you have anorexia or bulimia, but especially if you are noticeably too thin, THAT is not a stigma, even if you have anorexia, which is the most deadly mental illness out there. People can be idiots sometimes.