Bipolar Check in thread #26

Jul 25, 2018, 08:50 AM

My moods have been up and down for the last few weeks. Though not always an issue, occasionally I am prone to binge eating. When I do so, it is usually with just one or two things (chips or sweets) and when I finish them I do stop. I guess it's not severe, but definitely eating 6 regular size chocolate covered pretzels is not good, and I often find myself going to the store to replace them so hubby doesn't know I ate so many. Ditto with other things. Sometimes I throw the rest away to avoid eating more. Then all of this usually stops for a while. It's definitely mood-related.

Hubby said I talked in my sleep early this morning. He laughed and said that I said I ate all of the chocolate. That's a little scary confessing stuff in my sleep, but I don't think he took it as such. Or maybe when he told me that he was waiting to see if I would confess something.

I really wish my psychiatrist would return from his vacation already. My appointment with him isn't for another two weeks. I have finally decided on a therapist. I have to quit the other. I plan to do that tomorrow.

Jul 25, 2018, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

I remember that song. It makes me feel old. Lol

his voice sounds so much like james bay

(you know, hold back the river)

I can't wait to research the band and find other songs by them

Moose72 · Jul 25, 2018, 11:53 AM

Im still dealing with the cpap issue! Making the drs office and cpap equipment place call each other to ask all these questions- not me!

My mom is taking me grocery shopping today! We are getting food for my youngest. We made a list of the things he likes.

I got my application with proof of income (ssi) for a y scholarship turned in. (For judo)

I see pdoc on friday at 830 am. (!) Gonna check out how the symptoms and Seroquel are doing.

My underweight son just took off for a 6 HOUR run. *sigh* it would be better if he would drink the protein powder!!

yellow_fleurs · Jul 25, 2018, 12:20 PM

Today feels hard. Feeling hopeless and like I'm tired of this ongoing battle in my mind. Having your mind attack you for prolonged periods of time telling you you are a terrible person who shouldn't be here is just a lot to handle. I need a break and don't know if I even deserve one. After my period should be better so will remind myself of that.

Daonnachd · Jul 25, 2018, 12:45 PM

Just an average day so far. I’m very much looking forward to tomorrow, though, because my son is returning from Spain. It will be a long day. I leave at 5:30 to take friends to the Sacramento airport, go to work, then head to San Francisco International Airport to pick up my son. All told, I’ll probably drive 11 hours tomorrow. I’m glad that, if anything, I’m feeling a bit hypomanic.

Wild Coyote · Jul 25, 2018, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Today feels hard. Feeling hopeless and like I'm tired of this ongoing battle in my mind. Having your mind attack you for prolonged periods of time telling you you are a terrible person who shouldn't be here is just a lot to handle. I need a break and don't know if I even deserve one. After my period should be better so will remind myself of that.

I am sorry for your suffering.

WC

Wild Coyote · Jul 25, 2018, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vertigo

Just an average day so far. I’m very much looking forward to tomorrow, though, because my son is returning from Spain. It will be a long day. I leave at 5:30 to take friends to the Sacramento airport, go to work, then head to San Francisco International Airport to pick up my son. All told, I’ll probably drive 11 hours tomorrow. I’m glad that, if anything, I’m feeling a bit hypomanic.

Safe traveling!

WC

Wild Coyote · Jul 25, 2018, 03:31 PM

A family member passed on today; he was suffering with pancreatic cancer.

Mood a little better today. I have been trying to stay busy.
Still feeling hopeless.

Love to all.

WC

Blueberrybook · Jul 25, 2018, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A family member passed on today; he was suffering with pancreatic cancer.

Mood a little better today. I have been trying to stay busy.
Still feeling hopeless.

Love to all.

WC

I am sorry to hear that. At least he is no longer suffering.

I am glad to hear you are feeling better today.

Blueberrybook · Jul 25, 2018, 03:51 PM

I'm doing better today than yesterday, not great but OK.

I managed to shorten my jog this morning; I am again exercising too much. Whether it's the eating disorder in my past or my way to manage stress or a little of both, I'm not sure.

I finished my library book and returned it this morning, had to get copies of our house key made at the hardware store. Got back home, of course, the keys don't work. I was irritated because I'd gone to the small, local store on purpose because they still have a hand-operated machine, not one of those automated ones that never gets the key right. 3 copies and not one fit. I had to go back after lunch and requested a different operator on the machine, and this time, all 3 worked.

Trying to relax a bit, maybe try to read some.

Moose72 · Jul 25, 2018, 04:33 PM

I got a scholarship to the Y today! Woot! Now im official.

RainyDay107 · Jul 25, 2018, 05:52 PM

I’m struggling terribly. I can’t figure out how to log in. I’m on Tapatalk and I find it hard to navigate.

I’d started my own thread and I haven’t found it to reply.

Trintillex made me violent. Rage. Still in mixed episode.

I am thinking of those of you that are struggling. I’m so messed up, I will try to support you all when I can.

Scooter9 · Jul 25, 2018, 05:56 PM

I think I've gone from severe depression to moderately severe depression. It's an improvement, even if it is a small improvement. I'm still feeling low but not as low as last week, yet I still have symptoms like low self-esteem, moving and speaking slowly, having little energy, little interest in doing things, and not eating properly.

I'm still seeing things that aren't really there, but maybe not as often or intense...it's hard to describe. My pdoc said these things are part of my depression and will go away as the depression gets better.

Applied to a few jobs but got up super late today. I still have work to do around the house - just trying to push myself to do it.

Cocosurviving · Jul 25, 2018, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A family member passed on today; he was suffering with pancreatic cancer.

Mood a little better today. I have been trying to stay busy.

Still feeling hopeless.

Love to all.

WC

You’re in my thoughts. (((Hugs)))

Cocosurviving · Jul 25, 2018, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RainyDay107

I’m struggling terribly. I can’t figure out how to log in. I’m on Tapatalk and I find it hard to navigate.

I’d started my own thread and I haven’t found it to reply.

Trintillex made me violent. Rage. Still in mixed episode.

I am thinking of those of you that are struggling. I’m so messed up, I will try to support you all when I can.

((((Hugs))))) I hope things get better soon. Do you have a PRN? Call your psychiatrist tomorrow morning. I was having problems with Tapatalk the other day.

Wild Coyote · Jul 26, 2018, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RainyDay107

I’m struggling terribly. I can’t figure out how to log in. I’m on Tapatalk and I find it hard to navigate.

I’d started my own thread and I haven’t found it to reply.

Trintillex made me violent. Rage. Still in mixed episode.

I am thinking of those of you that are struggling. I’m so messed up, I will try to support you all when I can.

Good to hear from you.

So sorry you are still suffering.
Found your prior thread and have bumped it up for you.
You are worthy of our love and support. We are here for you.
Concerned for you.

WC

Wild Coyote · Jul 26, 2018, 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

You’re in my thoughts. (((Hugs)))

Truly means so much to me!
Thank you!

WC

Jul 26, 2018, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A family member passed on today; he was suffering with pancreatic cancer.

Mood a little better today. I have been trying to stay busy.
Still feeling hopeless.

Love to all.

WC

Sorry for your loss, WC.

Miss Laura · Jul 26, 2018, 06:28 AM

I'm good today.... got nothingnplsnned for the day got 5 hours sleep last night woke at 8:30am stayed in bed until 9:30am. Had breakfast and put a load of washing on. No food in house so no lunch for me. I'll survive lol. Meant to be at a support group tonight for bipolar but I'm kinda scared to go in case there is this girl there who I know and I don't want her joining my group. I'm kinda feeling territorial about it all. I don't want to tell her I'm going in case she cones along

Moose72 · Jul 26, 2018, 07:02 AM

Went out to dinner with my "lunch" group for one member's bday. That was fun. "When Im sixty-four..."

Iso far havent heard back from anybody re the cpap since yesterday but its early.

My good friend wanted me to go out to coffee in half an hour but

Possible trigger:

his daughter said she wanted to kill herself and only wanted him to take her to psych ER. So I dont have any more updates than that- if theyre admitted or not. Im sure theyre exhausted.

HE JUST WANTED TO TALK MORE WITH ME ABOUT GETTING THIS oops sorry caps off.... About getting this tattoo of a heart! Not on him but on me. Ha. If I were to do that, Id get an anatomical heart in black and grey or rainbow colors. Im not getting a tiny heart just for him. Its not FOR him. It would be for ME meaning MY stength and love for ALL my friends. And he can pay for it.

Jul 26, 2018, 09:53 AM

My mood is so-so, but certainly not concerning, but I'm on edge a bit. I keep hearing weird sounds. I think it's some person on my roof or property or the hose on. I look, but no one is there. It's not impossible that someone could be there. I live in a townhouse with an association. The association sometimes has workers doing things. I hate when they do things unannounced. Occasionally a guy will be on my roof near my bedroom window. That's happened unexpectedly when I was in my pajamas.

Scooter9 · Jul 26, 2018, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A family member passed on today; he was suffering with pancreatic cancer.

I'm so sorry for your loss wc

yellow_fleurs · 01:46 PM

Last night got really hard and I didn't feel completely safe with myself. Thoughts felt distorted and I felt like I lost touch with the rational side of my brain. I have been on the verge of starting my period, and turns out that was the night before which is always the worst for me. It really scares me that I don't know if I can even trust myself from one moment to the next. I only got 2 hrs of sleep because I had to catch a flight and felt pretty bad, but then stopped by my parents and saw my cousin who was visiting and had a nice conversation that made me feel a little more normal. I thought I would hate to have to talk, but it actually was a good thing. It will be good for me to be around friends and family for the next few days until I feel safer and more stable, if that even happens.

Edit: called my pdoc's office and spoke with the nurse. My pdoc is out of the country (only until Tues, thank goodness), and they told me to drop my lamictal dose back to 100 mg just to be safe. She checked with some other people in the office, before telling me this. She said she pulled my chart, and definitely sounded a little anxious when she started talking to me after and gave me some crisis number and told me I can call the on call doctor at any time after hours. I wonder if they got worried about all my notes of "not sure if I can keep myself safe" and the like.