[Blueberrybook]

OMG, our finances are so bad we are looking at losing our house. We have no savings left, and we won't be able to pay all the bills next month on just my husband's teaching salary (which puts us in a tax bracket too high to receive aid; I've tried). I am so anxious and depressed, I don't know what we'll do. I hate having the future up in the air like this. I think I am in a mixed episode or just a really horrible day. My husband is very depressed about all this too, and that makes it so hard for us to put on a happy face for my daughter who just started 5th grade yesterday.

I do not know what we are going to do. I am hopeless.

I am crying now & so panicky & anxious. I hate this, I really do.

It's time's like this that is a major trigger for me, but I advise you to SELL any items you have of value, sell the fridge if you have to..

Apart from that, seek government aid.

Don't self sabotage! Do stay positive and clear minded.

[yellow_fleurs]

Oh my gosh I am so sorry to hear this. That sounds like a terrible situation to be in, much less while in a mixed episode. Even if you weren't in one, that is enough to cause anyone to feel horrible and panic. I really know nothing about these things, but can you contact a HUD approved housing counselor, like mentioned in this article? 10 Tips to Avoid Foreclosure - FindLaw

[Blueberrybook]

I took Klonopin & laid down over an hour. I can't make this panic stop. I can't eat, I'm so panicked & anxious.

Oh, my God. I feel like God hates us and gives us bad luck, bad luck, and more bad luck and we haven't done a thing wrong.

My husband was told his dream job would be his, and then it was snatched away. My life sucks

[Blueberrybook]

This day is so horrible.

I wish that stupid perforated ulcer had killed me or that I had died in surgery.

I'm so pathetic. I can't hold a job. No company even interviews me anymore, being 40 with no work history or usable skills except an old M.S. that overqualifies me for everything.

I hate myself so much. I should have died and wish I had

[Daonnachd]

I’m so sorry this is happening. I know how hard it is.

[Guiness187055]

I've been there. You have to keep the faith.

[Blueberrybook]

Called my mom and she lectured me to be productive and clean the house (I'm not a good housekeeper). Texted some with one of my sisters. It calmed me down a little, at least enough that the full blown panic attack stopped.

My pdoc doesn't prescribe me much in the way of extra relief during a prolonged panic attack. All I have is hydroxyzine and can take an extra Klonopin. But I don't even know if the stupid Klonopin is even doing much any more.

I wish I had someone to talk to, but one of my sisters (the one I texted) has 3 girls & is a stay-at-home mom. The oldest 2 start school on Monday, and one of those is going to kindergarten.

My other sister just had ACL surgery yesterday, and is in tremendous pain. The doctor told her it was the longest allograft he had ever done, so I don't want to bother her.

[Scooter9]

You should call your pdoc - these are extraordinary circumstances. Your pdoc should be able to prescribe something to help you through this tough time.

[Blueberrybook]

I hate bugging him. I just called him yesterday because of being hypomanic. I don't like being whiny & needy, and I feel like I am.

[Scooter9]

Sometimes we're in need of help - that's why he made the number available to you. I think he'd let you know if you were being a problem for him, cln.

[SorryShaped]

I've been in this situation, except with six kids. We were evicted, and moved into subsidized housing. We eventually moved out.

[Blueberrybook]

This just sucks. I am still not feeling much better. Managed to eat a protein bar, that was it.

I called and moved my appointment up earlier. It was scheduled for Sept. 5, but now I have one on Monday morning. I don't think he's in on Fridays. He does hospital rounds, I think.

I think an in-person appointment might be better for me all around, so the pdoc can also see how I'm doing, which is not great. My BMI is freaking 17, and I couldn't eat lunch today because of anxiety and I'm overexercising because of the anxiety. I called and made an appt. with my PCP just to get things checked from the weight loss, also on Monday, about 1.5 hr. after my pdoc appt.

If I get really bad before then, I'll call.

Ugh, now I feel like calling and canceling both appointments, but I’ll keep them in the interest of my family. If I didn’t have my husband and daughter, I wouldn’t bother with this fight any more. Don’t worry. I’m safe and not going to do anything to myself other than likely over exercise and/or have another whiny few days. I don’t self-harm, used to some in college and lucky to have extremely minimal scarring, but not since before I met my husband. I just wouldn’t want to have to explain anything to him or my daughter.

Could the weekend just around the corner be giving you anxiety? In an anxious way because we start to process too much information at once. I say this because I'm a wreck when I'm in a tight squeeze, therefore hence my sudden confusion and lacking the ability to function on a satisfying level.

I too wish they left me to die that one night that changed everything. I was drinking myself to death (not eating and sleeping) and I blacked out with a bottle of vodka and a lit cigarette in the other hand. When I woke up in hospital two weeks later of liver failure, I thought I had died and gone to a better place, but that was just a sexy nurse that sparked my interest in one last attempt at making decisions and choices that affect my me. I know it's a long shot give or take 3-5 years.

I'm still looking for this mysterious "love". I thought I found it, but she was just a hobby (believe me when I say I'm holding back). Anywho... it's time's like that what you're experiencing to find a crack (no drugs) and you will get through this.

Draw it all out on paper and stick to the plan. In this case I would reevaluate every single thing and tackle one at a time.

You've got this

[Blueberrybook]

No, it's not just the weekend. I think it's also the end of the month getting closer and not knowing what we can do.

Every job I've had, I have never lasted long due to bipolar, and besides, now I'm getting close to freak-out skinny, I don't know any employer who would want to take that on. Though I do think if the financial situation would be better, so would the weight situation.

I am in a really, really bad place right now.

[Wild Coyote]

I am just checking in for today. I am so sorry you have had such a tough day!
I have been there, at least somewhat, and am very sorry for what you and your husband are going through.

/I hope you won't give up and/or punish yourself in any way.

thinking of you and yours tonight.


WC