[Faltering]

I took Adderall and I'm in a better mood overall but I have no appetite. I forced myself to eat today. I could barely finish my daily coffee. I guess I need to cut back on the caffeine now. It turns out I'm only allergic to dust mites lol. I was surprised. I also have exercise-induced rhinitis. I got a nasal spray for it.

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Sorry you are still low. I hope the Modafinil starts helping you. How long have you been on it? A lot of these psych meds can take up to 6 weeks to work.

Thanks BB. I've only been on it for a week now, but this is sort of a stimulant so there's usually an effect a couple of hours after taking it.

I was hoping for something soon but my pdoc and pharmacist agree with you that it could be weeks before I know whether it's working. Was just hoping for some short term effects like more alertness. So far... nothing.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I took Adderall and I'm in a better mood overall but I have no appetite. I forced myself to eat today. I could barely finish my daily coffee. I guess I need to cut back on the caffeine now. It turns out I'm only allergic to dust mites lol. I was surprised. I also have exercise-induced rhinitis. I got a nasal spray for it.

Adderall has helped me with energy, with focus too. I think it can deter appetite until it has worn off. Even Adderall XR lasts around 12 hr. or so, I believe? So not the whole day. Did you take it in the morning?

[Faltering]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Adderall has helped me with energy, with focus too. I think it can deter appetite until it has worn off. Even Adderall XR lasts around 12 hr. or so, I believe? So not the whole day. Did you take it in the morning?

I'm glad it has helped you. I took half a tablet in the morning and the other half midday since it's instant release and only lasts 4-6 hours.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I'm glad it has helped you. I took half a tablet in the morning and the other half midday since it's instant release and only lasts 4-6 hours.

I have the XR version so just take it in the morning. Maybe that makes the difference? It might affect my appetite some in the morning, but I'm not sure. I usually (even without Adderall) do not have a huge morning appetite, get hungry around 10 AM or so. Though I do always want coffee first thing in the morning.

[zijax]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I wish I knew what to say to you. I'm newish to the board and don't know your situation. Have you been on meds long? Is this a first try or has it been a long time? Are you in therapy? When is your next pdoc appointment? If it's not next week, call the front desk and tell them you need an urgent appointment. Tell your pdoc exactly how you feel. Meds are not an exact science; what works for one doesn't work for all.

Great job on the sobriety too!

I don't have any close friends too. My one good friend is now in Connecticut, and my only other 2 close friends are my sisters, which at least I have a good relationship with them. One lives in a decent driving distance; the other does not. But if it weren't for my sisters, I'd have no friends. And my sisters are not people I had to go out on a limb to meet. So I understand that feeling.

My husband tries to help, but he thinks meds are a crutch. They help, but I don't expect them to perform miracles and magically make me feel better either. He doesn't understand that. He struggles to understand MI at all. He still out and out refuses to believe I have an eating disorder. It is anorexia purging type (via exercise, not throwing up), which is super easy to hide. It looks like I am going out just to exercise, I maybe I overexercise and lose too much weight. That is how he sees it. He doesn't see all the thoughts of scales, numbers, weight, foods, guilt in my head. I tend to eat normally (but by then I have exercised off more calories than I can eat in a day by eating normally). He'd flip at the number on the scale, but I don't tell him. Now and again he'll say I'm a little bony and could stand to gain some weight, but he just does not see the ED.

Hi BB. Thanks for being a friend by responding. I needed a little caring from someone who is concerned about others instead of always self. I see so much of that on here. I'm sorry you don't have any friends either. I too have two sisters. One has spina bifeda and can't walk and I take care of her alot. The other is an active alcoholic in FL...so not close. My husband is supportive of MI because he has BP and Anxiety and Schizoaffective Disorder. I feel bad for you that your husband doesn't get it. Maybe a friends and family of MI group from NAMI in your area might help? Or he could try therapy with you?

My husband is also an addict in recovery, like me. Two months ago my Dr. gave me Adderall to break out of my depression and my husband took most of them and shot them up in the garage. I didn't know he was doing that. He had had a problem with it long before we married...we just married this June. So I can't have adderall around. It helped rip 7 ounds off me. It's great for dieting and for focus. I feel like getting some more and not telling him and hiding them bc I feel they help me.

My Mother is anorexic I think. Her own Mother was obese and in order not to be like her she has dieted her whole life. She eats like a bird, is 85, walks 4 miles a day and still plays tennis. She says you can never be too rich or too thin. That's her motto. She'd rather me be thin and off meds than well and chubby.

I'm sorry you strugge with it. I don't know much about it. Are you in therapy? I'm not. I had a good therapist and she quit and I have no insurance anyways. I do go to recovery groups like AA and NA and Refuge Recovery. That helps.

I hope everything goes better for you with your family situation; I've kept up with it.

It's around 3 am and I've only managed to sleep a couple lousy hours. My toothache is so severe that even my cheek hurts. I took acetaminophen, put a cold dish towel covered bag of frozen peas to my cheek, put generic Ambesol on the most painful areas. Nothing helps. It's getting even worse. There is no sign of infection, but I wish taking an antibiotic was an easy fix. I tried to wear a mouth guard, but it is excruciatingly painful.

[zijax]

Bird, sorry you're going through this. Do you have a dentist appt. coming up? I can't sleep either. I hope you feel better.

doing minimal self care which I know isn't good, but can't really cope with much at the moment

well that's not true... emotionally I'm fine and coping well, just something else inside me isn't working... not sure what it is

the part of my brain that says.. right okay, time for motivation

[zijax]

Raging...have you ever studied the Enneagram. It is a personality test but is helpful because it points out core motivations and how to progress toward levels of health. The type 9 has a hard time getting motivated but once she/he does it's on. it's free;

The Enneacards Sampler Free Enneagram Test

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

It's around 3 am and I've only managed to sleep a couple lousy hours. My toothache is so severe that even my cheek hurts. I took acetaminophen, put a cold dish towel covered bag of frozen peas to my cheek, put generic Ambesol on the most painful areas. Nothing helps. It's getting even worse. There is no sign of infection, but I wish taking an antibiotic was an easy fix. I tried to wear a mouth guard, but it is excruciatingly painful.

I really wish I had some advice for you. Do you think if you call an urgent care place they might be able to refer you to a dentist, even if it's not your own? Surely, many people have had to have dental emergencies over the weekend when their usual dentist is not available. Or maybe call the closest ER and see if they possibly can suggest a place? Or you could ask and see if an urgent care place or the ER would prescribe you something for the pain for such severe tooth pain until you can see the dentist on Monday? I know there are a couple 24 hr. pharmacies around me, though most open at 9 AM.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

It's around 3 am and I've only managed to sleep a couple lousy hours. My toothache is so severe that even my cheek hurts. I took acetaminophen, put a cold dish towel covered bag of frozen peas to my cheek, put generic Ambesol on the most painful areas. Nothing helps. It's getting even worse. There is no sign of infection, but I wish taking an antibiotic was an easy fix. I tried to wear a mouth guard, but it is excruciatingly painful.

Sounds very painful! So sorry you are going through this. I've needed a lot of dental work this year, which started with severe tooth pain which was interfering with sleep. No fun! So very sorry you are having to deal with this!


WC

[wildflowerchild25]

My back is screaming. I can barely walk. I am going to winefest today and I don’t think I’ll even be able to walk around the vendors. I broke down and took ibuprofen even though I’m not supposed to due to an ulcer. I’m hoping it helps. I took 800mg, like the max strength ones the dr gives you. At this point I would take any opiate they wanted to give me, I don’t care. This is awful. I don’t know how those of you with chronic pain manage. I have so much respect for you.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by zijax

Hi BB. Thanks for being a friend by responding. I needed a little caring from someone who is concerned about others instead of always self. I see so much of that on here. I'm sorry you don't have any friends either. I too have two sisters. One has spina bifeda and can't walk and I take care of her alot. The other is an active alcoholic in FL...so not close. My husband is supportive of MI because he has BP and Anxiety and Schizoaffective Disorder. I feel bad for you that your husband doesn't get it. Maybe a friends and family of MI group from NAMI in your area might help? Or he could try therapy with you?

My husband is also an addict in recovery, like me. Two months ago my Dr. gave me Adderall to break out of my depression and my husband took most of them and shot them up in the garage. I didn't know he was doing that. He had had a problem with it long before we married...we just married this June. So I can't have adderall around. It helped rip 7 ounds off me. It's great for dieting and for focus. I feel like getting some more and not telling him and hiding them bc I feel they help me.

My Mother is anorexic I think. Her own Mother was obese and in order not to be like her she has dieted her whole life. She eats like a bird, is 85, walks 4 miles a day and still plays tennis. She says you can never be too rich or too thin. That's her motto. She'd rather me be thin and off meds than well and chubby.

I responded to you, but the post was so long, I decided just to PM it, so you can find my reply there.

Thanks Blueberrybook and Wild Coyote. I tried calling my dentist office. The website says they are open, but the voice mail says not. It gave an emergency number. I called it and no one answered. It's after 9 am. I got a little sleep, but woke up in pain again. I feel like the area from above my lip to my nasal passages is swollen, but it doesn't look swollen. I'm slurring my speech because of that swollen feeling. If it does swell, I'll go to the hospital.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My back is screaming. I can barely walk. I am going to winefest today and I don’t think I’ll even be able to walk around the vendors. I broke down and took ibuprofen even though I’m not supposed to due to an ulcer. I’m hoping it helps. I took 800mg, like the max strength ones the dr gives you. At this point I would take any opiate they wanted to give me, I don’t care. This is awful. I don’t know how those of you with chronic pain manage. I have so much respect for you.

Sorry you're dealing with this.

I don't have chronic pain, so I can't relate, but I hope you're able to get the back surgery soon and recover quickly. You're going through a lot right now and deserve some peace of mind.

Could you possibly get pain med injections rather than potentially exacerbating the ulcer with ibuprofen? e.g., Injections for Back Pain Relief

Not sure if you've done that already, but when my mom had 2 slipped discs in her back, she did spinal injections. They didn't help 100%, but they made the pain manageable. Before the injections, she was literally crying all the time and she NEVER cries. She also ended up seeing a chiropractor after the surgery as a preventative measure, which may not be a bad idea for you if/after you go in for surgery.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Thanks Blueberrybook and Wild Coyote. I tried calling my dentist office. The website says they are open, but the voice mail says not. It gave an emergency number. I called it and no one answered. It's after 9 am. I got a little sleep, but woke up in pain again. I feel like the area from above my lip to my nasal passages is swollen, but it doesn't look swollen. I'm slurring my speech because of that swollen feeling. If it does swell, I'll go to the hospital.

I would go to the hospital now before it swells, because swelling could be a sign of infection. Even though hospital can't do anything density wise, they'll give you pain meds and possibly something to prevent the swelling/infection.

Also, you can just go to an urgent care center instead if you want. They're significantly cheaper than the hospital/ER, and you'll get in pretty fast.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Sorry you're dealing with this.

I don't have chronic pain, so I can't relate, but I hope you're able to get the back surgery soon and recover quickly. You're going through a lot right now and deserve some peace of mind.

Could you possibly get pain med injections rather than potentially exacerbating the ulcer with ibuprofen? e.g., Injections for Back Pain Relief

Not sure if you've done that already, but when my mom had 2 slipped discs in her back, she did spinal injections. They didn't help 100%, but they made the pain manageable. Before the injections, she was literally crying all the time and she NEVER cries. She also ended up seeing a chiropractor after the surgery as a preventative measure, which may not be a bad idea for you if/after you go in for surgery.

I did the injections about a month ago and they worked up only for two weeks. Then they wore off. I can repeat them but I don’t see the point if it’s just going to wear off within a couple of weeks. Thanks for the suggestion though. I tried chiro and PT too and I steadily got worse.

The ibuprofen is starting to work so I at least will be able to walk around the winefest without wanting to pass out and die.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I did the injections about a month ago and they worked up only for two weeks. Then they wore off. I can repeat them but I don’t see the point if it’s just going to wear off within a couple of weeks. Thanks for the suggestion though. I tried chiro and PT too and I steadily got worse.

The ibuprofen is starting to work so I at least will be able to walk around the winefest without wanting to pass out and die.

Sorry to hear that nothing has helped. I hope the winefest goes ok for you. I also hope you can figure out the logistics for post back surgery.

[yellow_fleurs]

Went to lunch with friends and enjoyed myself. Deadline today, so heading to the library to work. Negative and intrusive thoughts are a little worse, and I know it is probably because I am coming up to a rough week of cycle again. I just hope it is not as bad as last time. I feel very apprehensive and have been enjoying a week or so of better regulated emotions and feeling safer and more grounded with myself. I know PMDD is often treated with either birth control or antidepressants, but both of those make me worse so I am not sure how to handle this every month besides riding it out and trying to exercise and things to make it slightly less intense. If anyone has found something that helps, please pass along your thoughts!

[Moose72]

Possible trigger:

They checked up on me again. I told them I was making SH plans last night. But none now? No. End of subject. Talk with friends today and call back if you need to.

So finally after a couple weeks fwb invited me over. I hope its what I need to lift my spirits a bit. Going to my moms later for taco salad then n3 has a function at church.

Self harm again with the hitting and punching. It's become an automatic thing.

I've done nothing all day except lie in bed and watch YouTube videos and occasionally post here. I'm bored out of my mind.

I've been trying to read, but my concentration is shot, even with Ritalin. I do have audiobooks to go along with my ebooks, but I still suck. I feel stupid.

Also, I've been having major eating problems again. I just don't want to eat anything anymore. I just get an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach whenever I eat. It's not nausea, but just discomfort at this point.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Self harm again with the hitting and punching. It's become an automatic thing.

I've done nothing all day except lie in bed and watch YouTube videos and occasionally post here. I'm bored out of my mind.

I've been trying to read, but my concentration is shot, even with Ritalin. I do have audiobooks to go along with my ebooks, but I still suck. I feel stupid.

Also, I've been having major eating problems again. I just don't want to eat anything anymore. I just get an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach whenever I eat. It's not nausea, but just discomfort at this point.

Sounds like you are having a tough day.
Much love to you!

[Unrigged64072835]

Still depressed. Binged on a lot of food today. Have to keep a food log for next three weeks for the dietician so I guess today was my splurge day. I feel like a fat slug. Not doing this again.

Contractors for fixing the shower finally called. They’re coming by Wednesday. Should know by then how long it will take.

Husband has an EKG monitor for two weeks. Still having palpitations after a big meal. Found that out at lunch. He thinks he may have had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago. Hope the cardiologist is called in. He asked when he is going to have time to work on his projects. I’ve been doing housework, taking care of our cat, and various things to be ready for the contractors next week, plus both of our med appointments, plus trying to find recipes that don’t wreck my body. I should’ve said when I have time to, but he wouldn’t get that. He feels by driving me around that he doesn’t have time for anything. He doesn’t have to do it, but he feels if I start driving myself around we’ll be further apart. Ugh...it didn’t help that his MS doc appointment turned into a cluster of other appointments and tests for a different med. Depending on my GI doc appointment there’ll be more after that as well. Who knows.

I’ll be alright.

Love and hugs to everyone. Wish I could be more helpful but I’m going through my own crap.

[Blueberrybook]

Too tired to respond to others' posts today. I'll go back and catch up later.
Sorry about that.

I was all energetic and then suddenly I wasn't.

I did a lot of boring chores today, planned a meal menu for the coming week (God I hate cooking), ordered the groceries for curbside pickup tomorrow. This curbside shopping method has saved me from a lot of impulse buying, and I hope it continues. Doing chores, I stopped at my pharmacy to pick up Protonix and also got a flu shot since they were not busy. Though I found myself angry & cursing and yelling a lot more than usual while driving, especially at people I deemed were morons, parking their vehicle in the passenger walk-way right in front of the store entrance, stopping traffic only to let 2 teenages, maybe early 20s out of their truck right in right of the store. OMG, can't teenagers walk from the parking lot?!

What causes the anger like that? It was explosive and sudden (though yes, I do in fact think teenager who are perfectly healthy do not need to be dropped off in front of a store like that; my pharmacy is inside a grocery store). I have had a few outbursts which of course in my forgetful state, I know longer remember, but it was nearly off the rails today.

Or does that just happen with bipolar, whether you are mixed are not? Is it during depression, mania, somewhere between? It is very uncharacteristic of me, especially out in public.