[bizi]

Originally Posted by spikes

I've been doing really well at showering at least every other day lately. I took one today and I actually got dressed instead of staying in my pajamas.

yay! you got dressed!
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[bizi]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Hubby and I will pick apples at a local apple orchard today. That is a very pleasurable activity. We will also buy cider donuts at their store. They are the yummiest cider donuts in the world. I can't wait!

I had to go back on Ativan, but half the dose I had been on before going off cold turkey from 0.5 mg to 0 almost three weeks back, with my psychiatrist's permission. I was just too unwell. I called my psychiatrist two weeks in and he doubted it was benzo withdrawal, but since I've started taking a bit again these last couple days I feel much better. It was indeed benzo withdrawal, or at least in my head.

self care, you know your body best!
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[Guiness187055]

Took a shower and started to cut back my benzo usage.

[Borderline69]

The more I visit this forum the more I realize I dont belong here. I dont have anything in common with any post, I think I'm more sane than I initially thought lol. I cant contribute to topics I honestly dont relate with.

Sorry if I posted this in the wrong post, just wanted to express my thoughts.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Borderline69

The more I visit this forum the more I realize I dont belong here. I dont have anything in common with any post, I think I'm more sane than I initially thought lol. I cant contribute to topics I honestly dont relate with.

Sorry if I posted this in the wrong post, just wanted to express my thoughts.

sorry you don't think you belong..
what good thing have you done for yourself today.
answers are inspiring.
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[yellow_fleurs]

Showered
Did laundry
Went out for breakfast with a friend who happened to be in town. I was feeling down and that cheered me up.
Went grocery shopping and made dinner with enough left over so I will have food tomorrow at work.

[Moose72]

Went to church with my youngest and sang in the choir for the first time since June. He and my ex are in the choir too which makes it fun.

I watched a video called "Wonkey Donkey Grandma". Watch it on youtube. I laughed till I teared up!

Possible trigger:

Pdoc called. I confessed to SH plans yesterday. She upped my Haldol to 10 for tonight.

Had dinner with my daughter.

Seeing my therapist in the morning.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Went to church with my youngest and sang in the choir for the first time since June. He and my ex are in the choir too which makes it fun.

I watched a video called "Wonkey Donkey Grandma". Watch it on youtube. I laughed till I teared!

Had dinner with my daughter.

Seeing my therapist in the morning.

I am glad that you sung in the choir....you are learning ways to care for yourself.
(((((HUGS))))
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[bizi]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Showered
Did laundry
Went out for breakfast with a friend who happened to be in town. I was feeling down and that cheered me up.
Went grocery shopping and made dinner with enough left over so I will have food tomorrow at work.

Sounds like a great day!
(((((HUGS)))))
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[bizi]

hubby helped a lot!
He cleaned parts of the house when I was working yesterday,

he even cleaned my bath room floor!
He cut up all of the meat for the gumbo which was a big job

and enormous help to me.
We had a good time. (and the house is cleaner)

The gumbo came out great and there were 10 of us, plenty with left overs.
Some one brought a green salad and potato salad for the gumbo, we put this in to the gumbo as we eat it!
Wonder how other gumbos are made?
I had 3 beers over the course of 4 hours, I am happy with this.
I call this moderation.(self care)

bizi

breakfast

clean clothes

brushed teeth/ washed face

I'm also listening to music and watched some tv earlier

Took a full shower, including me washing my hair and shaving my legs. I sort of only did it because I was sweating profusely from the "on my hands and knees" cleaning I was doing early in the morning. I probably wouldn't have shaved my legs, but I was so hot that I absolutely wanted to wear shorts and knew I'd see someone this morning. If it was just me I wouldn't have cared about my legs.

I'm debating whether or not to call my GP. I have not been well since I went off my Ativan, with my psychiatrist's approval. I called him last Tuesday and on Wednesday he returned my call. He said he highly doubted I was having benzo withdrawal, but I nevertheless decided to start taking a little again, but only 0.25 mg instead of 0.5 mg. I do feel slightly better and my jaw and tooth pain significantly reduced, but I still get light-headed or super clumsy when I'm out doing even a little exercise or cleaning like this morning. Is it still a very mild benzo withdrawal? Or something else I need to ask my GP about?

I see my psychiatrist this Wednesday. I will talk to him again about all of this and take his direction. Also, I only got 5 hours sleep last night for some reason.

[bizi]

Lots of self care here.
could you take your benzo at night to help you sleep?
bizi

Hi bizi. Normally I don't need the Ativan at night. I already take 0.5 mg Klonopin, 600 mg Seroquel XR, and a significant dose of Tegretol XR at that time. In the past, I always took the Ativan in the morning.

Actually, I must confess to researching other conditions that have many of the symptoms I'm experiencing. Many know that one can find a great variety with matches. Now I'm wondering if part or a lot of what I'm experiencing is perimenopause. Pretty much all of my symptoms (and age) could fit that, though getting back on a little dose of Ativan on top of Klonopin has helped with some, but far from all.

I don't have a few of the symptoms listed for perimenopause or benzo withdrawal, but I guess many main ones. I decided to leave a message for the nurse at my gynecologist's office. I'm not sure when my annual exam should be or if they can help lead me in the right direction. My gynecologist has been very helpful in the past with a non gyno issue that resembled a gyno issue in ways, so maybe she can be again.

[bizi]

research is good, thinking about other possibilities is good. asking to see a gyn is good. perimenopause can affect our whole bodies. I am in it.

good going!
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[bizi]

I put cream on my cuticles before bed(so I don't pick at them).
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[bizi]

Yay! I took a shower and washed my hair!
bizi

Today I'm going to the beauty salon to get my hair cut and a conditioning treatment. Ideally I'd also want my hair colored, but the grays aren't that noticable and I can't afford to spend a fortune. The stylist is expensive. I'll ask her to dry my hair straight and flat iron, which is becoming more and more of a challenge as my hair gets curlier as I age. Her haircuts are superior to those I've had from other stylists. When I used to go to her, strangers (around 5) would stop and compliment it. My hair can be one of my best physical features, or totally wild, depending on the cut. Once a French woman in a restaurant said it looked "so French". We'll see if it does again, if my curls can be tamed. I usually style it curly, which I also like. Hubby likes it straight better.

My gynecologist called me back after I spoke to her nurse for a while. Both said that it didn't sound like perimenopause. Both thought it was benzo withdrawal, which my psychiatrist doubts. They said my psychiatrist should wean me off even slower. It's always funny how often doctors disagree with each other. My gynecologist said that if my psychiatrist continues to disagree that I should go to my GP. I'll admit that since I started taking a little Ativan again (but half my most recent long-term dose) I've started to feel better in many ways. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow.

I've known my gynecologist and GP for 20 years, and my psychiatrist for 15/16. They all know me very well, and my whole medical history.

[jtopinka]

Paused amidst the rambunctiousness and neediness of my toddler and closed my eyes, felt my feet touching the floor and realized the floor was supporting my every move and that gravity was keeping grounded and sending energy back into my body to take on the cares of the day...

[bizi]

yay bird dancer! self care!
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[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Hi bizi. Normally I don't need the Ativan at night. I already take 0.5 mg Klonopin, 600 mg Seroquel XR, and a significant dose of Tegretol XR at that time. In the past, I always took the Ativan in the morning.

Actually, I must confess to researching other conditions that have many of the symptoms I'm experiencing. Many know that one can find a great variety with matches. Now I'm wondering if part or a lot of what I'm experiencing is perimenopause. Pretty much all of my symptoms (and age) could fit that, though getting back on a little dose of Ativan on top of Klonopin has helped with some, but far from all.

I don't have a few of the symptoms listed for perimenopause or benzo withdrawal, but I guess many main ones. I decided to leave a message for the nurse at my gynecologist's office. I'm not sure when my annual exam should be or if they can help lead me in the right direction. My gynecologist has been very helpful in the past with a non gyno issue that resembled a gyno issue in ways, so maybe she can be again.

Just for something interesting: I had to have a hysterectomy and both ovaries out due to a cancer scare. That dumped me into surgical menopause which in turn triggered bipolar. My pdoc, gp and reproductive endocrinologist all agree that I probably would not have bipolar if my estrogen levels hadn’t plummeted through the floor.

[bizi]

wow, our hormones really effect us. I went into my first psychotic break after having a birth control shot that last 3 months. depoprevera or something like that I went slowly manic over the month, my first hospitalization and diagnosis, I amn so much happier now.
we have good jobs and are will retire here.
bizi

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Just for something interesting: I had to have a hysterectomy and both ovaries out due to a cancer scare. That dumped me into surgical menopause which in turn triggered bipolar. My pdoc, gp and reproductive endocrinologist all agree that I probably would not have bipolar if my estrogen levels hadn’t plummeted through the floor.

Hi Pookyl. I hope your cancer scare is long gone. I'm sorry it left you with a mood disorder, though.

I talked for a while with my gynecologist's nurse and then my gynecologist of about 20 years the day before yesterday. Both said perimenopause sounded very unlikely. They actually both said they thought I was having benzo withdrawal, which was what I originally thought given my situation going off Ativan. They said that if my psychiatrist continues to think otherwise and my uncomfortable symptoms return (they have since diminished significantly since I started taking some Ativan again) to see my GP. I'm now pretty certain it was benzo withdrawal. Luckily going back on it, but at a smaller dose than before, seems OK.

I see my psychiatrist today for my regular appointment. I'll tell him my whole story.

[bizi]

glad that you are seeing your pdoc today.

It is hard coming off benzos, and should be slowly tapered off.our latest meal plan comes today! Wonder what we have for dinner tonight? I can't remember what I ordered. We cook together, no alcohol for me. Hubby drinks but not to excess like me.
bizi
I gave myself a mini facial this morning.
Self care!