[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Moose72

My freaking daughter wont sign the paperwork!!!!!!! Says she wants to move out but she has no concrete plans.

What happens if she won’t sign ?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

Saw my pdoc today - she's increasing Modafinil a little.


Modafinil I think has had a small positive effect during the month I've been on it. I went from being moderately or severely depressed for 20 days of the month in August to 15 days of September.


Might be a move in the right direction so maybe the increase will help. I hope to get to baseline someday soon.

Sorry you are struggling with depression. It sucks.

I get lost and can’t even remember how long it’s been around.

Hope the med change helps

[MsSchadenfreude]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Thanks so much !!!

I’m south of Nashville, finally set to get some Fall weather , terrible heat too long !

I love Tennessee (and the fall!). I lived in Knoxville for 4 years of my childhood years, then we moved to Florida...then other places too.

I noticed you enjoy cleaning, that's what I did a whole lot of this weekend too. Cleaning and cooking can really be my zen when I'm in those kinds of moods.

For me, the fall usually becomes a time of high energy. I like to pace around the house sometimes while thinking. Lol

[Victoria'smom]

My eating disorder is back. I’m drinking solely water and eating a very small meal. I’m depressed and hoping I make it to my husband’s birthday. I wouldn’t want to ruin that. He’s depressed too. He’s thinking of dropping out of school again. Our car died today there’s no fixing it. So we have no car for the foreseeable future. Lucky there’s public transportation. However my son’s classes are at night So I don’t know what we’ll do. My son has huge open wounds because of his picking. There each the size of a cigarette burn and it’s all over his face, his arms, his legs, his back just everywhere and he’s bleeding all over the place. I’m at a loss of how to help him. I recently went up to 200mg of lamictal. Hopefully it’ll help me. I do recognize my family needs me even if it’s just financially. I’m in a dark place with no help out. I may end up IP and I don’t really care if I do.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

My eating disorder is back. I’m drinking solely water and eating a very small meal. I’m depressed and hoping I make it to my husband’s birthday. I wouldn’t want to ruin that. He’s depressed too. He’s thinking of dropping out of school again. Our car died today there’s no fixing it. So we have no car for the foreseeable future. Lucky there’s public transportation. However my son’s classes are at night So I don’t know what we’ll do. My son has huge open wounds because of his picking. There each the size of a cigarette burn and it’s all over his face, his arms, his legs, his back just everywhere and he’s bleeding all over the place. I’m at a loss of how to help him. I recently went up to 200mg of lamictal. Hopefully it’ll help me. I do recognize my family needs me even if it’s just financially. I’m in a dark place with no help out. I may end up IP and I don’t really care if I do.

It sounds like you are in a really low, dark place and I am sorry to hear that. I hope you don't stay there too long. If you need IP you need it, please stay safe.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

MM-From your post I think you need to really consider IP. I have never seen you suggest you were even willing to consider it, much less not go down without a fight. I'm worried about you. please get the help you need in whatever form that is. A few days IP to feel better than you describe is worth it.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by MsSchadenfreude

I love Tennessee (and the fall!). I lived in Knoxville for 4 years of my childhood years, then we moved to Florida...then other places too.


I noticed you enjoy cleaning, that's what I did a whole lot of this weekend too. Cleaning and cooking can really be my zen when I'm in those kinds of moods.


For me, the fall usually becomes a time of high energy. I like to pace around the house sometimes while thinking. Lol

I grew up in Florida , Tampa Bay Area then moved here to South of Nashville Tennessee! First cold snap hitting this week then the Fall colors will pop ! I look forward to fall all year long.

Yes cleaning for me is soothing.

Normally I am very up and happy in the Fall but right now I’m dealing with some depression , I really need it to lift.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

My eating disorder is back. I’m drinking solely water and eating a very small meal. I’m depressed and hoping I make it to my husband’s birthday. I wouldn’t want to ruin that. He’s depressed too. He’s thinking of dropping out of school again. Our car died today there’s no fixing it. So we have no car for the foreseeable future. Lucky there’s public transportation. However my son’s classes are at night So I don’t know what we’ll do. My son has huge open wounds because of his picking. There each the size of a cigarette burn and it’s all over his face, his arms, his legs, his back just everywhere and he’s bleeding all over the place. I’m at a loss of how to help him. I recently went up to 200mg of lamictal. Hopefully it’ll help me. I do recognize my family needs me even if it’s just financially. I’m in a dark place with no help out. I may end up IP and I don’t really care if I do.

Sorry your going through all this

Does your son need IP ? All those open wounds need to be addressed and then he can get some help that will hopefully stop that to this degree.

Is your husband taking his meds ?

Are you just taking Lamictal? Still on Zyprexa ?

Maybe a IP stay would really help you, I know you hate it but you or your husband need to get healthy to care for Miguel as he sounds like he is a mess.

Anorexia? Hell im knocking on its door so all I can say is do the best you can.

[Victoria'smom]

Does your son need IP ? All those open wounds need to be addressed and then he can get some help that will hopefully stop that to this degree.

He's willing to go to the dr and see if they can help give him a cream or something and that maybe a starting point because he doesn't want to go to a pdoc and I can't/won't force him.

Is your husband taking his meds ?

I have no idea. I haven't bothered to ask. It's out on his desk but I don't see him take it.

Are you just taking Lamictal? Still on Zyprexa ?

I'm on 200 mg lamictal and 5mg zyprexa. I don't have the zyprexa so I was taking the 10mg until I was out a couple of days ago. My meds are being delivered tomorrow.

Maybe a IP stay would really help you,

I don't know if either of us qualify because it's not like we're planning. Plus my nephew is staying here and DH has to teach on Mondays. Me I'm not as busy but kinda just done with everything.

Miguel as he sounds like he is a mess.

He obviously did not take me leaving for a week for my sister's wedding very well. He is a mess but he's willing to at least brainstorm ideas to heal them. He's really embarrassed about it.

Anorexia? Hell im knocking on its door so all I can say is do the best you can.

Hopefully we can both find a healthier solution and stop dealing with this crap.

[Sunflower123]

I saw a movie last night that I thought overall was very good but that had a part to it that was triggering to me and to one of my friends. My daughter mentioned that you can check such things out on IMDb.com and I did after the fact. It was listed under parental guide and spoiler. Had I known this beforehand, I would not have seen this movie. Again, good movie overall...please be aware of possible trigger. Just a heads up.

Best wishes to all this Wednesday.

no sleep, really stiff back, confused over what day it is, unmotivated

not the best start to wednesday

hopefully today is better than yesterday though- I don't think anything could be worse.. I got so little done

After yesterday having been so awful, hopefully today will be a much better day.

Got therapy in about an hour's time from now, and I'm hoping to work through some challenging pieces of my life.

I'm also looking at houses still. Have yet to visit one, but my agent is getting me ready to do that.

Sink situation is bad. I still don't know why I'm getting white stuff that looks like drywall coming up my sink this morning. What the hell are these people above me flushing down their drain??? They should get fined for that s***. I just can't WAIT to get my own house, because I'm not going to flush drywall down my own drain and f*** up the plumbing.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

After yesterday having been so awful, hopefully today will be a much better day.

Got therapy in about an hour's time from now, and I'm hoping to work through some challenging pieces of my life.

I'm also looking at houses still. Have yet to visit one, but my agent is getting me ready to do that.

Sink situation is bad. I still don't know why I'm getting white stuff that looks like drywall coming up my sink this morning. What the hell are these people above me flushing down their drain??? They should get fined for that s***. I just can't WAIT to get my own house, because I'm not going to flush drywall down my own drain and f*** up the plumbing.

I hope you have a much better day today!

I finally managed to get myself to the phlebotomist early this morning. I'm glad they are close, because when I first set out for their office I didn't have the blood work script. I had to return home to get it. I was intensely relieved that when I finally got there prepared that there was only one person before me. Sometimes it's a rat race there.

I am going to try to enjoy my day. I promised hubby that I'd make a soup I've never made before. I offered him the choice of zelnocka (a Czech sauerkraut soup) or New England clam chowder. He chose zelnocka. That's OK, but deep down I was in the mood for New England clam chowder. I'm also going to make a diet friendly almond bread pudding. Actually, the zelnocka is more diet friendly than New England clam chowder, too. That's probably for the best.

I went to the adult school class last night and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I was surprisingly less anxious, too, especially considering that I had to basically act in front of students, while standing at a podium. We were voicing/acting out radio commercial content.

I am the only female in the class I mentioned. That fact, and just my own logical guess, inspired me to ask the instructor how female opportunities in the fields the class focuses on compare to those of males. His answer was quick and honest. Women have fewer opportunities. That's OK, though. I'm not really interested in voice overs or radio/TV commercials. I'm more interested in improving my recorded voice for a potential podcast to an audience that would likely appreciate female voices as much as a male's. I'm not an actress want to be.

Before I even did a reading, I asked the instructor if I should try to deliberately enunciate and calm my combo Philly/central NJ accent. He said "no" that it could potentially be appealing, in some cases. Then after I did a reading, he criticized my pronunciation of the words "food" and "goo". To that I said, "Well I guess my accent can be a problem!" Now I guess I have to play these words on Dictionary.com to "normalize" my pronunciation.

I suspect that the instructor may have a slight prejudice against female voices in the fields. I'll try to look past that and just learn all that I can. He does seem to be very knowledgeable, otherwise. I was the only one in the class to ask questions, which has often been the case throughout my life. His answers were very helpful to everyone. "Thank you very much for asking questions, BirdDancer!" Yea, right! Raspberries! Also, some other suggestions he made were ones I was already doing in my prep.

I think my reduction in Seroquel XR is already helping.

[Wild Coyote]

Saved by my rescue inhaler last night. It's been 10 days now. This is quite a virus.

Slowly recovering.

Love to All!

WC

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Saved by my rescue inhaler last night. It's been 10 days now. This is quite a virus.

Slowly recovering.

Love to All!

WC

I am glad to hear you are recovering, even if slowly. Good thing you had your inhaler nearby last night.

I hope you have a full recovery soon. That virus sounds like quite the nightmare.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I finally managed to get myself to the phlebotomist early this morning. I'm glad they are close, because when I first set out for their office I didn't have the blood work script. I had to return home to get it. I was intensely relieved that when I finally got there prepared that there was only one person before me. Sometimes it's a rat race there.

I am going to try to enjoy my day. I promised hubby that I'd make a soup I've never made before. I offered him the choice of zelnocka (a Czech sauerkraut soup) or New England clam chowder. He chose zelnocka. That's OK, but deep down I was in the mood for New England clam chowder. I'm also going to make a diet friendly almond bread pudding. Actually, the zelnocka is more diet friendly than New England clam chowder, too. That's probably for the best.

I went to the adult school class last night and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I was surprisingly less anxious, too, especially considering that I had to basically act in front of students, while standing at a podium. We were voicing/acting out radio commercial content.

I am the only female in the class I mentioned. That fact, and just my own logical guess, inspired me to ask the instructor how female opportunities in the fields the class focuses on compare to those of males. His answer was quick and honest. Women have fewer opportunities. That's OK, though. I'm not really interested in voice overs or radio/TV commercials. I'm more interested in improving my recorded voice for a potential podcast to an audience that would likely appreciate female voices as much as a male's. I'm not an actress want to be.

Before I even did a reading, I asked the instructor if I should try to deliberately enunciate and calm my combo Philly/central NJ accent. He said "no" that it could potentially be appealing, in some cases. Then after I did a reading, he criticized my pronunciation of the words "food" and "goo". To that I said, "Well I guess my accent can be a problem!" Now I guess I have to play these words on Dictionary.com to "normalize" my pronunciation.

I suspect that the instructor may have a slight prejudice against female voices in the fields. I'll try to look past that and just learn all that I can. He does seem to be very knowledgeable, otherwise. I was the only one in the class to ask questions, which has often been the case throughout my life. His answers were very helpful to everyone. "Thank you very much for asking questions, BirdDancer!" Yea, right! Raspberries! Also, some other suggestions he made were ones I was already doing in my prep.

I think my reduction in Seroquel XR is already helping.

I once forgot my bloodwork script and apparently the phlebotomist had it on file already, so I didn't have to go home to get it.

Did your phlebotomist complain about you not having your script, or did you go home before you got there? If you left before you got there, then next time you go in for bloodwork, ask if they have your script on file. Sometimes dr's (like mine) electronically send a script to the lab that I want to go to and give me a paper copy. Dr's and phlebotomists don't always tell you that, so I'm just giving you a heads up. I've had two dr's in the past who've sent things electronically, so it wasn't just a one-time thing with one GP.

Sounds cool about the class, though. My voice sucks. My therapist says it's flat and dull. Monotonous. Maybe I'd be good for evening news that people listen to to go to sleep. lol.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm doing OK today so far except a headache, and I can't take NSAIDs because of the ulcer stuff, only Tylenol, which might as well be candy, so there is no point to taking it.

My pdoc only addressed the sleep & not depression issue yesterday. He feels good sleep is more important in bipolar, and I can't fault him on that, I agree sleep is super important for me. He did not lecture me on trying 50 mg trazodone, but when I told him it left me unreliable with the alarm clock, he told me to cut the 50 mg in half for 25 mg, take the trazodone along with all my night & sleep meds an hour earlier than I wanted to go to bed (trazodone taking 1, just over 1 hour to affect me). It actually did work for me last night; I hope it works again tonight.

I took my car in for an oil & filter change and fluids check (think it may need some transmission fluid, and that is an awful pain to add to my car. The mechanic used to be in walking distance from my house, but it moved (not horribly far, but way out of walking distance). I told owner (the ownership is passing from father to son, which is probably related to the move) I need the car back in at a certain time, so I can pick my daughter up from school. Their driver took me back home, and they will manage it, even if they run late, have the driver take me to my daughter's school and wait on her then take us home. They are very good, not just the mechanics stuff but in bending over backward to help customers. Though perhaps we get special treatment, as some years I felt H & I kept them afloat financially due to so many car issues. I pick my daughter up as a walker, but the actual walk is long due to having to take a roundabout route to walk from school to home (probably 30, 45 min.) because the direct route has no sidewalks and is along a busy street, which later becomes Main Street in the old part of town. A nearby church lets parents pick up their children as walkers, walk across a field, get their children, then go back to the lot and drive home, which is what we do. Much less stressful than the car rider line, faster than taking the bus.

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I once forgot my bloodwork script and apparently the phlebotomist had it on file already, so I didn't have to go home to get it.

Did your phlebotomist complain about you not having your script, or did you go home before you got there? If you left before you got there, then next time you go in for bloodwork, ask if they have your script on file. Sometimes dr's (like mine) electronically send a script to the lab that I want to go to and give me a paper copy. Dr's and phlebotomists don't always tell you that, so I'm just giving you a heads up. I've had two dr's in the past who've sent things electronically, so it wasn't just a one-time thing with one GP.

Sounds cool about the class, though. My voice sucks. My therapist says it's flat and dull. Monotonous. Maybe I'd be good for evening news that people listen to to go to sleep. lol.

Hi bluebicycle. I did return home for the script, but luckily I was only a couple of minutes from home when I remembered. I did need the script in this case, since the relevant doc does not submit it electronically. I have gone there before when docs did.

My voice is likely the opposite of what you describe. I'm very up and down in my speech and perhaps emphasize words to an excessive degree. I'm hoping the class will tame that a bit. I'm not sure, but maybe my anxiety last night even caused an excessive amount of physical gesticulation and dramatic verbalization. When I'm hypomanic or manic it can also get out of control and even shock or be off-putting.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I once forgot my bloodwork script and apparently the phlebotomist had it on file already, so I didn't have to go home to get it.

Did your phlebotomist complain about you not having your script, or did you go home before you got there? If you left before you got there, then next time you go in for bloodwork, ask if they have your script on file. Sometimes dr's (like mine) electronically send a script to the lab that I want to go to and give me a paper copy. Dr's and phlebotomists don't always tell you that, so I'm just giving you a heads up. I've had two dr's in the past who've sent things electronically, so it wasn't just a one-time thing with one GP.

Sounds cool about the class, though. My voice sucks. My therapist says it's flat and dull. Monotonous. Maybe I'd be good for evening news that people listen to to go to sleep. lol.

I'm glad you made it in time for your bloodwork. In my case, if the plebmotist complains, the company our insurance insists we use is right behind my PCP's office. It could be a problem, I guess if the pdoc sends me and I forget it.

I hope your class goes well and gets more enjoyable

Good for you, trying to cook something new. I've had the Czech soup as both of my grandmothers were nearly completely Czech. They both liked to cook. All of my grandparents were Czech except for one of my grandfathers, who was German, and according to my sister's ancestry kit stuff likely migrated down to Texas from a German community in the Midwest. We always did know his background was Germany, just not that his ancestors were in the Midwest before Texas.

[Blueberrybook]

Got car back from the mechanic in plenty of time before I need to get my daughter. It's needed an oil change for many months now.

[rwwff]

Its been a few days now on the new AP dosage and the hallucinations seem to be mostly gone, just the normal'ish ones people get at the edge of sleep remain so I'll just ignore them and call it all good. Mood is improving a bit as well, things seem brighter, I guess would be a good way to put it, maybe just the relief of being able to trust my stupid ears again.

[Moose72]

Tell me: does this sound like depression? Achey limbs and wanting to sleep all day. Exhausted but havent done anything? Crying at movies? Heart pounding?

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Tell me: does this sound like depression? Achey limbs and wanting to sleep all day. Exhausted but havent done anything? Crying at movies? Heart pounding?

Hi Moose, I'm not so sure about the heart pounding but the achey limbs, sleeping all day, and the exhaustion sound very much like depression. I hope you get to feeling better.

[TheSeaCat]

I seem to be doing alright today. The indigestion seems to be fairing rather well with the medication which is making me not want to flush the Seroquel. My anxiety seems to be managed with the new dose of three times a day. I mean it's only been a day and I'm still skeptical because surely something is going to go wrong with this combination.

I finally got my money back from the hotel hell fiasco. It only took three angry phone calls and one call to their corporate office to get it back.

Still waiting to hear anything about my referral to Cardiology which I still don't see the point. I think my doc might be hiding something because my heart rate is always high when I see him and he's never done anything but lab work and three EKG's and all of a sudden he thinks I need a Cardiologist. I get that my blood pressure was significantly higher than it's been, but I still don't see how this warents a trip to a Cardiologist. I also don't want to see any more doctors, heck I'm sick of the one I have now and I actually like him.

Hope everyone is well this Wednesday.